lxxxiv. death and all its friends
6.24
set in first person/atlas pov

tw — read with caution
( death, shootings,
gun violence, blood,
offering of one's life. )

The storm was crashing against my world.

My legs had moved so quickly, someone would have thought I was running a marathon. I wasn't, but I was running towards my husband who had dropped to the floor.

There was blood leaking from his chest at a rapid pace. It's was polling underneath him and for a second, I thought that it might have been enough blood to coat someone from top to bottom.

Then I blinked. Maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe if I kept my eyes open and focused on my husband, I wouldn't have seen my father laying in a pool of his own blood with a weak heart filled smile.

"Derek. Der. Baby." I had forced the words out as I shook my husbands shoulders.

Eliza had reached us by now, Meredith and Christina standing near by as the tried to console April who was crying. El was placing pressure onto Derek's chest, trying to keep the blood inside but it was a weak attempt in trying to help.

"My love..." Derek whispered to me. I saw the tears falling from his eyes, tears were leaking from eyes too. Heck, tears were probably falling from everyones.

From the corner of my vision I saw Christina walk over, her eyes were wide as she looked from Derek's chest to my own stomach. "We need to leave."

I shook my head as the pain in my stomach increased. I could feel the blood moving again. "He's gonna die. We can't let him die." My attempt was quiet, then I looked towards Christina. "We gotta — we have to get him to an OR."

It was shortly after that, after my plead to take my husband to an OR, that April and Meredith had gotten a wheelchair and stretcher. Where they had found both would surprise me.

We all helped Derek onto the stretcher, and after that Christina had ordered that I sit in the wheelchair. I denied and first, but Christina threatened to shove me in the chair despite my leaking wound. I sat down right after that.

"You're bleeding." April pointed out as she looked towards my stomach. It was weird, I had managed to stay awake this long. Of course I drifted in and out of consciousness every little while.

I shifted in my seat as we neared the ORs. "I know."

Christina wheeled me into the OR as April and Eliza had already started to move Derek into the table. I saw that they were struggling, and with a groan I had lifted myself from the wheelchair and tried to help.

"Sit. Down." Meredith pointed at me just as my sister did so as well.

I couldn't sit though. My husband was lying on the table to be cut open and the only person who remotely knew what to do besides me, was Christina and Teddy.

But I had a gut feeling that Teddy wasn't here in the hospital anymore, maybe it was my gun shot wound telling me that.

Eliza and April stayed with me when Christina and Meredith left the operating room, they went looking for Teddy.

I was leaned over Derek, my face aligned with his as I told him everything would be okay. As I did so April gathered all the supplies she could that she could use to help with my own wound.

"It's gonna be okay." I told my husband as I sniffled.

Derek breathed out, "Kiss me."

And I did. I kissed him like it would be our last kiss, but also like it was our first.

When I pulled away, Derek closed his eyes but still whispered to me. "I'm not gonna die. I promise."

I believe him.

When Christina and Meredith returned, Jackson was in tow, not Teddy.

"Jackson?" I called out as my grip on the operating table loosened.

The man's eyes widened as he looked at me, as he took in my state. "Sunny?"

"April, hey April! How about you and El go next door and work on Atlas?" Christina was quick to tell them. She could see the way my face was starting to pale, and how my lips were turning red.

"Yea - yea." And with that, April and Eliza had helped me into the operating room next door.

You know, I trust Christina. I taught her so much, I believe that she could operate on anyone and have a high success rate. So maybe that's why I wasn't scared that she had told me she would operate on my husband.

Or maybe I was still in shock. It's a maybe for both.

╚═ ☆ ═╝

"Atlas, stay still!" April groaned as I tried to move once more. I was being inpatient as she sutured my bullet wound. It would need more attention maybe a check up soon, but since the bullet had gone through and through I was okay with just having a quick fix.

Of course it still hurt. But again, I was inpatient and wanted nothing more than to go to my husband. I wanted to hold his hand and run my fingers through his hair even though I knew he was asleep.

I stilled and looked towards the two people standing above myself. "April, Elly, please just hurry up so I can go be with him."

"Almost done, almost done." Eliza muttered as she watched her friend finish up suturing me. "Okay, we're done."

April and Eliza helped me up, and I leaned slightly on them as I wobbly got off of the operating table. My let's gave out and my hands reached for whoever was closest.

Eliza grabbed ahold of my first before April helped take some of the weight of my sister.

"Atly! Are you okay?!" Eliza asked me in a panic.

I nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I'm okay." With their help, I managed to make my way across the hall and towards the operating room everyone else was in.

I didn't notice it at first, but when I was met with the sight or Gary Clark holding a gun towards Christina, my feet seemed to move faster despite my wobble.

When the door opened, and a noise rung out, the shooter was quick to turn and point the gun towards me. Like before, only a mere hour or two ago, I would gladly take another bullet if it meant that no one else around me was shot.

I raised my hands as high as I could. "Woah! Woah!"

"Atly." I heard Christina cry, I heard her sniffle as she called out my name. "Atlas."

At Christina's words, the gunman moved his arm and placed the gun right beside her head. It would be a clean shot, and I would have to watch her die, everyone would have to watch her die.

"Me! No me!" I called out loudly and the man didn't bother looking as he continued to look at Christina.

"Stop fixing him. Let him die. Let him lie there and die." Christina didn't listen to Gary, and instead she continued to work on my husband. "Do you want me to shoot you? Stop fixing him!"

Christina yelped and I yelled out once more, I tried to draw his attention to me. My yell didn't help, and Christina continued to work. "N-no. Jackson, clamp the hilum so you can get control of the hemorrhage so I can get better visualization."

"Don't you dare." The shooter wasn't happy with what Christina had said, I could tell by his choice if words.

"Clam the hilum so I can see!"

"Hey!" I yelled out and took a step forward, the gunman turning towards me quickly. "That's - that's my Christina! And my Jackson! My Meredith too! You stop!"

"I said stay back!" Gary Clark commanded as he turned his whole body towards me, his gun pointing right at me once more. "I'll shoot you again. Then her and the rest of them. Then the man on the table. Is that what you want? I didn't come her for this, my wife is dead. He's responsible. I came here for justice, an eye for an eye."

"Shoot me." I didn't even realize that the plea had left my lips.

I saw Owen step into the operating room. Then I heard Christina sigh, "Atlas."

"You want justice, right? Lexie Grey, she pulled the plug on your wife; she's pretty much my little sister-in-law.  Richard Webber, your wife's doctor; he offered me a job her that changed my life, I own so much to him. The man on the table, he's my husband and the father of my child, the love of my life." I was a crying mess as I talked, but I continued anyways. "I know the story. Derek had told me, Lexie had told me, even Doctor Webber had told me. If you want to hurt them, the way that you had been hurt, just shoot me. I'm your eye for an eye."

Gary Clark walked closer to me, as if he was ready to shoot me again. I think I'm ready for it, but really I'm not. "Tell Derek that I love him okay? That I'm sorry."

Owen took the chance to charge at the shooter. Unfortunately for him, Gary had been quick and released a bullet into Owens shoulder.

Everyone screamed. I screamed and cried.

"I'm stopping. I'm stopping. See? I stopped." Christina had forced the words out, she looked between me and the shooter.

The screen started to flatline and when it did my knees collapsed and the tears rushed even harder. "No. No!"

╚═ ☆ ═╝

I had been taken to Seattle Pres where I had been looked over many times. They had given me an IV, medications, everything.

But nothing had fixed the ache in my heart. It wasn't one of those aches where somethings missing, but more of an ache that something is being pulled away from me yet it's still trying to hold on.

I like to think it was mine and Derek's love. He was holding on, still in intubated by a tube because he couldn't breath by himself.

"I love you." I said quietly to my unconscious husband and I held his hand. There wasn't anything left for me to do but wait for him to wake up. I know he'll wake up. It's Derek Shepherd I'm taking about.

The storm has passed. I'm forever glad. My brother, my sister, my daughter, my family are all okay.

My mother is too. Of course she wouldn't leave my side since she was called. The only reason she's gone now is because she's using the washroom, but no doubt she'll be back soon.

That's okay though. Because I don't wanna be alone. I'm scared. Scared of everything, of even closing my eyes to blink.

But again, that's all okay because the storm has passed.

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here's chapter eighty four. again, please take a breath. i had to take many well writing this. hope everyone is well.

do you like atlas pov? i kinda do but i thought it would be cool to write it like this. it'll go back to normal now. we're on to the next part of act three! season seven.