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Clemont pushed his round glasses up his nose and decided not to knock.

Even after being only a year senior to the honey-blonde, he felt no less responsible for Serena than he did for Bonnie. She was his best friend—more like a sister now after all the years they had spent laughing, fighting and crying over things that were now left as sweet memories.

He had first met her when Grace approached him on a rainy July day. The four year old Serena was reluctantly trudging behind the brunette who was in her early twenties then. She kept her distance from him until she found out that he had baby Bonnie with him. She quickly warmed up to her and gradually to him.

Slowly they became the best of friends and siblings by soul. There was only very little that they didn't know about each other and they had agreed not to push for answers. Clemont was glad he and Bonnie had Serena with them. Grace was there but Bonnie grew closer to Serena and the honey blonde had helped him raise his sister to her thirteen year old self. Clemont was honest, and slightly flustered, to admit that he understood very little about girls. Bonnie and Serena had made a note to tease him about that whenever they got the chance. Serena had mockingly sympathized with him and proudly presented herself to be at service at all times.

She had kept her word wonderfully. And pride too.

Clemont sighed, giving Serena's bedroom door another thoughtful look before walking down the stairs.

"Where is Serena?" Bonnie's head peeked around the wooden frame of the kitchen doorway. Her face fell when she saw him coming down with a somber look on his face.

"She needs some alone time." He muttered, not looking up at her, his voice laden with helpless concern.

"Well there's nothing known as 'alone time' during Christmas!" She exclaimed and moved past her brother and up the stairs.

"Bonnie, don't barge in on her!" He shouted after her but she paid no heed to him. "Eureka!"

Bonnie slightly flinched and ran up the remainder of the stairs.

Not good. I better not mess up.

Thirteen year old Eureka, fondly called Bonnie, never felt the absence of a family. With Clemont and Serena she had everything that she could ever ask for. Back when she started elementary school, she used to wonder and ask about her parents all the time. Her friends always had their parents dropping and picking them up and it was hard for Bonnie to accept the fact that she could never boast about her parents like her friends did.

Serena and Clemont understood her childish banter and were always there with her, no matter how big of ruckus she created. Serena was not her real sister but that never mattered. Bonnie loved Serena as much as she loved Clemont and with her around it just made their little trio complete.

Bonnie gently knocked on Serena's door and took a deep breath. She heard some shuffling, sniffling and a small cough from inside before the door opened. Bonnie's shoulders slumped when she saw the honey blonde's disheveled state.

This is why . . .

Bonnie was the last person Serena expected to open the door for. She thought that it'd be either Grace or Clemont like always.

"Bonnie?" She could not hide the surprise in her voice and before she could say something else, Bonnie invited herself in, a visible frown plastered on her face.

Bonnie sat down on the bed and her eyes fell on a little book which was peeking out from under the pillow. She pulled her gaze away from there and looked at the older teen.

"Listen Bonnie–"

"Why do you do this to yourself, especially during Christmas?" Bonnie fired quickly, interrupting whatever Serena had to say.

Serena gaped at the girl and looked confused. "Do what?"

"I don't know," Bonnie started, uncertainly, "mentally harass yourself, I guess?"

"I, I—I don't understand. What are you talking about?" Serena looked at her, both surprised and skeptical at what she had said.

"I am talking about—everything!" Bonnie flailed her arms in circles and held a concerned look. "You—think so much and then shut yourself in like you did just now! Clemont told me you need 'alone time' but alone time for what? You always look so tired even though you sleep the most. The rest of the year you might convince the world including yourself that you are fine but you are always in some—war against yourself. And that becomes visible during December—during Christmas!"

Bonnie huffed and eyed the honey blonde as she breathed softly, exhausted from the monologue she had just delivered.

Serena stared at the girl sitting on her bed, completely at a loss of words. "You don't understand anything Bonnie—" she started but was interrupted by her once again.

"Then explain it to me!" Bonnie shouted and sighed heavily. "I know there is something no one tells me because everyone—Clemont, Grace and you—think I won't understand. But I am not small anymore! Why don't you tell me? I can understand now—"

"You will never understand!" Serena snapped and clenched her fists. "No one can ever understand," she enunciated slowly and took a deep breath to calm herself. "So please don't pester me with questions. Just stop, okay?" She spoke bitterly and rubbed her temples.

As if she wasn't already frustrated enough, losing her temper and lashing at Bonnie like that irked her temper more. Bonnie was just trying to help—Serena knew this and understood it better than anyone else. 

That was too harsh. I shouldn't have yelled like that.

Serena took a deep breath to calm her nerves and started talking, "l-listen Bonnie, I—" She turned to look at Bonnie but froze when she heard a slight sniffle.

Oh no.

Serena bit her lip and turned around completely, an uneasy feeling settling down in her gut and guilt stabbing her heart as she looked at a teary-eyed Bonnie.

"Oh Bonnie," she whispered and approached the girl. The honey blonde reached out her hand but stopped when Bonnie swiftly got up and walked out of the room, without a single word.

Clemont, who was about to knock on Serena's door, was surprised to see Bonnie storming out, pushing past him. "Bonnie!" He shouted after her only to receive a loud bang as a door slammed shut. He pursed his lip, concerned about Bonnie and equally worried about Serena. He knocked softly on Serena's door before entering, his face asking the obvious.

Serena looked up at him and sighed, confirming his suspicion that the girls had quarreled. She sat down on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. "I am sorry," she mumbled faintly and Clemont shook his head.

"No, Bonnie shouldn't have—"

"She doesn't know everything but she can still see it. And she had a point. Why do I do this to myself?" Serena gave a bitter laugh and kept her head on her knees, the throbbing in her head not getting any better.

"I am so pathetic," she whispered and at that, Clemont, reflexively, pulled at Serena's ear, making her squeal in pain.

"Don't ever say that again or next time I won't let go of your ear," he warned. She looked at him and nodded silently. Satisfied, Clemont smiled softly and sat down next to her. "As for your question—I am not sure."

"Neither am I." Serena confessed, dejected. "Do you think I am—acting or trying to be like this just to gain sympathy from everyone?"

Clemont shrugged. "Don't think so," he mumbled thoughtfully, "I mean, it's never been you who told us what you were feeling. Instead we are always poking our noses in your business without you asking for it."

Serena chuckled and shook her head, "no, I wouldn't say it like that."

"Then how?"

"Maybe—intervening." She suggested and looked up at him.

"Took you a while to think of that." Clemont replied monotonously.

"I was trying to put it a bit more bluntly to not hurt your feelings."

"So you do agree that we poke our noses—"

"—intervene, with your noses."

"Ouch," he feigned being hurt and Serena grinned devilishly.

They both erupted into a fit of chuckles at their little exchange. It took them a while to calm down and Serena looked at the ceiling, replaying her entire day and her conversation with Bonnie.

"Maybe I am dragging this for far too much," she said thoughtfully.

Clemont looked at her and shook his head. "It's not as easy as everyone makes it sound—getting over the past, I mean. Getting emotionally scarred is pretty easy, especially when you are a kid. Did you know that even the tiniest of things create a big impression on kids? The age group when kids are most vulnerable to such things is usually—"

"Okay nerd, got it. You ruined the pep talk with your science-y stuff," Serena retorted.

"Hey! I am not a nerd, just a—"

"—'science geek', I know. It is more commonly known as 'being a nerd'," she remarked, air quoting 'being a nerd', "so just remember that. It will help you through conversations with people other than me, Bonnie and Mama."

"And now you are making fun of both my social awkwardness and my love for science," the bespectacled teen exhaled, "so mean."

"Whatever you say, nerd." She shrugged and laughed at his expression which clearly said 'I-am-so-outta-here'.

"'Science geek' if you may," he breathed and groaned.

"On a serious note, continue what you were saying," she insisted and looked at him.

"Well as a kid you get easily—I mean it's easy for certain things to leave a deep impact on you when you are a kid because then you are vulnerable to almost everything."

"I was seven when I met him," she commented and Clemont hummed in response.

"I know," he added softly and took a deep breath. "And you became obsessed with him, with having a friend. You became too attached, too quickly. But you can't blame yourself for this because it happens."

It happens.

The words resonated inside her head as if a cassette had been tuned to rewind loop after loop. She couldn't quite explain or convince him that there is no thing such as 'it happens'. People forget decades of years worth relationships if they want to and it happens in a snap. But somehow she couldn't bring herself to do that. It is like she was clinging onto his friendship which was non-existent at this point.

Even if, miraculously, he did reappear in her life, what was there to talk about? Which is better—blueberry or plum? Honey or jam on pancakes? Yellow or red candy? Serena was aware of the fact that there was no longer any common ground between them and yet she was in love with the idea of talking to him—a person she started disliking because her seven year old self felt betrayed when he didn't fulfill the promise he made.

The promise of coming again, next year.

And the seventeen year old held onto grudges adamantly, even if they were made a decade ago.

She snapped out of her thoughts when Clemont pinched her to get her attention. She hissed at the momentary pain and rubbed the spot where he had pinched her to get rid of the burning sensation that followed. She glared at the bespectacled boy who was giving her a hard look.

"What?" She snapped.

"I was giving you the pep talk you asked me for. But you aren't even listening," Clemont pouted like a child who had been talking but ignored.

"Fine but you didn't have to pinch me!" She retorted and pouted, still rubbing her hand.

"Why are you still—I didn't even pinch you that hard! And come on, don't cry now," he teased and yelped when she whacked his head with something which felt like a bundle of paper. He apologized for teasing her and stole a quick glance at the item in her hand and immediately recognised it.

He looked at Serena who seemed oblivious to the book she was holding since she was busy threatening him with another hit if he pinched her again.

It would be for the best if she didn't see it again.

"Okay okay, I am so sorry Serena," he cut her rant off and clapped his hands together in front of her face. "I will never pinch or tease you again, I swear, but for now can we please go and have something to eat because I am starving." He simultaneously stood up and grabbed her hand, tugging at it.

She looked at him skeptically and nodded slowly. "Okay? But let me just—"

"I will take care of that," he added quickly and whisked the book out of her hand before she noticed and grinned weirdly, "let's go. You go down and I will bring Bonnie."

"Right, but I think I should talk to her, I sort of yelled at her," she admitted and tugged at her hair anxiously.

Clemont smiled softly and patted her head, "talk to her. Mention giving her a treat and she will be as good as new instantly."

Serena laughed and nodded, "that she will. Thanks Clemont for—"

"I know, I know. Now go because I really am hungry and so is everyone."

Serena nodded and left to talk to Bonnie. Clemont sighed heavily and looked at the book he had snatched from the honey blonde. He opened it up to the first page and his face hardened when he read the little scribble at the center of the page.

Why Serena of all people?

hi, how are you doing today? me, i am the same as always. you should know that but well you don't because you never bother asking. i guess i am holding too many expectations by talking about 'asking' while you couldn't even do the tiniest thing of remembering me.

i sound bitter today, don't i? well in my defense i didn't have lunch yet so i am a bit grumpy. you see i might have lost my temper a little and yelled at bonnie just because she asked me to forget you and not haunt myself with my memories of you.

wondering what kind of memories? i will tell you some other day. maybe.

oh i am completely missing the point here—you know i realised that Hope is like this magnet compass which directs you on the sea but, in our case, directs us in life. the magnet for sea voyagers is earth and for us, it is Hope. like you Hope to climb some mountain someday so you walk towards it. i Hope to see you someday so i think about you everyday. but our compass is flawed. because my end seems to be going awry.

i will explain some other time. oh and are you wondering why i am talking as if you really are listening to me? even if you aren't, let me tell you. i am doing so in hopes to stop being scared.

oh hey, there comes our magnet again!

p.s.: i am too hungry to comprehend what i just said.

A/N: No number of sorries and excuses will change the fact that I am uploading after ages. So I will not defend myself or even dare thinking about it. But I have a few major life updates I would like to share.

So I finally made it into college. Not going to lie but last year around August-September I started thinking that I'd never make it into college but I did which came as a huge surprise to me. And luckily enough, I even managed to go to college for a month and a half, lived in hostels at that time and, although it was a stressful semester with tons of workload, it was a fun time. Sadly colleges shut down again and now I am back home.

Don't get me wrong, I love my home! But I miss the people there and my room and the whole place. I have no idea when I will get to go again but until then, I am at home. 

Another major life update—I tested positive for COVID last week. It was a rough time since my symptoms were severe and until yesterday I couldn't even manage to get out of bed. I am still not completely fine but better.

Will I update on a regular basis now? I have no idea. I will try but I have end semester exams coming and my life in general has been turned upside down due to some personal reasons. But I promise to try my best.

This chapter was nothing much, just an insight into the trio's relationship with each other. I think it will be one or two chapters more before the real story starts but I promise it won't be a waste.

So until next time, happy Wattpad-ing <3