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❝ someone who was never real ❞
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𝘚𝘺𝘭𝘷𝘪𝘦'𝘴 𝘗𝘖𝘝

The Malibu approaches the pier to the chateau and I spot the Pogues all chilling by the HMS, including John B Routledge. I spring up from my seat and my eyes widen in surprise, the Pogues noticing us approaching.

"John B?" I call out as he turns to me and I grin widely "John B!"

"How the hell is this idiot out?" I mumble in awe, rushing to the side of the boat as Topper stops it.

"There he is" Topper mutters bitterly.

"Hi" John B smiles at me happily as Kiara ties the Malibu to the HMS and I practically leap from one boat to the other, throwing my arms around the Routledge boy.

"Hey!" I squeal happily, hugging him tightly "I can't believe you're here right now"

"I'm so glad you're okay" He replies as I pull away from him.

"You know me, Johnny. I'm practically invincible" I joke, pushing him playfully "What happened anyhow? How are you out?"

"Uh, they dropped all the charges" He explains simply and I raise my brows in surprise.

"No, shit? That's fucking awesome, bro" I grin joyfully

"I'm a free man" He smiles widely.

"As you should be" I pat his back encouragingly.

"I know. It's great, but..." John B counters and my smile falters slightly "But listen, Vie,                         they're coming after Rafe"

"Oh" I mumble out in response "Yeah, that's for the best"

"Honestly, I'd have to agree. That guy is completely unhinged" Topper speaks up and JJ swoops me into his arms, hugging me tightly from behind.

I feel JJ sweep my hair away from my shoulder to kiss my neck like he always does but I never feel his lips meet my skin, I only feel him stiffen up and gently pull my hair further back.

"Sylvie, who the fuck did this to you?" JJ demands in an enraged tone and I damn myself for not trying to cover the bruises Rafe left behind on my throat "Was this you, Thornton?"

Before anyone can make any sudden movements or I can explain the situation, JJ leaps from behind me and towards Topper. One minute they're fine and the next Topper is stumbling backwards, holding his face in pain and John B is pulling JJ away from the Kook.

"Lay a finger on my girl again and I'll kill you! You're fucking dead!" JJ screams in rage as he struggles against John B.

"JJ, it wasn't Topper!" I yell, scrambling to the other boat with Sarah and we both check the blonde Kooks reddening jaw.

I turn from Sarah and Topper to look at the Pogues who are all staring at me, waiting for some sort of an explanation.

"Rafe jumped me last night" I admit.

"What?" Sarah and Kiara snap as they all look at me in concern.

"That's why I didn't come back" I elaborate, climbing back over to the HMS to wrap my arms around my boyfriend who hugs me tightly.

"Yeah, man. Rafe has lost his mind. Literally almost drowned his own sister" Topper states and decides to take a verbal jab at JJ "Thankfully, I got there just in time"

"Topper saved my life" I declare, pulling back to look at JJ and reassure him that's the only reason I was with the Kook.

"Uh, well, I guess I owe you one, Topper, don't I?" JJ says sarcastically.

"It's all good. I mean, somebody had to rescue your girlfriend, right?" Topper twists the knife and I roll my eyes at them.

"You should definitely go put some ice on that face, buddy" JJ quips with a sneer.

"I think it's clear you gotta go now" John B comments before Topper can respond and the blonde nods with a grin.

"Think I'll head out. It's about that time" Topper agrees and I peel away from JJ to approach the Kook.

"Thanks again, Topper" I smile gratefully, hugging him shortly.

"Yeah, of course. I'm just glad you're okay" He breathes out, patting my back.

✯¸.•'*¨'*•༻❁༺•*'¨*'•.¸✯

"How are you feeling, angel?" JJ questions as he enters the room, flopping down onto the bed beside me.

"I'm okay" I hum, snuggling closer to him.

"Y'know you could talk to me about anything, right?" The Maybank boy murmurs, pressing a kiss to my head.

"Yeah" I sigh out "I guess I'm kinda...sad"

"Do you wanna talk about why you're sad?" He asks, running his fingers through my hair and I nod slightly "Go on, angel. I'm listening"

"I'm just kinda hurt. I know that Rafe does so many bad things and he's not okay, but he's my big brother. You know?" I try my best to explain and JJ nods with a hum, still stroking my hair soothingly.

"He's probably one of the worst siblings ever and deep down I don't believe he even loves me. I don't think he's capable of loving anything, and that is so soul crushing because I can't help but care about him" I tell my boyfriend who listens to my every word.

"Growing up all I wished for was a big brother like the ones from the movies. A big brother who would protect me from all the monsters" I admit sadly, my eyes tearing up "When I was just small and didn't truly understand how ill my brother was, I adored him. I used to follow him around like a little shadow and copy what he'd do to be just like him"

"Did you know when we were just kids, Rafe used to take the blame for things I'd done so our dad would hit him instead of me?" I reveal and JJ shakes his head, not knowing "Once when I was around five or six, I smashed an expensive vase off the dining table and before my dad came storming in, Rafe hid me under the table so I was hidden behind the table cloth"

"I'll never forget hearing the awful things Dad said to him and I'll never forget peeking from the bottom of the cloth. I was frozen in fear, I didn't understand why Daddy was beating Rafe senseless and I was scared that he'd beat me too, so I stayed silent" I add on, tears escaping my eyes and rolling down my cheeks.

"I remember when Rafe would push me on the swing because he liked to make me laugh" I smile nostalgically and JJ wipes my tears, still hanging onto every single word I say "Eventually he stopped making me laugh and he started making me cry instead. He liked it better when I'd cry. I think that's because the years of taking my beatings made him bitter and resentful"

"It's not your fault" JJ finally speaks up and I frown deeply.

"I know" I shrug.

"No, I'm being serious. This is not your fault" He repeats sternly.

"Yeah, I know" I nod but he's not convinced.

"There is nothing you could've possibly done, Vie" JJ declares, cupping my face so I look him in the eyes "You were just a kid. You did all you could"

"I feel so fucking stupid" I choke out, a lump growing in my throat.

"Why do you feel stupid, angel?" JJ sighs, smoothing out my hair.

"Because I miss someone who was never real. I miss a brother I never even had" I let out a sob and JJ pulls me into his chest, letting my cry.

"It's okay, baby. I've got you" He whispers, holding me tightly "You're okay"

"I hate him so fucking much" I whimper "But at the same time I don't hate him at all"

"I know, and that's okay. It's perfectly normal for you to feel like that" JJ validates my confusion and I hold onto him a little tighter, melting into his strong arms.

"Thank you for listening, J" I breathe quietly.

"Always" He assures me.