yeonjun had passed out almost immediately. about two hours later, his eyes fluttered open. he felt something heavy on his chest. soobin's head was resting lightly on yeonjun's chest, their hands still interlocked.

his chest tightened, his heart raced, his cheeks flushed. he couldn't help but fall for the blonde more. he wanted to pull him closer, to hold on to this fleeting moment for just a little longer. but he knew he couldn't. he had to push away soobin and shield him from the mess he had become.

soobin stirred slightly, his head shifting as he slowly woke. his lashes fluttered, and he blinked sleepily, his eyes meeting yeonjun's. "you're awake," soobin murmured, his voice husky from sleep. he sat up quickly, rubbing at his eyes before looking back at yeonjun with concern. "how are you feeling?"

"i'm fine," yeonjun whispered. his body felt far from fine. he tried to sit up, but soobin's hand on his shoulder gently stopped him. "don't," soobin said firmly. "just rest. you scared me earlier. do you have any idea how scared i was back there? seeing you cough up—"

he stopped, biting his lip, as if saying the words aloud would make it worse.

"it's okay, soobin. i'm a lot better. how long have you been here?"

"almost two hours, i think."

"what?! why would you do that? let's go and attend classes."

"calm down, fox. we will. let sister come and check up on you. if she says you're ready to leave, we'll go."

as if on cue, the nurse entered.

"you're awake! how are you feeling now?" she asked kindly.

"better," yeonjun replied quickly, eager to deflect any further attention.

the nurse checked his vitals, her expression neutral but her movements careful. after a few moments, she glanced at soobin. "he needs rest, but he's stable enough to leave soon. i'll write a note for his teachers."

"thank you," soobin said, standing up to give the nurse space.

as she left, soobin turned back to yeonjun. "i'll take you home after school. no arguments."

yeonjun opened his mouth to protest, but the look in soobin's eyes stopped him. there was no point arguing.

"fine," yeonjun muttered.

-

as soon as he stepped into the cafeteria, all eyes were on yeonjun. his classmates startes talking in hushed voices about his episode that had occured only two hours ago.

"is it true? yeonjun has hanahaki?"
"yes. i really feel bad for him"
"he's literally the choi yeonjun. he can pull anyone. why's he hiding?"
"poor kid. suffering from hanahaki.."

hanahaki. oh, how much he hated that word.

somehow the whole school had come to know of his situation and it was embarassing for him. very embarassing. he kept his eyes glued to the floor, ignoring the way students stopped mid-conversation to glance his way or how their murmurs grew louder when he passed.

"ignore them," soobin said softly, sensing yeonjun's discomfort.

"easy for you to say," he snapped, walking straight to the farthest corner of the cafeteria, leaving soobin behind, dumb-founded at the sudden outrage.

soobin eventually caught up, sliding into the seat across from him without a word. his expression was calm, though his eyes betrayed a flicker of worry.

"i didn't mean to snap at you," yeonjun mumbled after a moment, guilt prickling at him.

soobin nodded, his lips curving into a faint smile. "it's fine, fox. i get it. just... don't let them get to you, okay?"

yeonjun didn't respond. he just stared down at the table, his fingers tracing invisible patterns on the surface.

"i'll go get us some food," soobin said, standing up. "you have to eat. you don't have an option."

the shorter hummed and smiled. "where are serim and the others?"

"everyone's been asking them so many questions, they didn't want to be mobbed at the cafeteria as well."

"and you?"

"well, someone had to keep you company. plus, i'm your bodyguard! now wait here, i'll be back."

as soobin walked away, yeonjun felt the weight of everyone's eyes on him again. he tried really hard to ignore all the whispers. he hated being the centre of attention.

suddenly, a familiar figure appeared in front of him. it was lia, holding a tray of food.

"uh... hi," she said softly.

"hi...?" he replied, not bothering to hide his confusion.

"i just... wanted to give this to you-"

he locked eyes with lia. "look, i don't need your pity. spare me from your 'kindness'. don't do this just because i'm sick."

yeonjun couldn't help but notice a kind of sadness in her eyes. "bad timing, i guess." she muttered under her breath. "i'll see you around, maybe." and left.

he felt guilty yet again, but it was late to say sorry. she'd already left and he couldn't see her around.

"woah, i didn't expect you'd snap like that, buddy."

"serim! i didn't mean it..."

"it's okay, man. i get you. here, eat something." he kept one of the trays in front of yeonjun.

"thanks... soobin already went to get me food though."

"i just entered the cafeteria and bumped into soobin. he told me to give it to you. he's coming with songyee."

"oh..okay"

taehyun, beomgyu and kai plopped into the seats in front of him.

"hey, yeonjun! i got you an apple! to be honest, i found it in my bag and erm i didn't want to eat it... but since you like them, here!" said kai.

he smiled a little and took the apple from kai's hands, slowly eating it.

"aren't you going to eat from the tray, though?" questioned taehyun.

"i... don't really feel like it."

"great! can i have it, then?" spoke up beomgyu.

"gyu! no!" serim glared at him. "let him eat!"

"awh man..."

yeonjun chuckled. at least one of them was treating him normal.

his happiness was, however, short lived. he heard a familiar giggle, and turned around to see songyee clinging on to soobin's arms. he wished he hadn't.

"soobin! can you help me with math after school? i can't understand a thing!" she said, trying to act cute.

everyone silently gagged at whatever she was trying to do. soobin furrowed his eyebrows, confused and taken aback at her strange behaviour. he hesitantly agreed to help her when songyee started tugging on his arm.

yeonjun pushed forward his tray towards beomgyu. "i lost my appetite. you can have my lunch."

"yay! i-i mean, you okay?"

he nodded and left, running towards the bathroom.

"yeonjun!" he turned around, surprised at who was following him. "lia?"

"uh..hi.. i just wanted to say that," she fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "i just want to say that i'm not pitying you... i genuinley care for you. i'm not treating you any different because of your sickness. i just wanted to make sure... that you're o-okay."

yeonjun's eyes softened. "lia, i'm so sorry that i snapped at you. i really didn't mean it. i was overwhelmed by the comments and my emotions. i'm sorry for that. you've been my friend for a long time, but we haven't really spent much time together. i hope we can. it's not like i've forgotten about you, lia. i could never."

lia's eyes widened, surprised at how yeonjun had read her mind. nevertheless, she smiled.

"i'll go to my class now. let me know um- if you ever need help or anything!" lia waved at yeonjun and made way to her class.

"thank you, lia!" yeonjun waved back.

-

ringgg!

last class was physics class. soobin, songyee and yeonjun were sitting together. the three of them let out an exhausted sigh but cheered nonetheless when the bell rang, indicating that class was over.

songyee batted her eyelashes while saying, "soobinnie! you will teach me math, right? should i come over or will you?"

"uh- i need to take yeonjun home first... then i will text you? that sound okay?"

"okay! bye soobin! bye yeonjun! take care!"

after she left, soobin turned to yeonjun. "let's go?"

yeonjun nodded.

their walk to the bus stop was silent. in the bus, soobin finally asked, "are you sure you're okay? do you want to talk about it?"

"i'm fine, soobin. and no, i don't want to."

"you can talk to me about anything, fox. i mean it."

the sincerity in soobin's voice made yeonjun's chest tighten again. "thanks, soobin. really." then he rested his head against the window, staring at the passing streets.

when they arrived, soobin walked him to the door. "you take a good rest, don't stress too much."

"yes yes fine!"

soobin rolled his eyes, but a small smile played on his lips. "ring the bell, dummy!"

yeonjun's cheeks flushed as he did what he was told. does he think i'm too desperate for his time?

jisoo, yeonjun's mother, opened the door. she immediately engulfed her son in her arms and completely broke down. "d-do you even k-know how worried i w-was? w-why di-dn't you tell me that y-you were hurting!"

yeonjun stood frozen in his mother's embrace. she was holding onto him so tight, as if he might disappear if she let go.

he slightly patted her back and kissed her crown. "it's fine, mom. i'm fine! nothing to worry about!"

"don't worry much, aunty! we're all here to take care of him! he will recover soon!" chimed in soobin.

yeonjun gave a small smile to soobin before telling her, "i'll go upstairs and get changed! shh- stop crying, mom. it's fine! i'll be right back."

he released himself from his mother's grip and turned to soobin. "see ya around, bunny! bye!"

the taller grinned, replying with a wave.

once yeonjun was out of sight, jisoo signalled soobin to come in. he furrowed his eyebrows but followed when she said "come in for a moment, dear" with the most broken, vulnerable voice he'd ever heard.

soobin sat on the edge of a couch while jisoo did the same on the other side.

"you're yeonjun's closest friend. i know that much about him, atleast. i feel the need to...thank you..." her voice tailed off.

"thank me?" soobin blinked in confusion.

"yes, dear. for being there for him. for being the person he trusts. i've never seen him trust even serim as much as he trusts you! i'm grateful he has someone like you."

soobin smiled faintly. "i care about him a lot, aunty. he's really stubborn and won't open up but i'm trying my best to be there for him, but i somehow still feel this isn't enough..."

jisoo sighed. "my son's always been like that. he never showed his pain, he's always held things in... but this? hanahaki? this is unreal, soobin..." she paused, her voice breaking slightly. "do you maybe know who...?"

soobin's voice became softer. "i don't... he didn't tell me. i don't want to push him." he stopped for a moment before finally voicing his thoughts. "i think he's scared... of rejection. he always has put others first."

jisoo's voice cracked, tears welling up in her eyes again. "he's my only son, soobin. i can't lose him. if you notice anything—anything at all—promise me you'll tell me? even if he doesn't want you to."

"i promise. he's not alone, aunty. he has me."

yeonjun's mom patted his back. "you're a good person, soobin. thank you... for everything."

he stood up. "i'll get going now, aunty. i know you'll take good care of yeonjun, but take care of yourself too," he said, offering her a soft, reassuring smile.

jisoo nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "you too, dear."

"i'm literally just a shout away. call me if you need anything, aunty!"

he stepped out the door, as jisoo nodded. a faint scent of flowers reached his nose, reminding him of the pain yeonjun was going through.

hanahaki. the word hung heavily in his mind, as did yeonjun's pained expression and his mom's tear streaked face.

who could it be? why can't he let it out?