ˏˋ°•*⁀ ➷ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗬
─◌✰್ 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗇𝗀𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗄𝖾
𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗰𝗮𝗸𝗲 (𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻) /ˈ𝘀𝗽ə𝗻𝗷 ˌ𝗸𝗮̄𝗸/
❝𝖺 𝗌𝗈𝖿𝗍， 𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗄𝖾， 𝖾𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝖺 𝖻𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖾𝗀𝗀𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝖺 𝖿𝗈𝖺𝗆𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗒．❞

Your confrontation with Felix was not going the way you'd expected.

For starters, it hadn't even happened yet.

At some point, your brother and his friends had decided to turn on the sprinklers in the backyard (rip the water bill) and were all running around in the water like children.

When you initially left your friends only to find Felix and the rest of the guys frolicking like wet puppies outside, you thought they'd get bored quickly and move on to something else.

But now, it had been half an hour, and none of them were showing any signs of stopping.

Maybe boys really were just dogs.

You wished you could just go back out with your friends and ignore the important conversation that needed to happen. But of course, you couldn't. You wanted to resolve whatever miscommunication was threatening to happen between you and Felix.

You wanted to be with him. You didn't want to give up on what you had, because knew it was special, maybe even once-in-a-lifetime, if that was possible. Besides, you'd pined after this guy since you met him more than fifteen years ago. You couldn't just give up on him now.

You watched with a mix of impatience and amusement as Han slipped in the wet grass and fell sprawling on the ground. Changbin, who had been running right behind him, toppled over too, and they both writhed around in the grass like a pair of snakes.

"You both look so stupid!" Seungmin called, shaking out his hair and smirking at his friends.

Chan hurried over and helped them both up, sighing like this was his full-time job. "You'll break a leg if you keep doing that," he warned them.

Felix was running in a circle around the second smaller sprinkler with Jeongin and an unwilling Hyunjin, like they were fairies in the rain. It was quite adorable to see him having so much fun, especially after he'd seemed so out of sorts earlier. You didn't want to be the bad guy and make Felix ditch them just to talk.

Minho stood on the side wearing big black sunglasses, watching the rest of them with a judgy expression on what you could see of his face.

"C'mon Minho, we know you wanna join us!" Han yelled, motioning for his friend to come over. "It's fun, I promise!"

"It looks cold," Minho replied, crossing his arms. "I'd rather just stay here."

"But it is really hot out," Felix pointed out. "It feels nice."

"I don't want to get wet," Minho insisted. "It's nice enough where I am."

Changbin shook his head and marched over to Minho. "We don't support your party-pooping attitude."

You tried hard not to laugh as Changbin, tag-teamed by Seungmin and Jeongin, dragged the unwilling Minho into the middle of the big sprinkler, thus soaking his light blue t-shirt and gray shorts all the way through.

"I hate you guys!" Minho shrieked, but he didn't try to escape their clutches.

You watched the boys play in the water for a few more minutes, trying to soak in the total peace of the day. It was nice to see them having a good time, and not thinking about anything else but vacation.

But you knew that couldn't last. Not for you, anyway. If you wanted to get back to having fun before your trip ended, you needed to talk to Felix right now.

You waved a hand as covertly as you could. Most of the guys probably wouldn't notice or care too much, especially because you weren't in trouble. Felix and Hyunjin were the only two who might look over.

Thankfully, the former was the first to see your signal. His brows furrowed for a heartbeat, before he waved back. You motioned for him to come over, and after a moment's pause, he relented.

Walking carefully through the slick grass, he came to sit next to you at the table, watching you curiously.

"What's up, Laska?" He asked, running a hand through his wet hair.

"I was just wondering if I could talk to you, really quick," you said, lowering your voice slightly just in case the others were listening.

Felix's freckled face seemed to pale a shade. "Ah, yeah, sure. Is it... serious?"

You paused, weighing your words. You didn't want to stress him out, but you also didn't want to lie. "Its not not serious," was what came out.

Super smooth, Alaska. You rolled your eyes at yourself.

Felix nodded furiously, like he was trying to dislodge water from his ear. "Yeah, you wanna go somewhere else?"

"Yeah, that would be good. Just in case someone tries to listen in," you glanced over at the seven boys, who were now trying to pick up the sprinkler head to spray each other in the face.

Felix stood up, offering his hand to you as he did. You accepted, your heart melting yet again. He really was such a gentleman, always looking out for you, even though you could tell he was visibly stressed about what you wanted to talk about.

The two of you went to stand on the front porch, where you were the only two people within earshot. You could see your friends still sitting around in the sand. Some of them had drinks now, and one of them had a huge snack bowl in their lap.

"What did you want to talk about?" Felix asked. He was still holding your hand. His palm had turned a bit clammy to the touch, but you didn't want to let go. You hoped this conversation would go well. You never wanted him to pull away.

"Well..." you tried to stall for time, but couldn't think of anything else to say. "Before Robin came over this morning, she told me she had some news. I guess she heard you and Hyunjin talking in your room yesterday, and-"

"What did she hear?" Felix interrupted, his face turning red.

"She said she heard you guys talking about me, and how Hyunjin didn't think that you liked me, since you didn't reciprocate feelings for me back when we were kids. It was just a dumb crush when I was like six years old, so it didn't really matter, but..." you paused, your free hand tangled in your shorts pocket.

Felix studied your face. "But what?"

"I just didn't think youd agree with him," you admitted. "I thought that you would stand up to Hyunjin about our relationship and tell him that even though you didn't like me back then, you do now. And you want to be in a relationship with me. Or something like that."

Felix sighed, dropping his gaze to the ground. "I should have stood up to him. But I just got caught off guard when he wasn't there with the rest of the group when I announced our relationship the first time. And when he confronted me out of the blue, I got scared. I didn't know what to tell him, and it all just sort of came out, you know? It was a mistake."

You nodded, trying to understand. "So you thought that Hyunjin was there when you told everyone we were together?"

He nodded miserably, still not meeting your eyes.

"Then why couldn't you just tell him again? If you already hyped yourself up to do it once, what's the difference?" You asked. "Don't you want him to know about us?"

The silence from your boyfriend was enough to answer the question.

"I mean, as much as I hate him sometimes, I need him to know we're together," you continued, balling your hands into fists. "And I don't want to be the only one to tell him. That's not fair."

"I know," Felix murmured. "I wouldn't want you to do it alone either."

"Then let's go find him right now and tell him!" You said, reaching for his hand again. "We could clear all this up and get on with the rest of our vacation. We know he's not doing anything important."

Felix hesitated, moving the slightest bit out of your reach. You snapped your hand back down at your side, heart hammering in your chest. What was going through his head? Was he going to break up with you?

"I-I do want to go with you, Laska," he started, swiping his hand across his forehead, which had started to sweat profusely. "I just need a bit of time. I don't think that Hyunjin will mind us being together. Actually, I think he was a little disappointed by the way I responded to him yesterday. He wants someone who knows they deserve you, and who is proud to be with you, and wants to tell the whole world that they're with you. But I think this whole ordeal has shown me that I need to slow down, take a minute to think. Clearly I'm not confident enough to be in a relationship with you if I can't even admit my feelings to my best friend. Who gives a shit if he's your brother, I should be proud to be in a relationship with my girlfriend. Does that make sense?"

He finally looked up, meeting your eyes with a pleading stare, begging you to understand.

What was he saying? Did he want to be with you or not? It didn't seem like even he knew at this point.

But one thing was for certain: Felix wasn't confident enough in himself to tell your brother, let alone the rest of the world, that he was in a relationship with you. It must have taken a lot out of him to announce your relationship to all of your and his friends. But you were still confused.

"Why does everyone in the world need to know we're in a relationship?" You asked. "You've already told the most important people in my life about us. The only one left is Hyunjin. And if he won't care that we're together, why can't we just tell him now? I want to tell him now."

"I just want to be the best boyfriend I can for you," Felix admitted. "I want to be confident enough to shout from the rooftops that we're together, and I don't think I'm ready yet. I just- I just need some time alone for a bit."

"How much time?"

Felix shrugged uncomfortably. "I don't know. But I don't want us to break up. I really like you, Laska, you're my... you're my sunshine. I just need you to be patient with me. And I feel like a shitty person for saying that, but I just hope you understand."

You reached out and grabbed his hand before he could try to escape. "I can wait for you, Lix," you promised. "I could wait for you forever. But... I just want to know that you actually want to be with me."

"Of course I want to be with you," he said, squeezing your hand. "It just all happened so fast. And I'm still mad at myself for the way I handled my conversation with Hyunjin. I want to be the best boyfriend for you. And for that to happen, I just need... to reflect on myself, as dumb as that sounds."

"I think you're overthinking things," you began. "But I don't want to force myself on you. So if you decide don't want to tell Hyunjin that we're together before the end of the trip, tell me, and we can end things there. If you are ready to tell him, come find me and we'll do it together. Or, if I don't hear from you by the end of the trip, I'll know your answer."

You reached up and kissed Felix on the cheek. His skin was warm and sun-kissed against your lips, and you savored the comforting sensation. You could feel him leaning into your touch, like he didn't want you to leave.

But before he could say anything, you turned and headed back inside.

You knew that if you stayed any longer, you would never leave.

Hopefully, that wouldn't be your last kiss. Hopefully, you'd never have to leave again.

laska's note —
ahhhh my babies are actually so mature for this?? i hate the miscommunication trope, so they're communicating! no matter how much you might agree or disagree with them, at least they talked it out, and i'm proud of them. what do you think is gonna happen next??!! the fic is slowly coming to a close, but there's still a few ore twists and turns for them, and you'll get to find out very soon! give me all your predictions on what will happen, how everyone's relationships will turn out, everything down below! i love this fic, it makes me so happy to write. 🥹

question of the day —
what did you think of skz's new jp album social path(/super bowl lol)??? what was your fave song if you have one???

my answer —
butterflies! i have been waiting for that song for sooo long and now it's finally out!!! it's so good, stream it rn.

𝖭𝖤𝖷𝖳 𝖴𝖯：
𝟯𝟭 - 𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴
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