Angelica was woken up to the sounds of glass being shattered. She opened her eyes and noticed that Kai's side of the bed was empty. The smell of blood hit her

"Kai?" She asked but got no response. She got out bed and walked outside of them room, feeling the cool air hit against her skin. She rubbed her arms together and kept walking. The sound of more glass breaking could be heard. Then, the sound of water running could be heard. It was coming from the kitchen. She slowly made her way to the kitchen. When she entered, she immediately felt something cut her feet. She looked down to see shards of glass everywhere. Broken glasses, and plates. She walked across the broken glass despite the pain she felt. She looked over to the sink to see a figure hurled over it. It was Kai. He has his face underneath the water

"Kai, baby?" Angelica asked but he didn't move. Angelica could tell something was off. She rushed over, her blood covering the floor due to the cuts she was getting on her feet. She grabbed Kai and forced him to lift his head up. He immediately gasped before he turned to look at Angelica with bloodshot eyes

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Angelica yelled at him. Kai could only stare at her as his lower lip trembled. She could see the hopelessness in his eyes. The guilt and sadness were present

"I'm sorry.." He muttered with a broken voice. His hands were shaking as he just stared at her. Angelica felt her heart shatter seeing him in such a state. She looked down at his hands to notice blood was dripping down them and onto the ground. A small pool of blood, forming. That's when she noticed that his socks were soaked in blood. There was bloody glass everywhere. She grabbed his hand to look at the wound

"I didn't.. mean to.. I'm sorry.." He said softly as he began to cry. Angelica bit her wrist and held it up to his lips. He sucked on the red liquid and his wounds began to heal, including the ones on his feet from the broken glass. Angelica wrapped her arms around his neck as she held him close to her. He broke down into her arms, his knees giving in underneath him. Angelica held him up as he gripped onto the back of her shirt. She moved one of her hands to the back of his head and pushed his face into her shoulder. His entire body trembled in her hold

She felt her own tears, fall down her face as she held him, listening to his broken and heart wrenching cries. She slowly slid to the ground as her back was against the counter. She could feel the glass beneath her, cutting into her skin but she didn't care. She just kept Kai close as she held him. She could feel his tears and snot, soaking her shirt. She wished she could make him feel better, but there truly wasn't anything she could do, except for being there with him

☆♡☆

"Me and Stefan.. I think we're dating now.. I'm not really sure.. but I slept with him" Caroline explained as she and Angelica walked down the side walk

"What?!" Angelica asked shocked

"Yeah and girl.. look, he knows how to use his hands.. that's all I can say" Caroline teased with a smile. Angelica playfully shoved her

"No, because like Kai.. his hands are like.. I'm literally getting horny thinking about it.. the other day when Kai was licking the frosting off of his fingers.. I could've cum right there. I can't lie" Angelica said. Caroline laughed

"Oh my God! You're so dirty! Speaking of Kai, you said we were gonna get him something..?" Caroline asked. Angelica nodded as she smiled

"He hasn't been doing too well since the merge.. emotionally.. it's been hard for him. I wanted to get him a cat!" Angelica explained. Caroline gasped as she covered her mouth with her hands

"That is so cute! OMG! That's like so sweet! The image of Kai holding a cat is so cute! Ah! I'm gonna take so many photos! Let's go!" Caroline cheered as she grabbed Angelica's hand and led her into the pet shop. Angelica's eyes immediately landed on this ginger cat

"That one" Angelica said pointing at it. Caroline picked up the cat and read it's collar

"It says her name is Nugget" Caroline said

"That's such a cute name!" Angelica gushed before taking the cat from Caroline. She held the furry creature in her arms

"Kai is gonna love her, she's so soft" Angelica said. Caroline got a cart and began putting all kinds of cat stuff for Nugget. She got like 15 different beds, a scratching post, cat food, brushes, litter boxes, and toys. Caroline then went up to the cashier and just compelled him so they got everything for free. They returned to Caroline's car and put all the stuff in her back seat. Angelica was still holding the cat, that nuzzled into her chest. Angelica giggled

"Nugget is such a cute cat" Caroline said

"He's gonna love her.." Angelica said with a smile

"You said Kai was struggling.. have you thought about getting him a therapist?" Caroline asked as she drove to Angelica's house

"I'm gonna get him a therapist, but once everything relaxes. It's all so high speed and Kai's got to worry about the Coven now.. and he's just everywhere. I don't want to add one more thing for him to worry about" Angelica explained. Caroline raised an eyebrow

"So you got him a cat? Something that needs to be taken care of?" Caroline asked

"Well, I'm gonna take care of the cat, all he'll have to do is hold her and play with her.. I'm gonna do all the hard work!" Angelica said with a determined look. Caroline leaned over and pinched Angelica's cheek

"You are just so adorable" Caroline said. Angelica playfully shooed Caroline's hand away

"Okay.. mom" Angelica teased before her phone buzzed. Someone was calling her. She held Nugget with one hand and used her free hand to pull out her phone. It was Kai

"Hello?" She asked

"Angel.. I did.. something" Kai said weakly. It was evident that he had been crying

"Kai?! What's wrong?!" Angelica asked worriedly

"I.. I.. I didn't mean to.. please.. I'm sorry" Kai cried. Angelica felt tears welling up in her eyes just from the tone of his voice

"Kai?! What did you do?! Talk to me!" Angelica yelled but Kai hung up.

☆♡☆

Kai had been home by himself. Angelica had left to go do something with Caroline. Kai had wished she was here, but he knew that he couldn't stop her from living her life, no matter how much he wanted to. Kai walked into the bathroom and began running the shower, waiting for the water to heat up. He took off his shirt, leaving him in just a pair of shorts

Kai turned on the sink and splashed water onto his face. He looked at himself in the mirror, water dripping down his face. All he could see was a monster, and it didn't help that he was sleep deprived. He hadn't been sleeping too well. Constant nightmares and the images of what he had done to his siblings haunted him. He wanted it to stop, but it wouldn't. It was torture

"Stop looking at me like that" Kai told himself in the mirror. It was as if his reflection was mocking him. Telling him that he was weak. That everything his father had ever said about him was true. Tears began to stream down his face. He began to hear his father's words calling him worthless, an abomination, a failure, an outcast, a mistake. It repeated in his ears on loop

"Stop it!" Kai screamed out before his fist smashed against the mirror. The glass shattering. His knuckle bloody, cut from the glass. Yet, the pain didn't register for him. He threw another punch at the mirror with his other hand, still able to see his reflection. He didn't want to look at himself. He was a monster. His knuckles kept making contact with the broken glass as he repeatedly punched it until there was nothing left to look at it

Kai was panting as his entire body trembled. His breath was shaky. He looked down at his hands to see that they were a mess. Shards of glass stuck in his knuckles as blood dripped down his fingers. He brought his shaky hands up to his face before he walked backwards until he hit a wall. He sunk to the ground and just cried, letting the blood drip onto the ground. His chest felt like it was going to burst. It hurt so much. He wanted it to stop. He'd do anything to make it stop

A larger shard of glass caught his eye on the floor. He slowly crawled over to it and picked it up. The glass sharp, cutting his palm, painting the shard red. He leaned back against the wall. This was how it'd stop. He couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't built for this. Then, his mind thought of Angelica. She'd be heartbroken to see him like this, but he couldn't.. It was too much. She'd forgive him, right?

He held the shard shakily with his bloody hand before he forcefully stabbed himself in the stomach. He let out a cry of pain before he realized what he had just done. His eyes went wide with horror as he looked down to see the blood gushing out of his stomach. He yanked the shard of glass out but that only made the bleeding worse. He was freaking out as blood just kept coming out. He shakily pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Angelica, his blood on the screen

"Hello?" Angelica asked

"Angel.. I did.. something" Kai admitted weakly as he felt himself growing colder

"Kai?! What's wrong?!" Her worried voice asked. He loved listening to her voice. His lower lip trembled

"I.. I.. I didn't mean to.. please.. I'm sorry" Kai cried out. He felt his fingers starting to go numb, causing him to drop the phone

"Kai?! What did you do?! Talk to me!" He heard her yell, but Kai's phone suddenly shut off. Kai let out a weak laugh

"I forgot to charge it" He laughed before he cried even more. His breathing became more shallow as he hugged himself, he was freezing. The shower was still running. His eyes were beginning to get heavy, his vision going in and out. He was gonna die here, alone. All alone. Just like his father told him he would. Kai guessed his father truly was right. He wished that Angelica was here. If he was going to die, he wished it'd be in her arms

All he could think about was how much this was going to hurt her. All he did was hurt her. He was going to leave her all alone after he begged her to stay with him. How selfish could he be? He thought about her. The way her nose crinkled when she smiled. The way her eyebrows furrowed when she got confused. Her laugh. He loved hearing her laugh. He loved her smile. He loved everything about her. He'll never forget the memory when she made him braid her hair, and he ended up fucking it up so bad that she cried. She had to get it professionally done, but when it was finished she just laughed. She never let him do her hair again

He remembered when Angelica explained to him what love felt like. He never understood it. He didn't understand how you could get butterflies just by seeing someone. How you could get so nervous? He never got it, and then the merge happened and suddenly it was like he was seeing Angelica in a new light. He'd always wanted her and needed her but it was different now. He felt so strongly about her in a way that was unfamiliar to him. He felt those butterflies

He felt the nervousness. He felt it all. Just as he was dying, he had come to the realization that he in fact loved her. He remembered the nights she used to cry, when she thought he was sleeping. He'd just listen to her cry about how he'd never be able to truly love her. She never blamed him, but she wished that he could love her the way she loved him. In response to that she had developed the need to make sure that he had needed her.

Being told that he needed her was a replacement for being loved by him. Something she'd never get from him. She would never know that he loved her back. Out of all the shitty things Kai had done in his life. Out of all the things. His biggest regret was not being able to tell her. He felt his consciousness slipping fast. His mind growing silent as his eyes closed. Strangely, he felt at peace despite knowing that he was about to die

"Angelica.. I.. love.." Kai didn't finish his sentence as his consciousness faded away. The bathroom door slammed open and a shrill scream was heard

"Oh my God!" Caroline screamed as Angelica rushed over to Kai who was barely breathing. Her eyes as tears streamed down her face. She sunk her teeth into her wrist and held it up to mouth

"Kai.. drink it! Drink it!" She screamed out. He didn't respond or do anything. Angelica cried out as she forced his head onto her lap. She forced his mouth open and let the blood drip into his mouth. The blood hit the back of his throat and his body instinctively swallowed. Caroline had her head in her hands as she paced around the bathroom. Angelica was shaking and sobbing

"This is my fault! I shouldn't have left!" Angelica cried out with a broken voice. Kai's breathing began to stabilize but all Angelica could feel was guilt. Caroline rushed to her side and wrapped her arms around her

"Angie.. you can't blame yourself.. you didn't know this would happen" Caroline tried to comfort

"I caught him the other day.. I thought it was a one time thing! I should've paid more attention! I could've stopped this!" Angelica screamed as she wrapped her arms around Kai's limp body

☆♡☆

Kai opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was Angelica snuggled against his chest. He smiled at her touch before he leaned over and kissed her forehead. She immediately stirred awake and looked at him with those beautiful brown eyes of her

"Hi, Angel" Kai spoke with a smile. Angelica just wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could. Kai was taken off guard but hugged her back. "Did something happen?"

"No, nothing at all. I'm just glad you're with me" Angelica lied through her teeth. Kai raised an eyebrow, knowing she was lying but decided he'd deal with it later. He got out of bed, needing to go to the bathroom. Angelica's eyes widened

"Where are you going?!" She asked frantically. Kai furrowed his eyebrows at her strange behavior as he made his way to the bathroom

"I'm just going to th- Oh my God.. What happened?!" Kai asked as he stared at the bathroom. The mirror was completely shattered and there was blood all over the floor. Angelica clenched her eyes shut. "What the hell happened?!"

"You did" Angelica said softly. He turned to look at her before looking back at the bathroom before it hit him. He fell on his ass as his eyes went wide. It all came back. He crawled back towards the foot of the bed as fast as he could. His breathing became shaky

"Kai?! Kai! You're okay, you're okay!" Angelica told him as she rushed to his side. She wrapped her arms around him. Kai gripped onto her arms as he shook

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I didn't me-" Kai was cut off as he just stared at the bathroom with wide eyes

"I know.. I know.. it's okay.. it's okay.. I'm here with you.. I'm here now.. I won't leave you. I love you" She told him. Kai couldn't stop shaking

"You love me?" He asked. Angelica looked at him like he said something in an alien language

"Of course I love you. I've always loved you" She said as she cupped his cheek. Kai smiled hearing her words. As his head was filled with chaos, and his heart was a mess of feelings, her words brought him tranquility. Being told that he was loved made him happy. He was happy that she loved him. He leaned in and kissed her. She kissed him back softly before he broke apart and leaned his forehead against hers

"I.. I think I love you too" Kai said. He had the chance to tell her. It was the last thing he thought about before he went to sleep. Angelica looked at him confused as tears welled up in her eyes

"What?" She asked with a confused smile. Kai grabbed her hand

"I think.. no, no.. I know.. I love you.. I love you, Angelica" Kai said. Angelica just stared at him

"Do you really mean that?" She asked quietly as if expecting him to say no. He had never been able to love her. It wasn't his fault, because he physically couldn't. It didn't mean she didn't wish he loved her. She did, every single day. But somewhere along the way, she became complacent with the fact that he couldn't. She was okay with it. As long as he needed her and wouldn't throw her to the side, she was okay with it. She was okay with it if he used her as long as she could stay by his side. So to hear him utter those words sent Angelica over the moon but it confused her as well

"I do.. I really do.. I get those stupid butterflies when you touch me.. and- and I love listening to your laugh.. and when you tell me everything's going to be okay, I really feel like it is.." Kai said with a smile before it faded. Angelica just wrapped her arms around Kai even harder. Kai's mind went back to what he had done yesterday. How much he had regretted it

"I won't do it again.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." Kai whimpered as he felt guilty for what he had done

"You scared me! I rushed in and you were almost dead.. I-If I had been a couple seconds later.. y-you would've.." Angelica trailed off as she began to cry. The way Kai looked on that bathroom floor would forever be burned into her mind

"I know.. I know.. I'm sorry" Kai replied with a shaky voice. His hand went up to the back of her head, his fingers going in between her locs. The way she was right now, he never wanted to see it again. He could see the mortified look in her eyes, and he had caused that. He had done that to her. He hated himself even more because of it. How could he make her cry like that? He was so selfish for what he had done

And yet on the other side Angelica hated herself for allowing this to happen. She was selfish for leaving him alone. She hated herself for not seeing this coming. If she would've noticed that he couldn't sleep. If she would've noticed the way he hadn't been eating, but she believed him when he said he was fine. She was stupid. She said she loved him and couldn't see what was going on

Suddenly a fury creature walked into the room. The cat pranced its way over to the upset engaged couple and began nuzzling its head against Kai's leg. Kai looked down confused. There was a cat in their house. Some random cat. Perhaps a door was left open?

"There's a cat" Kai stated snapping Angelica out of her self-wallowing. She looked down and let out a sad laugh

"That's Nugget. I got her for you.. as a support animal" Angelica said with a sad smile. Kai looked at the ginger cat before looking at Angelica. He gave her another sweet kiss

"She's cute" He said as he stared at Angelica. Angelica smiled wider hearing this

"You think so? I-I saw her and thought you'd like her" Angelica as she wiped her tears. Kai removed his arms from Angelica and he picked up the cat. He began petting her soft fur and smiled

"I like her very much.. thank you" Kai said with a soft smile

"I'm so glad to hear you say that because I don't know what I would've done if you didn't like her. I mean I left you alone to go with Caroline to get Nugget and then I came back and you we-" Angelica began rambling but was cut off as Kai chuckled at her. He moved one of her locs out of her face

"You're pretty, you know that?" Kai asked. Angelica was completely taken off guard as she looked away in embarrassment. He'd always told her she was beautiful but it was different this time. It was like he was looking at her differently and she noticed this

"You think so?" Angelica asked shyly

"I know so.. say does Nugget like TV? Because I think we'll have shows to watch. You like shows like Lost? We can so binge that together" Kai talked to the cat which Angelica found absolutely adorable. Even if their life was currently a mess, at least there was a little light in the seemingly forever darkness

(3660 words)
04/06/24

This chapter was kinda hard to write ngl. I suck at angst and I hate writing it😭