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I was wrong Taetae...

Because in the morning I saw you with her. You told her everything from which I am running from..

You said I starved..this whole month...

Oh, I am happy that you noticed taetae, but there are many things you don't know.

Yesterday I feel like dying. I passed out, when I fall thankfully I was on the couch and you didn't notice me like every day. And sorry for eating your five favorite strawberries.

I didn't starve this whole month Taetae. I am so pathetic, I can't even do that.

I am sorry.

You said I am crazy and I only drink water. How can somebody just drink water to live?

But Taetae here I am only drinking water just for you...

I want to be the one who is capable to tell you that I love you.

Yes, Taetae I love you. With all your flaws, I will be the same till my death. Till my last breath.

You said I want your attention, that's why I starve and act weak.

It's right tae, I want your attention but that doesn't mean that I act. I never act in front of you.

I am all real....just for you.

You said I cut myself and you are disgusted with that.

No Taetae, I just want to know how many times I got hurt. Every day I count my scars...just to see how pathetic I am. Just to see how broken I am. There's no future for me.

Sorry that you are disgusted with that.

You said I don't have shame. You don't believe that I wanted to snatch you away from me Mina.

And how can I love you?

I never want you to be away from Mina...I just want you to love me.

But that doesn't mean that I will snatch you away from her. If you love her, I am happy but please don't say anything about my love for you.

This is my love

My one-sided love.

That's so pure.

I have all right to love you, even if you don't love me.

This is a beautiful feeling my Taetae...you don't know that because you haven't experienced anything like that.

And I wish you never experience that in the future, because my love... it's beautiful yet so painful.

You said that I am having nightmares... You said that I scream late at night while dreaming and that is so fucking annoying.

I am sorry, I don't know that I do that. It starts from that day when you leave my side, the day you were with Mina.

When you hug me to sleep, I never had nightmares.

I miss that feeling.

I miss being in your embrace.

I miss my sleep.

Those nightmares are horrible, no one can save me from those, except you.

And now there's no YOU beside me.

You said I am a product of rape.

Taetae how can you say that to her you promise me that you will never tell this to anyone.

It hurts me when you do all the things, which I hate.

You said you broke your promise.

You know right it hurts, you know how pathetic I am. I have only you.

No-one else.

And then you laughed at me with her till the point you have tears in your eyes.

Then how can I not believe her? All she said was true.

She knows everything, about you and me.

But it's not like she knows and that hurts me...

What hurts me is YOU.....

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