𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭, 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐞.

𝖭𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋  𝟤，𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣
𝗹𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗵'𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝘃

"hey its nice to see you again" he looks so beautiful right now, his blue shirt makes his eyes pop. "i'm picking up an order"

"hey let me go check on that for you"

"mr.c! did you finish that pick up order for cameron" with grace i remove my name tag before he notices it.

"almost finished lilith by my sometime, hon" he whispers to me at the order pickup spot.

"okay so your order is almost ready" smiling at him he scratches the back of his neck as he says "thank you for driving me home the other day i'm beyond grateful"

"no biggie, i do what i can. every good deed counts somewhere you know" idiot! what the fuck are you saying right now.

"well how's your day going so far?" my glorious attempt at small talk to shy away from what i just spewed out my mouth.

"pretty well, but it'd be better if i finally get your name. all i got from kie was that its li- something" laughing i agree to remain a mystery to this boy until a later date.

"orders up!" handing rafe his meal my fingers graze his, a small spark made it's way through me. locking eyes with him before he leaves never getting my name. ha ha ha! remaining a mystery. there's so much fun in that.

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"so we meet again!" i'm heading home from school when i hear his voice from his car. placing my headphones on my neck "hey"

"you need a ride" he looks at me with an expression that's almost desperate for my presence in the car or in his orbit. smiling i said "i'd appreciate that"

"get in"

"i'll put my address in the gps"

"go ahead did i already thank you for the other night" i smile again "you did rafe"

"ok" he nods as he fixes a playlist to play. it isn't awkward the silence we share it feels loud like we want to talk to each other for hours. but i remain silent as i watch him.

it seems more tormenting to him as he taps the steering wheel his eyes lock on mine as he comes to a stop light.

"make the next right turn in a half a mile"

"how was your day?" i ask trying to hide my amusement since he's singing one of the songs to himself.

"wasn't to bad, classes are going well, actually for my english class we're reading pride and prejudice"

"i've read it, which part did you get up to"

"where mr.darcy realizes his feelings for— wait is that your name elizabeth, and people call you lizzie for short" the elation in his face i'm about to fuck up his small joy.

"nope. not even close"

"your destination is on the right" pulling the car into a spot he fully turns to me as he says "when are you gonna tell me"

"when i feel like i should tell"

his hands up in surrender "i'll be patient, promise"

"ok" i wink at him as i leave him to his thoughts "thanks again!"

waiting until i make it inside he then leaves.

smiling to myself i go put my book bag down and get a snack.

"lilith! are you home!" my dad shouts from upstairs.

"yeah dad!"

"i wasn't— expecting you so early! ummm"

"spit it out!"

dads behind me now as he says "the person i've been seeing is upstairs"

"i'll text har and ivor to tell them to come home later. heading to the library right now. just let me finish preparing my snack" i whisper to my father who is now beside me.

"you know i love you" he says his tone cheerful and soft.

"i love you too dad, don't do anything i wouldn't do" picking my backpack up i leave the house with my snack. locking the door i make my way.

ivor and har are in shambles in the group chat over our father having a "booty call".

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"foolish, foolish girl" whispering to myself as my math work had a mistake.

"wait say that again" ivor is whispering on the phone while harley is in the zone with her music playing in her ears.

it's not blasting because this is a public library not like a college library.

i'm almost finished my last homework is history i thought to myself as i pull it out.

"what? is she okay?"

ivor faces spews concern, dread. "i'm coming now, i'll be home in time for dinner"

nodding i watch him leave in a frantic state his keys in hand.

25 minutes later i'm finished. stretching as i raise from my chair. checking harley's computer she's on the conclusion.

my book bag is organized and everything's away i'm waiting for har now.

"one more homework and then we are outta here and eating"

smiling i ask "need any help this could go faster"

"sure darling we have some trigonometry and pre-calculus"

"completely forgot you got some honor classes. okay lets get to work"

thirty minutes later "ahhh finally!" harley whisper shouts as she gets up to stretch. 

"we can head home now"

"let's"

"dad, we're home?" harley spoke as we walk through the door. walking into the dining room the table is already set with food. the woman my dads been seeing is ms.vivian from the restaurant. makes sense why she has been smiling so much at her phone while eating. she's already seated at the table with a glass of wine in her hands, "hey kids the tables ready just come wash your hands and go sit. ivor called and said he's on his way" he spoke from the kitchen.

vivian didn't see me since her back is turned towards me making my way to the place we turn family traditions into beautiful meals.

"ugh dad vivian is the woman you met" my whisper makes him smile. nodding i can't help but feel proud since she is stunning.

"dad is there someone here still there's a cute jacket and handbag on the couch"

"she's in the dining room waiting for us to eat"

"come on then" ivor walks in as harley says this.

our dinner goes on without a hitch, vivian's very poetic to listen to she has so many stories of her traveling days. she's very happy with meeting dad and getting to know us. she's got the same banter we do. vivian is genuine which i appreciate.

dad heads to walk her outside and i'm fixated on ivor as he keeps checking his phone. "is everything ok?"

"hmm yea, yea i'm just really preoccupied in my head right now"

my gut says don't believe him "nope somethings wrong what is it?"

"i'm not going tell you okay. i tell you another time"

"you've both used that card on me so when it's my turn don't question me"

"we won't" they both say in unison.

since no one is going to talk i head up to my room to drown myself in the book world. how much can a heart take by lucky daye ft yebba. my music in my ears so i couldn't hear when my dad came in.

almost jumping out of my skin i take my headphones off "dad?"

"hey hon did you really like vivian, i already got your brother and sisters opinions"

"dad didn't i tell you before dinner started vivian is a great match for you, i really like her. she meshes well with us even though its only one dinner. she feels very light and bright. we've been in a cloud of darkness for a while now. so i think she'd be good for us" his smile says it all he's a man soon to be in the thralls of loving another human soul.

my spiel continues "get any universal signs before you found her"

he laughs "mmm sorta i met her at the grocery store in town, i was picking up dinner for us all the aisle with all the bagged salads. talking to myself about what harleys palate was like"

"your daughters might like this one" is what she said "your son though is more like you so this one" she continued her smile was blinding. i felt like i was in the summertime watching her smile at me. slight nerves hit because how did she know i have three kids. she said lilith talks about you at work to the customers sometimes and she blabbers about her family" my father nudges me as he keeps talking " before our encounter my eyes keep traveling to the sun. funny enough her perfume was in the air even though she was nowhere near me at times. her specific one. the last thing that occurred was as if slow motion but in daydreams i'd see her face light up i didn't know her or her name or why i saw this woman's face but"

i smile at him he has never lit up this much since before mom turned into a sour patch kid. my favorite way to describe what she turned into.

"happy for you dad"

"thanks princess for listening"

"always"

as if queued up my mind drifts to the guy my heart beats for in the middle of the night, the one who occupies space in my brains compartmentalized computer files. titled: rafe.

sighing i drop onto the bed, my earphones go back in as my mind fantasizes.

i'd see him in the distance and kinda jump in my spot. the smile on his face would tell me i'm all his. "lili you look divine" his voice like velvet butter—

"okay. i'm ready to talk!" harley's voice takes me from my music.

"talk about?" my face all in concern.

"so something happened to me and i wasn't ready to talk before but" harley closes my door as she comes to sit on my bed. seeing the tears well up in her eyes make me think calm myself down so i don't cry now "i recently went to a party before the halloween party i didn't get to take you with me because it was last minute. school was kicking my ass and i wanted to get fucked up—"

i don't say much because i just want to hear her out. listening is a skill not well learned by us humans. we tend to interject and make the person feel like we are listening but it just doesn't need to be done that way. giving her my undivided attention is the way to go.

"maybe by my third drink i felt more than drunk. but i never put my drinks down. groggy, stumbling one of my friends you know her fiona she got me to a room. she stayed with me until i fell asleep. she said she'd check on me which she did but—" her tears dropping like rain. a breeze through my window giving me chills. shivering as she says, "naked. fiona found me with no clothes on. blood under my nails must've scratched whoever did it. a couple of bruises. one huge hand print on my neck from strangulation. i was raped lili" whispering the last part made it hit harder at my chest.

"harley!" i hug her as tears fall down my face why didn't she tell me before.

"i know what you're thinking. wasn't ready to say it out loud all the police investigation hasn't began yet. i got a rape kit at the hospital, they found dna"

"why hasn't the investigation started?"

"must tell dad first then reach out to the detective as soon as possible i need your support to tell him. spoiling his night isn't my intention but i'm up for the challenge now. couldn't look him in the eye for awhile over this"

"shame. disgust. the idea that he'd blame me"

"harley blake soto don't you know pop would be in shambles he would never blame you. let's go" holding her hand.

"daddy, where are you?" calling into the hallway of our home.

"princess in my office" his office is two doors down from my room. his tone is late night work mode which always puts a smile on my face. it's late night radio voice.

"woah. sweethearts what's going on?" standing he comes to hug us. wiping our tears in the same moment.

"har has to tell you something please don't freak out. ivor doesn't know he is last on her list to tell" i nod her way to signal go ahead.

ever get those moments where tension is builds in the anticipation of an announcement that you just want the band-aid ripped off. this is me in this moment.

my tears flowing again as i sniffle.

"dad i wa— raped" har sighs as i feel the tension release in her hand which i'm holding, combing its way to her shoulders.

astonishment is written all over dads face.

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✎ sunjewel☀︎︎ typing ...

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