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— DAY SEVEN —
season one, episode five, part two

❝𝐢'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐢 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞...❞

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Retracing her steps, Blaire marked the path to the waterfall, painting a red 'X' onto the one of the many trees bedecking the forest towards the clearing. Her pupils had dilated since she swallowed the pills, the hollow look in her eyes accompanied by the small, almost invisible, spasms her muscles gave out. She walked a bit deeper into the forest before distant shouts alerted her, even through the disorientation of her drug-infused high.

"Blaire! BLAIRE!"

"FATIN! Where are you?"

"Blaire! Fatin! BLAIRE! FATIN!"

And before she had even processed the faces that matched the voices, Blaire stumbled upon Leah, who lead the others, and raised her hands in welcome.

"Hey-oh!" Blaire exclaimed in slurred speech, wrinkling her nose towards the group of girls; Leah, Toni, Shelby, Dot, Martha, and Rachel all looked up towards the voice responding gleefully to their calls.

"Blaire!" Shelby scrambled down the incline to where the New Yorker was and advanced towards her with speed, only to clasp Blaire in her arms under the watchful eyes of the others, trying to decipher if the dancer was real after hours of hopeless searching.

"Texas, hey! What's up?" Blaire giggled softly, looking as if she had no general perception of the fact that her and Fatin had been missing for almost twenty-four hours. She pulled out of Shelby's embrace, a look of confusion etching across her features at the sight of the vast amount of mud caked on their clothes. "What the hell happened to you?"

Dot and the others joined the two of them on levelled ground, "What's up is that we thought you were dead —"

"Blaire..." a voice cut across the mass hysteria, and Blaire turned immediately, her face paling at the sound of her name.

The way Toni breathed her name, in a tone akin to relief, seemed to triumph over everything else, and Blaire's heart hammered in her chest as the two of them locked eyes for the first time since their fight on the beach. Blaire opened her mouth, and nothing came out. There was apprehension in her eyes, and she found herself impulsively stepping back as Toni tried to move closer to examine the cut on her forehead, an endearingly awkward grin on her face.

"We, uh," Toni shifted uncomfortably on her feet at this, obviously nervous, and Blaire was struck by the sudden urge to hug her, to touch her, "we were all pretty worried that something happened to you."

"I'm fine," Blaire sounded fragile, heartbroken even, but just as brave as she was on the plane, all those days ago. "I'm just the most accident-prone person on this island, and somehow managed to hit my head —"

"Is that nail polish?" Rachel interrupted and pointed an index finger at the bottle in Blaire's hands, her tone inflected with subtle disbelief. "Is that what you've been doing, painting your fucking gel-tips?"

"We've been out of our skulls looking for you and Fatin," Dot said primly, leaning that statement with more regard towards Toni, who physically relaxed once it was revealed that the New Yorker was alive.

"And all this time they've been treating themselves to some goddamn mani-pedis," Rachel added harshly, dropping a hand onto her hip, her eyebrows raised with perplexity.

"Rachel, you do realize jumping to conclusions doesn't count as exercise, right?" Blaire retorted with a sarcastic grin, her dark eyes flitting between each of the girls as she unscrewed the bottle of nail polish once more. "Now, before you start accusing me of shit, would you just follow me? Because we have something to show you."

"We?" Leah repeated, not even trying to hide the urgency in her voice regarding her schoolmate. "You mean Fatin's here, too?"

"Well, obviously," Blaire replied as she painted a final 'X' on the nearest tree, the others watching her with sheer curiosity. "God forbid I let her out of my sight for more than five minutes," she laughed, leading the group of castaways back the way she came, and every couple of steps, they found another 'X' or a piece of Fatin's purple sweatpants tied to the trunk of a tree.

The trek back to the waterfall was quiet, each of the girls driven by the sudden interest as to where Blaire was leading them. Toni walked a few paces behind the dancer, trying to find the right words to engage in conversation, noticing how Blaire slipped and stumbled on tree-roots coming out of the ground. Then, when Blaire eventually slowed her pace, she came to a halt on the rocks overlooking the waterfall and motioned for the others to look at what existed in front of them. Wide-eyed, the six of them marvelled at the beautiful sight, mumbling words of celebration after having finally found fresh water to help them survive against the threat of dehydration.

"How did you — Blaire?" Dot breathed aloud in disbelief, and the others were no longer able to keep their celebratory acclamations confined to whispers.

"Must've gotten lucky, I guess? And it's about damn time, honestly," Blaire replied with a shrug, celebrating with the others for a moment before her eyes latched onto Fatin, who had been sitting on the rocks near the waters edge. "Hey Jadmani!" She cupped her mouth to allow her voice to travel further, "Look who I found!"

Fatin tore her eyes from the New Yorker's sweater and curled her lips into a smile at the sight of the others. "Welcome to my humble abode, bitches!" She yelled back, shifting on the rocks so she could cross her legs. "Make yourselves at home!"

Eager to rid themselves of the dried quicksand caked on their clothes, the six teenagers wasted no time in clambering down the rocks to get to the waters edge and plunging into the water. Blaire followed after them, laughing at their enthusiasm before she took a seat on the rocks next to Fatin, leaning her head on the Pakistani-American's shoulder endearingly.

"Hey, you okay?" Fatin asked her in a serious voice, the one she only ever used when she was completely genuine. The others were too preoccupied enjoying the privilege of fresh water, and Fatin thought it was as good of a time as any to question the New Yorker.

Blaire looked up at her with hollow eyes, biting at her fingernails anxiously. "Of course," she replied shortly, "why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, just thought I'd ask," Fatin's suspicious frown was wiped away with an unbelieving smile, shrugging her shoulders. "But you'd, like, tell me if something was going on with you, right?"

"If this is your way of asking about Toni, you should know you have all the subtly of a hand-grenade," Blaire let an undignified giggle escape her lips. "But, honestly, I think I'm okay." She nudged Fatin's shoulder, oblivious to the real reason for the question. "Don't worry, if I need to talk, you'll be the first one to know."

And before Fatin could even begin to probe further, the girls in the water had inched closer to engage in conversation. Blaire's eyes impulsively met Toni's again as the basketball player swam closer to the edge, and she had to force herself to rest her head back on Fatin's shoulder, avoiding eye-contact at all costs.

"Is this what you guys went looking for? The water, I mean," Leah wondered, her erratic thoughts calmed.

"I don't know," Fatin shrugged from where her and Blaire sat on the rocks, watching as the others frolicked in the shallow water. "We were just trying to find something useful."

"Good hustle," Dot commended them, "marking the path like you did."

Blaire squinted her eyes against the setting sun and nodded, "That was entirely Fatin's idea."

"Yeah, well, what good would the water have done us if we couldn't find it again? Plus you're the fucking broken record about how easy it is to get lost," Fatin teased the redhead, drawing her legs to her chest.

"Yeah, and you know what?" Dot laughed as she leaned back to float on the surface of the water. "I've never been prouder!"

"Aw, I love being mom's favourite," Blaire smiled and sent a wink towards the redhead, making her laugh harder as she floated against the current. She stood after the conversation came to its conclusion and moved closer to the waterfall, dipping her legs in the water, listening to the waves crash against the rocks while the others basked in the sunlight and relaxed.

Shelby and Martha were splashing at each other in the water, and Toni distanced herself from them, unable to tear her rueful eyes away from the interaction. Rachel paddled slowly in the water, her home away from home, and Leah and Dot conversed with Fatin on the rocks near the waters edge.

Blaire, on the other hand, had indulged too much already and wanted to keep to herself, inhaling deeply so her senses flooded with the intoxicating effects of the Oxycodone, quelling the desperate and raw hunger eating her alive. She played with the rings on her fingers, thinking how nice and effortless it was to feel invincible and not so grounded to her reality, like nothing could penetrate the happy bubble she was in.

But, like most things in her life, Blaire's blissful moment of serenity was short-lived as she heard the ripple of the water, the crunch of gravel. She looked up to identify the person behind the sound, and even the sight made her shoulders tense immediately.

Of course.

Toni was swimming across the lake, towards the waterfall, as far away from Martha and Shelby as she could be. She hadn't noticed Blaire at first, for the dancer had been obscured by an ginormous rock, but once she got close enough that she paused and started fumbling to pull herself onto the shore, her eyes landed on Blaire's figure, still hunched by the waters edge, and she froze as she sat on a rock near her, creating some — as once requested — distance.

For a very long moment, they both just watched each other, almost like a pair of deer caught in headlights.

"...Hey," Toni said, finally.

"Hi," Blaire responded, and her voice cracked embarrassingly. She cleared her throat, a little awkwardly, and asked, "What are you doing?"

Toni hesitated a moment, like she hadn't expected Blaire to pursue a conversation. She motioned towards the sky, and her smile was uncomfortable, yet gentle. "I'm, uh... just here to get some sun." She relaxed her shoulders. "Pay my fucking respect to Mother Nature, and all that superstitious bullshit."

"Probably a good idea," Blaire looked ahead of herself, at a tree across the lake, avoiding Toni's wandering eyes. "Photosynthesis should help you grow an inch or two."

"Okay, sure, I guess I deserved that," Toni's jaw ticked, and she shrugged her shoulders again, trying to sound indifferent. "But before you say anything else, you should know that I was, uh... kinda worried about you today. You scared the shit out of me, disappearing the way you did. And I know it's stupid, but I just kept thinking about, like, what I'd do if something were to have happened —"

"Toni, what're you doing?"

Toni continued to stare at the dancer for a moment, like she was trying to decipher something in her face, and Blaire staunchly avoided her gaze, continuing to play with the rings on her fingers. She looked beautiful, Toni thought distantly, her dark brown curls like a halo atop her head. But she also looked defiant, too, and a little heartbroken.

Eventually, Toni gulped, "I just told you —"

"No," Blaire cut in, voice rough, "I mean, what do you think you're doing?" She exhaled shakily. "Because I thought I made myself perfectly clear yesterday about us staying away from each other, and yet here you are, trying to spark a conversation like nothing happened."

"That's not — I'm not, I swear!" There was a long pause, and Toni held her breath, a lump forming in her throat. "I mean, I just — fuck, I don't what I'm doing, okay?" She confessed, a moment later. "Maybe I just thought there was a chance we could talk —"

"What's there to talk about, exactly?" Blaire replied, frustrated, her face pale under the setting sun. "Talking doesn't just magically fix everything, you get that, right?" She heaved a sigh, "God, I fucking wish everyone would stop pretending it does."

Toni swallowed hard, "So there's not even the slightest chance that we could start over, that we could forget what happened? Please Blaire, I know we haven't known each other all that long, but, shit, time doesn't really mean much in this hellhole, so... I'm just trying to fix whatever this is."

Something slithered in the depths of Blaire's chest, something cold and viscous and unpleasant. Then, unexpectedly, she started laughing. "Goddamnit Toni, don't you think I've heard all of this shit before? It's always the same! Fresh starts, second chances — let's start over, it will be different this time..." She shook her head in disbelief, disorientation clouding her judgement. "You sound exactly like him, you know? And that's what scares me. Like, you're so fucking set on acting like the past never happened, but you'll make the same damn mistake over and over again."

Toni grew rigid under her gaze, and for a brief moment, Blaire feared her words might've cut too deep, but then, just as quickly, the basketball player exhaled a deep breath, "I'm sorry, Blaire... I don't really know how else to say it."

"What about how you show it?" Blaire felt her jaw clench, a lifetime's worth of anger bubbling inside her. "Look, I'm not doing this with you, okay? I don't need another relationship where I never know what to expect, where it's never on my terms, where I never know if it's going to end or not! So that thing, where you fuck with my head, and make me question whatever the fuck it is that I think that I want..." She trailed off for a moment, realizing that the drugs in her system were acting as an impromptu truth serum. "It's got to stop now — for good. And that's exactly why I need to stay as far away from you as possible."

And for the first time since Toni had sat down, Blaire turned and looked into her eyes, an unexpected pain hidden in the depths of her gaze. The sun was setting, and the sky above them turned pink, the clouds purple. Toni frowned unintentionally, committing to the request. Her pulse pounded erratically at her throat, and the harsh mid-summer heat baked the back of her neck. Even beads of sweat trickled down her back, the anticipation making her hands tremble.

Then, with an indignant huff, Toni stood. "Fine, whatever," she mumbled, and, with her heart beating fast, her palms sweaty from trepidation, she shoved her hands into the pockets of her shorts and looked down at Blaire. "If that's what you want, then —"

"But it's not, and that's the problem," Blaire choked out without hesitation, knowing that this was her chance. She had to say it out loud; the truth of her feelings, but fear — gluey and stodgy — clogged her throat and she couldn't get the words out before Toni spoke first.

"You can't say shit like that." The basketball player said in a small voice, blinking the sleep from her eyes, gazing at Blaire with a softened expression. Toni cleared her throat and exhaled, "It's not fucking fair."

"That's not fair?" Blaire let out a vicious laugh."Here's a newsflash for you: life's not fucking fair! My mom literally abandoned my entire family without a word of warning, and my dad's a borderline alcoholic because of it. Not to mention, my ex-fucking-boyfriend, who you happen to share such eerily similar anger issues with, by the way, is an abusive piece of shit that I've had to deal with for years." The anger pulsed in her veins, igniting a fire in her eyes, "But you're right, Toni, it's definitely not fair that I need to stay away from people like you for the sake of my fucking sanity!" She snapped, a relieved sigh escaping her lips, like she'd waited her entire life to let it out.

But Toni didn't acquiesce, didn't offer Blaire what she wanted — blame, and then absolution from her past. Instead, the basketball player stood in silence for a moment, unmoving, deep in her thoughts, and chilled to the bone. She was astonished, and touched, by the display of vulnerability, by Blaire openly discussing her past trauma with her. Unlike Toni, whose feelings tended to pour out of her no matter what, Blaire usually kept everything close to the chest.

The moment felt important, and Toni savoured it until, obviously misinterpreting her lack of response, Blaire got up, defensive, and stood chest-to-chest with her.

"So no matter how much we both wish yesterday didn't happen, it fucking did," Blaire confessed under her breath, miserable. The words should've been reassuring, but somehow, they were anything but. She raised her head and met Toni's eyes again. The worry in them was overwhelming, irritating in its sincerity, and no, Blaire wanted to say, you have no right. "Don't," she grunted instead, brusquely, a warning. "I swear to God, Toni... j-just don't."

Toni tensed, just staring in Blaire's direction, and there was suddenly something dangerously bitter in the downward curve of her mouth. Again, there was silence. But it was different than before. This silence was thin, fragile, like an eggshell — it was about to crack open, it was about to birth something into the world, and both Toni and Blaire seemed aware of it.

"Don't what, exactly? Don't stop you from making any excuse you can to stay away from whatever the fuck is going on between us?" Toni challenged with determination, a sense of attraction stirring as the distance between them became a mere two inches. Blaire's breathing grew ragged at the proximity, her eyes searching elsewhere. "C'mon, Blaire, admit it to me," Toni added daringly. "Look me in the eyes and just admit to me that the real reason you're trying so hard to push me away is because there's something else going on here and you're just scared that —"

"Fuck off," Blaire growled, having to look down at the basketball player due to the height difference. "I told you I'm not doing this —"

"Well, that's too fucking bad! Because I need you to tell me how you feel. And I need us to talk about it, because you're driving me crazy, and I can't go on like this," Toni wasn't aware of her tone of voice, until it resonated in the silence like a gunshot. "So tell me, if this is so wrong, why do you keep coming back?"

"Because, for some reason, I can't stay away," Blaire inhaled shakily, the allure of the Oxycodone fading with each word that slipped past her lips. "Is that what you wanna hear?" She whispered brokenly into the silence, biting her tongue so hard that she drew blood. "That, despite all the shit that you've done, I can't stop thinking about you? That, without me even realizing it, I'm setting the course for my own self-destruction by falling for someone like him again —"

"But I'm not like him, Blaire," Toni reached out and pulled Blaire closer by the waist, and the feeling of her fingertips made the New Yorker's breath hitch. "I'm nothing like him, okay? And you know that. With everything that happened yesterday, I don't know to explain it, but... I just felt so fucking on edge. And yeah, it'll take some time for me to fix things between us. It might happen tomorrow, it might never happen. But," The guilt curled in Toni's chest, so familiar, like a domesticated beast, and she was almost afraid to let go of it, "I'd be lying to myself if I said trying to stay away from you wasn't really fucking difficult. Because fuck, I've missed you. I've missed whatever this is, and I don't give a shit about how ridiculous that sounds."

The slow throbbing of Blaire's headache returned with the heat of Toni's hand against her waist, the surety of her voice as she reassured the dancer with a murmur meant for her ears only. Toni was like the drug Blaire knew she shouldn't take, but the drug kept coming back to feed her addiction. She knew, of course, that Toni was not the only vice she had indulged in these past few days, and the guilt alone was almost overwhelming.

And yet, Toni's answering grin revealed a dimple and Blaire greedily let her eyes drink their fill. She wanted to trace the shape of her mouth, to watch her eyes darken at her touch, to have these memories for when it was just her in the inky blackness of a long summer night. However, at the same time, she had the fierce urge to walk away from the waters edge, away from the waterfall, where she had confessed far too many of her secrets under the influence, before she experienced the possibility of another heartbreak.

But she found herself unable to move away, especially not when she was finally so close after so long.

Blaire's hand moved to rest on the back of Toni's neck impulsively with this confession, her fingers cupping her nape. "God, I hate how you can make me feel like this," she whispered breathlessly, and Toni's skin darkened across her cheeks as tension visibly lifted from her shoulders. "This, whatever this is... it's crazy."

And in the moment, Toni didn't think, couldn't think — not when Blaire's forehead rested against hers, not when their lips ghosted over each other, not when the temptation grew more intense, desperate, like they were both starving. She opened her eyes again, the fire in them unmistakable.

"Nah, being stranded on a deserted island is crazy. But this," Toni spoke what the both of them had been thinking into existence, and her voice was sincere as she held onto Blaire's waist, "this just seems inevitable."

Blaire's breath hitched, and she whispered, "You think so?"

They continued to breathe each other in deeply, and Blaire could tell she was finally beginning to calm. Her face was very close to Toni's, and she could feel her shuddering breath upon her skin. She realized, in that very moment, that this physical proximity was the closest she had ever been to Toni. In fact, it was the closest she had ever been to any woman romantically.

Involuntarily, her heart began to race.

She knew she was supposed to be the one staying away from people like Toni, but Blaire was finding it hard to concentrate. Toni, too, seemed to be realizing their proximity, since her eyes that had been staring down at her hands on Blaire's waist had moved up to meet her gaze. She made no attempt to move, and for some unknown reason, neither did Blaire.

Toni's eyes darted down to her lips, and Blaire instinctively tilted her face closer to her.

What was she doing?

Blaire swallowed, closing her eyes as she tried to gather her thoughts. Toni's face was still very close to hers, and her staggered breathing seemed to no longer stem from anger, but rather from something else — something far more visceral, and Blaire could feel it too. Her heart continued to race, as did Toni's. Their hands were still held against each other's bodies, palms pressed against warm clothes. Hot breath against each other's lips.

Blaire knew that Toni wanted to kiss her.

The heat between them seemed to intensify as their eyes met once again, their breath in sync. The gravitational pull between them was undeniable. Blaire didn't know what that meant, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Toni's hand on her waist moved again, and Blaire's heart rate seemed to skyrocket as she felt Toni's fingers slide up toward the side of her neck before cupping her head, her thumb brushing against Blaire's cheek.

"Yeah, I do," Toni whispered with profound certainty, and Blaire couldn't seem to pull her gaze from hers.

And, as though their bodies were moving on their own, Blaire and Toni became close enough now that the tips of their noses were brushing against each other, and Toni leaned forward, their lips ghosting each other. She moved to close the gap between them, and Blaire couldn't bring herself to stop her —

"Blaire! Toni!"

Both of the two girls immediately pushed away from one another, as if shocked by an electrical current.

Blaire's already pounding heartbeat skyrocketed to a frenetic pace when she whirled around and saw the three people standing before them that made her stomach instantly sink: Shelby, Martha, and Fatin, all of them clearly having been out looking for the two missing delegates that secluded themselves by the the waterfall.

The Pakistani-American girl was gazing at the two of them as if she could not believe her eyes. "Sorry to interrupt what I'm sure was a friendly, PG-13 conversation," Fatin smirked with a hint of sarcasm, quirking an eyebrow in Blaire's direction. "But Dorothy's insistent we head back to the beach before we get maimed by a pack of non-existent wolves."

"Blaire," Shelby stepped forward without hesitation, gazing at the New Yorker with wide, deeply concerned eyes. "Everything okay over here?"

Blaire and Toni immediately began to speak over one another:

"Toni and I were just talking — !"

"What, can we not have a conversation?"

"We just thought we'd better clear the air after yesterday, that's all —"

"Yeah, and we were kind of in the middle of something..."

"Well, the rest of us are leaving," Martha interrupted imperiously, glaring at Toni, and both her and Blaire automatically went quiet. She nodded towards the New Yorker, "And we thought it'd be nice to for all of us to walk back together, but if you'd rather finish your conversation —"

"No!" Blaire choked out immediately, her voice suspiciously high, and she avoided Toni's eyes where confusion was clearly visible. "I mean, I think we're pretty much done here, and I just..." she hesitated, glancing over to Fatin, unsure of what to say to convince her. "Well, I — I just want to change out of these sweaty clothes, you know?"

Fatin's eyes seemed to glint with mischief at Blaire's anxious excuse. "Right," she said quietly, a note of disbelief in her voice, though she stepped forward and hooked an arm around her best friend nonetheless. "Bitch, me too. Let's lead the way back then, hm?"

And, before Blaire was hardly able to register the words that hung in the air, Fatin dragged her back towards the forest by the elbow, pulling her away from the waters edge and the others. Toni stared, disbelieving, as Blaire and Fatin disappeared into the wilderness. She exhaled slowly, feeling as if she were fighting a losing battle. Martha and Shelby hadn't said anything before walking after them, and Toni could practically feel the anger pulsing in her own veins at the thought of them ruining her moment with Blaire.

They'd been so close... too close.

That was the only thing on Blaire's mind once Fatin led her several yards into the forest, where they were far out of earshot from the other delegates. Blaire was momentarily too confused to speak, distracted by the distant memory of Toni's hands on her waist.

Stop it!

"Okay," Fatin said the moment they started following the marked path and she turned towards Blaire, a knowing look in her eyes, "I have so many questions!"

Silence stretched for a few moments as she tried to gather her thoughts, which caused Blaire's panic to build. "Don't start," she groaned. "Nothing happened, all right?"

"Who're you trying to convince, me or you?" Fatin insisted with a rhetorical question. She laughed and nudged the New Yorker on the arm, "Because I'm pretty sure if me and the two Powerpuff Girls hadn't interrupted, the two of you would've been boning in the woods by now!"

"Goddamnit..." Blaire felt herself immediately tense as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "You don't think Shelby and Martha suspected anything, do you?"

"You mean the two virgins? Ha! Hell no," Fatin grinned at her, and Blaire hated herself for laughing when she joked. "Those two wouldn't know sexual tension even if a dildo smacked them in the face. But," she drawled teasingly, "I, on the other hand, will say that walking in on you two practically fingering each other was enough to put me in a chokehold."

Blaire blinked, unsure of what to say to that. "You're not funny."

"Bitch, we both know I'm fucking hilarious," Fatin corrected happily, her infectious laugh carrying through the treetops. She tried to keep their conversation lighthearted, but she became suddenly alarmed when Blaire's vision blurred and she tripped over an overgrown tree-root. "Careful!" The Pakistani-American warned, helping Blaire to steady herself on her feet. "Jesus Christ, watch your step!"

"Sorry," Blaire slurred in response, a wave of fatigue weighing heavily on her eyelids. "I'm just tired..."

Fatin stared at her, knowing all too well what the real reason behind her sleepiness was, unwilling to confront her about it. Instead, she frowned, "Right, well — j-just be careful, all right?"

Blaire didn't respond as she looked away, suddenly realizing the enormity of the guilt turning in her stomach. She felt a bit lightheaded, her heart pounding uncomfortably inside her chest. There was so many vivid thoughts in her head, and Blaire was having trouble processing as it all came flooding back.

Toni had been able to calm her down: through her steady breathing and soft caresses, Blaire's panic was able to recede, her vision had cleared, and she was able to see everything as if in a new light. Their closeness in that moment had awakened something inside of the New Yorker. It was like a magnetic pull that had drawn Blaire to Toni, an inexorable bond that made her want nothing more than to press their lips together in a passionate kiss, reassuring her that Toni was real, that she felt the same.

Does that make you crazy?

Blaire supposed that those feelings were only a reaction to the heat of the moment, and from the unintentional closeness they had shared when Toni had wrapped her hands around her waist, but a part of the dancer wasn't entirely sure if that was the truth. She felt the familiar clench of anxiety in her chest as she tried to process it all, and the use of the Oxycodone only added to her confusion, so much so that her vision had gone fuzzy and her mind blanked out, making her feel as if she were about to pass out.

But, somehow, even through the haziness of her own thoughts and distortion, Blaire allowed her tired limbs to drag her back towards the beach, unaware of Fatin's eyes watching her closely as she walked through the forest again.

─── • ───

The journey back to the campsite didn't take nearly as long as Blaire would've expected, and all nine of the delegates made it back to the beach with, what they all assumed to be, a few hours of daylight left. They met back up with Nora, who had managed to keep the signal fire going after Dot misplaced the lighter, and she was ecstatic to see that they'd brought water — and Blaire and Fatin — back from their trek into the inland forest.

Blaire sprawled out onto the sand next to the campfire, where Dot had been boiling the water since they'd returned, and the others made small talk as they waited for hydration, despite the flame growing weak as the evening breeze rolled in from the water.

"All right," Dot filled one of their empty soda cans with the boiled water. "Careful it might still be hot," she added towards Toni who took the can eagerly.

"Oh, bring on the third degree burns! I'm thirsty as hell," Toni practically sang, disregarding the redhead's precautions and bringing the aluminum can to her lips, downing a swig of the water.

"You know what would be really great with this water?" Rachel asked rhetorically from her spot beside her twin sister. "Some fucking food. The hunger is real, bro." She sighed, earning a reassuring pat on the leg from Nora, who was beyond proud that her sister was openly expressing a want for food, a noteworthy stride from where she was two weeks ago.

"After that talk today, I'm not so concerned about going hungry." Dot commented, grabbing another one of the steel water bottles from the fire, filling up another can. "I'm more concerned about something hungry finding us."

Martha sat next to her, using a stick to poke and prod at the fire, arranging the coals which essentially kept the flame burning. She cleared her throat, asking, "How long does it take for the water to boil?"

"At least a minute," Dot replied with certainty before handing Martha the Lacroix can. "So it kills off all the microbes and shit."

"Well, how can we tell it's been a minute?" Martha continued, averting her earthy eyes over to the survivalist who could only shrug in response. "I mean, I guess I could count. One one-thousand, two one- thousand..." She hummed. "What should I be saying? One one-thousand or one Mississippi? I mean, I don't know which one's more accurate so..."

"Hey, Martha," Fatin called out as she approached the circle of castaways. "Here, this will help." She removed an antique Rolex watch from her wrist, tossing it down to the Native American girl.

"Oh, my God, this is beautiful!" Martha awed, running her thumb over the plated gold.

"For seventy-eight thousand dollars, it better be," Fatin chuckled, the price causing Dot to whistle with astonishment.

"Okay, I don't think I should be touching this," Martha laughed softly, trying to hand the watch off to Shelby, though the blonde was quick to retract her hands.

"No, it's all good. My shit is your shit," Fatin insisted. "Or it's all part of Dorothy's inventory, right?" She gently nudged Dot with one of her slippers.

"Hell yeah, it is," Dot raised her can of water in salut, with Fatin joining in before parting from the group and making her way over to Leah, who was sitting down a couple inches away from the group. "You know for water to not have a flavour, this shit tastes great."

Blaire propped herself up on her elbows and took a can of water from Dot. "Water definitely has a flavour," she replied before taking a swig, grinning.

"Water tastes like water," Martha chimed in while putting on Fatin's Rolex, securing the clasp around her wrist.

"Which tastes like nothing," Dot said matter-of-factly, the front pieces of her auburn hair pushed back behind her ears.

"That's completely subjective, Dorothy," Blaire mused, with laughter in her voice, and Toni couldn't help but smile in her direction. She was slurring a little, because of the drugs, and it was cute. Blaire looked cute, Toni thought, despite herself, in her basketball shorts and tank top. No, more than cute, she looked hot — and oh, this was a dangerous train of thoughts.

Moments later, Fatin regained her place in the circle, along with Leah, who was back to her sad-eyed self. The tension between the two girls was no more, and it was safe to say that things were a lot less heavy within the group. Fatin sat down on her knees next to Blaire, while Leah took a bit more time, gathering up her book before making her way over to where Rachel sat. Without a word, she extended her arm, offering the diver the annotated novel in a way that seemed almost like an olive branch.

"Are you sure?" Rachel's eyebrows drew inward with mild confusion, knowing that any jokes made about throwing the book into the fire never resonated.

Leah nodded, peering down at the vague cover one last time.

"Okay," Rachel muttered lowly, taking the tattered book and tossing it into the campfire. The flames ate slowly at its edges, and thin pages, taking its sentiment, and inked love notes, both of which were soon to become ash carried out to sea by the wind.

"Hey," Blaire nudged at Leah's shoulder reassuringly as she sat down next to her and the others. "Good riddance."

Reluctantly, Leah offered her a sad smile, "Yeah."

─── • ───

Darkness had fallen upon the island, and instead of sleeping or participating in one of Shelby's icebreakers, the nine delegates were once again trekking down the beach, something they wouldn't be doing if Dot hadn't made it seem incredibly urgent.

"Predators ain't no joke man," Dot voiced to the others, and a coyote (or wolf) ironically howled immediately afterwards.

"That was disturbingly on cue," Rachel enunciated, shoving her hands down into the pockets of her sweater, while her baby hairs swept at her face.

"Yeah, and getting a hell of a lot closer every night," Dot sighed, glancing over to where the forest was, its trees nearly blending in entirely with the night sky.

Shelby furrowed her brows,"Then why exactly are we traipsing around in the dark, making ourselves easy pray?" She questioned while looking around, her eyes peeled for anything out of the ordinary.

"This," Dot replied at once, coming to a stop at a very particular patch of sand. "It's Jeanette's grave. Or what's left of it, anyway." She explained as the others circled around the damp burial. "Keeping her here was fine when we thought rescue was coming right away."

"But it's been a week," Rachel finished for her, a frown on her face, although to Blaire it felt like they'd been on the island for at least a month. Honestly, it was like they all volunteered for the Hunger Games, where there was night and day, and every couple of hours the people in charge found it funny to rain chaos down upon them or pull the strings and stimulate some extremely trivial drama. The days were long, the nights even longer, each one sweeping in and taking whatever bits of faith they had with it.

(A/N: saw this comparison on twitter and just had to include it <33)

"A shallow grave right near camp is going to attract company that we don't want," Dot uttered, looking physically pained for what she'd have to suggest next. "So it's about time that we bury her deeper and somewhere a hell of a lot farther away."

Martha fidgeted with her fingers. "Wait, so dig her back up?" She asked, her voice laced with mortification. "Doesn't that feel a little...?"

"Sacrilegious," Shelby finished with a nod, her eyes just as wide as Martha's, silently pleading that Dot would come up with any other alternative.

"I don't think that we've got any other choice," Dot slumped her shoulders defeatedly, looking between each of the girls who'd all fallen into utter silence, the ocean singing hypnotically in the background, the shoreline misty as the waves collided over one another.

"Fuck it," Rachel breathed aloud, dropping down onto her knees. "I'Il start." She dug her fingers down into the sand, followed by Dot, then Nora, and soon everyone else. Shelby was the last to join in, clutching her cross necklace and saying a lengthy prayer before sitting back on her heels and lending a hand.

"This is next-level fucked up," Blaire muttered under her breath as she dug at the sand, feeling residue crawl under her fingernails. "Like, we're definitely going to Hell for this," she added, and Shelby's shoulders visibly tensed.

"Well, at least we'll be there together," Toni offered, light and playful, and she looked at Blaire again, her heart beating fast. She had no words for what she needed from the New Yorker, for the deep pull at the pit of her stomach, and the desperate kind of yearning, and this kind of vulnerability was completely foreign to her. Blaire, grateful, smiled in Toni's direction, and they continued to dig, side-by-side. Their hands brushed up against each other, and Toni felt a breath of relief calm any previous reservations.

Not long after, the grave was hollowed out, a full two-feet as Dot had measured when they'd initially buried Jeanette the week before. However, what they currently stood around wasn't the lifeless corpse of a San-Francisco native, P!nk-loving girl, but an empty, two-feet deep hole, completely void of everything.

"Where the fuck is her body?" Leah asked what they'd all been thinking, her eyebrows arched as she gazed down into the grave.

"Maybe we didn't dig deep enough." Martha said with a shrug, offering up an easy enough explanation; mainly because she didn't want to believe the morbid alternative.

Toni, however, being the more practical half of their friendship was quick to shut that theory down. "No, we didn't bury her any deeper than this." She shook her head, "There's no way."

Martha shrugged, "Then maybe this isn't the right spot?"

"No, it is," Dot reassured the group, nodding her head vigorously. "Like, I counted a hundred and twenty feet away from camp." She studied the vacant hole for a few moments, looking for a sign — an indent, an earring — that Jeanette had once been there but it was like nothing was ever there to begin with.

"So, what, are we saying that she just, like, re-animated or something and walked off like a zombie?" Fatin sat back on her hands, dried blood still on her thigh from where she'd gotten scraped during the shelter contest.

"That's impossible," Blaire's face construed with skepticism, and she ran her hands up-and-down her bruised arms anxiously to keep warm. "Her body wouldn't just disappear."

"Maybe she got taken out by the tide?" Shelby suggested lowly, turning her gaze towards the misty shoreline while Nora nodded in agreement.

"The marker was gone. The ground's wet. The elevation of the sand has shifted," Dot rattled off the indicators with a sigh of relief, preferring this explanation seeing as it was better than not having one at all.

"The tide could take a body out?" Leah wondered, distinct ambiguity swirling within her cerulean orbs. She was far from convinced, knowing the waves had mostly been docile and calm since they'd arrived, never ferocious enough to pull in a piece of driftwood, let alone a body.

"Tides can pull anything out. Expensive cars, entire houses," Nora affirmed matter-of-factly, her dark eyes averting over to the suspicious Californian. "The ocean is incredibly powerful."

"So Jeanette's just out there on the waves, floating alone?" Martha asked lowly, her tone seeping with mild sorrow and discontent.

"Hey, it's kind of beautiful though," Shelby slipped a comforting arm around Martha's shoulders, pulling her in for a close embrace. "Mother Nature holding her arms around Jeanette, carrying her away."

"Adios, J." Dot breathed, and the nine delegates fell into silence once more, only this time they dedicated it to Jeanette, allowing themselves to remember her one last time before gearing up to head back to camp.

Not long after, as the others began to walk back, the only ones seated around the void grave were Blaire, Fatin, and Leah. "Hey, are you okay?" Fatin nudged her schoolmate whose attention seemed to be more in her head rather than with everyone else.

"Do you two buy this whole tide thing?" Leah asked lowly, her voice still hoarse and strained from yelling, although most of it seemed to stem from tiredness.

"I don't know," Fatin responded with a sigh before she pushed herself to her feet. "I'm gonna head back," she voiced to the others. "You guys should, too."

Blaire watched as Fatin jogged to catch up with the rest of the group, and she shook her head slightly before turning her attention to Leah. "Honestly, I don't know what to believe." She voiced in response to the question, and Leah looked at her intently.

"You just said it yourself: Jeanette's body wouldn't just disappear," Leah reminded her, raising her eyebrows. "And what about her secret phone?"

"What are you trying to say?" Blaire questioned with the damp sand, leaving it to fall through her fingers in clumps. "That there's something else going on here?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying," Leah didn't hesitate with her words, and even in the glow of the moonlight, Blaire could still see the harsh sunburn on her cheeks and forehead. "I have no doubt in my own mind that we have been invited here by a madman — probably a dangerous homicidal lunatic." She recited, and Blaire's eyebrows raised with sudden realization.

"Did you just unironically quote And Then There Were None?" Blaire asked with a laugh, sounding amused.

Leah'd mouth fell open in surprise, "You know Agatha Christie?"

"Don't act so surprised that you're not the only girl in the world to pick up a book every once and a while," Blaire gave a subtle shrug of her shoulders. "But in all honestly, it was sort of a requirement for ninth grade English."

"Kind of ironic, don't you think?" Leah pressed, not wanting her suspicions to get dismissed. "Now that we're stranded on an island, I mean. It almost happened the same way things did in the book."

"Maybe," Blaire muttered after a moment. "But as Agatha Christie once said, 'There's something magical about an island — the mere word suggests fantasy. You can lose touch with your own world, for an island is a world of its own'. So maybe take her advice, yeah? Because whatever answers you want, they aren't worth it if you lose yourself in the process." She climbed to her feet, dusting herself off at the knees. "Trust me, Leah, the what-if's and the should-have's only fuck you up even more."

(A/N: remember this scene...)

And with that, Blaire flashed Leah a soft smile before venturing off towards the flickering light of the campfire, unaware that once Leah had a suspicion, nothing anyone said mattered. She would search until she found what she was looking for, only this time she didn't have to search at all. The fragments were already in front of Leah and the others, spread out like the pieces to a puzzle, and the only thing she had to do was figure out what order they went in.

But, like all else, only time would tell...

─── • ───

FATIN JADMANI

The end of Fatin's interrogation had dawned, just as it had with the others, quick and precise, with still no answers as to where her and the others were and what had happened. She was evidently unharmed from her events on the island, only from physical indications so far, of course. Psychologically, Faber knew, each of the girls were struggling to keep it together after what they had to endure on the island.

Fatin's case file sat in front of Faber and Agent Young, across from the girl herself as she recalled the events of the seventh day. She was more closed off than they'd expected, especially about her conversations with Blaire in the forest and Leah's suspicion, for she knew to keep those things sacred. Her hands rested in the depths of her maroon sweater pocket, and Fatin sighed as she watched Agent Young scribble down words in the margins of his notes.

"Leah felt like there was something odd with the whole situation." She confessed with a shrug, "She could, like, feel it in her bones."

Agent Young leaned forward, intrigued, "And did she share that with anyone else?"

"No, just me and Blaire," Fatin replied bluntly, tapping her foot on the tiled floor of the interrogation room. "The others would've thought she'd gone mental —they already kind of did."

"But you believed her, and so did Miss Diamante," Faber said matter-of-factly, making a mental note of her recollection of the previous conversation. "The two of you didn't think that she was making a big deal over nothing?"

"I can't exactly speak for Blaire now, can I?" Fatin shrugged her shoulders again, a fire in her eyes. "That's something you'll have to ask her yourself, if she's even up for it. But I'll tell you that, at the time, I thought I was going fucking crazy. I mean, maybe it was because I was starting to like Leah or whatever." She smiled softly at the memory. "But, yeah... I believed her."

And with that, the interrogation drew to its conclusion, and Fatin was escorted back to her room by one of the few nurses that had been helping each of the girls with their injuries from the island — physical and psychological. Faber and Agent Young shared a look as the Pakistani-American girl left the room, both of them unaware of what to make of the situation that had unfolded before them.

"So," Agent Young broke the silence, "you think it's time to bring the Diamante girl in?"

"No, not yet," Faber shook his head, quickly scanning over the case files of the others. "Reports show that she's still being assessed up in medical. And with a girl like Blaire, it's best we don't overwhelm her with too many things at once. That kid's been through enough." He sighed and took off his glasses, pinching at the bridge of his nose. "I think we're better off bringing Leah back in for another session. Because, after what we just heard, it's imperative we get to the bottom of her suspicions, not just for our own sake, but for the sake of the Dawn of Eve..."

─── • ───

author's note:
*this chapter was not proof read*

EPISODE FIVE IS DONE! THANK GOD LOL

how are we feeling about that blaire/toni tension?? things are heating up, and I'm so excited for what comes next 👀👀

blaire's got some stuff to figure out tho...

[insert begging for comments and votes]

lots of love, see you next time!

xo, selena

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