𝑪 𝑯 𝑨 𝑷 𝑻 𝑬 𝑹 𝑻 𝑾 𝑬 𝑵 𝑻 𝒀-𝑵 𝑰 𝑵 𝑬

LONELY. A word Jimin's seemed to live within all his life. For a time, he evaded it, living happily with his two boyfriends. The loves of his life. He adored them, loved them with all his heart. And for a time, that was enough for him to be happy and for loneliness to lose him.

But it always seemed to be lingering around the corner.

Jimin sat in the middle of the king-sized bed, surrounded by soft blankets and silk sheets. It was the bed he shared with Hoseok and Yoongi, but neither of them were there. Normally, all three of them would be sitting in bed, watching a movie, and eating snacks much to Yoongi's dismay.

Hoseok was busy working. Being a CFO of Korea's biggest cosmetic/reconstructive surgery company required a lot of his time and attention. Most of the time he would be in his office at work, but occasionally he would be working in his at-home office. Yoongi was the head chef at Jungsik Seoul, a famous (and expensive) restaurant in Gangnam. He was there pretty much all day. By the time he got home, he was always tired, only having enough time to maybe kiss Jimin before heading off to sleep.

And when they did have a day off, they had great sex, but...that would be it. They didn't take him out on dates much anymore, they didn't do much besides have sex.

Loneliness had crept up on him when he least expected it, like a shadow growing behind him or a wave coming to crest, just waiting to collapse and drown him. He didn't have a job, Hoseok and Yoongi supported him with their own jobs. He stayed home all day and did nothing but watch TV and maybe text Venus when she wasn't busy with Taehyung.

Jimin let a woeful sigh escape his lips as he grabbed the remote and turned off the TV. There was something so...empty about sitting around and doing nothing. Doing things without purpose rendered it useless. He crawled out of bed, his bare feet touching the soft, grey, fur rug that sat under the bed. He reached out and stretched before running his fingers through his bright pink hair that stood out in the rather dark room.

Jimin moved forward, walking off of the fluffy rug and onto the smooth, waxed hardwood. He stood at the wall-length windows, staring out at the city skyline as the sun begins to retreat behind the horizon. It paints the sky in shades of blue, red, orange, and pink. They melt together, blending into each other to make it near impossible to tell where one began and the other ended.

Jimin watched this view almost every day, all alone. It made him feel even lonelier. Loneliness felt much like drowning in his mind. Every time you gasp, you choke, your chest burns, it's so hard to breathe and the endless pit below drags you lower.

He looked down at his feet, reaching up to pull at his collar around his neck, a symbol of his undying love and loyalty to Hoseok and Yoongi. It was almost like a wedding ring, a physical representation of his commitment to them.

Guess that was already broken.

But the thing that hurt the very most was that they didn't even care. They let him do it, no punishments, no arguing. They knew about his affairs and just shrugged it off because they knew he belonged to them. He wanted to love them, to give them his all, but they made it so difficult.

The opposite of love isn't hate. It's apathy. When you simply don't care anymore. When you remain indifferent because your emotions are no longer attached. The thought of Yoongi and Hoseok being apathetic towards him sent a shiver down his spine and struck his heart like lightning with fear.

Hoseok was at home right now, Yoongi was at the Jungsik. Jimin decided that he'd pop in to see if Hoseok had any time for him which was unlikely. Funny how he was in the same house as the man he loved, but felt a million miles away.

So Jimin left their room, walking down the hall towards the stairs to get to Hoseok's office which was on the first floor of their shared penthouse in Gangnam. He walked out to the balcony that overlooked the living room and jogged downstairs.

Jimin walked down the small hall under the stairs and stopped in front of the door to Hoseok's office. He raised his hand, balling it into a fist to knock lightly on the door before waiting. He hand his hands behind his back, teeth chewing at his fleshy bottom lip until it was left red, irritated, and slightly swollen.

"Come in." He heard the faint sound of Hoseok's deep voice through the door. Jimin opened the door wide, walking inside before closing the door behind himself. Hosoek's office was simplistic, grey and black for the most part with minimal decorations. His office at the company building was simple too, the only decorations was a framed picture of himself, Yoongi, and Jimin that they took on a vacation to Tokyo a few years back.

"What do you need, kitten?" Hoseok asked, never taking his eyes away from the computer screen in front of him. He couldn't even be bothered looking at Jimin when he entered a room.

"Nothing, I was just feeling a little lonely." Jimin walked over to his desk and walked around, placing his arms around Hoseok's neck. "Don't you wanna take care of me?" He kissed behind the shell of Hoseok's ear.

"Well, aren't you going over to Venus' house soon?" The older man asked, still focused on his work. Jimin pouted. "But I want your company. Can't you take a break, daddy?"

Hoseok shrugged Jimin off, forcing him to let go and stand up. "No, not right now. I'm really busy. Yoongi should be home in an hour or so." He dismissed him briefly, like he was just one of his subordinates that had come to give him a report.

Jimin clenched his jaw, his lips pressed tightly together as he looked away, rejected. This happened every single time. Hoseok was always too busy for him, for anything. He didn't even know Yoongi was working late tonight so once again, Jimin was alone.

It was as if he loved work more than his actual boyfriend.

Jimin had grown used to it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. He crossed his arms over his chest, desperately biting at his lip to stop it from trembling. "But I'm lonely." He tried again, coming over to try and sit on Hoseok's lap.

"I know, baby, but I'm working." Hoseok tried to reason with him, though Jimin could tell he was becoming impatient. He liked to be left alone while he worked.

When Jimin tried to take a seat in Hoseok's lap, something he loved doing while he worked, he pushed the boy away, feebly, but enough for Jimin to know Hoseok didn't want him.

He didn't want Jimin.

"Why don't you spend time with me anymore?"

Hoseok huffed, finally turning his chair to look at Jimin with a rather annoyed expression. It's a look Jimin never liked seeing on him, and knowing that he was the cause of his boyfriend's stress made his heart sink.

"Because I have a lot of work to do. I don't know what you want, Chim. You always come in here telling me that you're lonely when Yoongi and I give you plenty of attention! What do you want Jimin, a dog? A cat? A horse? Because I can give you a pet. I can't give you time I don't have!"

Jimin sat there, staring at him for a moment. Silence settled over the room with Jimin on the near edge of crying. "No Hoseok...I don't want a fucking pet, maybe I want my goddamn boyfriend to give me affection, but it's whatever. I'll just go to my friend because she needs me and I won't fucking abandon her." He spat bitterly, hitting a nerve for Hoseok who didn't appreciate back talking.

Hoseok got up from his chair. "I work to support you and your fucking luxurious life! Your car, your clothes, everything! I give you everything you could ever want without hesitation or questions, but you get mad when I have to work to earn that money to do that for you!" He barked. It almost gets Jimin to stand down, but they aren't in the bedroom. They were arguing as a couple.

"No, you basically throw money in my fucking face as a way to excuse yourself from spending time with me! Maybe I just want you and Yoongi to take some time off and love me! What happened to dates? Taehyung is taking Venus on a date and they aren't even fucking together officially!" Jimin yelled back. You know it's getting really bad when one starts comparing their relationship to another.

They were both silent for a moment, huffing.

Jimin looked down at his feet as tears burned in his eyes. He reached up, wiping those tears and forcing them down. He sniffled and fought off a quivering of his lips. "But it's whatever. Just keep doing what you do. I don't matter, my feelings don't matter, right?" He shrugged, before turning, walking away, out of Hoseok's office.

Hoseok watched as Jimin stormed out of the room before he could say anything more to him, slamming the door behind him as he marched away. Hoseok sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed his forehead before deciding to just go back to work. It was better to give Jimin his space when he gets worked up like this. Usually, Yoongi was the one better at comforting him. Hoseok figured he'd only make it worse.

Jimin marched his way back upstairs and into his room, a lump forming in his throat, a hard, burning lump that made it difficult to swallow, to breathe. He plopped himself down on his bed and sat there as more tears welled up in his eyes. Why didn't they love him anymore? Why didn't they care anymore?

Maybe he was just overreacting. Maybe he was just being a clingy bitch and he was the problem.

He was the problem.

Jimin let out a small sob as tears fell from his eyes. After holding it back for so long, it seemed to break out of him like a dam release. His shoulders shook slightly and his hands rose, desperately trying to wipe away his rapidly falling tears, but every time he did, more fell.

Jimin didn't cry often, he really didn't, but when he did, it was probably because of Hoseok or Yoongi, bad or good.

He was lonely. Jimin told them that, but they refused to make any changes to make him happier. This was a three-way relationship, but it felt more like a couple, consisting of only Hoseok and Yoongi, than a throuple with all three of them.

They pretended to be so happy in public. He pretended to be in the perfect relationship with the two of them, but he felt empty on the inside, like he was putting on a mask.

He loved them both desperately, with everything he had, but they didn't put forth that same effort as they use to.

Jimin reached up to his neck and undid the buckle, holding his collar to his neck. It loosened and then fell off, landing on the bed.

Jimin grabbed it and then threw it. It hit the window then fell to the floor, but Jimin didn't care. He didn't care that he was just throwing around the thing that showed his tie to Hoseok and Yoongi, the equivalent of an engagement ring around his neck.

He lay down in bed, burying himself under the blankets.

So you want to know why Jimin did what he did? Why he flirted and had sex with other people without a care?

It's because Park Jimin is lonely.

*.✧ Kᴀʏs Eɴᴅɪɴɢ Nᴏᴛᴇs

I remember the way y'all tore Hobi tf up last time and I cannot wait to see those comments again. They used to make me laugh so hard. I saw one comment that said he had dusty, old man dick and I couldn't stop laughing bro. That shit was too funny 💀.

JSA of the Day:
"When I first met Hoseok and Yoongi, they were already a couple. They kinda took me in when I was twenty after getting kicked out of my parents home after coming out to them. I felt really guilty for having a crush on the two of them at the same time and the fact that they were already together didn't help.

I was left at their house alone with Hoseok (I was functioning kinda as a roommate), and I was doing laundry when he came in. It was really something out of a porn because next thing I know, we're basically tearing each other's clothes off. I knew it was wrong and I should've felt guilty because Yoongi and I had become close, but kinda hard to focus on being guilty when you're having your brains screwed out.

And then we heard the front door open and Yoongi calling. I started panicking, but Hoseok didn't seem to care and kept going. I was fucking terrified that Yoongi would hate me forever. I told Hoseok that Yoongi would catch us and he simply smiled like he was counting on it.

Yoongi came in and saw us, just shocked. I almost started crying. Seems like it was some practical joke, because Yoongi simply say down and watched with a boner. I was so fucking confused. And then they explained they were in an open relationship. I almost slapped them for making me feel like I was a bad person."

That was a really long one.

Thank you all for reading. I hope you guys enjoyed and I wish you all a wonderful day/night.

사랑해

~Kay ಠಿヮಠ