❝AIN'T IT FUNNY❞
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ chapter thirty-three,
Gilmore Girls — Season Two

October 4th, 2001

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[ LUCY'S POV ]

     I SIT CROSSLEGGED ON A BENCH IN PATTY'S, watching Addy spin around in a flawless pirouette.

It's been a while since I watched Addy dance, and I've missed watching her. It's Sunday morning, and I'm completely exhausted from the lack of sleep I had the night before, but I don't want to miss Addy dancing.

She looks so perfect, so poised, so picturesque. She's elegant, always has been, and I can't take my eyes off her. I brought my books to study but I pushed them away the second Addy started dancing.

She spins, trips over her foot and grabs onto the chair in front of her. "Crap," she curses.

     "You okay?" I ask, lifting myself off the bench so I can help her up. I grab her arm, lift her up off the floor and pull her over to the bench so she can sit alongside me.

     Her head hits the wall, and she pulls her ballet slippers off immediately. I help lift her feet up and onto the bench, and she stretches her legs forward and onto my lap, her body laid down on the bench. She lets out an exhausted puff of air. "You okay?" I ask again. "You've been working yourself to death today, Ad."

     I've noticed that she's been working a little too hard to perfect her technique. Sure, she looks extraordinary, but I can see that she's overworking herself— for whatever reason. She looks tired, her eyes are red and dark, and she looks about ready to collapse.

     "I'm tired," she yawns, and I squeeze her ankle. "And I'm working hard because I've got to teach the kids in Hartford twice this week. I'm trying to figure out a suitable routine."

I turn to look at her. "Twice this week? But you've got school and—"

"I know I do," Addy interjects. "Look, it's just this week, okay? One volunteer can't teach so I offered to take over the class."

Addy has always been a hard worker— an overachiever— and I admire her, of course, but she constantly works herself to death. I do worry about her, especially right now. She's been so busy recently, and I keep offering to tutor her but she claims she's busy constantly. I wonder if something if going on with her and her mother, or maybe her and Nathan.

     I don't want to sit and wonder, I want to know. "Addy, is something going on? You do know that you can just tell me," I say, placing a hand against her knee.

     Addy sits up, and she kicks her legs off my lap so she can sit next to me.

     I turn in my seat and I face her while she stares at the ground. "My mom threatened to have me pulled out of these "silly" dance classes. She knows that Luke pays but..." She pauses, and I watch her inhale sharply. "She doesn't think I'll go anywhere. She thinks I'll be a failure with no prospects and future. She says it's nice to have hobbies, but I need to start being realistic because college is creeping up, and Juilliard isn't expectable for somebody like me."

     "Addy, she doesn't know how talented you are," I say, and Addy hums in response, shrugging her shoulders sadly. "You're insanely good at dancing, and you can do whatever you want in the future, Addy, trust me. My dad is happy to pay, and you know why?" Addy turns to face me as I finish with, "Because he can see how talented you are. He always knew you could dance, even as a kid when I was tripping and falling. He knew you could dance, and he always wanted to help. Your mother doesn't know what she's talking about."

     "She doesn't know I'm taking an extra class this week," Addy admits, turning away from me. "One day I want her to see me— really see me— and I want to show her that I can do something with dancing. I want her to recognise me. I want her to be proud of me like you are. Like Luke is."

     I reach for Addy's hand. "Addy, if she doesn't ever recognise your talent, she's going to be really sorry one day."

     Addy sighs. "I can't wait to leave this town."

     I frown, because I obviously want Addy to be happy but I'm not ready to let go of this— of our friendship. I know we'll stay friends for as long as we possibly can, but I also know that I'll barely see her once we begin college. She'll be in New York in Juilliard, and I'll be in New Haven at Yale. Well, hopefully I'll be there.

     I know how badly she wants to leave this town. Hell, she's wanted to leave this town since we were kids, and I can't say I blame her. While I love this strange town, Addy can't grasp the love I have for it. She's always dreamed of more, but I'm still attached to everything about this town, about the people in this town.

     It'll be hard when I one day leave.

     Addy turns to me, and she squeezes my hand in reassurance. "Thank you for supporting me," she says, smiling softly.

     "I'm your number one fan," I reply, and Addy leans forward to rest her head upon my shoulder.

     "I just wish my mom can support it." I place a hand against Addy's hair, and I stay silent. "Even my perfect brother understands me. Can you believe that?"

     I chuckle. "Really?"

     She nods, and I hear her sigh. "It's sad when everybody around me supports me, but my own mother doesn't have faith in me."

     "I'll always be here for you, and my dad," I assure her, but Addy already knows that my dad is her second biggest fan, after me obviously. Nathan is a close second, but he can take the third spot. "I hope your mother realises just how perfect you are one day, Addy. And if she doesn't..." Addy lifts her head from my shoulder to look at me. "You'll always have me and my dad, okay?"

     Addy nods. "Yeah. Thank you."

    Before either of us can speak another word, we hear some commotion outside and we look to see a few townsfolk rushing past Patty's. I raise an eyebrow and lift myself off the bench, and Addy follows after me as I take a step out of Patty's.

     We look across the street to find people gathered at the market, and I nearly gasp when I see a literal police car. "We have police in Stars Hollow?" We begin to step away from the studio.

     We step over to the crime scene— it feels very strange to say that— and we move through the crowd towards the front of the yellow police tape. I gasp, and my eyes look down at the chalk outline of a dead body in front of the store. Who on Earth would do this?

     Actually, scratch that, I know who did this, but I ain't saying anything. I'm sure this bizarre town will figure it out.

     "Hey," I say, looking from the chalk drawing to Dean. "What happened here?"

     Dean shrugs. "I don't know. I got here and this is what I found. I mean, I told him it looked fake, but he didn't believe me."

     I scoff, looking over at Taylor who is bickering with the policewoman. "Taylor, everybody is accounted for. It looks like this was just an elaborate prank."

     "But it looks so real. Where'd they get the police tape?" Me and Dean laugh, and Taylor glares at us. I should probably get away before he has me burned at the stake. "Who'd be depraved enough to pull a stupid prank like this?"

     I look across the street with Addy, and we find Jess leaning against a lamppost. "Oh, one name comes to mind," I whisper, and Dean looks in the same direction.

     "Huh," Dean huffs. "Should've known."

     "Taylor will have him executed." I roll my eyes, and I step away from the crowd before Taylor questions me or something. I imagine he'll carry out a thorough investigation to find the culprit, and he'll likely find that Jess was the one to commit such a heinous crime.

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     I CONSIDER TELLING DAD THAT JESS HAS ANNOYED TAYLOR AGAIN but I argue against it. I don't fancy getting involved in Jess' theatrics again, I'd rather just ignore it. I'm sure Jess will get what's coming to him eventually.

     Instead, I stand with my dad and read off the toaster manual as we attempt to fix the darned thing. It broke again. It always breaks. I've told him to get a new one repeatedly, especially since this is the toaster we've had since we opened in 1992, but he argues against it.

     "Dad, if you keep stabbing it with a screwdriver, you'll break it," I argue, waving the manual around.

     "Lucy, it's already broken."

     Before I say another word, the door to the diner opens and we look forward to see Lorelai, Rory and Mia— the owner of the Independence Inn— and we forget about all our problems. My face gleams, and I rush away, dropping the manual so I can say hello to Mia.

     I smile widely, and I throw my arms around the woman. "Mia, hi!"

     "Oh, it's nice to see you, Lucy. You're tall," she says, holding my arms in her hands. "And gorgeous. Oh, you're prettier than ever, Luce."

     "Oh, Mia, you're too kind."

     Mia owns the Independence Inn— the inn that Lorelai runs— and she's well loved in this town. Everybody knows of this sweet woman, and when I was a kid, she used to stop by and visit us. She knew my grandfather, and they were close before he died. She's always been a loving woman, and she helped Lorelai and Rory out so much.

     My dad steps over, and when Mia frees me, she wraps her arms around Luke. "Oh, it's nice to see you, Lucas."

     Dad grins. "You're the only person in the world who can call me that, Mia."

     "I know this."

     "I'm saying it for others who plan to try it later." His eyes fall on Lorelai, and she rolls her own eyes.

     "Whatever, Lucas," she scoffs.

     "Mia, do you know anything about toasters?"

     She shakes her head. "Not a damn thing."

     "Well, then sit down and let me get you some coffee." Dad squeezes my arm, and we step away from the table to grab Mia some coffee.

While we grab coffee, Jess walks in from upstairs, and I completely forgot that he was even here. "You fix it yet?" He's referring to the toaster that sits in between me and Dad, and the manual is currently on the floor.

"You two are making it worse," he says, looking into the toaster to see a screwdriver jammed in there.

I roll my eyes. "Big help, thanks."

"Luke, that's your nephew?" We look over at Mia, and I drag Jess over to their table while Dad brings coffee to them.

"It's Liz's kid," Dad states, and Jess yanks his arm from my grip. "Jess, this is Mia. She owns the Independence Inn."

Jess grunts. "Huh."

"That's 'Hello, nice to meet you' in slacker."

"You don't need me down here, do you?" Before we object, Jess steps away and out the door of the diner. That's not surprising.

     Dad sighs, and he turns back to Mia. "I'm sorry, Mia."

     "Oh, please, forget it. You weren't exactly a talkative boy yourself when you were his age," Mia says, and I grin because Mia is one of the many people from this town who knew my dad when he was younger.

     "That's right, you knew Luke as a boy," Lorelai says, her smile wicked.

     "I can't imagine Luke as a boy," Rory comments, and to be honest, neither can I. Sure, I've seen photos of my dad when he was a boy, but it's hard to believe he ever had something of a childhood. When I think about it, I find it amusing, especially when I see ridiculous photos of him as a kid.

     God, if he knew the photos grandpa used to show me, he'd have a heart attack.

     "Can we change the subject?" Dad begs, but I want to hear how Mia saw him when he was younger. I only know the Dad version of Luke Danes while others see different versions of him.

     Mia smiles innocently. "He would help people carry groceries home. For a quarter a bag."

     I gasp, smacking my dad's arm. "Is that how we're paying for my college tuition?"

     Dad glares at me, and Mia speaks again, "He was never without his skateboard for a time."

     Ah, yes. I remember a photo grandpa showed me of Dad with a skateboard. He was standing by the gazebo with a smile on his face and a skateboard tucked under his arm. He even had shorts on, and I remember finding the photo funny when I was a kid.

     Dad shrugs. "I can hold my own."

     "And there was that year you wore the same shirt everywhere you went," Mia mentions, and I look up at my dad and raise a brow.

     Dad shakes his head. "I don't remember that." It must've been a pretty embarrassing shirt.

     "Must have been something flannel," Lorelai says, but I'd like to think Dad wasn't wearing flannel shirts as a boy.

     Mia shakes her head. "No. It was from that TV show. That famous one."

     Dad's face flushes white. Oh, it must be really embarrassing. "It's not important," he insists, but me, Rory and Lorelai are desperate to know what this shirt was.

     Mia claps her hands together. "Star Trek, that's it!" Me, Lorelai and Rory laugh, completely surprised that my dad— the man who hates TV— was a trekkie when he was a kid. He had a shirt and everything. Wow.

     I nudge Dad. "You were a Trekkie?"

     "I was not a Trekkie."

     "Uh, I do believe that denying you were a Trekkie is a violation of the prime directive," Lorelai says, and Dad groans, obviously disappointed that Mia threw him under the bus.

     "It was a gift from my aunt," Dad claims, and I scoff. "I wore it to make her happy." Big fat liar.

     Mia looks between the three of us who laugh. "Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

     "Oh no Mia, that's okay. I just have to cancel everything I have scheduled for the next three months 'cause I'll still be laughing my ass off." My laughing suddenly falters when I look to the door and find Taylor who is walking in, and I can see that he's raging.

I believe he knows what Jess has done.

     "What do you want, Taylor?" Dad asks, stepping away from the table to move back to the counter.

     "I have conducted a thorough investigation of all the people who may have inadvertently been witness to the phoney murder at my store last night." I roll my eyes, finding this ridiculous. This town isn't good enough for a real murder, so we instead make up phoney murders.

     "What does this have to do with me?" Dad asks, obviously not interested in the ridiculous pretend murder.

     "Three people have reported seeing Jess in that area. Late last night— Skulking, lurking." Dad nudges me before I laugh, and I scoff, placing a hand upon my hip.

     "There were a lot of people eating here late last night. I know because I fed some of them. You can add them to your suspect list," Dad suggests, adding to this insanity.

     Taylor ignores Dad's comment. "Another person witnessed Jess walking out of an arts-and-crafts store with what appeared to be chalk." Do people in this town have nothing better to do than watch Jess?

     "You appear to be bugging me, Taylor," Dad emphasises.

     "What are you gonna do about the results of my investigation?" I snort, and Taylor glares at me.

     "Absolutely nothing, but thanks for the info," he replies, a sarcastic smile on his face, and some part of me wants to walk away, but another part of me wants to watch this train wreck of a conversation.

     "You have to do something! People want action!" he demands, and I wonder if I can get away with shoving him out the door.

     I scoff. "What people? You?"

     "Not just me," he argues, but I know it's just him. It's always just him. "I speak for the Stars Hollow Business Association, the Stars Hollow Tourist Board, the Stars Hollow Neighbourhood-Watch Organisation, and the Stars Hollow citizens for a clean Stars Hollow council."

     "All of which are you!" I argue back, and Taylor's stares straight at me, obviously trying to intimidate me but I've known him since I was a child. I'm not afraid of him.

     "So are you going to act?" Taylor asks.

     "Yes, I'm gonna act like you never came in."

     "Fine. Have it your own way." There's no way he's just giving in so easily, but then he adds a subtle threat. "But I warn you, there'll be a lot of unhappy people at the S.H.B.A., the S.H.T.B., the S.H.M.W.O., and the S.H.C.C.S.H.C."

     "F-I-N-E!" Dad taunts, and I laugh loudly.

     "Oh! You are impossible! You are impossible!" I watch Taylor turn abruptly and storm off, stopping to say hello to Mia who is watching the argument unfold.

     Taylor opens the door, and he storms out of the diner in a blind rage. I laugh again, and I turn to my dad who shakes his head. "He's insane."

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     THE TOWN MEETING STARTS AT 8, but when we arrive at Miss. Patty's, the entire town is inside the building except for us. We walk in with Lorelai, Rory and Mia. Mia is desperate to see a town meeting again, and we happily walk with her but we come to an abrupt stop when we see the entire town is already here.

     Are we late? We set off early. Me and Dad are never late to these things, no matter how much we dislike them.

     When people turn to look at us, everyone falls silent, and I suspect that there's a hidden meaning to this not-so-secret meeting. "What's going on?" Dad asks.

     "Uh, nothing."

     "The meeting was supposed to start at eight, Taylor. It's a minute to eight." I look around at the people who turn away from us to face Taylor, and I don't like the idea of people scheming behind our backs— if that's what they're doing.

     "You might as well be honest with him, Taylor," Patty tells him.

     "About what?"

     "Well, if you must know, there was a special issue that the business community had to deal with first, so we decided to start early tonight." I look around at these people, and I hardly recognise the majority of them. Also, to make matters worse, my dad is apart of the business community so why isn't he here?

     "I'm in the business community, and I wasn't told." The crowd begin to talk amongst themselves, and I want to know what's going on. "What's going on?"

     "Alright, fine! You weren't invited!" he shouts, and my eyes widen. This has escalated slightly.

     "And why is that?"

     "You weren't invited because we are dealing with the Jess situation," Taylor reveals, and I can't believe he didn't just drop this issue. To have the town discussing this behind our backs is ridiculous.

     Lorelai urges me to sit down, and we take a seat while my dad steps forward, obviously frustrated. "Damn it, Taylor!"

     "Luke, honey, calm down."

     "After all, this is all your doing. If you hadn't so cavalierly dismissed the issue, we wouldn't have had to do this." Taylor always has a way of turning the blame on other people when he is the only person who is in the wrong. "I lost business because of what your hooligan nephew did."

     "How was business lost, Taylor? If you had to open late that day, your customers just came back later."

     "Not so—" Oh, here we go. "When Mrs. Lanihan couldn't buy her head of lettuce for her lunch, she drove straight to Woodbury to buy lettuce from a competing market. Isn't that right, Mrs. Lanihan?" The woman sitting in front of me and Lorelai is completely deaf, and also the oldest person living in Stars Hollow. She won't be able to recall what she did as she can't hear the man at the front, and some part of me wishes I couldn't hear him either.

     Taylor continues on, "Word has it that she was telling other Doose Market shoppers that Woodbury lettuce is crisper. That's business flying out the door."

     I watch Dad walk by me, pulling out his wallet. "Okay, fine. How much is a head of lettuce— a buck?" He slams the money down onto the podium dramatically.

     "This goes well beyond a head of lettuce, young man. The charges against your nephew are numerous. He stole the "Save the Bridge" money..."

     "He gave that back," Dad interjects, and he only gave it back because I was forced to follow him into the market so he'd return it.

     "He stole a gnome from Babette's garden..."

     "Pierpon was also returned." Again, the gnome was returned because I had to follow him all the way to Babette's.

     Numerous people start to express their issues they have with Jess, and my eyes move from person to person, listening to the trouble my cousin is getting into without me even realising. I didn't even know that he was the one to set off the fire alarms in school, or that he was stealing hoses and hooting at dance classes.

     And then, the man who took over his dad's newspaper stand rises to his feet, and I groan as this man is one of the many few my father hates with a burning passion. "I think it's time for me to pipe in," he announces.

     "Oh, yeah, that'll be good."

     "I have every right. I'm a local entrepreneur." I roll my eyes, wishing we could go back in time and decide not to come here.

     "You took over your father's newsstand, Bootsy!" Luke shouts. "Doesn't make you an entrepreneur."

     "And you took over your old man's hardware store," Bootsy argues, and I sink further into my seat.

     "And turned it into a diner!" he argues.

     "Big whoop! Who can't fry an egg?"

     I listen to them argue, back and forth and back and forth, and this deep seated conflict goes beyond the Jess matter as this conflict has been going on since the first grade when Dad apparently accused Bootsy of sabotaging a clay imprint of his hand. How ridiculous.

     Taylor stops their argument, and Bootsy eventually sits down but Taylor continues to ramble on, "There is a consensus among townspeople who are in agreement that Stars Hollow was a better place before Jess got here."

     Dad begins to storm away from Taylor, and I tick down the seconds until the outburst.

     One. Two. Three.

     Snap.

     "Look, I've lived in this town my entire life, longer than most everybody here. I've never bothered anyone, I've kept to myself, and I've done the best I could. I raised my daughter— and you all like her, right? I pay my taxes, and I help people when I can. I haven't pitched in on the decorative, pageantry town stuff 'cause it seems insane to me, but I don't get in the way of that either."

     "What's your point?" Taylor asks.

     I rise to my feet to defend Dad, and Taylor groans, probably not ready to be yelled at by another Danes'. "His point is..." I look to Dad who nods towards me, urging me to take the floor. "If there's a problem— which there isn't— give him time to deal with it before you storm our diner with torches and pitchforks."

     "Lucy—"

     I ignore Taylor, and I continue on, "Lay off him because what you're all doing is cruel. Lay off him, and lay off us."

     "I'm done here. I'm done with all of you," Dad says, pointing his finger around the room. "Oh, and I was gonna stay open later in case anyone wanted to eat after the meeting. Forget that."

     We hear groaning, and Dad steps past me, snatching my arm so he can pull us out of this room before he hits somebody, and not another word is shared as we leave.

     I can't believe this town sometimes.

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authors note:

long ass chapter and kind of a filler thing

anyway, i uploaded a new one tree hill fanfiction with the love interest as nathan scott... go check it out if you like :)