"yeonnnnnnnnjunnnnnnnnnnn!" he heard a voice from afar. a very familiar voice that was definitely not his mom's. he groaned and turned over in his bed, stretching his arms and legs. why the fuck was soobin calling him from the streets so early in the morning?

he forced his eyes open, squinting against the early morning light streaming through his window. sure enough, there was soobin, standing on the sidewalk outside his house, waving his arms like a maniac and yelling his name.

he grabbed an empty pen and threw it at soobin, hitting his arm. "why are you even yelling at me so early?!" 

"because we need to go to school, you idiot!"

"do you have any idea what time it is?" he called down, still half-asleep.

"yeah! it's time for us to get breakfast before school starts! come on, lazy bones!"

with another groan, he dragged himself to the bathroom. whilst showering, he remembered yesterdays events.

how soobin had gripped his wrists, pulled him in between his arms, saving him from danger. the way their eyes met as the adrenaline rush reduced.

why did it have to feel more than friendship?

as he dried off and threw on his uniform, he thought about how easily soobin made his way into his life, like it was the most natural thing in the world. everything was casual between them—teasing, the morning yells from the street, even the way soobin dragged him to breakfast.

he shook his head.

it's absolutely clear that i'm in love with him but i cannot show it. i have to keep it a secret. like dammit, he's literally songyee's crush! i'd basically be breaking my friend's trust and going against social norms. life sucks.

songyee is serim's sister by the way.

yeonjun shook his head again, trying to push the thoughts away. why does everything have to be so complicated?

heading downstairs, he found soobin still waiting out front, a grin plastered on his face. yeonjun rolled his eyes and joined him.

"aunt told me to keep an eye on you from now. she dosen't want your panick attacks to show up again. i guess i'm her personal spy from now... and your personal bodyguard!"

yeonjun froze for a second, feeling his cheeks heat up. "a... bodyguard, huh?" he muttered, trying to hide the slight smile tugging at his lips. "who says i need one?"

soobin shrugged, looking a bit more serious. "i do, actually. yesterday scared the crap out of me. i'm not taking any chances." but he immediately cracked a smile and ruffled yeonjun's hair.

"noo what are you doing? my hair!"

"it's fluffy, so i will. and i can!"

biting his lip slightly, yeonjun continued to walk, his heart beating faster. i have to keep this a secret. i have to. i can do this!

on reaching school, yeonjun abruptly ran away from soobin. the latter watched him with curiostiy. 'did i do something?' was his thought. however, he shrugged it off and walked towards his class.

"yeonjun! buddy!"

turning around to look at the person calling him, yeonjun's eyes widened, both with happieness and fear. serim was running at him with full speed, followed by songyee.

mirroring his friend's enthusiasm, he exclaimed, "serimmm! and hey, songyee! i've missed you guys so much!" they hugged each other, finally, after three whole years. "you both are staying here, right?"

"yes!" replied songyee. "we'll be here forever now!" her brother nodded his head in agreement.

"that's great! wanna hang out at the new coffee shop after school? i'll show you guys the new shops here on saturday!"

"sure buddy!" 

ringgg!

"gotta go to class. mine's geography first, what's yours?" serim asked yeonjun.

"mine's chem."

"so is mine! let's go to class together!" chimed in songyee. "bye brother!"

"bye buddy! see you at lunch!"

"bye guys!"

as the two started walking, songyee bombarded yeonjun with questions about soobin instead of asking about yeonjun himself.

"so, yeonjun," songyee started, her eyes gleaming with curiosity, "tell me more about that friend of yours... soobin, right?"

it kind of pissed yeonjun. everyone knew songyee had a major crush on soobin since middle school and she definitely stalked him. clearly, she still liked him. but what was the point of pretending like she didn't know anything about him?

yeonjun forced a smile, his hands fisting in his pockets. "uh, yeah, soobin. what do you want to know?"

"oh, just... you know, the usual," she said, twirling a strand of her hair, pretending innocence. "like, what's he into these days? how's he been? is he dating anyone?"

yeonjun clenched his jaw. this again. "soobin's doing fine," he replied, keeping his voice casual but short. "and he's... single, as far as I know."

songyee's face lit up, and yeonjun felt his chest tighten uncomfortably. of course she'd be happy, he thought bitterly, she wants him. but for me, it's different... it has to be.

as they reached the chemistry lab, yeonjun was thankful for the distraction, hoping the conversation would steer away from soobin. but, as they took their seats, songyee leaned closer, her voice a whisper.

"so, do you think he might be... interested in anyone?"

yeonjun's heart skipped a beat, the jealousy he tried to hide bubbling up. he clenched his fist beneath the desk, keeping his voice as steady as possible. "i... i don't think so, songyee. also, can we please talk about him later? gotta concentrate on class."

songyee raised an eyebrow. "did something happen?"

yeonjun almost panicked. "no!" he cleared his throat and continued in a normal voice, "no, why?"

"nothing... just... you're acting a bit weird."

"aah, must be because we last saw each other in middle school... a lot changes over three years you know." he chuckled.

believing his excuse, songyee nodded and nudged him teasingly to pay attention in class.

yeonjun struggled to keep his attention in class. his mind kept wavering to soobin. the warmth of his laugh, the way he'd ruffled yeonjun's hair, calling himself a bodyguard... it all felt so special.

finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of class. songyee turned to him with a bright smile. "so, lunch?"

"be there, gotta put in this stuff into my locker and get a few things. you go on!"

as songyee left, yeonjun took a deep breath and headed towards his locker. a familiar hand slapped his back playfully. yeonjun turned, his face lighting up as he saw soobin.

"soobin!" yeonjun greeted with a grin, feeling his heart flutter.

"hey, man!" soobin replied with his usual goofy smile. "i thought you ran off on me this morning."

yeonjun scratched the back of his neck. "nah, just... needed to sort out a few things before class."

"uh-huh," soobin replied, giving him a knowing look. "well, hurry up. i'm starving!"

as they reached the cafeteria, soobin spotted serim and songyee sitting at a table and waved them over. "let's sit with them!"

yeonjun's stomach twisted slightly, but he nodded, joining his friends.

"soobin!" songyee greeted, her eyes lighting up as she focused on him. yeonjun noticed the way she leaned forward, clearly eager to be near soobin. meanwhile, serim dapped up yeonjun and patted soobin slightly on the back.

"soobin, do you remember that restaurant we used to go to in middle school?" she asked, striking up a conversation.

"hmm? oh, yeah!" soobin chuckled, scratching his head. "the one with the giant milkshakes? how could i forget?"

yeonjun simply watched the two bonding. heck, songyee hadn't even talked to soobin properly in middle school. the four of them hung out together because soobin was both yeonjun and serim's friend.

he'd ocassionally comment on whatever topic they were talking on and catch up with serim, trying to make up for the time they'd lost together. however, his heart was not fully in it. he couldn't ignore the flutter of jealousy growing with each glance soobin gave songyee.

it's okay. she's your friend, you need to give up on him! it's not like society will accept gay people anyway.