❝NEVER GET AWAY❞
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹ chapter twenty-eight,
Gilmore Girls — Season Two

June 6th, 2001

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

[ LUCY'S POV ]

     THE PHONE IN MY HAND RINGS AGAIN. This is the fifteenth time it's rang in the past two weeks, and each time I let it go to voicemail because I can't bring myself to answer. I know who awaits for me on the other end, and I simply can't talk to him.

     It's been three weeks since our... breakup and we haven't spoken on the phone or in person. Tristan has been leaving me a voicemail every single day for the last two weeks, and I've failed to open any of them. I currently have about fifteen messages to open, but I'm too afraid to listen to the contents of said messages.

     Sometimes I wonder if I should listen to one because it's not like I'm going to delete his number anytime soon. I can't bring myself to rid of him entirely because what if there's still a chance for us? What if we get a second chance?

    I'm pathetic. Still hung up on my ex-boyfriend. However, I think he really does want to speak to me. I mean, fifteen voicemails sit in my cellphone so he must want to see me, talk to me, right?

     Perhaps I should just listen to one.

     Just one.

     Screw it, I'm going to.

     I hit the voicemail from two weeks ago and I hold the phone to my ear. When I hear Tristan's voice, the overwhelming ache in my chest comes back, and I hold a hand against my beating heart to stop myself from panicking.

     I take a deep breath, and I listen, "Hey, Blue. It's day one of trying to win you back. I, uh, thought about you today and I thought I'd call. I'm not surprised you didn't answer. Maybe you don't want to, you know, see me ever again, and I get that but I'm not going to stop trying. I think we have something, Lucy. No, I know we have something here, and I'm so sorry I couldn't say those words to you, I just..." He pauses, and I hear him sigh. "It's really hard for me, Lucy, you have no idea, and I... I just miss you. I'm sorry."

     I lower the phone from my ear, and I stare at it in my hand. One down, fourteen more to go but I refuse to listen to anymore. Hearing his voice once was hard enough, hearing it enough fourteen times will only hurt me.

Every single part of me wants to see him. I miss him more than he'll ever know— more than anyone knows— and I want to run off and see him. Is that pathetic? Probably, but I don't care. He's right in saying that we have something because I truly believe that we do.

But perhaps I threw it all away like a fool.

"Hey, kid. You okay?" I peer over at my dad who I didn't even realise was at the door, and I nod but I don't know if I'm entirely okay.

"Uh, yeah."

Me and Dad have exciting plans to sit and do... nothing because tonight it's Lorelai Gilmore's engagement party. Sookie invited us last week, and I knew that my dad wouldn't go. Hell, I knew I wouldn't be going, not to a party that celebrates love when I can barely muster up a smile.

I promised I'd try and distract Dad from the fact that Lorelai will be getting married to somebody who isn't him. To distract him, we decided to stack ketchup bottles on top of one another so we can get keep all ketchup in less bottles.

Real fun stuff, right?

Honestly, I've never concentrated so hard on anything in my life as I lift another bottle up. "You know..." I place another ketchup bottle on top of the one Dad just places down. "Weddings aren't really my thing. We've never been to one, have we?" I balance another bottle carefully, and I hold my breath. "Oh, my God."

"I think you get that from me, and no we haven't been to a wedding before," Dad says, shifting one of the bottles to avoid it crashing.

"Addy told me that every young girl thinks of their wedding," I say, recalling the conversation me and Addy had a couple days ago. "And it made me think of how I've never, ever thought about it, you know?"

     "Okay."

"Do you ever wanna get married, Dad?" I ask, and Dad sighs, obviously not expecting the question. It's a question that holds great weight, a question that I've never asked my dad because he always seems so opposed to weddings, but I'd like to think that he's considered getting married.

I think he'll get married one day. He's not exactly old, so he still has his whole life in front of him, and he's a catch, right? He's a successful  businessman, he has me— a pretty cool kid— and he's doing well in his life.

My dad exhales, and he places both hands on the counter. I place my ketchup bottle down to hear what he has to say. "I don't know, kid, I have you to consider, you know? If I got married, she'd be your stepmom, and..." He pushes a ketchup bottle towards me, and I catch it in my hand. "I don't know, okay? I'll let you know if I do get married though."

I grin, my eyes rolling. "Oh good, I'd like to think you'd tell your own child about getting married, Dad."

"Do you want to?" he asks.

I raise a brow, confused. "Do I want you to get married, or do I want to get married?"

He shrugs. "Both."

"I'd like to one day," I say without hesitation. "But I want to only be married once, you know? I want it to work the first time." I want to find the perfect guy the first time around, and I want to have the perfect life with that one guy, whoever he may be. "And, as for you, I'd like you to get married, but only to the right woman."

And the right woman for my dad is Lorelai Gilmore, I think.

"Do you think I'll find her?" he asks, and I nod confidently because he's already found her.

"You'll find her, Dad," I assure.

"And you'll find your person too, kid." I shrug, a little unsure if I will find my somebody, but I definitely want to one day. "Personally, I think you should elope and get it over with when you do find your somebody."

"My Dad, ladies and gentlemen," I scoff.

I place another ketchup bottle down, and Dad looks at me carefully, noticing that there's something I want to talk about. He knows me too damn well to know when there's something going on in my head so it's no surprise that he asks, "Lucy, what's going on?"

"Tristan called again," I say without hesitating. Dad suspected that Tristan had been the one to call me repeatedly over the last two weeks, and now I'm confirming it. "I listened to one of the messages and..." I shrug. "I don't know, I just miss him, I guess."

"Luce, it's selfish for him to keep calling you. You should be moving on but he's that impossible. I swear, I'll go over and there and—"

"Dad," I say strictly. "It's fine, okay? I don't wanna get rid of him entirely. He is— was— a big part of my life and I can't just delete him from it."

"I know, kid," he sighs. "Do you think you'll get back together?"

I shrug, unsure if we will but I hold hope that we will. "I don't know," I say honestly. "Maybe. What do you think?"

"I want you to do whatever makes you happy, Luce, okay?" I nod, and he smiles sadly at me. "If you really do want to be with him again, let me know before I kill the kid."

"Yeah, I will."

We fall silent, and we continue to stack our bottles and watch the ketchup drip slowly into the bottles below. I swear, ketchup has gotten slower, and it's kind of relaxing to just sit and watch it.

But I also hate the silence so I have to speak again before I go absolutely insane. "Dad..."

"Luce..." he says in the same condescending tone, and I scoff.

"You should be out there," I say softly, tilting my head backwards to the window. "It's Lorelai's engagement party and you're in here stacking ketchup bottles with your daughter." Believe me, I love spending time with my dad— I always have— and he knows that, but I still hate that he would rather spend time with me over anyone else in town. He should be out there, contributing to the party and being there for Lorelai as she is still his friend after all.

"I like stacking ketchup bottles with you."

I grin, crossing my arms over my chest. "Thanks, dad, I do too," I assure. "But you're not okay with Lorelai getting married, and we've not spoken about it because I didn't want to pry but you—"

I'm suddenly cut off when the door to the diner opens, the bell sounding loudly, and I turn my head to find Lorelai Gilmore. "Hey," she says, and it's almost like we freaking summoned her.

"Hey. Why aren't you at your party?" Dad asks, his eyes shifting from me to Lorelai.

"That's funny. I was about to ask you two the same thing," she replies, and I had every intention of going, but I promised I'd stay here with Dad and keep him company. I don't wish to celebrate love when I don't exactly love love myself at the moment so...

"Oh, well, I just got kind of busy here," Dad claims, and it's not a complete lie, but we can definitely join Lorelai outside because we're stacking ketchup bottles for entertainment.

"I can see that," she responds. "Boy, they keep making that ketchup slower and slower, huh?"

Dad nods. "It's the Heinz family's little joke."

Lorelai chuckles, and then she sighs. "Boy, it's really pretty crazy out there."

"Oh, I can imagine."

"Lots of people all having fun— just the kind of thing you'd hate," she retorts, and I grin because it is something he would hate, but it's not just for that reason. "You would be miserable."

"Oh, yes, I would."

"In spite of all that, I was kind of thinking— and you don't have to— that maybe you could pull yourself away for a second," Lorelai suggests, and I do hope my dad agrees despite his feelings. "I mean, finish the ketchup tonight, but leave the Worcestershire sauce for tomorrow."

"I'll see how it goes."

"Okay. I mean, it's just..." She pauses, and I feel a hand on my shoulder. "It's a really big night for me tonight, and it just feels like you should be there. Both of you." Dad smiles, as do I because I would really like to join her but only if my dad does. "Anyway... I'll let you get back to your ketchup."

She chuckles, and we watch Lorelai walk away and out the diner.

I turn my head back towards Dad, and I see his smile drop. "You said that, if you ever get married, you'd have to consider me, right?" He nods, obviously not understanding where I'm going with this. "Well, I can safely say that... when you get married, don't consider me, okay? Consider yourself, dad, and always put yourself first. Whoever makes you happy in the future will make me happy, okay?"

Dad places a hand upon mine. "Kid, I'm always going to consider you whether you like that or not."

"I know," I reply. "But I don't ever want you to hold back because you're looking out for me, okay? I'm getting older, and as much as I love and need you in my life, I'm a big girl and I just want you to be happy."

I clear my throat and continue, "Rachel wasn't the one, Dad, she never was, and neither were the other woman. But there will be somebody out there, I can promise you that."

"Yeah, I know."

"And no matter who you end up with, I'm not exactly going anywhere," I tell him. "You'll always be the person I go to. I'll still need you when I'm older, and I know you'll still need me, but when you're ready to find that person, let me know, okay?"

"You're very mature, you know that?"

"I've been told." Many times. "Now, how about we go and show our support to Lorelai. No matter how you feel Dad, she's still your friend and she wants you there."

Dad sighs, admitting defeat. "Okay, but we're finishing these first."

We take a step outside once we finish the ketchup bottles, and we stand awkwardly— just like we said we would— and watch as Lorelai and Max dance together with the crowd. There's gifts upon gifts stacked on the gazebo, a group of young girls dancing with Patty, and lots of food made by Sookie for everyone to enjoy.

Lorelai waves to us when she sees us, and I look to my dad with a frown because I know how he feels. I know this all hurts, but he'll learn to accept this and move on.

And I think I have to do the same.

I step away from my dad, telling him that I need to do something quickly before I rejoin the party. He sits with some dancers dressed in big white dresses while I step away and hold my phone up to my ear.

The next voicemail plays in my ear, "Hey, Blue. It's day two of trying to win you back, and I thought about you today. Me and my sister got into an argument because I didn't take her to dance practise again. I've not been the best brother, I don't know why, and I feel horrible. She knows I'm upset, but she doesn't know how to help. She keeps asking about you, and I haven't got a clue what to say. I just miss you, and I'm sorry again. Really sorry."

I lower my phone, and I slip it into my pocket before I rejoin my dad who has moved away from the bench before the girls pester him.

He wraps an arm around my shoulders, allowing me to crash my head against his shoulder helplessly. "I know you're upset about Tristan, and I know it'll take a while to get over him, but is there any part of you that really doesn't want to move on?"

Every part of me doesn't want to move on. Every part of me can't move on.

"I don't want to move on," I admit. "I love him, Dad, and I know he doesn't love me but..."

"I know you want to talk to him," Dad interrupts, and I lift my head to look at him. "Kid, if I felt the same way you feel about Tristan towards somebody, I wouldn't let them go, do you understand me?"

Of course I understand, but that doesn't change the fact that Tristan doesn't love me in that way, right? Unless he does, but I would know if he did. I'd know, wouldn't I?

"Listen to the rest of the voicemails, Luce."

"But—"

Dad squeezes my arm. "Listen to them."

I end up taking my dad's advice, and I sit upstairs in the apartment with my phone pressed to my ear as I go through the last thirteen voicemails he left.

The third voicemail speaks, "Hey, Blue. It's day three of trying to win you back, and I had a test today before summer begins. Think it went well, I wish I could've celebrated with you. Anyway, summer is beginning soon. I bet Stars Hollow is beautiful in the summer. I'm sorry again, hope you're well."

I play the fourth, "Hey, Blue. It's day four of trying to win you back, and I just miss you today. There isn't much to tell except that I miss you. I'm sorry."

The fifth reads, "Hey, Blue. Day five of trying to win you back, and I had a pretty nasty fall today. Lisa asked me to climb the tree in our yard, and because I'm awesome, I did, but I miscalculated my step and fell. Aren't I an idiot? I'm sure you'd laugh. Anyway, I'm sorry, and I hope you're okay."

I play the sixth one, and listen closely, "Hey, Blue. It's day six of trying to win you back, and I actually called to tell you that I drove through Stars Hollow. I took another car— it's not my car— because I didn't want anyone to recognise me in case they tried to kill me. They would kill me, wouldn't they? Even Patty... That's a scary thought honestly. Anyway, I'm glad I didn't see you because I would've jumped out the car and rushed to you. I hope you're okay, I miss you, and I'm sorry."

The seventh plays while I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Hey, Blue. We're on day seven of me trying to win you back, and I got into an argument with my dad because I told him I wasn't going to Princeton. God, I don't know why I said it but I did. I don't want to go, and I told him. Wish I could've told you in person. I'm sorry, and I hope you're okay."

I walk down to the diner while the eighth one plays in my ear, "Hey, Blue. It's day eight of trying to win you back, and I ran away from home. Only for a few hours, but I couldn't stand to be in that house. I contemplated running straight to you but I thought that would be selfish of me to do, especially since you're trying to move on. I'm so sorry, Luce. I hope you're good."

I step outside the diner, walk across the grass to find my dad and I ask him if I can borrow the keys to the truck for an hour or two. He hesitates but he hands me the keys and demands that I call and return home before ten.

The ninth one plays while I sit in the truck, "Hey, Blue. Day nine of trying to win you back. Technically, it's been three weeks since we broke up but I only started calling nine days ago because I wanted to give you at least a week before I uprooted your life. God, I'm sorry. I really hope you're doing well."

The tenth one plays, silencing my music as I drive out of Stars Hollow. "Hey, Blue. It's day ten of trying to win you back, and I decided to write everything down. Remember when I told you that I wanted to be a writer? Well, I thought that writing my feelings down would be better. I think I came to a conclusion, and I don't know how I didn't see this before, you know? Anyway, I'm really sorry again, and I... I miss you."

When the eleventh one plays, I'm already barreling down the road towards Hartford, and there's no turning back. "Hey, Blue. Day eleven of trying to win you back, and Billy Joel's "Vienna" played today. My sister loves Billy Joel, can you believe that? I refused to leave my room today. I'm pathetic, and if you saw me, you'd kick me. I'm sorry to keep doing this, I hope you're well."

The twelfth one plays, and all I want to know is what this conclusion he came to is. "Hey, Blue. Day twelve of trying to win you back has made me realise that I must sound more and more pathetic everyday, right? Anyway, I'm sorry, and I miss you."

I have to stop myself crying when the thirteenth one plays, "Hey, Blue. It's day thirteen of trying to win you back, and I know thirteen is technically unlucky but I have some hope today, I don't know why. Some part of me wants to see you and tell you everything, tell you how deeply sorry I am in person, but another part has to leave you alone, right? You deserve to be happy, and if I don't make you happy then... Anyway, I'm sorry, and I hope you're okay, Luce."

I'm closer and closer to him when the fourteenth one plays, "Hey, Blue. It's day fourteen of trying to win you back, and I've been writing more and more each day, trying to understand why I'm so afraid. I think I'm close to finally accepting everything. I miss you deeply, and I'm so sorry."

I pull up to his house when the final one plays, "Hey, Blue. It's day fifteen of trying to win you back, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm in love with you. Today is supposed to be our seventh month anniversary, and all I want to do is rush over to Stars Hollow and tell you that I love you. I don't know why it took me this long to realise it, but I'm afraid I've screwed it all up because I was too late. Please, don't let me be too late. I'm sorry, and I love you, Luciana."

I stand outside his door, phone clutched in my hand, and I pound on the front door. It's nearly nine o'clock and I have no idea if his parents are in, but I couldn't care less.

The door swings open, and Tristan stands on the other side of the door in sweats.

"Lucy, you're—"

I barge forward, take his face in my hands, and I crash my lips against his. The kiss was anything but slow, it was desperate and needy, it was everything I've missed the past three weeks. I don't know what I was thinking. Did I seriously think I could escape this for three weeks without craving it? I'm insane.

     Tristan takes my face into his hands, and I push up onto my tiptoes to bring my face closer, allowing Tristan to open and close his mouth against mine. He kisses me with fire, with passion, with strength, and I curl my arms around his neck while he reaches down and holds my waist to his.

     Even when we pull back, we stay close, our foreheads pressed together. I lean back in to push a final, lingering kiss to his lips just as he says, "Blue, it's day fifteen and I love you."

     "I love you," I repeat, bringing his face back down to mine in a soul-crushing kiss.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

authors note:

i know they weren't separated for long but this is a story and i simply don't care... this is a fanfiction and everything is gon be happy x

they're meant to be, right?

this voicemail thing is a silly idea i came up with. i wanted them to get back together but i wanted him to beg x

p.s. i imagine silver springs by fleetwood mac playing during their rekindle