»CHAPTER SEVEN
❛ I believe in you ❜
( episode seven, season one )

𝗔 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗢𝗙
hours later, the group of four stood in an little abandoned stable. Kaz had grabbed everything they had left and placed it onto the wooden cart that stood in their middle.

The several things that laid on the cart consisted of a couple of Kruger, Kaz cane, a paper roll and some small black stick.

Estelle raise her eyebrows as she corssed her arms over her chest and eyed the few things, "Is that really all we have left?"

Inej groaned softly besides her as she presssed her hand onto her wound again, making the others look at her worried.

"Jesper, my bag", the Suli instructed the young man as she pointed to the tiny bag that stood on a box.

The woman slowly lifted her bright blue blouse up and eyed the deep cut that still bleeded. Jesper's gaze fell onto the cut as he handed her the bag making him gag in disgust. "Mother of saints!"

Inej slowly laid onto the ground and pulled a little needle out of her bag as she breathed heavily. "It's not healing on it's own. El, I need you to stich it."

The black haired girl nodded her head as she kneeled down besides her friend and carefully took the needle out of her hand.

"How long before you can travel?", Kaz asked them silently. "Not long. Where?", Inej asked as she searched for a string.

"Ketterdam", Kaz answered which made Inej and Estelle look at him immediately. He looked at the group a repentant look on his face, "Between our dwindling funds, lack of time and conflicting interests, it's time we cut losses."

Estelle watched the man as he turned around and walked out of the door.

"I guess the bastard misses the Barrel", Jesper let out a breath as his gaze fell back onto the two women, who still sat on the dirty ground.

"Ready?", Estelle asked Inej as she held the needle over the cut, Inej nodded as she deeply breathed out.

Estelle gave her an apologizing look before she began to quickly stitch the wound. Jesper suddenly groaned in the background as he looked away.

"You can watch a bullet tear through a man, but a needle's too much?", Estelle asked him not looking at her friend as she contiued to stitch the wound.

"It- Yeah, well, you see, bullets are bam, in and out. That's- that's just-", he gluped again as Estelle carefully stabbed the needle through the wound.

"Where did you learn to do that?", he then questioned her as he tried to calm himself down.

"We learned it both at the Menagerie", Inej answered him, still heavily breathing. "Yeah, but why would you- Oh, that's dark."

Inej inhaled deeply as she looked back at Jesper, "Which is why we can't go back."

Jesper smiled slightly as he pointed at her wound, "Well, if you told Kaz that story, I think he murder Heleen himself."

Estelle turned around to him as she stopped the stitching, "Jesper, you're not hearing her. We can't go back!"

An expression of realization made it's way onto Jesper's face as he looked at the two. "Well, I was- I was going to tell you to trust Kaz and that he'd never let you go back, but- I don't have the right to tell you what you should do with your shot at freedom."

Estelle was finished with stitching and turned around to him, touched by his words as she smiled sadly. "You make this a lot harder, you know."

Jesper smiled sweetly as he had his hands on his hips and shrugged, "I know. I'd miss me too."

The two woman chuckled but Jesper wasn't finished, "I'm fantastic." Inej let out a small laugh as Estelle slowly helped her onto her feet.

The Suli grabbed her little bag and slowly made her way outside, leaving Jesper and Estelle to themselves.

The two stood next to each other, looking after her as Estelle suddenly spoke up. "You're right, I'm gonna miss you."

The young man looked at her smiling as he patted her shoulder before he left as well.

Estelle had a small smile on her face as she thought about the fact that she had really managed to find a second family in her completly messed up life.

The day went by and it was already dark outside as Estelle left Inej and Jesper to look if Kaz was still alive.

She grabbed his cane from the box and slowly opened the wooden door before she stepped out into the darkness.

She immediately spotted Kaz by the fire he made. "Are you hungry?", his voice asked her as he had his back turned towards her but the black haired girl remained silent as she approached him.

She stopped as she arrived by his side, "Or are you just saying goodbye?"

Estelle handed him his cane, "Jesper fixed your cane. Good as new."

Kaz remained silent as he softly took it from her hand. She eyed him, a sad look on her face as he placed his hands on his cane and starred into the fire. "So, you really are leaving?"

Estelle's breath hitched in her throat as her eyes started to tear up, "That's it? After everything, there's nothing else you want to say to me?"

"What else is there to say?"

Estelle inhaled quietly before she slowly nodded and turned towards the stables again. "You know you and Inej were right!"

She suddenly stopped in her trail and spun around, "About what?"

"The Sun Summoner- you were right, she's real." A small smile made it's way onto the woman's face, "Really?" She raised an eyebrow as she walked back towards him and sat down.

"I played it over and over in my head. None of it's a trick. The light was hers", Kaz admitted as he looked at the tattooed woman.

"So, what? Kaz Brekker finally belives in Saints and admits that he isn't always right?" He broke the eye contact as he shook his head, "Hardly."

Estelle furrowed her eyebrows as she still looked at the man, "But you just said that-"

"I said Alina Starkov is a Grisha with the power to manipulate light. She's a girl with a gift, not some savior of lore."

Estelle sighed as she rolled with her eyes, it was really a miracle, one moment the man made her blush and in the next he made her wanted to commit murder.

"Fine then. Kaz, I just want to ask you one thing, what do you believe in?"

He contiued to stare at the fire as he held onto his cane, the shadows of the fire dancing across his face. "Myself."

Estelle scoffed loudly as she turned away from him, "Why did I even ask."

"And you", he quickly added, which made her look at him again. There was a long silence before he slowly continued, "- and Jesper, and Inej."

Estelle fully turned towards him as she gave the man a soft look, "My crows."

"Seriously?", she questioned, Kaz nodded his head before he directly looked into her eyes. "Crows don't just remember the face of people who wronged them. They also remember those who were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for."

Estelle bit her lower lip as she broke the intensive eye contact and looked into the dark night, "No Saint ever watched over me." The black haired woman gazed back at him, "—Not like you have."

They stared at each other as Estelle let out a shaking breath, but then Kaz broke the eye contact and watched the fire once more.

The woman swallowed hardly before she spoke up again, "Kaz, I can't go back to the menagerie, neither can Inej. You know that."

"You won't", the man assured her before the two nodded at each other and contiued to stare into the complete darkness of the night.

Estelle had this warm feeling in her stomach that spread through her entried body.

She could sit there all night talking to Kaz, she felt safe with him, the two just had this special connection.

The next morning the four friends contiued their way towards the Fold, where they had left Arkens small train behind.

Estelle's eyes wandered towards the Fold that laid behind hit, lightnings shot through the air and loud growing could be heard.

Estelle laid in-between Inej and Kaz as they all watched the two Solider's, who approached the train, their only chance on getting home.

"How many are there?", Inej asked as she contiued to look staright ahead. "Two. At some point, one of them will have to go tell a superior what they found. We'll go in then", Kaz answered them quickly.

Jesper furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at his friend, "Not to be that person, Kaz, but are you sure you can drive that thing?"

Kaz gave him a annoyed look, "Yes! On the way to Kribirsk, while you were busy hugging bait-"

"Milo! The goats name was Milo!", Jesper interrupted him as he held his gun in his hand.

"-I was memorizing Arken's timings."

Estelle's head snapped towards him, "Not to gang up on you, but he has a point. Arken's system was complicated and the ride was chaotic."

Kaz head snapped towards her, giving her a glare. "No one would blame you for missing a beat", she immediately added as she gave him an understanding look.

"Jes?", was the only thing Kaz asked her as he frowned at the woman.

"It's Suli for friendship, right Inej?", Jesper spoke up as he had a wide smile on his face.

"No, it's not", the woman chuckled at him as she playfully pushed him away.

"Trust me. Arken and I think alike", he told them but their conversation was interrupted by the train that suddenly exploded into hundret little pieces.

"Too soon to appreciate the irony, am I right?", Jesper asked the three as they all watched the wreck of the train.

They all remained silent as they exchanged a clueless look. "Yeah, too soon."

The four had decided to travel to the next station from where the skiff's where entering the Fold. And now they were standing in a small flat that laid over a club.

"The skiff is still here. Travelers downstairs are complaining. They were due to cross this morning", Inej explained to the others as she placed her jacked onto a chair.

"Orders from the Black General. He plans to cross on it tomorrow", Kaz added as he sat infront of the three.

"The General?", Jesper asked him confused as he leaned against a wooden pillar. "Is that the same General who tried to,- Oh, yeah, kill us all. That one?"

Kaz sighed as he leaned onto his cane, "He has the Sun Summoner." Estelle had her hands placed on her hips as she eyed the man infront of them, "Was this your plan all along? To have the General get her back, so you can take her again?"

"My plan is to get us across the Fold. We aren't prepared for another fight."

"So, you're not going to take another run at Alina?", Inej questioned him sceptical as she raised an eyebrow at Kaz. "And you're willing to let a million Kruge go?"

They all watched him in silence until Kaz finally answered them, "Jesper and I can't do this without you two."

The young sharpshooter sighed deeply, "Been saying that since day one."

Kaz gave him an annoyed look before he looked back at Inej, "And you've made your position perfectly clear."

"So all you want is to cross the Fold?", Inej asked him as she raised her eyebrows. Kaz nodded at the woman, "Once we land in Novokribirsk, it's your choice what you do next."

Inej's gaze fell onto Estelle who gave her a agreeing look. "Okay", the Suli told him before Kaz stood up.

Jesper held up his hand as he stopped the man, "Hang on. Are we talking about boarding a skiff with people who will recognize us? People who don't like us much."

"We'll have to blend in. Who else was on that skiff?"

"Some people form the winter fete. Dignitaries from Kerch and Novyi Zen on their way back home", Inej answered them immediately.

"Now they're audience to one more light show. Jesper how do you enjoy playing a Zemeni guard?", Kaz asked the man with a small smirk playing on his lips.

Estelle raised her eyebrow at her friend before she looked at Jesper, who smirked as well.

There was indestinced chattering in the distance as Estelle and Inej stood on a terrace looking down at the dark street.

Four man had just left a bar that was at the corner of the street, the two woman held their blowpipes' up to their mouths before they quickly shot a tranquilizer arrow at the two men that walked in the middle.

The two let out a loud a grunt and fell to the ground as they grabbed their throat with both of their hands.

The other two immediately bowed down to help them, but in that moment Kaz and Jesper left their hiding spot knocking the two man out.

Estelle quickly jumped down from the terrace and landed next to Inej, who already waited for her on the ground.

The two joined the men, "Are you gonna help?", Jesper asked Kaz as he pointed at the men that laid on the floor.

But Kaz just held up his cane. "Oh. Well, isn't that convenient for you?", Jesper asked him before he grabbed the first man and dragged him away.

At some point Estelle started to help him and after that they undressed the four immediately.

Jesper stood infront of the mirror as he looked as himself. "You look fine", Inej assured him from besides Estelle.

Jesper let out a laugh as he grabbed his jacked, "Oh, I look more than fine."

"I made some edits on their papers. Should be enough to get us through the checkpoint and onto the skiff", Kaz explained to them as he handed them the papers.

Jesper furrowed his eyebrows as he eyed the paper closer, "Huh? No one is ever going to believe I'm that old."

He placed his black hat on his head and looked at the three. Kaz raised an eyebrow, "You tell yourself that."

Jesper looked indignant as he cleared his throat and left making the others smirk at him.

After half an hour the three had finally arrived at the Destination from where the Skiff would start it's journey through the Fold.

Jesper handed the man his papers and smiled at him as the man gave him a sceptical look, "I know. I look amazing for my age."

"Well, I thought you looked older", the man replied as he handed him his papers back, making Jesper laugh amused.

He turned around and walked towards the skiff, the others following after him, but suddenly there was whispering which made the four turn around.

The black General and Alina Starkov had just left their tend and all people were starring at them with big eyes.

Kaz gave Inej a look who sighed, "I know. Not until Novokribirsk." They turned around again and contiued their way towards the skiff.

And as they finally stept onto the skiff the group of four remained hidden in the back ground, watching the Grisha's, the General and the Summoner who stood in the front.

"Good news? It's just as terrifying as I remember", Jesper spoke up as he eyed the Fold intfront of them.

"Except this time we're going completely exposed."

Estelle could hear the growling in the background as Jesper spoke up again, "If I'm meant to die today and either of you two survive, make sure I have an open casket."

"No one is dying today. No mourners", Kaz spoke up as he looked straight ahead.

"No funerals", Estelle added as she followed his gaze towards the Fold.

The dark wall got closer and closer which meant that the skiff was moving, until at last the darkness surrounded them completely.

A feeling of coldness immediately surrounded the woman as the wind hit her face and gave her goosebumps that erupted all over her body.