ˏˋ°•*⁀ ➷ 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗩𝗘
─◌✰್ 𝖿𝗂𝗋𝖾
𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲（𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻）/ˈ𝗳𝗶̄(ə)𝗿/
❝ 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖻𝗎𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗈𝗋 𝖻𝗎𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀， 𝗂𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗌𝗎𝖻𝗌𝗍𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗌 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖻𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖾𝗆𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗈𝗑𝗒𝗀𝖾𝗇 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗂𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗒𝗉𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗀𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍， 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗍， 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝗆𝗈𝗄𝖾．❞

My heart beating like a bird's wings
About to abandon all hope
Of a happily ever after.
I can't remember
What it feels like
To laugh
Has my heart been tugged from my chest?
Or simply frozen over?
And if its frozen over,
Will it ever thaw?

Felix bit down on the end of his pencil so hard the tip broke, shooting powdery lead into his mouth.

Spitting furiously and cursing his pencil chewing habit, Felix threw the ruined utensil onto the desk.

Scrubbing a hand across his freckled face, he shut his eyes for a minute, realizing how dry they were. He'd been staring at that stupid half-written song for the last forty-five minutes, and hadn't added anything. Well, anything good at least. There were furious scribble marks crossing out his feeble attempts at creativity and emotion, accompanied by a pound of eraser shavings. They lay there mocking him, calling him a failure.

He'd written this small snippet of a song at least three months ago, after he'd gotten drunk (a rare occurrence for him) and had started spiraling into a depression. When he woke the next morning, he found these words scrawled haphazardly on the back of a ramen noodle menu, accompanied by a skull-numbing headache. The menu had a coupon for half-off sake when you bought a bowl. Multiple times, he'd debated cutting up the shitty lyrics and actually using the coupon instead. He'd get more value out of that sake than the sorry excuse for a song.

But something had always stopped him from tearing it up or throwing it away, and no matter how much Felix wished he could just get rid of it, he physically couldn't do it.

With Lee Know taking a very long bath after dinner and the rest of the guys still playing Mario Kart, Felix was trying to use his minimal free time for good. Clearly, it wasn't working.

Glancing around the room for the first time since he'd excused himself from the spectacle of Seungmin running away with Chris's game controller, before tripping over Changbin's feet, Felix noticed how nice the space really was.

Two twin beds dressed with matching cloudy white duvets and sapphire blue pillows sat against the left wall. Pictures of tropical birds sat above each bed, with a huge mirror on the opposite wall, right next to the desk. Felix had claimed the desk as his own, and Minho agreed to share a bed with him. Hyunjin had already laid his interior design floor plans across his bed on the right, and Lee Know had a small orange and white cat plushie next to his pillow. The huge sliding door that doubled as a window opened out onto a balcony facing the ocean. Sapphire curtains in the same shade as the pillows adorned the door. Felix had shut them so he could concentrate fully on his writing. So much for that, he supposed.

Wiping his mouth to try and rid it of the remains of pencil lead, he decided he might as well get a drink of water to clean his mouth properly. And clear his head while he was at it.

Padding out of his room and down the stairs, he was immediately bombarded with unbridled chaos as Jeongin bowled into him at top speed.

"Sorry Felix!" Jeongin giggled, grabbing his shoulders quickly to make sure he was alright, before spinning away towards the living room.

Felix chuckled under his breath before heading to the kitchen, grabbing a glass cup with little oranges printed along the edges, and filling it to the brim with water.

Taking a long gulp, he mustered a smile at the icy deliciousness of the water, trying to let the stress of lack of productivity all evening roll off him. It's not the worst thing in the world, he reminded himself.

Well, maybe it wouldn't be so terrible if he'd managed to write literally anything over the past three fucking months.

Setting his glass down, he splashed some tap water on his face before gazing out at the ocean. He'd had a great time today, spending it with his friends out in the sun.

And you were there too.

He couldn't help grinning at the memory of you running at top speed across the sand, a huge, cheeky smile plastered across your face. And that bikini... Felix couldn't let himself dwell too long on that damn bikini. It was almost as if you knew wearing it would torture him.

Lavender was definitely your color. Actually, any color you wore would immediately become your color, he decided with fervor.

Tearing his mind away from choosing which colors you would look best in (he ultimately landed on pale yellow and sea-foam green), he continued reflecting on the day.

Changbin had met a new girl, someone named Lanhua. She seemed nice, extremely smart and insanely attractive. But she was as tall as he was, which intimidated him. Admittedly, he was pretty easily intimidated, but still. She was gorgeous in the fitness model way, which Felix happened to know was exactly Changbin's ideal type. And just as Felix had expected, Changbin had instantly been enamored with the girl, and invited her to play chicken with the rest of them.

Chicken had been a lot of fun. Despite Hyunjin pretending he didn't want to play, he'd gotten suspiciously serious when the game started, and became very upset when they'd lost. Hyunjin clearly enjoyed seeing you get along so naturally with his friends, especially because you'd actually willingly paired up with Minho. No one knew you guys even got along.

Felix brought the cup of water to his mouth again, but paused at the thought. His blood instantly heated to a simmer at the thought of you sitting on Minho's shoulders, laughing at a joke he'd told. He knew Minho could be funny, despite some people's belief that he was cold and distant. But was he really that funny? Why were you laughing so damn hard?

Just thinking about you with your head thrown back in a full belly laugh, dark hair, wavy and swept back from the ocean wind, cascading over your shoulders and down your back in a most mesmerizing way, caused a lump to lodge in his throat. He swallowed, trying to rid himself of the uncomfortable sensation, but it wouldn't go away.

Why did he care so much about you bonding with Minho anyway? It was good to know you were having fun. This was your vacation, after all. Besides, Minho was a great guy, and a great friend, despite being entirely different than Felix.

And Minho was very single.

Felix's entire body warmed despite the cold glass of water in his hand. Is that what this whole thing was about for him? Did he think you and Minho liked each other?

They did hit it off the entire day. A dark voice in the back of his head taunted him. And he's completely different than you. And he wouldn't care as much what Hyunjin thinks, because he's nothing like you.

Felix felt a chill shoot down his spine, a direct contrast to the blush on his face. If you had a crush on Minho, did that mean he had-

Just as Felix's mind was about to go down a very dangerous and forbidden path, his eye caught on something out the window, a few feet off the shore.

Was something... splashing?

Squinting his eyes so he could see better (it didn't help), Felix got so close to the window that his nose was practically pushed up against the glass. But nothing happened.

Felix was about to write it off as a trick of the light, or maybe a fish floundering on the shore trying to get past a break in the waves.

But then it happened again. Only this time, there was definite thrashing, and Felix could see bubbles surfacing.

For the entire day, the ocean had been tranquil - apparently this beach was known for its gentility - except for a few waves lapping up onto the shore. Something was definitely struggling out there.

You.

No sooner had your name flashed through his head that he was scrambling as fast as he could to get out the door.

Jamming the first pair of shoes he could find onto his feet, which happened to be Jeongin's black sneakers stacked by the staircase, he dashed out of the house and right onto the sandy beach.

Racing as fast as he could across the soft, deep sand and struggling not to trip and fall on his face, he made his way toward the splashes and thrashing, which were getting gradually smaller and smaller as he got near.

"Sq- Laska!" Felix called as loud as he could, but his voice could barely be heard over the crashing waves. "Alaska, please answer me!"

He finally reached the spot where he knew the bubbles had surfaced. The water was nothing but swirling waves, moving in a fashion that almost laughed at Felix as he stood in all his helplessness.

His eyes flicked across the water, searching frantically, when he finally saw you.

Nothing but a dark shadow nearly at the bottom of the water about three yards from the shore, he didn't give himself time to think. He dove, clothes, shoes, everything, on. Maybe not the smartest decision, but since when had Felix been known to make the smart decisions?

For a few seconds, he couldn't feel anything. Wow, the water's warmer than I thought it would be. Felix thought.

Then the icy sensation hit him with the force of a beluga whale. It was so cold, he was surprised the water hadn't frozen over at this point.

Alaska, I need to get Alaska. Felix tore his thoughts from the glacial water and forced his eyes open. He hadn't been one of those weird kids who opened their eyes underwater (because it had burned too badly), especially not in the salty depths of the ocean, but he had to, just this once.

He immediately began to feel that tell-tale burn in his retinas as he swam further and scanned the ocean floor. His vision blurry, he saw you, half sinking, half floating, about one foot from the surface of the water. You lay motionless, apparently unconscious.

Or so he hoped.

Grabbing you around the waist as gently as he could, he tugged you along as he swam to shore, kicking as hard as he could despite being weighed down by both his clothes and your body.

Finally, coughing and choking on the salty water, which tore at his throat and burned his pores, Felix collapsed onto the bank, dropping you next to him with a bit more force than he would have liked.

Although he felt like he was about to pass out himself, he dragged himself on hands and knees to your side, peeling your sand and salt-caked hair away from your face and gazing, panicked, into your eyes, which were just barely open.

"Laska, are you okay? Please wake up!" He shook you lightly, trying not to hurt you more than you already were.

You lay slumped on your side, sand-coated mouth half-parted, arms wrapped around yourself in an almost protective position. Your entire body was covered with red welts where the waves and pieces of ocean debris had lashed against you. The skin around your eyes were puffy and pink, and from what he could see of your eyes, they were red from sea water.

Felix was just contemplating pushing his feelings (of which he had none, he insisted to himself) aside to perform CPR, when you suddenly sat up, spewing mouthfuls of saltwater from your mouth.

Coughing and spluttering and clutching your chest, you continued to heave and spit until your stomach was emptied of everything you'd swallowed out at sea.

When you were finally done, you slowly turned to face Felix, eyes bloodshot and nearly swollen shut. His heart nearly dropped out of his chest at the sight of you looking so small, so hurt. Why hadn't he been able to protect you, keep you safe?

Wiping your mouth, you averted your eyes, and he could have sworn he saw you blush. It must have been all those marks on your cheeks. They were tricking his eyes.

"A-am I dead?" You asked shakily, wrapping your arms even tighter around yourself.

"No Laska," he said slowly. He felt a deep desire to wrap you up in his arms and never let you go, never let you out of his sight. "How are you feeling?"

"Did you save me?" You asked, ignoring his question.

Felix nodded. "But that's not important. We need to get you inside right now, you almost drowned."

You let out a hoarse sound, and he realized you were laughing.

"Thanks for letting me know," you said. "I had no idea."

Felix found himself rolling his eyes, but before he could respond, you passed out again, slumped against his legs. He scooped you up in his arms. You were incredibly easy to pick up, and he thanked Changbin for forcing him to lift weights at the gym before they left for Jeju.

Felix carried you inside and up to his room. He wasn't sure why he brought you there instead of your own room, but part of him thought you wouldn't be too happy with him getting your nice clean sheets soaked with saltwater, even if it was because of you. He chuckled at the thought as he placed you on Hyunjn's bed. Being your older brother, he'd just have to deal with it.

He pulled up the chair from his desk and sat next to the bed for less than a minute, when you woke up. Felix took a deep breath, just realizing what shallow inhalations he'd been taking since he first saw your body struggling in the water. You were okay, or at least you seemed to be. He tried to take deep breaths, but his lungs felt fragile and rattled as he did.

You tried to look around the room, but winced when you turned your head too far.

"Don't do that," Felix hurried to say, reaching out to touch your arm. He pulled away before he could make contact, not wanting to hurt you. And potentially not wanting to know how he would feel at the skin-to-skin touch.

You mustered a small smile. "You wanna know something?"

Felix shrugged. Anything to make you feel better, he supposed. "Yeah, sure."

You motioned with one finger to bring him closer, and he felt his cheeks warm, his heart tripping over itself. This was definitely a bad idea. He definitely should have just dropped you off in your own room, left, and forgot about tonight.

But despite his anxiety, he found himself scooting his chair closer to you and leaning close, so close. Dangerously close.

You moved another inch closer to his ear. He could feel your breath warm and tickly against his cheek as you whispered words that sent shivers down his neck.

"If I had died, at least I would be in control. I wouldn't be so scared anymore."

laska's note —
welllll.... yeah so that happened. i promise this fic is not as dark as the ending of this chapter and laska doesn't want to die, she's just scared. plus, this might be important to the plot. ;) the next chapter will be right back to being fun and we're about to start the crazy. let me know what you think might happen! i promise you won't know what's coming...

question of the day —
would you rather read a fic about one of the other skz boys (namely hyunjin, minho or changbin) set in the same universe as summer day, or a completely new universe? why?

my answer —
i have plot ideas for both options, but i have an skz royalty au i'm really excited about if you'd be interested 🤭

𝖭𝖤𝖷𝖳 𝖴𝖯：
𝟭𝟯 - 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆
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