Theadora james isn't new to unwanted fame. she'd practically been born into its shadow. the swifts moved in next door the year before she was born and by the time she'd learned to walk, their daughter taylor was on every screen in america.

thea was an only child. lonely by default, but not always alone—because taylor and austin had always been there. taylor was everything she wanted to be: soft-spoken but untouchable, girlish but invincible, glittering and golden and already gone by the time thea was old enough to realize she needed her. and austin, thirteen years older, was like a fairytale brother: tall, protective, funny, the kind of guy who threatened imaginary bullies and called her "squirt." she didn't know if kids left her alone because they liked her or because they were afraid of the swift siblings; she never asked.

but taylor was different. theadora didn't just admire her—she orbited her.

it started small. the doorbell on a school night. a quiet knock just past dinnertime. "hey, tay...is it okay if i come in?" no explanation. just big eyes and bare feet and an unspoken understanding.

⸻

MARCH 8, 2015 — 10 YEARS AGO

Theadora is nine when she presses the receiver so tightly to her ear she thinks her palm might bruise. her voice is soft, fragile. "tay? my mom's acting weird again. can i come over?"

taylor doesn't hesitate. "of course you can. i'm the only one home." the line went dead.

barely two minutes later there is a frantic knocking at the front door. taylor crosses the kitchen and opens it to find theadora standing there—barefoot, disheveled, cheeks sticky with tears and tangled hair pasted to her face. she looks like she'd run through a hurricane and lost.

taylor's heart broke in that way only someone who's watched a child try to hide their fear can understand. she opens her arms and pulls thea in. "thea..."

"can i sleep over?" the girl mumbles against her shirt. "my agent's picking me up in the morning. mom signed off on it earlier, so it's fine."

taylor pulls back slightly. "you're going alone?"

"yeah," thea says this like it was no big deal. like it wasn't another red flag. "i've got an audition." her eyes suddenly lit up. "oh! i forgot to tell you!"

taylor plays along. "tell me what?"

"i'm auditioning for a netflix show with winona ryder!" she beams.

"no way!" taylor smiles, ushering her into the kitchen. "that's amazing, thee." she hands the girl a glass of water, watching the way her fingers tremble around the rim. "what happened with your mom?"

theadoras smile falters. "nothing."

taylor didn't buy it. "thea."

"i said it's nothing." and the way her voice drops—sharp, cold, like a razorblade—stops taylor mid-thought. thea narrows her eyes and looks suddenly older. "i was bored and i missed you. that's all."

taylor opens her mouth, closes it again. then simply settles on, "tell me about the audition."

⸻

APRIL 21, 2019 — SIX YEARS AGO

The house smelt like something rotting.

theadora steps through the door, over discarded bottles and dirty laundry. "mom?" she calls, trying to keep her voice even.

nothing. her eyes scan the living room.

anne james lay crumpled like a broken marionette—limbs slack, eyes half-closed, skin gray at the edges. there were pills on the floor and an open vodka bottle on the table. thea's heart thuds once, hard.

this isn't new, but something about the silence was. "mom?" her voice cracks as she drops to her knees. she touches her mother's neck, her wrist. a pulse—but faint. she isn't even sure if she's feeling it right.

with shaking fingers she dials 911. "i think my mom's overdosing," she tells the operator. "no, it's just me and her...i'm thirteen."

thea runs to open the door for the paramedics, blood roaring in her ears. she stands on the front lawn, arms wrapped tight around herself, watching as they wheel anne into the ambulance. she calls taylor. "tay, i found her passed out." her voice is flat like her mouth can't keep up with the storm in her chest. "can you meet me at the hospital?"

⸻

Taylor was already waiting when thea arrived. she says nothing, just reaches for the girl's hand and holds it as the doctor explains everything in hushed tones.

later taylor asks gently, "why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"i could handle it," thea says, chin high like a soldier standing at attention. the doctor returns, gives her a nod. she asks if she can see anne. taylor rises to join her but thea holds up a hand. "i'd like to go alone."

inside the hospital room anne looks awake. alert. alive.

"mom," thea breathes. "i'm so glad you're okay."

anne doesn't look at her. "get out."

thea blinks. "what?"

"i don't want to see you. get out."

"you were dying." her voice wavers. "i called 911. i saved your—"

"they're sending me to rehab because of you," anne snaps. "you're just like your father. selfish, always needy. god, you make me sick."

thea flinches like she'd been slapped. "i pay the bills, mom. i've kept us going."

anne's eyes narrow to slits. "get. out."

so she did. she closes the door and walks back to the waiting room, where taylor stands instantly. "how'd it go?" she asks softly.

theadora doesn't answer. "can i stay with you?"

taylor doesn't hesitate. "of course. i'm going back to L.A. next week though—"

"i'll come with you." thea doesn't look her in the eyes. "i've got an audition. video call."

"what for?"

"netflix pilot," she mutters. she doesn't want to talk about it, not really. just wants to disappear.

and two months later she finally would.