─── december 29, 2017
❝ i can't really bring myself
to care when all i've been able
to think about lately is you. ❞

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  TODAY WAS THE LAST SHOW Hyerin and Namjoon would be hosting for Music Bank as the temporary MC's, and although Hyerin had felt that the task was going to be a bore, she was actually glad that she had gotten paired up to do it with Namjoon out of all idols.

It had only been a couple of days of practicing their scripts and running the live shows, but it turned out to be more fun than she had expected (which was also saying something as she hadn't expected much from it).

She wasn't really expecting them to get along so well (or at all, because dating rumors could be crucial and career-threatening), but ever since they had exchanged numbers the first day they met, they had been texting non-stop — whether or not it was related to Music Bank.

They got to know one another a bit more and conversation had flown easily between them, whether it was about their experiences in the States, their interests or hobbies, or their passion for music. They talked about almost anything and everything to the point where they had to dial it down with their interactions on camera so that the media wouldn't say they had too much chemistry or stir something up.

They looked forward to meeting up with one another to rehearse or run shows, or even having bumped and pass each other during award shows from this year, and they both felt a twinge of disappointment that it had already come to an end so soon (even though they both knew that this MC thing was only going to be for a month).

But through all of those fun moments, Hyerin could always hear an annoying voice in the back of her head that sounded just like one of her dearest, but most overbearing, manager, Haru.

"You're starting to get more international attention, Hyerin," Haru had said, "You can't steer us off the direction we're headed towards with a dating scandal."

Hyerin remembers all the times her manager had given her pointed and cautious looks whenever her and Namjoon were together, and how he reprimanded her whenever a moment of them being 'too close' or having 'too much chemistry' would peak on the internet.

She loves Haru - she really does. She appreciates everything he's done and continues to do for her as she knows that managing her (personality wise and fame wise) can get stressful.

But sometimes he could be a pain in the ass.

It wasn't as if she actually liked Namjoon, though. She just looked forward to spending time with him and thought he was sweet.

And funny (his share of stories about his members always made her cackle).

And nerdy (in both a cute and sexy way).

And good-looking (god, that smile always made her melt inside a little).

Pretty much an all-rounder in her eyes.

But still. She didn't know why Haru was getting on her so much.

She knows that with this career, there are many small things that can easily break it. And, sure, Hyerin knows she can get stubborn sometimes, but after winning 5 awards in one whole award show? After the Korean netizens and media had said that her fame wouldn't last or go anywhere? Yeah, the one thing she wouldn't do is ruin her career after she's worked so hard to get to where she is.

Hyerin lets out a sigh, walking out of her dressing room to make her way to the main stage to meet up with Namjoon to do the last show. Haru wasn't with her today, but another one of the assistant managers had tagged along, and she was pretty sure that Haru had warned him to keep a close eye on her.

As she approached the stage where they did the live shows, her eyes began unconsciously scanning for Namjoon, flickering to every part of the room to find the almost 6 foot something man.

"Hyerin?"

Said girl whips around at the sound of her name, face contorting into a smile at the sight of the exact person she was looking for. But at the realization that her smile made its way onto her face too quickly, she immediately drops it, forcing a more neutral expression.

"Hi," Hyerin greets him, bowing for the sake of the cameras and staff around them as her eyes flicker to them, "You ready for our last show?"

Namjoon nods solemnly, "Sort of? I didn't expect to have this much fun being an MC, so it feels kind of...bittersweet, in a way."

She hums in agreement, a beat of silence passing as they look around the stage where the staff run around to get things ready for their show.

"So—"

"Do you—"

They both look at each other in surprise before laughing shyly, heat blooming on their faces.

"Sorry, you go first," Namjoon says, motioning for her to speak with a warm smile.

But just as Hyerin opens her mouth to do so, Namjoon's manager comes up to them, "2 minutes until we're live! We need you two to get to the stage to start getting ready!"

Disappointment slightly fills their faces as they turn to one another.

"We'll talk after," Hyerin articulates, shrugging her shoulders and giving him a promising smile.

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   The show goes by smoothly with Hyerin and Namjoon reliving through some of the moments they had as the show's hosts in between the introductions of groups and soloists, all before bidding their goodbyes to the viewers.

The staff cheer and applaud for them as soon as the segment ends and the cameras are off, both of them bowing their thanks to the staff.

They exchange a glance, wanting to say something to each other  but not knowing if it would be the right moment to do so, or just right to do it at all.

Namjoon is the first one to open his mouth, but Hyerin's manager calls her name, waving her over before he even has the chance to say anything (though he didn't really know what he was going to say).

Hyerin turns to look at him hesitantly, though there's hints of annoyance on her face, "I'll see you soon, I guess?"

He nods, slightly disappointed, knowing that that was probably going to be the last they see each other for a while since award shows had already passed, "Yeah, maybe we'll cross each other during a comeback," He says, still hopeful.

She smiles bashfully, muttering a small and quiet 'bye,' before bowing for the sake of the cameras again and walking over to join her manager who impatiently waits for her.

She lets out a sigh, already getting annoyed at how her manager immediately starts ranting about her schedule for the rest of the day: interviews and practices and lessons. Opting on staying quiet, Hyerin simply allows her makeup artists to touch up her makeup before heading out, though she knows she'll probably get scolded when she gets back to the company buildings regardless.

As she sits in the vanity chair, Hyerin recalls one of the moments she shared with Namjoon, somewhere right after the Melon Music Awards of this year.

They had met up to practice for their second show together, and as soon as they got settled in, Namjoon had congratulated her over the several awards Hyerin had received that night.

"5 awards!" Namjoon exclaims, "I remember how I felt when my group won 'Album of the Year' for last year, but I can't imagine how you felt!"

Hyerin shook her head, smiling, "I cried every time I went back to my dressing room, on the ride back home to my apartment, and even throughout the night. I just couldn't believe it."

A glint of awe flashes through Namjoon's eyes, "It feels nice, though, doesn't it?"

Hyerin's smile drops the slightest bit, "What does?"

He shrugs, "Proving everyone wrong. I mean, I don't know what it was like for you with your company or pre-debut, but for my group we started with nothing. Because of that, everyone doubted us," His voice shakes slightly and he quickly drops his gaze to the ground where they were seated at, "And to win that award after so much hate and doubt from the media..." He looks back at her, "It felt amazing. Like we were at the top of the world."

Hyerin is quiet for a second.

She didn't really have that many friends in the industry that understood what it was like to be a trainee and idol under a small, broke company no one paid attention to, but Namjoon explained it the same way she felt that night...

...Perfectly.

"I know what you mean," Hyerin nods, "That's exactly how it was for me. It still is like that, sometimes," She smiles sadly, "Especially since the CEO of my company is a woman, and her previous groups never worked out, there was a lot of pressure on me to do well with what I had, since almost everything that was left of the company was used towards my debut. And even though I worked so hard to prove myself, people still doubted me constantly,"

Namjoon listens intently, everything she was saying bringing back memories of his and his members' trainee days.

"But that feeling I felt that day — after hearing my name get called after winning my first award of that night —"

As Hyerin pauses, looking up as she recalls how her heart dropped when she won, Namjoon studies her expression.

Her face was contorted into an expression of disbelief, like she still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she won, not just one, but five awards that night despite it happening weeks ago. He could see the passion and love in her eyes, like the hard work had finally paid of after going through so much. But he could tell what she was feeling, because he knew it himself all too well: the drive to just keep going to keep feeling like you were on top of the world and prove everyone wrong.

When Hyerin looked back at him, their eyes locked. And usually when they did for too long, one of them would get shy and break the eye contact. But the tension that they were feeling from their perspective experiences somehow felt like they had collided, and neither one of them looked away.

"...I want to feel that way forever." Hyerin said, eyes trained on him.

Namjoon doesn't look away either, but nods, "So do I."

Hyerin's train of thought is interrupted as her makeup artist tap her on the shoulder to let her know that she was all good to get going. She quickly stands up when she sees that everyone was waiting on her, thanking her artist before collecting her things.

They're exiting the dressing room when Hyerin notices a familiar figure standing near the end of the opposite side of the hallway, near the restroom.

Her eyes widen when she sees Namjoon hesitantly stand behind the wall, as if he were trying to hide. When he catches her gaze on him, he quickly acts and motions for her to walk over to him with his hand, though he remains slightly 'hidden.'

Hyerin quickly turns back to her manager, "Can I go use the restroom before we leave? The company building is far from here and I don't think I could... hold it for that long." She slaps herself mentally for that weak excuse.

Her manager, Jinsu, sighs, "Just make it quick. We'll be waiting for you outside the entrance we came in through."

Damn, she really had to talk to her CEO about getting new management for herself.

She nods, nonetheless, quickly giving her things to her makeup artist for her to hold before sprinting to the restroom as subtly as she can. She makes her way to the restroom doors, but as soon as her staff has cleared the hallway, she turns to the passageway where Namjoon was at. As she makes the turn, she immediately comes face to face with the tall, copper-haired male, bumping right into his chest.

Namjoon's hands shoot out towards her hips as she loses her balance after clashing, letting out a breathy chuckle as he steadies her.

Hyerin looks up at him with wide eyes, her heart skipping a beat when he smiles that cute, bashful smile.

"Hi," He greets, his voice low.

"Hi," She replies, almost breathlessly, "Sorry I had to leave right away, my manager is an impatient asshole."

He laughs, making her smile, "It's okay, I understand."

Hyerin looks down to where his hands were still resting at her hips, making Namjoon follow her gaze and immediately pull his hands away, resulting in Hyerin losing the slight warmth they had brought.

"Sorry!" He hides his hands behind his back, a blush forming on his cheeks.

She laughs softly, shaking her head. A beat of silence passes between them before asking, "So, did you need something?"

If it was possible for Namjoon's cheeks to get even redder, they did, "Uh, yeah," He clears his throat, "I wasn't really expecting much when I was told I was going to be a host for Music Bank. I thought it was just going to be something to entertain the fans and the media, and that it wouldn't rally mean much."

Hyerin chuckles, knowing exactly what he meant.

"But I also didn't expect to get so close to you and have this much fun while working with you. I know it was only one month that we spent together, but I had a lot of fun," He says, looking down at his hands as he fiddles with his fingers, "And I'm not really the type to do this, because I know how easy it is to have the simplest of things get turned into a mess. But... I can't really bring myself to care when all I've been able to think about lately is you."

Hyerin freezes in her spot, her hammering heart suddenly coming to a stop at his words.

She remembers how she felt that day when they were talking about feeling like they were on top of the world every time they proved people wrong, and how she had taken comfort in the fact that she finally found someone who was able to relate to.

How she realized that Namjoon was equally as passionate for his music and how down to earth he was. How, every time they strayed away from practicing their scripts and began talking about random things, he would always listen to her intently, like no one else had done before. Or how her heart would always hammer in her ribcage whenever they would pass by each other during this year's award show.

She doesn't say anything for almost a minute, but it's only when she sees disappointment begin to fall onto Namjoon's expression that she sucks in a breath and says, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, either."

He looks down at her, surprised.

The girl shrugs, "I know it was only a month that we spent doing this together, but this was probably the most fun I've had in a long while," She admits.

That sounded really sad, she thinks to herself.

"I don't know how I could have felt like this about you so quickly, but I just did. All times we would get distracted with just talking meant a lot to me."

He smiles at her confession, getting shy, "I'm, um-I'm glad to hear that, really. I feel the same way." He meets her gaze and they share a small, shy laugh, "I don't want to leave things here, and I know that it might be hard to go out if we want to keep seeing each other, but I'd still like to try and take you out on a date. To get to know each other a bit more."

Hyerin is crying inside at this point. She's mentally jumping around and bouncing off the walls and it feels as though her heart was about to explode.

She smiles widely, nodding, "I'd like that. A lot."
If it was possible, their smiles got even wider, the ends of their mouth reaching the corners of their eyes.

"Great," Namjoon states, trying to control his happiness, "I'll text you soon, then?"

She nods happily, "I'll be waiting,"

He grins, "Okay. I'll see you soon,"

At that, Namjoon walks away, rounding the hallway and walking back to his dressing room.

Hyerin waits a couple of seconds before she does the same, making her way out of the building as she tries to contain her excitement and happiness.

Once again, she can hear Haru's words echo in the back of her head, but something about Namjoon and the possibility of meeting up to go on a date and get to know one another better has her drowning the sound right out.

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notes
*re-edited*
so i didn't really fix that much from this chapter, only that i wanted to go a little bit more in depth with how hyejoon slowly started developing feelings for each other, hence why this re edited chapter is a whole lot longer LMAO

but anyways i hope you all enjoyed ! i'm trying to get some more content based on just hyerin first so we can get a look into what she's like since i've only posted hyejoon content so far, so i'll try my best to have whatever i can come up with up soon !