: don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste. I once was a man with dignity and grace

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CHAPTER DEDICATED TO @niharika297 okayyy let's just start with a big bigg thank you for your support. Honestly you have no idea how much that comment meant to me and how happy it made me feel. You really really made my day, love! Thank you soo very much for your kind words! Im gonna cry now! Love yaa!!!!

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third person's p.o.v:

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"You're late," Rohaan said, as he looked at the 4'11 who claimed to be a solid 5'2, dressed in her red crop top and baggy blue jeans with hair flowing down on her face as she jogged his way.

"I'm so sorry, I told you na, the workload is just--" Ziya's voice trailed off, and she stretched her neck with a sigh.

The corner of Rohaan's lips slightly turned into a crooked grin.

Sometimes he just can't help but feel that all of those hours of her sitting in the library or whatever is nothing but a hoax, given how even after all those hours of sitting in front of the computer or in between a bundle of papers, she still somehow manages to have that oh-so-freshness and I'm-a-dumb-sunshine girl aura intact.

This isn't what hard work is supposed to look like, is it?

Hard work... It's the expression of tiredness one has when they have had a long day, the face one makes when they are done with life, the type where their features scream that they would rather be anywhere but here, the type, with tired downturned eyes, and a messy bun on top of their head.

His eyes moved from Ziya to the girl whose hands she held.

He found it rather comical how they had become best of friends in a matter of months, especially considering how different they were from each other. Yet so similar. It was a mystery how two polar opposites synchronized so well, and a shame at the same time. But it was also partly what he admired the most about them, while Saisha was the night that brought depth and intellect, Ziya was the sunshine that always carried a weird beam of light that just radiated everywhere, a light that was just bright enough to lighten the day and give you warmth. However, the worst part of it all, was how perfectly they fit together. A proper evening. Something he once had with his best friend. something he, could have with her instead.

"Are you serious?" Rohaan scoffed, his eyes bloodshot red, while his voice heavy with each word that escaped his lips.

"If it's either you, or him." Saisha paused, her eyes staring straight into his, as she took a step closer.

"It'll always be him."

"Yes, of course, I can see it in your eyes." Words left his mouth before he could stop them, not even bothering to look away, as he stared at the face of the only girl who had managed to bring tears into his eyes. Saisha, stared back, her jaw clenching as she narrowed her eyes at him. 

"Anyway, you guys wait here. I've got to talk to someone." He heard Ziya rush with her words, before jogging away from the duo and disappearing into the cafeteria walls.

"Wait Zee--"

"Let her go now," His words cut Saisha off, her eyes snapping into his.

"What the hell is your problem?" she hissed, making him chuckle.

"Are you nervous again, Roy," God, how he loved annoying her till the very last nerve of her brain cells.

"Stop with your goddamn act, Rohaan. Ziyanah isn't the person you'd want to involve between us." she gritted, this time making him chuckle harder, "At least you finally admitted that there is an us."

Saisha's nostrils flared as she glared at him, her eyes shooting daggers at the man she had once considered the best thing that had ever happened to her.

It had already been days since she had tried her best to stop him from playing around with the only girl she had truly managed to make friends with and here he was ready to fuck everything up. It wasn't a secret- what he was trying to do. For the past years, Saisha had known Rohaan enough to know whether or not he would ever really be interested in a girl like Ziya. 

Never.

He loved doing this, he loved crushing everything that bloomed.

'Like what he did back then. Like what he did to me.'

"Really Saish, you really think I'm playing with her or something?" He paused, "Well yes, yes I am, but what are you gonna do about it though?"

She didn't miss the challenging tone he held as Rohaan took a step closer to her.

"Are you gonna tell your best friend what I'm doing to her? Or are you going to tell her what you did to me? You choose, Saisha. Again."

She could feel her eyes burn as she looked at the guy in front of her, a cynical smirk spreading across his face but his eyes, completely opposing his demeanor. 

"Ro-rohaan," she gulped, "Ziya is not the right way to get back at m--"

"No, but she's my favorite." He winked. Her jaw clenched and so did her fist as she gritted the words out "She has no idea abou--"

"Oouff," he looked away, somewhere behind his mind, trying his best to not let his guard down.

"Quite thrilling to know how conveniently you can erase people out of your life."

"Keep her out of this, Rohhan,"

"Too bad, she's already in it."

A scoff escaped Saisha's mouth. "For someone who ruined and recked my emotions you sure have some nerve there-"

"Me? You're really gonna throw this on me, Roy? Might I remind you I'm still far from sleeping with your goddamn best friend unlike yo--"

"Okay, I'm done let's go!" 

Rohaan's mouth shut immediately at the voice that came from behind before he passed a tight-lipped smile at those siren eyes, "It's not impossible though."

Turning on his heels, he looked at the tiny figure that jogged their way before he extended his hand out to her. 

Rohaan didn't miss the way Ziya's smile slightly dropped as she stared back at him and then at his extended hand as if calculating all the numerals in the world. A part of him knew he was wrong in dragging someone who had absolutely no relation or realization of his intentions toward her while the other just didn't care. 

The latter being more in ratio. 

A soft smile almost plastered itself on his lips as he looked at the way Ziya innocently stared back at the figure behind him as if wanting some kind of approval from her so-called best friend or maybe some confirmation.

"Let me drop you." He voiced, gaining back her attention, to which she was about to shake her head but stopped, passing him a smile instead before finally giving the reaction he had worked for, for the past 2 months or so. 

His jaw clenched the moment she placed her small hand on his, eyes having a different kind of beam in them, cheeks turning the softest shade of pink he had ever seen while her lips... her lips spreading in the very first genuine, carefree smile she had ever passed his way. 

He was expecting this, he knew he had definitely hit his shot by now, he knew it was finally time to reap what he had sown but what he didn't know, was for him to mirror her reaction like it had ever meant anything more than just a game of pretense for him. Like he actually cared.

No. 

That was not the thing he had signed for. He knew for a fact that he wasn't going to take this too far, but at the same time, Rohaan knew exactly when, where, and how he would put an end to this.

You know how they say you should love people in a way they feel loved, then maybe you should hurt them the way it would haunt. 

Too bad she wasn't the type to care for herself. Too bad that the only way to hurt her was to hurt the people she cared for. 

'Just fifteen more days Saisha.'

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rohaan's pov

I looked at the girl with the energy of two ground squirrels packed up in herself as she hopped from one place to the other moving everywhere like a whirlwind in the spare classroom, tying balloons and bossing people around as if she owned the world.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder, maybe it's just her world and we're just living in it. 

For the past five days, it felt like I was made to meet with a brand new version of Ziyanah Alit the one that's not always chirpy the cocky, bossy type whose anger can actually make a person shut up. 

"Where is the cake!" A part of me felt like laughing at how childish she was, I mean people are still excited about birthdays till this date? While the other couldn't help but smile at her excitement. 

"I got it!" I heard Varun shout back as he hurriedly kept it on the table with white tulips. 

Crossing my hands in front of my chest I couldn't help but lean against the wall, as I looked at the girl who was busy finding the perfect position to place the 2 and 0 candles on the cake as she bent down towards the table and as if on instinct my eyes snapped at the other men in the room. Of course, she had all the attention to herself by now, and even though it wasn't anything new, for the first time I couldn't help but feel the tick in my jaw at the amount of pair of eyes that stared back at her. 

Sure she was a sight to look at in her knee-length floral off-white and violet dress, with her hair tied half up with a bow, paired with the too-big-for-her-feet crocks that just didn't fit well but still. Why do people stare?

"They're here!" I heard Vamika cry as she ran to the room shutting the door behind her.

"Rahul camera! Harshit shut the curtains! Can someone just turn the goddamn fan down for fuck's sake!" 

I didn't naturally perceive myself as a jerk but the idea of letting out an amused laugh at the tiny figure which got all red in anger just reminded me of nothing more than an Angry bird. 

"It's too hot, plus you're here too you know." I heard Suyyash say making all the other guys in the room snicker, laugh, and hoot. I agree Varun was a social butterfly but this wasn't even his birthday. He could've thought of what Saisha likes and would prefer before inviting them. 

She wasn't the type to go for big celebrations, and given all the things Ziya had planned for her, she would've been more than happy that someone other than her bf cared. That she finally made that genuine friend she used to always talk about.

I'm pretty sure she hates half of the people in here. Including me, but well. Too bad she has a boyfriend.

I looked at the way everyone had their eyes on Ziya while Aayush and Nick patted Suyyash's back like he should be awarded or something. 

"There legit an air conditioner here, so just deal with it or better yet get out," Ziya snapped,

Suyyash's smile dropped in an instant before he cleared his throat and took a few steps closer to her. Does he really not know that everyone knows he just wants to get in her pants, including her? Talk about being oblivious.

I didn't move from my position as I looked at his actions and a very unbothered Ziyanah Alit.

Sometimes it's quite entertaining to watch their interaction. 

"Umm, I was thinking maybe, you'd like to go out tomorrow?" 

"Nah, you thinking wrong."

Biting my bottom lip I couldn't help but try my best to not lose my composure.

"Maybe this weekend?" Brother just get the hint.

"Nah, I'm having a headache this weekend." She uttered those words so smoothly like this was her hundredth time in this game as she took her phone out before clicking a picture of the setup. I looked at the guys who just pulled him back being the ideal brothers and patted his back again this time for another reason, while I couldn't help the proud smile that spread across my face as I simply pinched the tip of my nose to conceal it.

The sound of the door opening reached my ears and almost in an instant there was silence everywhere. 

I looked at the girl dressed in an olive green satin dress, her long hair falling all the way to her waist as she stepped in a bright smile spread across her face as her eyes lit up at the scene in front.

I didn't care for the rest, I didn't care what everyone was doing, I didn't care to notice when Aayush placed a glass of liquor in my hand, I didn't care that I was the only one who stayed static, I didn't care that I was the only one who could feel my heartbeats raise at just a simple glimpse of her, I didn't care if the people around me could see the way I couldn't take my eyes off her. I didn't. 

Her smile seemed to have lightened the room a 100 wats as she bent down slowly blowing the candle before smiling at everyone and finally cutting the cake. And then it happened, she smiled as she picked up the first slice moving it towards Varun, right before her eyes met mine. I could hear my heartbeats fasten the moment she placed half of the cake in his mouth, before leaning forward and closing her mouth on his.

Have you ever had a severe chest pain? Or heard the loud shattering sound of multiple glasses being thrown continuously one after the other. Maybe that's the sound of a heartbreak or was it...

I looked at the glass that stood in my hand just a few seconds ago now piercing through my skin, making blood ooze out, like an urge. Like my urge to get out of this so-called hell hole.

Turning away from the crowd I pushed the door open with the better hand and aimlessly walked my way to the end of the corridor stepping into the last room.

Sitting down on the ground, my back rested against the steel shelves as I looked at the deep red and multiple pieces of glass that still stuck to my palm. 

After all this while.

Why?

They say time heals everything, came from the ones who only have cuts just skin deep.

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end of chapter / 12

Oukayyy, I know it might have been a bore but sometimes you just have to make familiar with the emotions that grow in the other characters to just get an idea of the depth and stuffs so yeah, you could call it a filler or a build-up chapter loll 

anywayyy how was it??

lastly guys I really love and appreciate you all who take the effort to even open this book of mine. I get it but since were very few in number anyway can we be a little more interactive? I'd really really appreciate knowing more of what you all think about the story so far, so always feel free to let me know. 

Thank you sooo ssoo much!!

xoxo

it's sheewholoved!