it was intentional

and it stayed intentional

nothing more

things seemed slow, yet fast at the same time. thirty five days seemed like nothing compared to the lifetime our souls had spent together.

every day i saw sanha either at the bus stop or he came by the shop if he knew he wouldn't be able to make it to the stop.

today, not only did he wear glasses, he came to walk me from the shop after work.

"Nari, let's go see the snow hills in Chuncheon."

"The snow hills? Has the snow been heavy enough for hills to form over there?"

he nodded at the beat of his own steps, his fingers twitching as he pulled his scarf up from the cold.

"I read somewhere that if you go and see the snow with your girlfriend, you're meant to have a great relationship, no matter what."

sanha looked down at me, poking my sides to make me giggle.

"What do you say? Want to go with me?"

i kissed his cheek, before wrapping my hands around his skinny arm.

"Of course."

his cheeks grew red even with the cold, a small squeal leaving his mouth.

every single moment spent with sanha felt surreal. he had so many jokes and stories to tell, each word fell like a world of it's own.

while we took a much earlier bus to northern chuncheon, he told me a few stories of visiting the police station with his two brothers when he was little, stories of his friend jinwoo, the patient at the hospital he visited almost every day.

"What does Jinwoo have?"

"Desmoplastic small round cell tumor."

i blinked before chuckling at the rather mouthful name.

"Yeah, diseases have long names. Jinwoo is super funny. You would like him. Of course... not more than me. I'm far funnier!"

"I would love to meet your friends one day."

"Maybe you will!"

sanha looked out the window and watched as we passed by snow topped trees and house's chimneys in work. in seoul, the snow was light at this time of the year, but it still got very cold.

the bus came to a stop and we both got off, sanha quickly pulling us up to the hills.

as we reached the snow hills, sanha began running, leaving me behind.

"Wait up Sanha!"

"Come on! The snow will melt!"

i laughed as i ran and caught up to him.

"No it wont you dummy."

sanha stood about, looking around, taking in everything as i watched him. and it was cliché, god i know it was, but as he muttered beautiful up to the sky, taking in his surroundings, i thought he was more beautiful than nature itself.

i took his hand, the boy i had met just a few weeks ago looked down at me with such a big smile on his face. he grabbed onto my other hand, pulling me closer.

"Is it... too early to say it?"

"I don't know."

he looked around again, turning his gaze to our shoes, the tips of them almost touching. a shaky breath escaped his lips as his whole body shivered. he looked up again and our eyes met.

"Nari."

"Sanha."

i remember how his eyes began to water— eyes made of roasted coffee being watered down to a simple cup of espresso— they began crying and soon the tears ran down his cheeks, falling to become one with the snow.

"I'm really happy right now. With you, I'm the happiest."

i pulled him into an embrace that warmed the atmosphere of early winter, feeling his heartbeat against my ear, his breath dancing on top of my head. they way he hugged me back, was the hardest anyone had hugged me.

it hurt. it hurt so much because there was a chance these hugs meant something more. it could have meant fear, or angst, or worry. but instead it was vague. it was a good kind of pain.

he slightly pulled away and brought his hands up, grabbing onto my face and moving his head to his words.

"Even if we've only spent so little together, I want to give you the world."

he chuckled, smiling as he let his right hand tuck my hair behind my ear.

"But how can I give you that... if you've turned into my world?"

he was right. so little had we spent together yet so much of our lives had turned into each other.

he leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine. i took my hands to the now smiling boy's cheeks, and smiled myself.

"Maybe I am your soulmate."