𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭.
𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞'𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐯

it's been a week since hurricane zachary. it's been a week since I poured my heart out to sloan. since I fell asleep on her as she stroked my hair. her fingertips like a gently breeze. she's still here, still I believe falling for me. as we get closer and closer everything fades. all my anxiety, all my thoughts fade, she a focal point and i'm the photographer. I have been photographing us way too often. we took a small small pause she had something to do this weekend.

I write this in my journal to say I am growing with her, for her, growing for myself. it's refreshing the idea of wanting to just be alive. to feel the grass between fingertips, to hug a tree, to smell a flower. to soak in the sun that is shining on us always.

the gods did something right.

i stop writing i place my pen on my desk and walk to my bed. it's friday i have no plans so now i need a nap.

i close my eyes and fall into a slumber that lasts for two hours.

     ❏

awaken by a knock on my door and my phone pinging like crazy. i go open the door to see my father. 'ward cameron' the prominent real estate owner, the richest kook in kook land 'technically'. practically owns everyone.

"son, sorry to wake you your dinner is in the kitchen, you missed our once a week dinners. i called you at least five times. i need you on sunday bright and early we are taking the boat out to go fish" he pats my on the shoulder with a light squeeze.

"sunday it is dad, and thank you i'll go freshen up and eat now. also no need for an apology if it wasn't for you i might've slept until tomorrow"

he smiles at me then walks away. i race to my phone missed texts from kelce, topper, and sloan.

i text sloan back first, then topper, then kelce. i get no immediate responses so i go freshen up.

wheezie walks into my bathroom "so are you ever going to introduce sloan to dad and rose?"

"i will, soon. we've only had eight definite dates"

"i like you guys better than topper and sarah"

"why? and topper is my friend i am hoping he's treating sarah right but who knows"

"no offense to them but you guys look better together, sarah is too pretty for topper, and sloan is really cool"

"i agree, did you finish the movie?" i smile at her

she nods and shows me final destination 5 the last one. she also has one of my favorite movies in her hand eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

looking towards my door she says, "sarah wants to talk to you about something, she's coming in"

i turn my attention to sarah she's got her hair down, she's in a blue dress, she has her hair and make up done. "does this look like something topper would like?" i'm assuming her dress.

"yes it does, you look beautiful"

she smiles at me, wheezie agreed she ruffles her hair then smooths it down giving her a sisterly side hug. exiting my bathroom i head downstairs to find my food, sarah tells dad she's headed out i finally look at the time it's 7 pm.

after my food gets heated up, the door bell rings. i answer to see topper standing with roses in his hand. "aww buddy don't you look handsome" i make it sound babyish he laughs says "thanks rafe"

i signal for him to come in and wait for sarah. much obliged he does.

sarah comes down our spiral staircase, topper almost chokes. i pat him on the shoulder and head to heat my food up again. i eat when i hear them leave.

i think it's a self care weekend for me so i'll binge a few new shows, watch movies and take in how my life changed in such a short amount of time. grabbing my phone i prop it up and start watching 13 reasons why i had to catch up. i eat as i watch.

washing my plate, finishing my drink, i head up to my room. turning on my tv, heading to input i wait for my fire stick to load to continuing watching my show.

it wasn't until 1 am that i fell asleep.

❏

it's only Saturday morning it's 7:48 am and I can't stop thinking about sloan. I texted her good morning asking how she slept. as I write this I feel like I should describe how our first kiss made me feel.

do you know when you look at someone and just can't hold the feelings in any longer. the rain, in my mind didn't stop the heat that I felt as she came towards me. once she was close I couldn't control the urge I kissed her. her lips were gentle and soft like her features, the wind knocked out of me. I didn't want to stop. I felt the soul of her, the soul I tell you. I believe in soul mates but to actually feel it, right moment, right time, right place. Magic, similarly to how it felt like she's been in my room before. it seems like I knew her in a past life.

a silent heat as we collided, the idea of doing anything else with her amplifies the heat I feel around her.

i place my pen in my book and leave my journal on my bedside table. i get up and head to my bathroom, i strip to get into the shower. i put my head under the water, and i can't help but fantasize getting out the shower after twenty minutes of rapping at least two meek mill songs.

i do my routine, my phone pings in between one of my favorite verses. i smile at the message sloan sent it is a photo of her as the sun hits her face, a huge smile on her face. saying good morning, as well as asking how i was.

i sent her a photo of me and answered her question.

she's calling me now, the facetime ringtone perks up my mood.

"hello?" my smile too wide that sloan laughs causing me to. we laugh as she says, "i woke up missing you"

"i know we can't see each other this weekend but can i see you on wednesday night?"

sloan eyebrows raise "what's going on? is this a surprise? what should i wear?"

"something elegant, it is a surprise"

she smiles at me, "ok and how late are we going to be out? my brothers currently in the room so he would like to know"

"midnight at most"

"great timing" her brother's voice rings through the phone.

"i thought so too" i wink at her she sighs with relief.

"he finally left" she whispers.

"yes!" i pump my fists. she laughs telling me she has to go but that she just wanted to see me. she might not be able to until monday. i say "see you later, i —" is it too early to say it?

"see you" she hangs up.

i smile to myself as i head to make breakfast, i am lightly playing music on my speaker as i flip the french toast.

sarah and wheezie enter the kitchen, "our favorite?!"

"it is!"

sarah says "topper is really being an ass this morning"

"what happened?"

"he hasn't responded and when he does it's one word answers" she scrunched up her face at whatever message was just sent. placing her phone face down.

"probably busy or something happened with his mom"

wheezie comes to take the spatula out my hands to flip the toast and eggs.

sarah said slowly "his mom?"

i forgot they've just got together like two weeks ago, "mhmm his mom always blamed him for things that go wrong. she acts like he isn't his own person sometimes. you should ask him though he'll tell you the rest"

she nods as I put her food in front of her, wheezie is playing a game, sarah's eating nervously, i am just watching them when the front door opens. dad and rose come in with for sale signs and what looks like celebratory breakfast. i know i'll eat it!

"hey kids" dad says smiling at us.

rose says happily "we've just sold a house!"

we smile at them, shining excitement. trying our best to play off that we care.

❏

sunday goes great, we catch three fish, and a trout. ward cameron was proud of me for one of the first times in my life and i would love to revel in this feeling. it never lasts every time i do something right, something else comes along or i screw it up. this time nothing went wrong, i didn't screw up.

it's almost 2 am when i fall asleep debating whether this week will be a great one. as i imagine static from the tv to drift off.

    ✍︎︎
𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎:

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠, 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚕. 𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 & 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚜?

𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚎 & 𝚜𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎. 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚣𝚒𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚏𝚝 𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝. 𝙰𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍'𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚍 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑. 𝙰𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚘'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚟 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏?

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐,
𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝚂𝚞𝚗𝙹𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚕☀︎︎