jeongguk now knows what those last words meant.

the second taehyung had spoken them he had felt chills wrack his body with all the force of the greatest of tempests. but soon after, peace came to coat the places where silence meant pain and screaming meant nothing.

and so today he sits atop the hill, wings spread and his body swaying gently to the rhythm of his own humming. there are daisies woven into his locks and there is liquid gold running in his veins as he looks upon the moon as an old friend; one who once brought him the greatest gift he'd ever received.

he counts the stars littering the horizon and he starts at a million for all of those which taehyung had discovered in his eyes (although he's sure taehyung's the one who put them there). he isn't interrupted this time, and he counts up to forty five, because no excitement comes to compromise his concentration.

not even when there's the snap of a twig in the woods. not even when the breeze across his wings is reminiscent of the tap of a delicate hand, wondering if he's really a fallen angel or a demon from a nightmare.

not even when someone clears their throat behind him, and speaks the name 'jeongguk.'

wait.

the angel turns around with a deer-like stance, bewildered by the soft, mahogany eyes that find him there. they're warm, full of belief and wonder, just like the boy who's hair he'd braided countless times and lost himself in the galaxy of his mind. if he'd focused only on those, he could've kidded himself into believing the boy had returned to him, healthy and upright. no longer relying on jeongguk's strength to carry him up the hill.

but this isn't taehyung, although she resembles him. this is an older woman, with a gentle, saddened smile that makes jeongguk believe she might know a loss as great as his. the way her shoulders sag under only the weight of the clothing on her skin— it makes him think perhaps she might know all too well.

yes, this woman knows, of course. this must be his mother.

"so you do truly exist," she says first, focus never straying from jeongguk's guilty stare. he'd taken away the last person she'd had. "for years i've heard about you. from taehyung, my husband. he— my husband —he loved you, too. not like taehyung did. but your story, he'd loved it. so much talk of angels, i never understood it myself but... well, i suppose i was never as wonderous as they were. they're both at peace now, though, so perhaps i'm living proof that it's dangerous to chase your dreams."

jeongguk stands to match her height, his wings huge now. eye catching.

"i thought i was going to be a fairytale for him... i wanted to be that. i wanted to be that and so much more, but it turns out i'm a demon. i'm so sorry i took him from you. i never wanted to... to hurt him. he was... he was everything to me." he speaks, all apologies and the shame on his chest. but she's not fully listening to him, eyes drifting, much like taehyung's had, to his wings.

"he is everything to you, jeongguk. he lives on. don't you feel it? right now, you can't come to frown can you? because he's telling you to smile through every situation just as he would. he's still here, in these woods."

the warmest breeze courses gently through jeongguk's hair at that moment, wrapping him in its embrace, warming him up from the outside in, making a line straight for his heart to seal the cracks and make it a whole again.

"he never liked flying," she whispers, wistfully dragging her eyes over the form of the wings. "he wanted to be a pilot once, though." the memory seems fond, makes her smile, almost like it might be replaying behind her eyelids right this moment. "because the only way he'd get on a plane is if he knew for certain that the pilot was putting in as much effort to keep everybody afloat as the plane was. and my taehyung, he's kind. the most loving boy i've ever known. there'd never be a better pilot."

jeongguk listens carefully, crystals beading up in the corner of his eyes as though he might burst the dam any moment.

"what a beautiful use of a life," taehyung's mother whispers, reaching out to touch the wings that had swallowed her son's every thought. the words make jeongguk's heart tremble, like the lord had wrapped twine around it simply to play with it like a toy. "i don't think i've ever seen something so elegant. so magnificent. it's my taehyung. those wings, they're the perfect representation of who he is. safety, strength, and beauty."

never before has this situation made jeongguk feel anything other than the deepest regret. so heavy in his body that it makes his blood thicken. he could watch the stars fall from the sky like tiny daggers and cause that same blood to spill from wounds too tiny to heal, over and over, until all that's left is a tragic display of immortality used as a method of torture. but on this night, he sees things in a new light.

and how wonderous it is.

"i can see that you love him, jeongguk. and i know that he loves you, too. none of us expected this to be how it ended, but taehyung... he's always had... dreams. things he couldn't explain because he didn't know the words or the emotions yet. maybe this is one of them. a fairytale, jeongguk. it's true. i feel it as i stand beside you. you were, to him, a fairytale. an angel."

"but i feel like a nightmare," the angel weeps sullen tears of loss and of pain and of the memories of a poor village boy, trapped in a world drained of fantasy; looking for something, anything to take away from the pain of reality following his father's death and when he finally had it— happiness, writhing in the reach of his slender grasp, love in the moonlight, and a promise for something so great that he'd wait year upon year to hold it close —everything was ripped away from him.

and all the boy would do was smile, accept, and promise jeongguk that it would all be okay.

so that's what the angel does as taehyung's mother hands him the last daffodil from beneath the willow, a letter attached to it with a yellow ribbon and the feather he'd kept beneath his pillow; that which soon finds itself wound around jeongguk's wrist with the ribbon. and she bids him goodbye, pressing a gentle kiss to the boy's forehead as if to give him all of her forgiveness.

"taehyung would hate for you to think that way about yourself, jeongguk. if he believed you were a nightmare, i know my son, he would have woken up. he may be a dreamer, but he isn't a fool. you were worth the entire universe to him. he gave it all up, because he saw his chance in you. not a nightmare; a dream come true."

and once she finishes, she leaves him no time to argue, making her exit back through the trees to her small bungalow, empty in a way that's nearly peaceful.

the boy feels the weight of the world explode beyond the horizon, colours burning in his irises as he starts off the ledge of the hill, clutching the flower and the letter tighter than anything as his lungs expand and his wings spread and he flies.

he flies right up into the night, the emerald grass swaying in a dance he cares not for beneath him, because he's doing it. he's flying. on these perfect wings that taehyung had crafted with the love in his heart and the energy of his soul, he'd helped jeongguk to soar above the rest. a beautiful star amongst other's that don't feel so bright in comparison.

because taehyung was never the one being carried, he was always the one carrying jeongguk.

"if you can't carry me, love, i'll have to carry you."

and he does.

jeongguk finally feels the branches of the willow tree beneath his feet, sees the horizon stretch further into the distance than it had ever before, and he takes the single, fallen feather into his grip, rubbing it gently over his cheek and pressing it to his lips for just a moment, crying to the swollen eye of the moon as he dares to look upon the letter written to him with the last of the village boy's strength.

he's ready to see where this new skyline will take him. he's ready to follow the will of his wings, for he knows now to trust taehyung with his life; the boy is a dreamer, after all, woven of belief and good will. jeongguk? he'd be foolish to hesitate.

so he doesn't, he reads each word carefully, and makes it his own favourite fairytale; one he wishes to know off by heart, to live his life in the wake of.

and he'll do it. he will. because taehyung has given him everything. its high time he repays him with full trust.

here, jeongguk, is the true end to our fairytale. that which was written in our hearts even before the ink was spilled out over canvas and warped and manipulated and poisoned. here is the story that i hope will be passed on. of two lovers who weaved their own misfortune into something timelessly beautiful.

because we two— we transcend time and place, my love. alive in the memories of what we were and what we could be. no need is there for us to stand beside each other skin to skin when it was destined for us to end up here from the beginning. more than that, you should know that my last moments will be happy. drowning in thoughts of you and by the side of my mother. i've explained it all to her. the stolen nights, the soft kisses, the urge i feel in my heart to let what i love become my legacy.

you, jeongguk.

for years the love of your story has carried me, and now it is time for me to return the favour. to talk of the goings on here as nothing short of a liberating opportunity to thrive and move on. to behave in ways mankind has long forgotten.

we have lived to help the other grow into something that fulfils their purpose. we have taken the curse of the sun and made it into something enchanting. something worth more than the breaths lost and the tears spilled upon hollowed ground. we have thrown the embers of tomorrow into the sweltering heat behind us and it's time for us to chase another skyline.

so come, don't be sad, for if you make it so that my new purpose is carrying a sulken face, then i'll have an eternity to fly you into walls :)

you are not a parasite, my love. you were always an angel to me.

and we? we are mutualism, darling.

⠀
⠀
⠀
⠀
⠀

YO I JUST SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF THE COMPLETED BUTTON

this book is almost at 500 reads that's pretty cool !! i'm happy with how it turned out n i'm relieved i've finally finished something

thank you to anyone who read this ! hope it didn't hurt ur heart or something. i made milo cry with it so that's all i care about :)