TAINTED YOUTH.   03x01
011    anger is one letter short.

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loris stomach had grown, it was clear she was heavily pregnant. hallie although had lost weight, her muscles somehow grew as her body fat shrunk. giving more than half her rations to lori and carl whislt being on a small diet anyways didn't help.

she didn't smile anymore either. she took her anger out on walkers, and always seemed to have blood on her somewhere. rick had tried to talk to her, but she now couldn't look at him. she despised him. she blamed him for every little thing that went wrong.

hallies knife stayed firmly in her grasp as she entered the small home. turning to her left she used her foot to open the door slightly, peaking her head around the corner, it was clear; not a walker in sight.

roman stood behind her, he smirked as he seen her wipe the blood off the handle on her sleeve. stepping forward, hallies arm swung around, her knife directed towards his temple.

grabbing her arm, he chuckled. "nice try, maybe next time aim for the lungs. more suffering" roman shrugged, letting go of her arm slowly.

"don't sneak up on me, you know this" hallie shook her head, nodding towards the small scar that rested on his collar bone.

"have a scar to show" he winked, he had to admit he likes this 'new' hallie. she didn't care about practically anything and it ( to him ) was insanely attractive.

"yeah? want me to make it more noticeable" hallie spat, nodding towards the small laceration on his neck. she was lucky it was small, or else she would've been everything she hated.

shaking his head with a laugh, roman pulled a cab from under his arm. tossing it into the air he pointed to it with a rusted fork, "fancy a..." he paused as he read the label, his face turned into a debatable look, as if he was unsure if it was worth it, "can of chick-pea and devilled eggs?"

hallie raised her eyebrow at the boy, walking past him she patted his shoulder shaking her head. it seemed the group had gathered in the living area. funny thing to call it now-a-days considering half of the living population was now dead. maybe it was better suited as the dead-room.

"what's up, momma" hallie winked as she crouched down infront of a panting lori.

it seemed hallie cared more for the baby living in loris stomach than she did herself. she always had a soft spot for kids, it seemed like a trait she carried on from the life before this.

"nothing, sweetheart. just tired, feet are swollen" lori had whispered the last part, laughing at herself yet groaning as she leaned back against the wall more.

carl was using his knife to open a can, rick looked at his son before taking it out of his hand.

he looked at the label, shaking his head.

the place was ransacked. if hallie was being honest, hallie would rather eating dog food over dying of starvation.

rick shook his head, throwing the can at the wall causing the group to flinch. standing up hallie looked at rick laughing bitterly before grabbing her gun; shoving it in her waistband before walking outside.

sitting down on the porch, hallie let out a sigh. dragging her fingers through her strangled hair as her leg bounced up and down.

digging her hand into her pocket, she rooted around before landing on the cool metal of a necklace. it was beaded, the chain. pulling it out she looked at it, shane walsh was carved into the dog tag, aswell as a twenty two that hung beside it. the inside of her cheek came between her teeth as she bit down on it. the silver reflected in the light. she wanted to cry, she wanted to cry so badly but she couldn't.

she needed her father, and a hug.

the click of the door caused hallie to quickly wipe her face, even though there was no tears she tried to shake the impression.

he didn't say a word, simply sitting down beside her. hallie looked at him. his hair had grown into a shaggy fringe that was constantly slicked back from the grease in his hair yet his skin was clear and clean.

"you don't have to talk if you don't want to. you just looked like you needed someone" lee spoke up, looking out into the trees that littered the garden.

"i don't need anyone" hallie denied quickly, yet lee stayed calm, turning to look at her.

"everyone needs someone, whether it's a friend or a foe"

"i wish it was me, not him" and with that hallie stood up, about to walk into the house before she noticed a small group stumbling through the yard, groans admitting from their mouth.

grabbing lee by under his arm she yanked him up before rushing back into the house.

"walkers" she yelled as she ran towards lori helping the woman off the ground before leading her towards the back door the group following behind.

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the cars came to a stop. "we got no place to go" t-dog spoke. hallie walked towards the back of the cars. placing her hand on her waist band wondering what whoulr happen if the herd they had been attempting to avoid caught up with them, then and there.

a whistle threw hallie out of her thoughts. daryl placed his fingers a-top of his forehead saluting her as him and rick ventured into the woods.

leaning against the trunk of the last car, hallie boosted herself to sit comfortably on it. she look down the road, out into the woods. 

she didn't mind being alone. she had slowly gotten used to the feeling of loneliness, it opened its arms and took her into its strong embrace; refusing to let go.

the group knew what she had gone through. knowing if she was to talk to anyone it was only a few selected members of their group.

she didn't like the thought of opening up. feeling vulnerable, yet sooner rather than later she'd have to or else it would kill her.

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rick used the cutters to slice a large gap in the fence. the prison field was filled with walkers and even more flooded in from the grounds. it was a suicide mission but they needed somewhere to hole up, at least till lori had her baby and recovered.

"we could clear the field by nightfall" rick nodded, he wanted to get this done, he needed to.

"what about the top gate?" hershel asked, dropping his bag.

"i'll go, you guys cover me" glenn spoke up, maggie grabbed his arm pulling him back. "it's a suicide mission"

"fuck this, i'll do it" hallie shook her head, roman looked at her with a confused stare. she hated being up close with walkers.

"no, hallie" hershel shook his head, hallie shot him a small smile.

"i'll do it" rick spoke up, going to pat halkie on her shoulder which she quickly dodged, stepping back."beth, glenn, maggie go over there. roman lee and abby that side. you three up their" rick asserted, pointing towards the tower.

as rick walked towards the gate hallie and lori followed whilst the group banged against the fences attempting to lure the walkers closer.

as rick slipped out, hallie smoothly followed behind whislt lori whispered her protests. quickly hallie began to run, making a head on rick as he yelled out to the girl. pulling out her knife she grabbed the nearest walker by the throat, pushing the weapon through its ear.

shots fired around them as rick made its way up to the top as hallie began to clear off any walkers near them. lori smiled worriedly at the pair. as much as she enjoyed seeing them work together again she wished it was in better circumstances.

as the gate rolled shut hallie jumped as a shot fired by her foot, merely missing her. turning around she noticed carl looking at her with wide eyes. her middle finger coming up towards the boy with a laugh.

the gate was closed and the walkers were cleared off. rick jogged towards the girl with a smile.

"good work, halls" he nodded towards the girl, hoping to reconcile.

"i did this for the group. not you" hallie spat, she whipped her head over her shoulder, saluting roman who had instantly ran towards the gate and out towards the girl.

his hands wrapped around her waist as he hoisted her up, he bounced her up and down cheering her on. hallie began slapping the back of his head as she attempted to get out of his grip. she appreciated his enthusiasm but she hated the attention. finally he let her out of his arms, smiling at her.

"that's my girl!" he cheered, hallie raised her eyebrow.

"not your girl, roman" she spoke patting his shoulder. she jogged down to lori blood covered her hands and some ended up in her hair.

"you get scratched or anything along the lines of that?" lori looked at the girl disapproving of her impulsive actions.

"ain't getting rid me of me that easily" she winked, wiping her hands on her thighs before grabbing the bags the woman was carrying.

lori laughed at hallie, shaking her head as her hands came to rest on her lower back supporting her large stomach.

"what would i do without you?" lori chuckled, placing her arm around the younger girl's shoulders.

"probably break your back, with the little munchkin kicking your ribs in" hallie laughed slightly, she had always been soft with lori but nowadays her and carl, sometimes the greene family; we're the only people to see that.

"your not wrong, sweetheart"

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they had set up a fire. carol had cooked up a few squirrels and a can of sweetcorn they had. it wasn't pleasant but it was better than the pains caused from hunger that most had. hallie had eaten half of her plate before handing it to lori.

the woman shook her head attempting to give it back to hallie but she refused. "your eating for two, lor'. for you and munchkin" hallie spoke softly. she sipped on the hot tea that had been made. she didn't love chamomile but it was a nice change from distilled water.

hershel spoke up, looking at his daughter "bethy, sing paddy reilly for me. haven't heard that — i think, since your mother was alive"

beth looked away shyly, "daddy not that one please" she said quietly, worried her voice may break.

"how about, uh... patting glass" hershel suggested, looking pleadingly at his daughter.

"no one wants to hear"

"i do" hallie said, looking at beth. beth smiled at hallie, she knew deep down hallie cared, not that she shows it often.

"why not?" glenn nodded along.

"okay..."

as Beth began hallie couldn't stop staring. her voice was beautiful, angelic. it set an atmosphere of tranquility over the group. it was like peace amidst a storm. when beth began to shy away maggie had joined in.

lee looked at both of his sisters singing so calmly, he knew beth found comfort in music and singing and he wished the world had so cruelly taken that from her yet she still found ways to create peace for others.

when the song came to an end the group clapped slowly, "beautiful" hershel smiled.

rick spoke up, "better all turn in. i'll take watch over there. we've got a big fat tomorrow"

"you really have a way of ruining the mood, officer" hallie muttered. it was a job, of course it was.

rick ignored the girl, "what do you mean?" glenn asked.

"Look, I know we're all exhausted. This was a great win"rick paused, shaking his head before continuing.

"But we gotta push just a little bit more. Most of the walkers are dressed as guards or prisoners, looks like this place fell pretty early. Could mean the supplies may be intact. They have an infirmary, a commissary" rick concluded, scoff came from multiple people in the group. they had spent months on the road, they deserved a break.

"an armoury?" daryl asked.

"that'd be outside the prison, but not too far. wardens office would have info on the location, weapons, food, medicine.. this place could be a goldmine!" rick nodded, he was passionate hallie could give him that.

"we're low on ammo. we'd run out before we even made a dent" abby scoffed, looking up toward the courtyard where walkers dwelled around.

"that's why we gotta go in there, hand to hand. after all we've been through, we can handle it, i know it. those assholes don't stand a chance" rick encouraged, attempting to win over the group yet with tired stares he turned and walked away.

lori, put her hand out to hallie—the girl assisting her off the ground, the woman followed her husband.

as much as hallie wanted to, she couldn't follow lori. grabbing her backpack, she laid on the grass, placing the bag under her head as a pillow. she stared deeply into the fire. as the flames danced together hallies mind wondered to the dreads of tomorrow.

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"ready?" hershel asked, rick opened the door that lead to the courtyard and everyone slipped in without letting a walker out.

lee stood behind hallie, he watched as she grabbed a walker by the neck; slipping the knife into its ear.

lee, himself used his own knife to clear walkers that surrounded him. blood splattered against his t-shirt, staining the charcoal colour.

hallies hands were covered in blood causing the knife to slip from her grasp. as she bent down to pick it up a walker threw itself on top of her, hallies back hit the pavement hard. the weight of the walker knocked the wind out of hallie. using one hand to hold the walker above her she used her other hand to attempt to reach her knife.

her hand started to slip off the walker as the skin started to peel away off its rotting flesh. hallies breathing got heavy, she could hear loris screams.

tears started to brim in her eyes as the walkers jaw got closer to her face. she was terrified. "no, no" hallie grunted. she was an inch away from reaching the knife. she was so close.

lee heard lori screaming hallies name as she gripped onto the fence for dear life. turning around he seen the rotter on top of her. it's snapping jaw inches away from her face. she couldn't reach her knife.

running towards them, he grabbed the walkers collar, pushing it off the girl— sending a blow to its face. gripping his knife, he plunged it into its eye socket, watching as the body dropped—motionless.

hallie jumped up, her chest was heaving and she swooped up her knife.

"thank you" she mouthed towards lee, he nodded at her.

soon enough the walkers in the courtyard were clear. they were all bloody and breathless.

"looks secure" glenn spoke up, looking around at all the dead body's.

"nothing will lead to that courtyard over there. and that's a civilian" daryl grunted.

"so the interior could be over run by walkers outside the prison" t-dog replied, glenn looked at him before speaking, "well, if there's walls down, then what are we gonna do? we can't rebuild the whole prison"

"we can't risk a blind spot, we have to push in.. hallie, you nearly died, go stand with lori"  rick asserted, hallie scoffed.

"we all nearly die everyday, i got pushed down by a walker yet im still alive. i can go in!" hallie argued, she refused to be pushed around by rick.

"hallie i am not arguing with you, you are sixteen!"

"i'm seventeen"

everyone looked at her, they missed her birthday.

hallie turned around, and walked towards lori. the woman's face and a tear running down it as she opened the door and brought the girl into her embrace. "you ain't allowed to scare me like that, my girl. okay?"

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the cell block had very few bodies, blood painted the walls like it was museum. "what do you think?" rick asked the group.

"home sweet home" glenn muttered.

"for the time being" rick replied, he had the need to be always moving. he couldn't stay put.

"it's secure?" lori asked.

rick smiled, "the cell block is"

"but there's still a possibility of a breach?" abby asked, looking around warily.

"yeah and no"

"what about the rest of the prison?" hershel asked, looking at rick.

"in the morning we'll find the cafeteria and the infirmary" rick spoke, slightly ignoring the question.

"we'll sleep in cells?" beth asked, she didn't like the prison. she missed the farm.

"i found keys on the guard, daryl has a set too" rick replied.

"i ain't sleeping in no cell. i'll take the preach" daryl stated, swinging his crossbow over his shoulder.

carol looked towards hallie and lori, "c'mon"

lori thanked rick yet he walked away. she was trying — hallie knew that.

the cells were clean enough, hallie helped lori and carol into one but when they got situated she went to find one of her own.

she chose the upstairs, thinking if there was a breach, she'd be the farthest away— and if needs be she could always climb out a window.

the second last cell on the top floor became hallies new home. as she sat down on the bottom bunk, she traced her fingers along the wall. she stopped when she came long a carving. a man and what seemed a child holding hands with the sun beating in the sky above them. it was sweet.

"hey, how you doing?" roman croaked up as he stood at the entrance to her cell.

"fine. doing just fine" it was a lie, everyone knew it. but they wouldn't dare bring it up, fearing for the consequences.

"okay, huh— nice cell" roman smiled awkwardly, walking  around the small room.

"i'm not looking for a room mate"

"got it" there interactions were awkward to say the least. hallie barely talked after her father's death and if she did it was rage filled.

roman left after that. he couldn't be in a room where she was hostile towards him, he cared too much and it hurt him more than he'd let on. he was jealous lee got out of her what he did. they seemed to talk more than roman and she did and roman didn't even think they were friends.

the sun soon started to set, and hallies thoughts swirled deeply in her mind. manifesting themselves to tear her down. her mother used to say 'your own mind is your worst enemy, if you let that break you— then you won't survive the real world' and she was right.

hallie felt exposed in the bunk bed, like everyone could see her. the block was quiet. slipping off the bed, she cowered underneath it. the concrete was cold, it reminded her of the highway—sophia, her dad.

her lip quivered, biting it as she attempted to control herself. she was weak, worthless—pathetic. maybe lee shouldn't have saved her, maybe everyone should've just let the walker get to her. maybe she should be dead.

hallies hand clasped over her mouth as choked sobs escaped her. tears streamed down her face and she was a blubbering mess.

she fell asleep like that. cradled under the bed like a baby.

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hallies knife was tucked into her waist band and her gun was slipped through a hook on her jeans. the group was walking through the tunnels of the prison. corpses laid covering the floor. glenn used a spay paint can to label walls. the tunnels were like mazes.

as they turned around the corner, groans and stumbling feet advanced towards them. lee yelled as he grabbed maggies arm dragging her back.

the group began to run through the halls, soon loosing the walkers and eachother. lee, roman and hallie ended up grouped together.

lee paced the small corridor, running his fingers through his hair.

"lee, it's okay. everything's gonna be fine" hallie spoke, attempting to comfort the boy.

"my sister and dad are somewhere in this fucking maze! i need to find them" lee spat, he wasn't trying to hurt hallie yet he couldn't contain his emotions or worry.

stepping towards him, hallie placed a gentle hand on his arm. "we'll find them. together" she spoke softly.

lee nodded, "okay.. okay together"

roman looked between the two, his eyebrows drawing together and an all familiar feeling of jealousy bubbling in his stomach.

hallie stood beside lee, the two leading in front. lees calls for his family echoed throughout the halls and soon hershel's voice soon joined.

as they turned the corner, a body fell to the floor. it was hershel. his screams bounced off the walls, a walker — one they had missed, was jaw deep in his leg.

"NO!" lee yelled, running towards his father, stabbing his knife into the walkers head. maggies cry's over took the groans and yells from lee and hershel.

rick huffed, next thing they knew — hershel had a axe through his leg.

000

ok i hate this chapter. it's long and really started to stress me out, resulting in it ending here. anyways enjoy ig