❝ 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲,
𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝘂𝗺𝗯,
𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝘂𝗺𝗯, 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘄,
𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲 ❞
- 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘂𝘀

𝗔𝘃𝗮'𝘀 𝗣𝗢𝗩

One of the doctors take Octavia from us and walks her away, leaving Kane and I at the door. I watch the girl being escorted away, my eyes not leaving her frame until she is out of sight.

"You know, you're the spitting image of your mother when she was your age" Kane speaks and I turn to him with a raised brow.

"How did you know my mother?" I ask curiously.

"Our parents were friends so I grew up with your mother. We were best friends" He tells me.

"I can't remember ever seeing you with my mother" I reply.

"We had a spat when we were young. Our friendship faded after that" He explains.

"What about?" I ask and he looks hesitant but smiles weakly.

"I was in love with her. She loved me too, but she loved your father more" He reveals and I look up at the man in awe.

wow, it must run in my genes to have your childhood best friend fall in love with you

"Do you still love her?" I ask, my voice quiet.

"I don't think i'll ever stop loving her" He admits.

"But you floated her" I state, my eyes welling up.

"Believe me, that was the hardest day of my life. You have no idea how hard I fought for Jaha to pardon her" Kane explains, his eyes teary like mine.

"Even after her choosing my father over you? Weren't you mad?" I ask in confusion.

"Mad? No. More sad than anything. But in the end, when I seen her with your father and the smile on her face as she held her baby girl in her arms, i'm glad she didn't choose me" He says, making me cry "I never could have made her that happy"

"I miss her" I admit and Kane smiles softly, nodding.

"So do I" He replies, pulling me into a hug.

I hesitate before wrapping my arms around the sad man and burying my face in his chest. Being in his arms reminds me of my father or Sinclair's hugs which makes me smile. We separate and walk through the hallway.

"Y'know, I think she told me about you" I say, breaking the comfortable silence.

"She did?" He asks, hope sparking in his eyes which makes me smile.

⇠ flashback ⇠
nine years ago

"Finn and Ava sitting in a tree!" Murphy sings and I glare at him angrily.

"Stop it! He's not my boyfriend!" I shriek and Finn looks at me with a weird look.

"Tell him, Finn!" I beg and he nods.

"Shut up, Murphy" Finn snaps.

"Or what?" Murphy smirks.

Finn punches Murphy in the face and my eyes widen. Murphy punches Finn back and both boys start fighting. The other kids in class gather around and start chanting whoever they want to win.

"Stop it!" I scream.

where is the teacher?

"Enough!" I squeak.

I jump between them and Murphy's fist hits my cheek. I hit the ground and tears gather in my eyes as my cheek throbs in pain.

The kids in class start chanting Finn's name and I look up to see him on top of Murphy, punching the boy over and over again. I scramble to my feet and grab Finn off the boy.

"Finn, stop it!" I demand.

Finn immediately looks at my face and shoots a glare at Murphy angrily. I hear the bell ring and everyone starts leaving class. I let out a huff and walk over to my desk.

"Are you okay?" The ten year old boy worries.

"I'm fine" I roll my eyes, grabbing my back pack and exiting the class.

"Ava, wait!" Finn shouts, running after me.

"Leave me alone!" I shout back.

I reach my home and slam the door shut behind me.

"Ava, what happened?!" I hear a gasp and my mother grabs my chin.

I look in the mirror next to the door and realise my cheek is bruised.

"Finn and Murphy were fighting again. I tried to stop them and Murphy accidentally punched me" I grumble, plopping down on my bed.

"What else?" My mother asks, crouching down in front of me.

"Finn beat him up, like he always does" I scoff.

"Why are you mad? He's just defending you" My mother laughs.

"People keep saying he's my boyfriend and he loves me, but he doesn't!" I groan, flopping backwards.

My mother lays down next to me and runs her fingers through my hair.

"When I was younger I had a best friend like Finn. He'd always punch the boys who were mean to me. People thought he was my boyfriend too" She tells me.

"Was it daddy?" I ask.

"No, his name is Marcus" She smiles.

"Why aren't you friends anymore?" I ask curiously.

"Because I got older and I fell in love with your daddy, but Marcus loved me too. He was sad that I didn't love him as much as he loved me, so we drifted apart" She explains and my bottom lip trembles.

"But I don't want me and Finn to not be best friends" I choke out.

"That won't happen with you, baby. You and Finn will always be best friends. I promise" She assures me, brushing my bangs off my face.

I jump off my bed and my mother sits up with a confused look on her face.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"I need to speak to Finn" I stress, making her grin widely.

"Go on" She encourages me and I bolt out the door.

⇠ end of flashback ⇠

"Yeah, she smiled when she told me your name" I tell him which makes the older man grin.

"I thought she forgot about me" He chuckles.

"I was nine and people in my class were teasing me, saying that Finn was my boyfriend and that he loved me. To my nine year old head that was awful and it had to stop. My mom explained she had a best friend called Marcus when she was younger and the same thing had happened to her" I explain.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save him. I know how much you meant to each other" Kane apologises and I smile softly.

"Can I tell you something?" I ask hopefully.

"Anything" He assures me, stopping at the front entrance to outside where Indra and her warriors are returning with dinner.

"Recently I was sat down and made to think about all the reasons I love Bellamy and Finn. I was told that I had to choose because if not someone would get hurt and so I really thought it over. Even after everything Finn and I have been through together for the past eighteen years, I chose Bellamy" I admit and Kane sighs, nodding.

"After you telling me about my mother choosing my father over you, I realised something. If Finn was here now and he knew that I chose Bellamy over him, he'd be devastated. We'd drift like you and my mom did and eventually we would just be strangers to each other. Passing each other in camp and looking the opposite way without even as much as a hello. That itself would of killed me and I hate thinking about it...Is it bad I'm glad he died not knowing I didn't choose him?" I ask.

"It's not a bad thing. He died happy and that's all that matters now. It's natural to feel you'd rather him have been happy in his last moments than sad. On the note of Bellamy Blake, I hope he treats you right and that you two are happy together" Kane tells me, with his hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Kane" I smile gratefully.

"I'll always be here to talk if you need it" He assures me.

I smile warmly at the older man and head back to medical. As I'm walking through the halls, I bump into just the person I was hoping to see.

"Nova!" I chirp.

"Ava" She smiles softly.

"What did Indra whisk you away for?" I ask curiously.

"She was asking me about your training and how far you've come" Nova answers.

"Really? Why would she do that?" I ask in slight confusion.

"Leaders usually do that when they're scouting for a second" She tells me and my eyes widen.

"They do?" I ask in awe.

"Yes" She chuckles.

"So do you think she'll ask me?" I wonder hopefully.

"You've got great potential, but don't get your hopes up just yet" Nova advises me and I nod excitedly.

Nova pats my back and I make my way to medical to tell Octavia the news.

As I enter I bump into Indra, who nods at me softly before walking away. I don't take my eyes off the retreating grounder as I walk over to Octavia.

"What was she doing in here?" I ask the girl.

"She asked me to be her second" Octavia announces and I gasp, my head spinning to the smiling girl.

"That's huge!" I squeal, pulling her into a hug and pushing down my own disappointment.

She winces and I pull away, shooting her an apologetic smile before sitting down next to her.

"What's up with you?" She asks.

"Nothing" I shrug nonchalantly and Octavia raises her brow.

"Are you sure?" She asks me, patting my back.

"Life is as boring as ever" I joke and she laughs.

We sit in a comfortable silence until Octavia breaks it.

"Do you think Lincoln and Bellamy are okay?" She asks.

The thought swirls around in my mind and worry settles in my stomach.

"I don't know, O. I'm really worried about them" I reply.

"I'm scared, A" The dark haired girl admits quietly and I smile softly.

"I am too" I assure her.

She seems relieved that she's not the only the one and I try my best to distract her from her worries.

"Did you know that Kane was my mother's best friend?" I say and Octavia looks shocked.

"No way" She gasps.

"Yup. They were friends until he confessed his love for her and she chose my father over him" I tell the girl.

"That's sounds familiar" Octavia smirks.

"Hey, I didn't choose Bellamy over Finn" I lie.

"Please! I could see it in your eyes. The way you looked at them both was completely different" She scoffs.

"I care about them both" I argue.

"I didn't say that you didn't care about both of them. It was just different. Finn was old, it was a love that grew from years of friendship. Bellamy was new, it was a flame that sparked the moment you met. Forgive me for assuming but you're the type to play with fire. I new from the look in his eyes that Finn was in love with you but I also knew that just by the way you looked at my brother, you were going to choose him" Octavia explains and I sigh softly.

"I love him" I admit.

"Who, Finn? We all know" She waves me off.

"No, Bellamy. I love him" I tell her and her eyes widen.

"Like, love-love" She asks in awe and I nod with a smile.

"Finally!" She complains and I roll my eyes, slapping her arm.

"Bell and Ava sittin' in a tree" Octavia starts singing and I let out a loud laugh that she joins in on.

I let out a small sigh and lay my head on Octavia shoulder.

"How are you feeling with the whole..." Octavia drawls off.

"What? Finn dying?" I mumble.

"Yeah" She whispers, leaning her head on mine and wrapping her arm around me.

"I mean, it's hard and I miss him more than anything but I feel kinda numb about the whole situation, like my brain refuses to let me work through all that shit. I've cried, I've screamed, I've broke down, I've spent hours training just to have an excuse to punch things. Truthfully, I don't think I'll ever really get over his death. He means too much to me" I explain and Octavia rubs my arm comfortingly.

"I get that and it's okay to feel a little numb sometimes. You just have to know when it's gone too far. Don't trick yourself into thinking you're okay when you're not because it's too easy to fall down that hole and start pushing down all your feelings, even the good ones. I can't loose you like that. I need you" She tells me and I smile, wrapping my arms around her.

"You're not getting rid of me anytime soon" I assure her.

"Good. I'm always here for you, A. If you need to talk or even just need someone to sit and watch the stars with, I'm here" She offers.

"I love you, O" I mumble.

"I love you too" She replies.