ˏˋ°•*⁀ ➷ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗬-𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧
─◌✰್ 𝗉𝗂𝗄𝖺𝖼𝗁𝗎
𝗽𝗶𝗸𝗮𝗰𝗵𝘂（𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻) /𝗽𝗲̄' 𝗸ə 𝗰𝗵𝗼̄𝗼̄/
❝𝖺 𝖿𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗅 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗈𝗄𝖾́𝗆𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖺 𝖿𝗋𝖺𝗇𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗌𝖾，𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝖺𝗍𝗌𝗎𝗄𝗈 𝗇𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝖽𝖺 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗄𝖾𝗇 𝗌𝗎𝗀𝗂𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗂．❞

Felix had never felt more conflicted in his life.

As his friends swarmed him, offering high fives and teasing expressions, he knew he should go over and talk to you. Because he wasn't sure if you realized something incredibly important about the very public confession he'd just made, seemingly in front of all his friends and yours. Something that could change how you felt about the whole situation.

And it was that the most important person, the one who should have been there to hear that Felix was dating you, wasn't there.

That person was of course your brother, Hyunjin.

It wasn't like Felix had planned for Hyunjin not being there. In fact, when he had dragged you into the beach house and basically professed his feelings for you, he had done so assuming Hyunjin was there. That was why he felt like he was going to pass out during the entire thing. It was only after he ended his speech that he'd looked around and noticed Hyunjin and JJ weren't there.

And now that the speech was over, his bravery had dissolved like Kool-Aid in water. He would be the first to admit that he didn't have it in him to profess his feelings a second time, let alone to Hyunjin, who he had been the most terrified of sharing those feelings to in the first place.

But what would you say when you inevitably found out that Hyunjin hadn't been there? And that Felix hadn't told you right away?

You'd probably think that he'd done it on purpose, that he'd made sure to find a time that your overprotective brother was absent to share his feelings. Because at the end of the day, Hyunjin was one of the important people in your life, and he needed to know these things. You wanted him to know.

Felix really should just tell you now, get it all out in the open. He wanted Hyunjin to know. Up until a few seconds ago, he thought that he did know. Felix had been braced for a good beating from his friend. Something about how Felix was his best friend, and shouldn't be sleeping around with you, and could have picked literally any other girl. It might have ended their friendship, and Felix was ready to risk that.

But he could feel the fear washing over him now. All he wanted to do was escape the beach house. Maybe if he took some time to be alone, he could find the courage again to speak with Hyunjin and tell him exactly what he'd told the rest of his friends.

But before he could peel off to spend time by himself, Changbin hustled him into the kitchen to play uno with those who were left in the group. That included everyone except Hyunjin and JJ.

Felix took a seat next to you, and he was rewarded with a winning smile. Your cheeks were flushed with happiness, like this was the best day of your life. He almost wished he hadn't looked at you in the first place. He didn't deserve to benefit from your happiness.

"I wanna deal!" Seungmin grabbed the stack of cards from Changbin before taking a seat on the other side of you. He motioned to Renee, who was standing at the side of the kitchen watching the chaos unfold, offering her the spot next to him. With a shy smile, she accepted and sat down too.

The kitchen table wasn't big enough for everyone to sit together, so Chan ushered everyone outside to sit at the table there instead.

When they were finally comfortable and in their seats, Renee decided she wanted to be on the same team as Seungmin, instead of playing alone. That prompted Changbin to ask Lanhua if she wanted to be partners, and you asked Felix too. Mya ignored Riley's pleads to partner up, and asked Jeongin if he wanted to team up, so Riley turned to Chan as a "last resort". Robin demanded that Han pair up with her, because she didn't want to be with Minho, or so she claimed. Han looked like he'd won the lottery. That left Minho and Tessa, who looked equally as upset to be paired together (as in more embarrassed than anything), so there were seven teams instead of fourteen individuals playing.

After Seungmin shuffled and dealt the cards, they started playing, making you and Felix going first. You pointed at one of the cards, and Felix nodded, playing it. You leaned on his shoulder, and he smiled down at you. If only it could be this easy.

Everyone was having a great time, snickering when Felix was inevitably forced to draw ten cards. You sat there speechless, hitting Seungmin on the arm over and over as he laughed his head off at your misfortune.

"Sorry Laska, it's your fault you teamed up with Lix!" Seungmin raised his arms in defense.

"That's not fair!" you exclaimed, glaring at him. "You're purposely picking on us! From this moment on, we're not playing nice."

Felix laughed at you, placing a hand on your thigh in what he hoped was a casual gesture. You didn't say anything, but he could see you struggling not to smile.

This was good, nice, even. Did he really need to talk to you about what had happened earlier?

The game continued, with Riley and Mya arguing over which color card they should have put down. Apparently, Riley purposely put down an "play only red" card, knowing that Mya and Jeongin didn't have any. Mya was throwing a mini-fit, with Jeongin watching with affectionate amusement.

"You're a horrible friend!" Mya complained, shoving the rest of their cards at Jeongin, as if she was giving up.

Riley just smirked. "I'm just doing that it takes to win, sorry."

"Don't be mean to them, Riles," Chan cautioned, shaking his head. "The youngest can be scary sometimes."

"She's just a baby!" you complained, pointing at the youngest duo. "She can't hurt us!"

"You mean, she's the only person keeping you two sane," Lanhua rolled her eyes. "Without her, you'd probably turn out like Tessa and I."

"That would be a nightmare," Changbin teased, placing his arm around Lanhua's shoulders. She glared playfully at him, poking him in his exposed ribs. He let out a yelp.

"You mean alcoholics?" Mya asked, frowning. Lanhua shrugged and nodded.

Robin laughed. "I feel that. I don't think even Mya could stop me from getting drunk though."

"You're probably right about that, you're stubborn," Mya sniffed, picking up a third card as she searched for an elusive red one.

Tessa smirked, nudging Minho in the side. "Remember when you tried to take my long island iced tea from me? That didn't end well. For you, I mean."

Minho rolled his eyes, a small smile pulling at his lips. "That's because you're fucking crazy."

Tessa stuck her tongue out at him before taking a sip of her drink. "Ha ha, smartass."

"If I wasn't drunk off my ass at the club the other night, we might have never met, ya know," Robin pointed out to Han, wiggling her eyebrows at him.

Han thought about that. "You're right, I only like girls with no sense of rhythm. Maybe you'd have been too shy to show off your talent if you were sober."

"Probably not true," you giggled, and Robin pretended to throw her water bottle at you. "What?? I'm just saying you're confident, there's nothing wrong with that."

Robin wrinkled her nose at you, but didn't say anything. Felix squeezed your leg with a smile. You looked imploringly up at him, as if you hoped he would side with you on this.

"I was being nice! Right??" you demanded.

"You're always being nice," Felix agreed.

"Of course your boyfriend is gonna take your side," Riley said dramatically.

Robin bobbed her head enthusiastically. "Yeah, what Riley said!"

"Yeah, no wonder he's had such a soft spot for you!" Seungmin smirked, and Felix shot him a glare. Seungmin just laughed.

The game finally ended with Changbin and Lanhua beating everyone. You and Felix still had eight cards, thanks to everyone else continually ganging up on you for laughs.

Everyone stood up to leave the table. Chan and Minho were getting a little restless and wanted to play in the front yard. Some of the girl, including you, wanted to eat snacks.

"Lanhua is gonna make us cocktails and a cheese plate! Do you want any??" you exclaimed as you stood up, grabbing Felix's hands. His heart still swooped when you did that. It made him happy to know that you wanted to be near him. But at the same time, he felt a sense of impending dread at the possibility of ruining that. He didn't want to kill your good mood, or even rose, mess with what a good thing you had going.

Felix shook his head, mustering up a smile. "Nah, I think I'm gonna take a walk on the beach. It's so nice out there."

You nodded, swinging your joined hands around. "Okay! I'll meet up with you for dinner then? I heard that Chan and Minho might be making ramen!"

Felix chuckled, but it sounded hollow even to his ears. "Yeah, that sounds great."

You waved to him as he walked out the door, before hurrying over to the kitchen where Lanhua had pulled out a blender, and was mixing various kinds of alcohol with fruit.

He smiled. It was nice to see you having so much fun. He would do his best to make sure it would stay that way.

As he headed down to the water, he could see his friends running out after him to play football in the front yard. They started pointing and laughing when Minho got hit in the stomach by the ball that Chan threw at him.

Felix walked out into the shallow water, only just realizing that he was still barefoot. He had neglected to put on shoes when he went for a picnic with you, and apparently he'd never put any on since then.

The rough granules of sand, turned slippery by the water, danced between his toes like millions of tiny fish. He stared out at the horizon, the sun just starting to set as evening approached. The day had been so full of ups and downs, and he was already exhausted.

First, the beach day was so much fun. Spending time with you and having a picnic had been great, even if he'd felt incredibly embarrassed when you questioned where your relationship stood. He hated any sort of tense conversation that could lead to conflict, especially with people he cared about. And you were at the top of that list.

But you were right. Looking back on it, he was definitely scared to show any sort of public affection, no matter how small. He could see why that would hurt your feelings. He never wanted to hurt your feelings. He wished he could have changed the way he'd been acting over this entire trip, but in true Felix fashion, he'd acted like an idiot, and was paying for it now.

He knew you were worth all this fear he was feeling over talking to Hyunjin. For some reason, having a one-on-one conversation with him felt more daunting than the big gesture he'd just performed. Hyunjin would feel more comfortable giving Felix a piece of his mind if they were alone. Not that he'd ever held back in the past.

But as he said, you were worth it.

He needed to go back and talk to you, right now. This was more important than any fear he might be feeling.

He turned around and marched right back to the beach house, but there was no one left outside. Where had they all gone?

Chan came strolling out the front door, a plate of fruit in one hand, the football in the other. He raised his eyebrows at Felix.

"What's up, Lix?" He asked him, tossing the football onto the ground and taking a seat on the porch. He grabbed a piece of watermelon from the plate and took a large bite. Juice dripped down the side of his face.

Lix peered inside the house, not answering him. "Uhh..." he said, continuing to glance around. How had they disappeared so quickly? It had barely been ten, maybe fifteen minutes.

"If you're looking for Alaska, she went out shopping with some of the other girls. I asked Riles - Riley - to bring me back a snack so we could keep playing football, but some of the guys wanted to go with them so now it's just me, Minho, Han, and Robin. Oh, and Hyunjin and JJ just came back from whatever secret place they've been off to that they refuse to tell us about."

"So... Laska's not here?" Felix's shoulders sagged. Just when he needed to speak to you. Dammit. And what made it worse was Hyunjin had already come back. There was no way he hadn't heard about Felix and you. His friends were such blabbermouths, they must have told him. It wasn't like he was trying to keep it a secret, though.

"You want some fruit?" Chan offered the plate to him. The fruit did look pretty good. He wondered who'd cut it up. Chan's knife skills were generally questionable.

"Hey, Lix, can we talk?"

Felix felt his blood freeze over as he heard that familiar voice behind him.

Was this really about to happen right now? He hadn't mentally prepared to have this conversation with Hyunjin so soon. He should have thought of how to word what he wanted to say. Instead, he'd been so confident he'd be able to talk to you first, that he'd forgotten about the possibility that Hyunjin would come back first.

"Yeah, sure," Felix leveled a look at Hyunjin, who just stared back. His expression was uncharacteristically empty, and Felix couldn't figure out what he was thinking. Was he upset? Did he even know that the two of you were dating?

"You wanna go up to our room?" Hyunjin offered. "It's pretty hot outside. I've been sweating like crazy out there."

"Sounds good," Felix agreed, following him upstairs. He wondered why Hyunjin wanted to talk in such a private place. His mind immediately went to the worst possible place. Hyunjin must be pissed off at him because he'd lied and said he wasn't dating you. And now, he wanted to do something about it. All potential situations, from Hyunjin screaming his head off like a banshee, to him trying to beat Felix up, flashed through his head.

Get a grip. Felix tried to steel himself for the conversation.

But as they entered the bedroom and Hyunjin stood there, face expectant, as if he knew exactly what had been going through his head this entire time, Felix felt like he was going to be sick.

"So, I've heard some rumors about you and my sister," Hyunjin said matter-of-factly. One hand sat on his hip, the other in his pants pocket. At some point he must have changed into actual clothes. Felix suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable in his swim trunks. "What's all that about?"

Hyunjin squinted at Felix, as if they were still outside in the blinding sun. The look didn't seem outright hostile or upset, which caught Felix off guard.

"I uh- dunno..." Felix stuttered, unable to meet Hyunjin's gaze.

Hyunjin crossed his arms. "I just want what's best for Laska. She deserves someone who's gonna treat her so well, that I don't have to worry about her anymore. I know you know all that already. You feel the same about your sisters, right?"

"Yeah, of course," Felix said, frowning. He knew his sisters had both dated, but he didn't really want to think about that right now. It was going to make his guilt so insurmountable, it would explode out of this room.

"And I trust you, Lix," Hyunjin began, and Felix braced himself for the worst. "But... correct me if I'm wrong, you've never shown any interest in her before. Even when we were younger, and she obviously had a huge crush on you, you ignored her. And now that she's all grown up, you're suddenly interested?"

"No! I mean, it's not like that-'' Felix felt like he couldn't breathe. Was Hyunjin really saying what he thought he was saying? Was he insinuating that-

"Do you really like Alaska that much? Are you really good enough for my sister?"

Hyunjin watched Felix with a quizzical expression. Eyebrows raised, his mouth set in a thin line, he didn't look angry or threatening. He wasn't even judging, which was shocking.

Felix should feel relieved. He should feel comfortable enough to tell Hyunjin that yes, he was good enough to be with you. That even if he hadn't paid attention to your crush back then, the way he felt about you now was different.

But Hyunjin's last words replayed over and over again in his head in the mere moments that he stood there.

Are you really good enough for my sister?

Was he good enough?

Felix had always thought of himself as the good guy in a sea of bad ones. He would hold the door for someone, no matter how long he had to awkwardly stand there waiting for them to walk through. He would always stand up when a lady walked into the room, no matter how old-fashioned that was. He liked cooking, and - to a lesser extent - cleaning. He hated the idea of casual dating or one night stands, and he would rather die than cheat.

But just because he was a good guy didn't mean that he was good enough for you.

You deserved someone who was shameless about their feelings towards you. Someone who would always fight for you, stand up for you, no matter the circumstances.

You deserved someone who wasn't scared all the time. Someone who was never scared. Right?

And that sure as hell wasn't him.

"You're right, I'm definitely not good enough for her," Felix heard himself saying. "She deserves someone much better than me. I-I mean, I didn't even have feelings for her before we came here. It's been years since I've seen her."

Now Hyunjin was frowning. "So you're saying that the rumors I heard were false? You're not interested in her? Or am I confused?"

"You're not confused. I couldn't..." Felix swallowed, trying to get the words out that he knew, even as he said them, weren't true. "I couldn't gain such strong feelings for someone in such a short amount of time. And... she deserves way better than me."

As he said the words, he wished he could take them back. His face was burning with shame. Why did Hyunjin's skepticism affect him so much? Was he filled with such self doubt that he would throw away your relationship over the silly words of an outsider? Hyunjin didn't know anything about your relationship. How strong it had become, over just a short week.

But still, he said nothing.

Hyunjin nodded, an almost imperceptible flash of disappointment shooting across his face. "I think you're right about that. Let's go back downstairs. The rest of the group might be coming back."

Felix followed Hyunjin to the door, his feet like deadweights. Maybe there was still a way to clean this up before it became bigger than it should. He would just talk to you, like he'd originally prepared, and tell you everything. Then, the two of you would go back and talk to Hyunjin. He felt braver when you were there with him. Yes, that's what he would do. None of this would matter.

But when Hyunjin opened the door, he saw the figure of a girl running down the stairs. He wanted to call out to her, ask what she'd just heard. But his mouth was glued shut in embarrassment. He hoped against hope that she wouldn't say a word. In fact, he hoped she hadn't anything.

But that girl, who'd just come out of her new boyfriend's bedroom after a flirty make-out session, had been sitting outside the door, listening to the entire thing.

And, like the good - albeit new - friend she was, she was going to tell you everything.

laska's note —
ahhhhh! this chapter was definitely filled with even more drama! who do you think was listening? it's probably pretty easy to guess if you read the chapter closely! there's really only two options! what do you think alaska is going to say when she finds out that felix didn't tell hyunjin? she's been so happy recently! will they stay together? will they break up? who knows! tell me all your thoughts I'm the comments!

question of the day —
what's your favorite genre of food? (chinese, mexican, thai, etc.)

my answer —
mine is chinese and japanese! absolutely obsessed with both, especially dim sum from china and soba from japan, both are so good!

𝖭𝖤𝖷𝖳 𝖴𝖯：
𝟮𝟵 - 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗰
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