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❝ you know that it's not real, right? ❞
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𝘚𝘺𝘭𝘷𝘪𝘦'𝘴 𝘗𝘖𝘝

"Kelce in the house!" I hear the dark skinned boy holler and I lift my head up from the table, sniffling as my nose burns.

"Pogue?" Kelce frowns in confusion.

"Little red!" Topper corrects him through a slur.

"Be nice to my sister, Kelce" Rafe warns him, patting his back roughly.

"Sure thing, Rafe" Kelce smiles at me, sitting down in the chair next to my brother.

"What brings you here, Sylvie?" Kelce asks me.

"I'm just here to establish an alibi" I joke and they all laugh, making me smile.

Topper takes his line and I down my drink, ignoring the burn. I slam the glass onto the table and Kelce laughs, pulling out a water bottle from his bag.

"Ladies first" He declares, handing me the bottle.

"What's in it?" I ask, unscrewing the lid.

"It's a secret, but it will get you wasted so much quicker" He explains vaguely and my fogged brain perks up.

I bring the bottle to my lips and take a large gulp of the liquid. The vile liquid runs down my throat and I grimace in disgust, passing the bottle to Topper. All the boys take a drink out of the bottle and Rafe cuts Kelce a couple lines.

I sink into the sofa as all the drugs and alcohol in my system start to make me feel like my whole body is on fire. I completely zone out and everything becomes white noise in the background of my thoughts.

I'm sure I can hear someone saying my name repeatedly but my vision blurs and all I see is a fuzzy blonde figure, waving in my face.

"He thinks he's so much better than me. One day i'll show him. He'll see!" I hear Rafe bark in anger and I zone back in, catching the scene of Rafe aggressively kicking a chair.

The wood breaks and splinters are sent flying but I don't flinch at all. My hands shake and only one thought runs through my brain as I realise the similarities between Rafe kicking the chair and me kicking the trash can outside the chateau.

My brother's reaction to his own rage has me wondering if maybe the Pogues should compare me to Rafe.

"Wanna see something fun?" I speak up.

The boys all look at me and I stand up, stumbling into the house. I grab my skateboard from my room and they follow me to the top of the stairs.

"Can you even stand on that in your state?" Kelce asks in a judging tone.

"I can skate in my sleep. Worry about yourself, Kelsey" I retort, making the other two laugh while he frowns in anger.

I put the board down about a metre away and place one foot on the board.

"Go for it, little red!" Topper cheers.

"You can do it" Rafe slurs, encouraging me further.

I give them a salute and push off, gliding down the hallway. A loud holler leaves my lips as I bump down the first couple steps, the boys cheering loudly over the music.

My foot abruptly hits one of the steps and I flip forwards, my whole life flashing before my eyes as I let out an ear piercing scream. I feel my body tumble down the stairs and I hit the ground at the bottom with a thud. My head whacks off the floor and the whole room blurs.

"Sylvie!" I hear multiple voices scream loudly, some sounding nearer than others.

"I didn't do it" I slur, black dots clouding my vision.

"Why would you idiots let her skate down stairs drunk?!" I hear the sound of my sister screeching.

"Oh, wait that...Yes, I did do that" I mumble incoherently.

"She said she could!" Kelce argues.

"She's wasted! She'll say anything!" Sarah bites back as I feel someone lift me off the ground.

"I'm sorry, little red" I hear Topper mumble and my vision clears.

"Don't be, asshole" I mutter, my head lulling onto his shoulder.

There's more yelling in the distance as Topper carries me away but I block it out due to my thumping headache. I'm placed down on the living room sofa and I pat Topper's arm in thanks before he leaves.

Sarah enters the room minutes later and I pretend not to notice her, staring up at the ceiling. She sits down on the coffee table next to me and clears her throat awkwardly.

"I called the chateau and JJ's coming to get you" She tells me and I let out a giggle.

"You wanna know a secret, Sarah?" I ask, feeling my tough exterior breaking down.

"Sure. What's the secret, Sylvie?" She sighs.

"Ever since we were little, I would get this feeling like...like I'm floating outside of my body, looking down on myself. And I hate what I see. How I'm acting, the way I sound. And I don't know how to change it. And I'm so scared that that feeling is never gonna go away" I drunkenly admit, my eyes watering as I speak and I let out a broken laugh "Maybe it's because everyone else hated me growing up, that I ended up hating myself. Or maybe I'm just too fucked in head to be loved, even by me. Either way, I feel like I'm drowning in a pit of self loathing and i've forgotten how to swim"

"Sylvie" Sarah speaks, pity clear in her voice and I scoff, pulling myself up.

"I get it, barbie, you don't care. I'll just wait outside for JJ" I ramble, storming past her.

I stumble my way to the stairs in front of the door and I plop down, dropping my head into my hands.

I hear the door open behind me and I feel someone sit down next to me so I lift my head up. Topper gives me a sloppy smile and I roll my eyes, wiping my eyes.

"Is your head feeling okay, little red?" He asks.

"We're not friends, Topper. You don't have to act as if you care" I tell him bluntly and he nods.

"Okay" He breathes out "But what if I do care?"

"Then clearly I wasn't the only one who hit their head" I laugh, shaking my head and he smiles.

"I think you might have a concussion" The blonde Kook states.

"When in doubt, remember FISH" I reply and he furrows his brows in confusion.

"FISH?" He questions me.

"Fuck it, shit happens" I explain and he chuckles.

"You're different than everyone makes you out to be" He explains.

"How so?" I ask curiously.

"Rafe makes out that you're this bratty little runt who fucks everything up and Sarah, she gave me the impression you were a bitch who didn't care about anyone but herself" He explains and I feel a pang in my heart but I ignore it.

"Damn, I got myself a fan club" I comment and he chuckles.

"Well, what do you think now?" I then ask.

"That you're funny, and beautiful, and reckless, and deep down all you want is for your family to love you or at least give a fuck" He answers and I giggle, throwing my head back in amusement.

"You're starting to sound like you're falling in love with me, Thornton" I joke and he rolls his eyes.

"Whatever, little red" He replies.

"What are you hanging around with me for?" I hum in confusion.

"The guys are arguing over motorbike brands and you're still here, so when life gives you lemons" He shrugs drunkenly.

"Life has never given me lemons. It's given me anger issues, anxiety and a serious dislike for stupid people" I reply and he laughs.

"Your laces are untied" Topper states and I look down at my shoe, realising he's right.

I lean down to tie them but I almost fall forward off the step and Topper grabs me before I do.

"Here, I'll do it" He says, pulling my leg onto his lap.

He ties the laces tightly and just as he taps my leg to let me know he's done, I hear the beeping of a horn.

"If you don't get your hands off my girlfriend I won't hesitate to shove my foot up your ass, Thornton!" JJ holler, jumping out the van.

"JJ!" I squeal, smiling widely at the boy.

"Hey, angel" The Maybank boy smiles softly, crouching in front of me.

Without hesitation I grab the Pogue's face and press my lips onto his firmly.

"That's my cue" I hear Topper say before I hear the door closing behind him.

JJ pulls away and I attach my lips to his neck, aggressively kissing and sucking on his skin.

"Bunny, as much as I love this, we should go" He groans softly, pushing me off him gently.

I pout like a child and he smiles, pecking my lips quickly. JJ intertwines our fingers and helps me to my feet.

He helps me into the van and I'm met with the worried eyes of Kiara, John B and Pope, but I'm too buzzed to do anything other than wave perkily and they all smile warmly, waving back. John B starts the engine and I sit down on the floor with Kiara, my head leaning against JJ's knee.

"JJ, who's the prettiest girl in the world?" I question, looking up at him and he looks down at me in confusion.

"You" He answers without thinking much about it and I loudly blow a raspberry.

"Wrong! It's Megan Fox" I answer, throwing my head back in a fit of laughter.

"Is she drunk?" Pope asks from the passengers seat.

"And high, thanks to Rafe" JJ explains, not looking impressed at all.

"He was nice to me all day today" I gasp excitedly, my eyes falling onto Kiara who smiles weakly and reaches out to take a hold of my hand in hers "He didn't call me names, not even once, Kie. And he even told Topper and Kelce to be nice to me"

"Did that make you happy, lovie?" She questions, rubbing her thumb over my knuckles.

"Really happy" I hum in content.

I lay my head down on her lap and she runs her fingers through my hair, trying her best to soothe me as my high causes my brain to run haywire.

"Sylvie" Pope speaks up and I look up at him, a hesitant expression on his face "Vie, you know that it's not real, right?"

"What?" I frown.

"Rafe and the Kooks being nice to you. It wasn't really them, Vie. It was the drugs talking, not them" Pope explains and my heart sinks.

"That's enough, man" JJ warns the Heyward boy.

"I just don't want her to get her hopes up, dude. We can't let her think that getting high is a way to make her brother love her because it's not" Pope stresses "He's not a good guy and she doesn't deserve to be stuck chasing a loving brother that doesn't exist"

"He loves me" I argue, my eyes welling up with unshed tears.

"He doesn't love anyone but himself" Pope counters.

"No. He loves me, Pope" I choke out defensively as I sit up straight "He does, he just gets mad sometimes"

"You don't hurt the people you love. No matter how angry you are" JJ breathes out.

"Then why did Johnny hurt me?" I ask, my blurry gaze turning to the brunette in the drivers seat "You know how I feel about my family. You knew that involving my sister in our lives would hurt me, yet you still went ahead and done it anyways"

"I can't help who I fall for, Sylvie" He frowns guiltily.

"I don't care how you feel about her, John. Marry the bitch if you want to" I scoff in anger "But the cut was my safe place. The chateau was where I always felt at home and you brought her there"

"I told you, it wasn't fair" Kiara snaps at the Routledge boy.

"It's my house" He declares "I didn't think you'd care about that"

"My life on the cut was the only thing I had that she didn't and now she has her claws hooked on you. It's only a matter of time before she wedges herself into that life and destroys it" I warn him.

"You're being dramatic" He sighs, shaking his head softly.

My anger fizzles out into a numb feeling of hopelessness as I come to the realisation that it's already started.

My sister has already got John B wrapped around her finger.