ˏˋ°•*⁀ ➷ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗬-𝗦𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡
─◌✰್ 𝗆𝖺𝖼 𝗇' 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗌𝖾
𝗺𝗮𝗰 𝗻' 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲（𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻) /𝗺𝗮𝗰 ə𝗻 𝗖𝗛𝗲̄𝘇'/
❝𝖺 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝗁 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗈𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝖺𝖼𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗂 𝗉𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖺 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖾𝗌𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗎𝖼𝖾， 𝗆𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖽𝖽𝖺𝗋 𝗌𝖺𝗎𝖼𝖾．❞

Felix really should be a Michelin-star chef.

That was what you were thinking to yourself as you ate your third, and definitely not last, chicken pesto sandwich. The tender chicken breast mixed with the tangy pesto and tart sun-dried tomatoes was like a party in the mouth. Before you'd followed Felix outside, you thought you'd lost your appetite. But one whiff of the spread of sandwiches had caused your stomach to growl so loudly, you couldn't help yourself. If you could get Felix to make these for you for the rest of your life, you would. They had the potential to make you the happiest girl in the world.

If only you weren't so preoccupied by something else. Something even more important than chicken pesto sandwiches, if that was even possible.

Why didn't Felix want people to know that you were together? Of course, he hadn't actually asked you to be his girlfriend yet. But it had only been about a week since you'd expressed mutual feelings for each other! It was okay if he wasn't ready to be official yet, right? But was it too much to ask that he didn't jump when he heard footsteps down the hall, or pull away from you when someone entered the room?

You needed to talk to Felix about it, right now. Just get it off your chest and have a real conversation with him. You knew that honesty was the best policy when it came to relationships. And even though your family hadn't done the greatest job of instilling that in you, it could make or break what you had with Felix. Hyunjin, despite his flaws, had done a great job of teaching you what communication was in your parents' absence.

You just had to open your mouth and express your feelings. You were pretty good at that. You always made your opinions known. It really wasn't that hard.

"You have to give me the recipe for this sandwich!"

Damn, that's not what you'd meant to say. You silently cursed yourself. What the fuck was wrong with you? Apparently, not all opinions were created equal. It was certainly easier for you to voice your thoughts on the best sandwich toppings (obviously chicken and pesto, with mozzarella and basil being a close second) and your favorite drinks (Thai tea for the win) than telling your boyfriend (was he your boyfriend?) that he was making you feel insecure about your relationship.

Felix grinned, taking a huge bite out of his own sandwich with gusto. "Right?? Minho showed me this recipe, but I changed it for you. I know how much you like the pesto spread, so I doubled the amount."

You managed a smile. Clearly, he was oblivious to your inner turmoil. That awkward exchange you'd shared ad a few minutes ago must have flown right out of his head.

"Yeah, it's perfect," you agreed weakly, trying to take another bite. That nausea from before returned with a vengeance, and you set the sandwich down on your plate.

Felix sighed in contentment, taking a gulp of the orange juice that he'd brought outside for you to share. "It's a perfect day for a picnic, isnt it?" He smiled at you. And even with all the stress he was causing you, that smile still managed to force some of your frustration to dissolve. Some.

"It's really nice," you agreed. "I almost roasted alive out there earlier. Thank god for sunscreen."

Felix nodded in wordless agreement as he stared out at the ocean.

The two of you lapsed into silence, and you weren't sure how to fill it. You knew what you should say. But you didn't want to ruin Felix's bliss, his good day. You knew how much he hated conflict, and how easily stressed out he got. You remembered when Hyunjin and him got in the occasional argument back in middle and even high school, he would get so upset he would sulk for hours. You didn't want to see him like that, let alone be the one responsible.

The silence continued for so long, you just had to say something. Anything to destroy this terrible quiet that had descended upon you. You couldn't stay alone with your thoughts anymore.

"I've actually been designing something inspired by the sun," you blurted.

Nice, Alaska. You inwardly slapped yourself. The one thing you weren't ready to share with anyone.

Felix turned to look at you, curiosity lighting his gaze. "A house? What's it look like?"

You ducked your head. "Oh, no actually it's a... a dress."

He raised his eyebrows. "A dress? I didn't know you were a fashion designer too."

"I-I'm not," you stammered, feeling your cheeks heat up. "But... I don't know. I love clothes. And I might want to be."

Felix eyed you, not with judgment, but interest. "What about your interior design job? Don't you like doing that?"

You paused. You weren't sure what to say. Mainly because you weren't sure how you felt about it yourself, not yet. You loved interior design. You'd worked so hard to get where you were in your career, and you were proud of what you'd accomplished so far. But...

"When I style my friends, or when I create my own outfits, it makes me really happy. Probably the happiest I've ever been," you said all in a rush.

"More than interior designing?" Felix asked, placing a gentle hand on top of yours.

Before you could stop yourself, you found yourself nodding in agreement.

Was that really true? Did you really love fashion more than you loved interior design? The thing that you'd been striving for since you were in high school, and gotten the highest score on your dollhouse project, out of the entire grade? You'd fallen in love with creating a unique space for each individual person. You wanted to make people happy through their personal space. Interior design was your thing.

But was that the real reason why you'd gotten into interior design in the first place?

No, of course not. It had been Hyunjin. It was always Hyunjin.

He'd been the one to decide he loved design first. Your parents had been over-the-moon excited for him when he got into the design high school only a mile away from your house.

You'd wanted to make your parents just as happy. And it had worked, for a little while.

On top of that, it was a future that you could control. You could watch your brother, see what made him succeed, what made him fail, and follow his lead. It was safe, easy. Free of fear. Free of risk.

However, striking out on your own, doing your own thing, becoming a fashion designer, was scary, risky. You'd have no idea what would make you succeed or fail. It was uncontrollable. And that was your worst fear.

"I remember when we were young," Felix snapped you out of your thoughts, "and you were always trying to make outfits for your family. You even used your mom's sewing machine to make Hyunjin a vest out of old dishcloths. It was hideous, but you made him wear it all around the house. He pawned it off on me and pretended he lost it."

You weren't sure how to respond. You opened your mouth to say something, but all that came out was a weird, strangled giggle. You immediately quieted.

"All I'm saying is," Felix continued, "is that you've always loved fashion. I've seen it, and I didn't even live with you. And if that's what you want..." he trailed off, shrugging.

"I'm scared," you whispered quietly. You hoped Felix didn't hear.

He squeezed your hand, and you knew he did. You squeezed his hand back.

"It's up to you, Laska."

As you gazed at the man sitting next to you, an overwhelming sensation of something you couldn't describe came over you. Your heart simultaneously calmed down and sped up, your body going warm and fuzzy and hot and tingly. But for once, these strange feelings didn't make you want to crawl out of your skin. It was the total opposite.

For the first time since you could remember, you felt like you were right where you belonged.

It was that feeling that compelled you to speak.

"Are you scared of people finding out that we're together?"

Felix did a double-take. You'd never seen anyone actually do that before, but he did. His mouth opened and shut twice, his eyes fluttering like butterfly wings. It took him a solid ten seconds to regain his composure. You watched with a mix of fascination and anxiety. You'd never seen Felix lose his composure.

"I- Laska-" he stumbled over his words, his face reddening.

"I don't mean to be rude-" you started. You hated seeing him like this. You almost wished you hadn't brought it up at all. But you knew this relationship was worth it. He was worth it.

"No, you're not," Felix said firmly. "I just... you're right. I've been scared to tell my friends - and anybody, to be honest - that we're... together. I don't know why. It's just, I've never been with anyone before, let alone someone that I actually like. It's really scary. I don't want to mess up."

He ducked his head, but didn't let go of your hand.

You watched him, a bit of understanding beginning to seep through. "You're scared?"

He nodded vigorously, his hair bouncing up and down. "Of course. Relationships are scary, don't you think?"

"I-I haven't really thought about it," you admitted. "I've mostly been excited to be with you, honestly. But since the start, it's felt like you're... I don't know, embarrassed to be with me."

Felix shook his head so hard you thought it might dislocate from his neck. "No!" He exclaimed. "I-I could never be embarrassed of you. I'm just... it's scary. To give your heart to someone like this. I'm scared that I'll disappoint you. Maybe I'm not all you've thought I am. What if I hurt you?"

You squeezed his hand so hard he winced, before scooting over on the picnic blanket so you were right next to him. "That could never happen. You could never hurt me."

"You don't know that," Felix sighed, resting his head on your shoulder. Your heart melted even more. God, you were such a goner. "I'm not the perfect, nice guy that everyone makes me out to be. I mess up too."

"Of course you do," you slid an arm around his waist. "But if we continue to stay... together, then we'd work that out together too, right?"

"And Hyun's always breathing down my neck, as you know," Felix groaned, trying to hide his face in the crook of your neck. "I'm the worst best friend in the world. He trusts me, you know? I feel like I'm breaking that trust by being... with you."

"If it's too much for you right now, we could slow down," you said, your voice dying on the final word. It would hurt like hell to slow down whatever crazy summer romance this was, but if he needed it, you would let him. You knew how you felt about him. You had known since you first laid eyes on him. If he needed time to sort his own feelings out, or balance whatever relationship he had with Hyunjin, then you could wait. Not for long, but you could do it.

"No, no," Felix frowned. "Of course it's not too much for me. I want this! I want us! This isn't about Hyunjin." He grabbed your face, turning you to face him, his eyes blazing with a newfound passion.

You stared back at him, unable to look away. Was he about to do what you thought he was? Your heart started thudding so loudly you thought Felix must be able to hear.

"I want to be with you," Felix said softly. His hands were just the right size to cup both sides of your face. The tips of his fingers brushed your cheeks, and you felt like you might implode.

Just as you were about to open your mouth to respond, Felix leaned closer. So close, you could see the reflection of the sun in his eyes, that tiny ball of light coming nearer and nearer,  blinding you.

Closing your eyes, you leaned in too. This was something that you didn't need to be in control of. For once, you just wanted to fall.

His lips were soft and warm, just as you always imagined they would be. The slightest bit dry, with a hint of orange juice, but you didn't mind. This was better than you could have hoped.

The kiss started off tentative, Felix clearly unsure if this was what you wanted.

You placed your hands on top of his and pulled him even closer so your chests were practically touching, and deepened the kiss. You could feel Felix smiling against your lips. Was this actually happening? Was Felix really willing to risk his friendship with Hyunjin just to be with you?

Young Alaska wouldn't believe it if you told her she would be kissing her biggest crush, years down the line. 

While this wasn't your first kiss by any means, it felt like it could have been. You'd never kissed someone and felt as strongly as that before. It was beyond perfect.

"So... what does that make us?" You asked when you finally broke apart, not sure if you wanted the answer. Not sure if you should get your hopes up for something that might not happen. Even though that kiss was life-changing, Felix had been very, very honest about his fears over fucking up this relationship, and about your brother coming between the two of you. Could this really work?

Felix paused for a second, as if he was pondering something. Your breath caught in your throat, and you took a deep inhale, hoping he didn't hear that. What was he thinking about? If this was such a difficult question to answer, then maybe you should take a step back for awhile.

"C'mon," he said suddenly, jumping up, tugging your connected hands along with him.

"Where are we going??" You exclaimed, standing up anyway. Was he going crazy?

"You'll see, c'mon! Hurry!" Felix grinned widely at you. You tried to return the expression, but you were more concerned than excited.

Felix turned and all but ran back towards the beach house, leaving the picnic blanket and all the leftover food in the dust - or sand, rather. You tried to make a mental note to come back for that later, but as the two of you entered the house, your thoughts were still on Felix.

The rest of your friends were sitting around the tv, watching a show called Pretty Little Liars. How the girls had coerced the guys to sit through more than five minutes of that show, you had no clue. You'd have to ask them about that later.

"How am I supposed to keep up with all of these characters?" Seungmin complained, gesturing wildly.

"There's so many girls that I don't care about!" Han agreed, but his eyes were glued to the screen. You suspected he might watch the show more by himself, when none of the guys were there to tease him.

"I love a mystery," Minho said. "Especially when its paired with a lot of drama!"

"It's a little trashy, isn't it?" Chan asked, brows furrowed. But with one glare from Riley, he shut his mouth and didn't protest further.

"I think it's kind of fun," Jeongin added, and Changbin nodded from where he was, squished between Lanhua and Seungmin.

All of the girls were still wearing their swimsuits from earlier. Clearly, no one had bothered to get cleaned up. In fact, you were still wearing your lemon yellow bikini too, but you'd barely noticed, since you'd been so distracted by your conversation with Felix.

"Can we watch the next episode??" Mya bounced up and down in her seat. She and Jeongin were sharing one of the comfy chairs that was usually meant for one person. Jeongin didn't seem to mind the closeness, especially since the girl was still wearing her blush pink bikini, which was accented with tied bows on the hips and the middle of the chest. No man could object to that, especially not Jeongin.

"Yess, c'mon one more!" Robin yelled, nudging Han, who just grinned and shrugged as if he didn't care. Her swimsuit looked the most comfortable, as it was a black, long-sleeved zip-up wetsuit style number with connected shorts. It was giving surfer girl vibes.

"These next episodes are when the show really starts to get good," Riley agreed. "Laska, Mya and I binged the entire show in two weeks." With her practically sitting on top of Chan in her high-waisted black bikini, you knew he didn't really have a choice but to agree. The man was whipped, even if he couldn't admit it yet.

Tessa snatched the remote away from Minho so she could start the episode. He chuckled and shook his head, gazing at the girl with a mix of annoyance and endearment. You wondered if the two of them were able to sort out whatever conflict they were having earlier on the beach. You hoped so. They would make such a cute couple, if Tessa could get over her anger at him, and Minho could apologize for whatever the hell he did. Because he most definitely did something.

But before Tessa could hit the play button, Felix cleared his throat loudly. You'd never heard him make a noise like that. He probably didn't have something stuck in there, but it did kind of sound like he was choking.

"Everyone, I have a really important announcement!" Felix said. His deep voice reverberated around the room in a commanding way that you weren't used to. It was kind of hot.

All of your friends' heads rotated to face the two of you. Their expressions ranged from curious to teasing, and for once, you wished all the attention wasn't on you. What the hell was Felix thinking?

"I know you guys have been speculating about Laska and I," Felix began. At his words, your heart sped up. Was he doing what you thought he was going to do?

"And I just wanted to set the record straight, and let you know that we're -" Felix glanced around the room quickly, as if taking stock of howmany people were there. "We're dating. Alaska is my girlfriend. So uh, yeah, she's off-limits."

Changbin rolled his eyes at his friend. "C'mon Lix, we all knew that. She's been off-limits since like, the beginning of time."

Chan stood up and banged Felix on the back so hard, he stumbled forward a few feet.

"Good for you Lix, I'm proud of you," he said with a fatherly grin.

"I can't believe you finally did it!" Seungmin fake-gasped. "It took you long enough!"

All of Felix's friends swarmed around the two of you, patting him on the back and congratulating him, as if he'd won a sports championship or something. You scooted out of that crowd and over to talk with your friends, who were giving you triumphant stares.

But as you giggled and whispered to your friends about everything you had talked about during your picnic, you failed to realize that two very important people were notably absent from Felix's bold announcement.

And one of them could change the course of your and Felix's relationship if he found out what was said.

laska's note —
omgg this chapter was honestly so cute! i love writing felaska, they're so sweet even though they're always going through some shit lol. i think we all know what two people were absent from this announcement... what will happen when a certain someone finds out about alaska and felix? here's still so much more to come for alaska, felix and everyone else! get ready for a fun plot twist coming soon... ;)

question of the day —
do you collect photocards? if so, who do you collect/who else would you want to add to your collection? if you don't, who would you want to collect, if you did?

my answer —
i collect a lot of photocards! my main focus is on skz felix and minho, and itzy yeji. i also collect newjeans mjnji and twice nayeon! i used to collect nmixx jinni, and whenever she has a solo or group debut i will continue to collect her. i would love to start collecting lesserafim kazuha, or one day collect minho or changbin preorder benefits (bc i already collect felix), just because it would be fun! i spend way too much money on photocards, felix owns my wallet at this point. 🤡

𝖭𝖤𝖷𝖳 𝖴𝖯：
𝟮𝟴 - 𝗽𝗶𝗸𝗮𝗰𝗵𝘂
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