╰─▸ ❝ @[chapter eight] has

. . . . logged on

NAMJOON TOOK HER TO A NICE, COZY-LOOKING CAFE FOR BREAKFAST. It was a small place, tucked away between larger stores so much so that it seemed like the cafe wasn't even there at first.

It was warm inside, sweet relief from the cold air that plagues New York as winter rolls in. The worst time to be on the corner. Rose makes up for it by getting a job at a peep show. It's a good gig, all she has to do is sit there and look pretty in a box while creepy old men jerk off to her. It just doesn't pay as much.

The smell of coffee and sweet pastries fills her nose and her stomach grumbles lowly. She didn't even notice that she was so hungry until she came so close to food. She brought her tongue over her bottom lip and looked around anxiety. There were a lot of people in here, not full capacity but at least half of the cafe was filled.

Namjoon brought his hand to her back, though he was sure not to touch her, just guiding her along as he points out an empty table for them to sit at. "That's my favorite seat, the best one in the room." In his opinion at least. It was stationed in the corner of the room, right next to the window where the brilliant sun would shine down on the book he held in his hands. If he had time before work he'd come here, maybe after work as well.

And now he brought her here, a special place to him, a sacred place to him.

Rose took a seat with her back towards the wall while Namjoon sat across from her. He watched her eyes wander across the space, all the plants that sat on shelves in the opposite wall made her smile softly. She hasn't been in a place this warm and comforting in a long time.

"It's nice here." Rose looked back to the large man sitting across from her. She held a tender smile on her lips, a smile that meant the world to Namjoon. His eyes sparkled with excitement at her approval and his lips curved into a dimpled smile. "I love it here. They have great coffee."

Rose could really go for a coffee.

"Well then, I'll let you order for me." She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest as she cocks a teasing brow at him. Rose feels safer this way, Namjoon's rosy blush helps her feel safer in some odd, twisted way, like she has the power.

Namjoon has gotten better at looking her in the eye as well, like staring down a tiger. He was always consciously aware of what he did, mostly so he doesn't end up making a fool out of himself in front of her. "Well, what do you want?"

"Surprise me."

Namjoon nodded curtly, his brows furrowing slightly as he stands up and makes his way to the front counter to order. Rose watches him go and stand behind a small woman who stood at the front counter. He walked with good posture, with his back straight and his shoulder broad.

She takes her eyes from him and looks out the window they sit beside, her fingers twiddle with the metal buttons on his jacket. Her eyes follow a random person that passes by until they move too far out of her field of vision. Then they find a yellow taxi that heads the other way. Rose never had the chance to admire the city for what it is. A dog shit place, sure, but in certain spaces of time, it could be beautiful.

Her perception of a lot of things has been twisted over the years. Her perception of men, of people in general, her perception of society, not only as a black woman but as a sex worker. The world seems a whole lot gloomier.

Namjoon soon returned with a cup of coffee and two large muffins, one blueberry and the other, coffee cake. He placed the coffee down in front of her and offer both plates to her. "Which one?"

Rose reached out and chose the blueberry one. "Thank you." She watched Namjoon wiggle his way back into his seat. "You're welcome." He said before taking a bite out of his coffee cake.

Namjoon looked like a teddy bear, she thought, one of the giant ones are too big to fit on the bed with you so you put them in a chair like they're a person. His cheeks were puffed a bit while he ate, something of habit she could tell.

Rose picked up the cup of coffee and took a small sip, careful not to burn herself on the hot liquid. He was right, it was good, a taste of hazelnut and just the right amount of sugar. She hummed softly. "And here I thought you were lying." She took a bite out of her muffin, starting her breakfast off well. Rose decided she'd come back here, maybe on her own time, maybe with Candy or the other girls. Maybe with Namjoon even.

"How are your classes going? You said culinary art, right?" Namjoon asked. He normally wasn't good a small talk. He didn't go well with talking about things like the weather. But he wanted to know more about Rose. He had remembered what she told him, about majoring in culinary arts, about wanting to be a chef.

Rose hadn't expected him to remember. That night seemed like so long ago. He was an architect, she remembered him saying. She scratched behind her ear. "Yeah...they're going fine. I just need to pull through until I graduate." Just one semester left to go and then she'd forever be stuck in crippling debt.

"It's the best feeling when you graduate...for the most part. I had to take the ARE to become a licensed architect." He took another bite out of his cake.

Rose gave him a questioning look. "What's that?" Mild curiosity overtook her. She told herself she wouldn't get involved or invested, just in case things ended up going south. The last thing she needed was to waste her time on an asshole.

Namjoon swallowed his food, his hand coming to wipe the little sprinkle of sugar and cinnamon from the corner of his lip. "It's a 7 part exam that takes nearly 40 hours to complete. It's Hell on Earth." It was a grueling exam and Namjoon was mentally and physically exhausted by the end of it. He slept for nearly 12 hours afterward.

"Huh, that's probably why all the architect majors look like shit all the time, knowing what's in store." She mused. She could imagine Namjoon being one of those majors, walking around like a zombie, just trying to get through the day.

Namjoon chuckled lowly. "Yeah, just know that no architect major gets enough sleep, but I'm sure culinary arts is far from easy either. I'm personally not good at cooking so I could never." The last time he tried to cook, he nearly cut off the tips of his fingers and burned down his kitchen.

Rose never thought that cooking was that particularly difficult of a skill, all of your instructions are set out in front of you, all you have to do is follow it. But some people just can't.

Namjoon was smart, in the way that he could take the ARE and pass it on his first try but couldn't follow the simple instructions of cooking. Who could be responsible for the design of towering buildings but could also nearly burn down his apartment by boiling water.

"I should make you something sometime, then." Rose thought a nice roast chicken would be good for him. He lit up when she said that. Those dual eyes of his turning bright. "Really?! I wouldn't want to waste your time. I'm sure whatever you make will be amazing."

He always says that. "I don't want to waste your time." Like he's afraid to take up space. He doesn't want to be a bother or an inconvenience. He said that when they first met and he says it all the time.

"I don't understand why you always say that," Rose told him. "Most of the time you're paying me to spend time with you so why would you be wasting my time?" It was odd because Rose never thought her time was wasted on something stupid or meaningless. Even if he just wanted to drive around the block a little.

"I know, I just can't help it. I just feel like there are better things that you could be doing."

"What? Like sex for pay?" She literally had nothing better to do, nothing to look forward to, nothing at all. "Nah, I would take doing absolutely nothing over that any day."

"If you don't like your job, why do it?" Namjoon questioned. It was ignorant on his part. It was so easy for him to say something like that. He's never had to consider such depravity before. Even if he did, he wouldn't be shamed for it like she was.

He could tell by her expression that he had crossed a line. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just... confused, if you could explain it to me."

It was the first time ever that anyone had ever asked her to explain her job to them. What it was actually like, why she was there. He wanted to know her, not her job.

Rose glanced out the window once again and her reflection stared back at her. When people look at her they don't see a person. They see a sex object.

"Well, I'm in college without a scholarship for one. My landlord keeps running up my rent and I still need to buy things to survive. So instead of taking up more jobs than I can handle, I figured that I just get a job that pays well and requires no skills." She's tried conventional jobs and that didn't work. She was doing her best.

"No one's ever asked me why I do what I do though." She never realized how much she's longed for someone to look at her like a human being. Not as an object for pleasure. Namjoon looked at her as a human begin, there's a look in his eyes that's hard to fake. Eyes are the windows into the soul they say.

Namjoon wanted to help her, but he knew better than to do it out of pity. She already told him that she doesn't need him to come in and think he was going to change her life because "oh no, a woman in distress, that must mean she needs me to come in and save her because she obviously can't do it herself".

"Well...I'd be lying if I said I was happy I'm the first to ask. People shouldn't be so judgemental right off the bat. You're a great person." He finished off his muffin in one large bite and offers and close-mouthed smile to her.

Maybe there is one person, one man, who understood the basic fact that she was a human being.

*.✧ Kᴀʏs Eɴᴅɪɴɢ Nᴏᴛᴇs

So I'm working on the epilogue for this book. It's 14 chapters put the Epilogue so we're already half way there. I never planned for this book to be very long so I think this is a good place to stop.

I'm gonna take a break from drawing on the weekends, so on Monday, I'll have another drawing for you guys.

Thank you all for reading. I hope you guys enjoyed and I wish you all a wonderful day/night.

사랑해

~Kay ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ