chapter 24.
i dreamed you dreamed of me /
is it worth the price?

୨୧

Josephine had dreamt of having a father who loved her for as long as she'd had the opposite. (thirteen years).

she'd prayed for a mother, too, but the ache she felt when she saw john b or pope or kiara with their fathers was far stronger than the one she felt seeing the latter two with their mothers. she blamed this on the occasions when luke would get drunk and scream that josephine looked just like her mother. he'd spit this like it was a bad thing; joey assumed it was, so she never cared for a mother. she didn't want to be like someone who made her father that angry, that hateful.

but its not like josephine had ever been close to having someone to even call 'mom'; a father had been dangled in front of her face like a carrot to a rabbit.

she had a man she called dad, who called her his daughter. they lived in the same house and he bought the twin-sized bed in her pocket-sized bedroom and the too-small clothing in her closet. he bottle fed her milk like she was an abandoned infant squirrel when she was small and held her hands as she learned to walk. but he was no father; he was a leech.

luke maybank sucked the life out of his children until they were no more than living corpses. the son wore bruises like part of his skin and the daughter flinched as often as she breathed. jj had a scar from luke's cold rings on his bottom lip; josephine had one underneath her left foot from stepping on a piece of a broken beer bottle she had missed while cleaning luke's mess from the night before. 

so, yeah; josephine had a father by title. but she never had one to teach her to fish or ride a bike or swim or drive. she had her brother and his friends, and that was more than enough.

until suddenly her father wasn't actually hers, and her entire life had been formed over one giant lie. and now, she might get a do-over after all; the father she'd always dreamed of. josephine is determined to mold chandler groff back into the role he gave up thirteen years ago.

jo wakes bright and early, leaving the off-putting hair extensions on her dresser and changing her bandaid as she has done every single morning since the age of ten. the pogues and groff would be going to larissa's gravesite today to retrieve the decoder of the scroll. it would be the first time joey had seen her mother in over thirteen years, and she wanted to make a good impression; even if her mother had been deceased for more than a decade.

when she joins the teens in the yard, however, john b takes sarah's hand and leads her away from the van. "we're gonna get out of your hair, actually. give you guys some space."

"what?" jj shares the confused look on his sisters face.

"yeah—it's your dad." sarah looks to jj before nodding at josephine. "and it's your moms grave. you should do this with him."

"so y'all are just bailing out now?" jo narrows her eyes.

"no!" sarah defends. john b leads her further down the driveway, explaining over his shoulder. "we're just running some quick errands, we'll be back later."

"an errand right now?" jo shouts after the teens. "are you shitting me?" this expedition with her birth father was a lot more important to her than she was letting on.

"yeah, are you guys kidding?" jj shares his sisters frustration. "we could save poguelandia if we could just read the—"

"j, don't worry about it." kiara steps in, ever the voice of reason. "you're gonna go with your dad, john b and sarah are gonna run their errand, and i'm gonna stay here, get us packed up. we gotta get out of here."

jj tightens his jaw, tossing a duffle bag into the trunk of the van and slamming the door shut. "it's just not the right time to be splittin' up."

"posie!" chandler calls, waving as he starts up the drive. josephine lights up uncharacteristically, jogging to meet him halfway. "hi!" she smiles so bright jj has to turn away. it looks unnatural on her stone face.

"mornin'." he nods once to their birth father. "let's do it." groff returns the gesture and helps himself to the backseat of the twinkie; the passenger side was reserved for josephine.

"look, i know he's your dad, but just be careful, all right?" kiara warns to the siblings.

jj nods with a shrug. "if he tries anything i'll just steal the little lens thing for myself."

"okay. and remember: you're a wanted man." kie sticks out a hand, interlocking it with her boyfriends. "keep your head down."

jj nods and heads around to the other side of the van, climbing into the drivers seat. kiara stops jo before she can follow. "hey, joey?"

"what?"

"just be careful, okay? don't get your hopes up if groff doesn't turn out to be who he says he is."

josephine tightens her jaw. "he's our dad, kiara." she could feel it in her bones. "he's not gonna try anything." she didn't need kie to warn her of a possible let down; josephine was a pessimist to the highest degree. she knew she wasn't so lucky. always waiting for the hat to drop, the storm to come. she just hoped this time would be different; a fresh start, fresh father.

but even then, as jo climbs into the passenger seat she makes sure to angle the rear view mirror to point to the backseats; eyes on chandler at all times. just in case—a precaution.
even the gentlest of dogs still bite.

"just you and me, kids!" chandler choruses, chuckling gladly. "our first mission!" he leans forward, paws on the headrest of jo's seat. "posie, losing you was the greatest regret of my life." he nods to her brother. "you too, jj. should never had let evelyn keep you; should've fought more." groff exhales, leans back in his seat. "but now look at you two! i feel like a new man."

he laughs once more, a pathetic attempt to lessen the awkwardness. he looks out the window. "i grew up right down there."

jo follows his pointing as the van speeds by. "you lived on the cut?" she turns in her seat, facing her father. "you were a pogue?"

"my dad owned the inn." chandler nods. "a little bit of both, maybe. but i married a genrette, and moved into blackstone."

there's a brief moment of silence before jo swallows her pride and breaks it. "what was she like, my mom?"

jj sets his jaw, eyes on the road. his sisters mother was not his own; part of him felt anger. it had always been the two of them, sharing luke's rage and a runaway mother. now, all they shared was a deadbeat father come back alive.

"delicate." chandler speaks softly. "gentle, full of life." he chuckles and leans forward once again, making eye contact with josephine. "you remind me of her."

jj scoffs. "sounds like jo, all right." josephine was gentle, and sweet, full of life; but she was no where near delicate. she couldn't be; she'd had been shattered to pieces long ago if that were the case.

the van pulls onto the cemetery's lawn and chandler sucks his teeth, nodding to jj. "you're wanted by the law, right?"

"yeah." the blonde boy closes his eyes, exhaling with guilt. he's suddenly hyper-aware of his baby sister in the seat beside him.

"why don't you hide this thing back there?" groff hisses, pointing behind a row of thick trees. "i gotta get the key." he climbs out of the van, slamming its door shut and leaning through the open passenger window. jo presses her back against the seat awkwardly as he speaks across to her brother. "hey, this is your family too, jj. remember that."

he steps away and jj presses the gas, pulling the van forward. jo scoffs. "he's kinda weird."

"yeah, he's your dad all right."

"yours too, dipshit." josephine leans forward, thwacking her brother upside the head. he makes like he's about to retaliate and she ducks. "can't hit me back, unless you're tryin' to get me sent away again. but if that's what you want..."

she's teasing, but jj's face drops. "jo..." he knew she blamed him, even all these years later. he blamed himself, too; it was his arrest for sinking topper thorntons boat that put the maybanks on dcs's map in the first place. "i didn't want—"

"hey!" a brisk voice cuts through jj's (bullshit) explanation. chandler's walking back towards the van, dangling a set of rusted metal keys. "you two coming?"

josephine's face relaxes, falsely oozing out all tension. she climbs from the vehicle. "yup." jj shakes his head in exasperation but follows nonetheless, retrieving his crowbar from the vans trunk.

chandler leads the siblings to the tomb of his deceased wife, turning a rusted key through the cobwebbed hole in the stone doorway.

"and this is my...mom?" the word feels foreign on her tounge and josephine shivers.

"correct. this is your real family tree, my posie." chandler smiles; he could tell the girl's attempting to downplay her nerves. of course, jj was his son too—but josephine was full genrette. mother and father, no true pogue blood. he heaves open the heavy door. "welcome home."

they enter the tombstone and the first sight that greets josephine is a painting of her mother, hung above her final resting place. she shudders; the tomb is suddenly freezing.

"can i ask you both something?" chandler turns to the blondes. "did you really believe that luke was your father?"

josephine did, because she had no reason not to. but jj had always felt his sister was not worthy of maybank blood. she was far too sweet, too gentle. she wasn't full of anger until returning after four years gone; jj had always had this anger, this impulsive need to react.

he looks between josephine and their father. he doesn't want jo to be different on her own. "no. i always felt it was a little off."

joey inhales. "yeah, same." she did not feel the same; she just doesn't want jj to feel different on his own.

"you were never maybanks." groff speaks, voice low as he closes the gap between himself and the siblings. "you were genrettes. groffs. you're not pogues."

a sudden bout of anger coursed through josephine's veins. she could have been saved from foster care, from all those years of torment. living with luke didn't make her a pogue; living in hell had made her a pogue.

if chandler senses this anger, he doesn't show it. "come on." he holds a crowbar, cradles it in both hands. "i can't do this myself."

"should we be doing this?" josephine looks to her brother as groff steps away to where larissa's coffin is held. "grave robbing?"

chandler pauses, looking to his only daughter. "it's not grave robbing if she'd want you to have it, right?"

josephine disagrees; her brother only grabs his crowbar and joins groff, sticking metal through stone cracks. jo watches as the two men remove one large cinderblock from the wall, revealing a dusted, cob-webbed old coffin. they yank it from its spot and jo holds in a sneeze from small the dust.

jj rejoins his sister as chandler goes to open the coffin, stopping at the last second. "i-i can't." his voice breaks. "i'm sorry, kids. i can't see her like this." he looks to josephine. "she's your mom, posie. you do it."

josephine's eyes widen but she steps forward nonetheless. "hi, mom." the child whispers, peering into the coffin. she wasn't expecting to be so taken aback at the woman's appearance; she looked ghostly, almost like a zombie. jo steps backwards with a gasp; she feels sick.

"no, wait." jj lunges forward and clasps a hand over her shoulder, moving the girl away. "i'll do it. you shouldn't have to see her like this."

jo nods, swallowing the lump in her throat. she watches as jj leans over larissa's coffin, removing a large necklace from around her neck. as he drizzles the chain into a palm, he eyes chandler. "how did she die again?"

the man looks taken aback. "uh, she...drowning." he inhales, abruptly stepping forward and closing the coffin. "she drowned."

there's a brief moment of silence before jj opens his palm, displaying larissa's necklace. "this it?"

"yes!" chandler breathes with excitement. "it's it, it's got the berber insignia right there, etched to it! you see it?"

jo leans forward, examining her mothers necklace. groff notices the solemn expression on the child's face and falters, delicately removing the jewelry from jj's palm. "here." he unfolds josephine's clenched fist, gently placing the necklace atop her palm. "you keep it." he folds her fingers back over it, closed into a fist. "it's yours."

josephine bites the inside of her cheeks. she would not cry. not here, not now, not ever. but there's so much dust on your hand now. do you even know how much bacteria this shit contains?

she shakes these thoughts and looks to her father, who smiles and places a hand on each of her shoulders. "now, let's go get that crown."

yes. let's go get that fucking crown.