𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐏𝐒 cry three times.

The first, in a sandy desert in 2008.

It after she and Tony had escaped captivity in Afghanistan. Steve had landed the plane he and Rhodey were using to lead the four-month search for his husband and daughter and sprinted towards them, leaving the military team in the dust. He'd collapsed to his knees in front of his little family, pulling Tony in close and kissing his rough, chapped lips with a softness Charlie had forgotten existed, before kissing her forehead, cooling her sweaty skin with his tears.

Charlie had been so badly overheated that she'd barely registered the moment, but she remembered her Pop's red, swollen eyes and scrunched up face like it happened yesterday. In that moment, it had dawned other just how bad what had happened to her was; if it had made Pops cry like this, it made sense why it had made her feel like this.

The second was when Charlie had broken down two years ago, at Clint Barton's farmhouse. Wanda's mind control had fucked with all of them, but nothing could have prepared her for her parent's heartbroken reactions when they realized their baby had been repeatedly assaulted and raped at seven years old, in a lonely, cold cave thousands of miles away from home.

The third time had been just a few months ago. Charlie had been awoken in the middle of the night by low, hoarse screams coming from her parent's bedroom. She had stumbled out of bed, blind with panic, her head foggy from sleep, and ran to Tony and Steve's bedroom door.

Inside their room, Tony held an inconsolable, gasping Steve, whose eyes were red and haunted, tears staining his cheeks. "A nightmare of epic proportions", Tony had called it the next morning, but he wouldn't tell her what it was about. Judging by the way Steve avoided all looking out of the windows for the next few days, however, she figured it had something to do with a certain train in 1945, and watching his best friend fall to his presumed death before he could save him.

Now, today, was a fourth time.

The English chapel was bathed in a soft, sunset-like glow, light streaming through the stained glass windows. A choir of children dressed in white were singing, accompanied by the distinct playing of an organ.

The room was packed full of people- S.H.I.E.L.D personnel, friends and family Charlie very distantly recognized from over the years, and even some of the old people from Peggy's nursing home. Even with everyone here, it was still a closed service, and despite Peggy being one of the most famous people on the planet after last year, there weren't any paparazzi in sight.

Which meant Charlie didn't have to attend her Aunt's funeral in a disguise.

There was an indescribable feeling in the pit of Charlie's stomach. Something deep and heavy and somehow, simultaneously empty; clawing its way up her throat and into her eyes, dripping down her cheeks and clumping her eyelashes together.

She'd never felt something like this before. Sure, she'd lost a couple of people- Yinsen and Obie when she was seven, and Pietro a couple of years ago- but those people hadn't really been hers.

Peggy had been.

And now, she lay in a closed casket, being carried down the aisle of the church towards the priest at the other end.

Steve and Tony led the walk, each of them on either side of the front of the casket.

Steve's eyes were red, his lips pursed, tears streaming silently down his cheeks and he sucked in a quick, sharp breath, passing by the front pew. His arms were steady, carrying his corner of the coffin, but Charlie hadn't missed the way his fingers trembled.

One of his last connections to his old life in the 40's was gone.

Tony was a bit more composed- after having to publicly deal with grief after his parent's deaths, he unfortunately had experience with this. But Charlie had no doubt that the second they got home, he would break down and lock himself in his lab for the next couple of days.

The last semblance he had of a motherly figure was gone.

Charlie blinked and the tears in her eyes blurred her vision once again.

She hadn't realized how tightly she'd been gripping her black dress until a rough, significantly larger hand took hers. She looked up and Rhodey gave her a sad smile, letting her lean into him.

Happy stood on her other side, gently rubbing Pepper's back. The pretty strawberry-blonde woman sniffed, reaching up to wipe away a tear that had slipped onto her cheek. Charlie hiccuped- God, she was a mess- and Happy gently took her other hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"I got you, honey," He murmured- and for all his grumpiness and stoic pride and lack of emotion, Happy Hogan was really just a big softy.

She felt a bit more supported, now.

But still so, so out of place.

Peggy being dead was somehow so real and also an out-of-body experience. Charlie had been exposed to the near-death of pretty much everyone she knew- but every time, it hadn't stuck. Sure, there'd been the stomach-dropping and the panic and the tears, but it had never-

It had never been so permanent. So sure. There weren't any if's, ands, or buts about it.

It was a kind of deep realization Charlie couldn't describe.

Suddenly, the concept of death was much more real.

"When I came out of the ice," Steve said quietly, "I thought everyone I had known was gone."

The chapel was empty now. The sun was setting through the windows, bathing the few remaining people in a warm glow.

Tony's head was bowed, his hands in his pockets, His jaw was tight as he leaned against one of the pews.

Charlie sat by his side, legs crossed. She was toying with the I Love You 3000 charm on her necklace- one that she hadn't picked up in a couple of years. She stared at Natasha, whose curled hair flowed over her shoulder as her green eyes settled on Steve.

"Then I found out that she was alive. I was just lucky to have her."

"She had you back, too," Nat said quietly. "She introduced you to Tony, and Rhodes, and Pepper, and that led to meeting the rest of us. We've still got you, Steve."

Steve's voice was hollow. "Who else signed?"

Nat exchanged a quick glance with Tony.

"Rhodey. Vision."

Steve nodded. "Clint?"

Nat smiled slightly. "Says he's retired."

"Wanda?"

Charlie looked up, watching for Nat's reaction.

As always, the Black Widow's face gave away nothing. "TBD. I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords." She studied Steve's face. "There's plenty of room on the jet."

Charlie didn't have to even look at Steve to know his reaction.

"Just because it's the path of least resistance," Nat said quietly, "doesn't mean it's the wrong path. Staying together is more important than how we stay together."

Charlie couldn't have said it better.

Steve shook his head, unconvinced. "I'm sorry, Nat."

"I know," Nat said quietly.

Tony 's eyes had been carefully trained on the floor until now. "We're going to talk more about it at home."

Nat's eyes flickered between the two of them. Her eyes settled on Tony for a moment longer; she knew where he stood.

The question was if he could get Steve to stand with him.

"Come here," she said softly. She moved forward at the same time Steve did, settling into a hug that Charlie's Pops looked like he desperately needed.

"Thanks for coming, Nat," Tony said, accepting a hug from her as well. She smiled at him knowingly.

Charlie stood, her eyes closing as Nat's arms pulled her in close.

Her aunt kissed her temple, lowering her voice so only Charlie could hear, as Steve and Tony walked a bit further down the aisle, voices tight.

"The next little while is probably going to be rough," Nat said quietly. Charlie leaned her head against her, listening closely. "These two boneheads are some of the most stubborn people I've ever met. They're going to be going at it, but just don't... try not to let them get to you, okay, honey? You need to remember that you're allowed to be a kid."

Charlie pulled away, brows furrowed.

The intense look on Nat's face said a thousand words.

Charlie nodded. "I will."

Nat smiled, her hands resting on Charlie's elbows, before squeezing. "Good."

With that, she turned and walked down the aisle of the church, heels clacking against the floor.

"Charlie."

Charlie force her gaze to her parents, who stood about ten feet away. They weren't touching, not even holding hands- there was an obvious tension between them that she so badly wished wasn't there.

"Ready to go home?" Tony asked, his eyes still a bit red.

Charlie nodded slowly, moving away from them pew and towards her parents. When she reached them, she slipped her hand into Tony's, using the other to tug Steve's into her grip.

Charlie, holding each of their hands and simultaneously holding them together, made the first step out of the chapel.

"You already know where I stand," Tony said loudly, his voice tight and angry.

"And you know where I stand!"

"So why the fuck won't you just listen to me?!"

A tear trailed down the end of Charlie's nose and she sniffled, pulling her legs impossibly tighter to her chest.

"You're not listening to me, Steve! The Accords are not a done deal, we have all the time in the world to adjust them, if we just sign now!"

"I'm not going to sign documents giving up our right to choose, Tony!"

"First of all, that's bullshit and you know it, and second- not even if it's the only way to keep us safe? Steve, we have a child. A child who's snuck out onto the battlefield before, in the middle of our recklessness, and it's miracle she wasn't killed."

"So you want more rules. More regulations. You think that's going to fix anything?"

Charlie clutched the blanket around her shoulders tighter, letting her head fall back onto the door, sucking in a shuddering breath as another tear fell onto her cheek.

Sleep was the last thing on her mind right now, despite it being almost midnight. If she wanted to, she could have V.E.R.O.N.I.C.A activate the sound barrier around her bedroom, and she would be free from the arguing- but she couldn't.

Knowing her dads were arguing, screaming at each other, lashing out, how could she?

She decided to torture herself by settling by her bedroom for and listening in instead.

"You're looking at this form an extremely privileged perspective, Steve!" Tony shouted. "Do you realize everything we've done? How much of a mess we make everywhere we go? We never have all of the information, and without S.H.E.I.L.D guiding us, we're a loose cannon!"

"You're right," Steve said. "The Avengers never done anything good. We just wreak havoc wherever we go-"

"Don't fucking patronize me, Steve. We both know what this is really about."

"If I sign this, it means I'm giving up on ever getting Bucky back," Steve said- and there it was. The real kicker.

Tony was silent for a moment. "I know how hard this is for you. But have you ever considered that the Barnes are probably safest in their own hands? Chasing after them, forcing them to come back and live in a society that they don't know how to live in- how is that fair?"

"They were brainwashed, Tony. The things they've been doing- it's not their fault."

"I never said it was," Tony said. "What I am saying is that you can't just dismiss the United fucking Nations for two people. It's not fair, and it's definitely not a good look. This isn't just our government, Steve, it's 117 countries. You're telling me you know better than 117 countries?"

"I'm not giving up on Bucky and Becca, Tony," Steve said, and there was finality in his tone. "Just like I wouldn't give up on you if you were in their place."

"You are giving up on me, though, Steve." Tony's tone was dull. "That's exactly what you're doing right now."

Charlie dug the heels on her hands into her eyes miserably. The temperature in her room had dropped, leaving her shivering from cold or fear, she couldn't tell.

Her parents weren't coming back from this.

"I'm getting on that plane tomorrow," Tony said quietly. "And I'm signing the fucking Accords. You can trust me, and join me on that flight, or not."

"Tony-"

There was a small thud. "I'm going to be in the lab. Goodnight."

"Tony..." Steve's voice trailed off.

There was no response.

Charlie's heart splintered into a thousand tiny pieces.

A/N

things are getting ROUGH.

civil war is going to be, by far, one of the hardest books to write. there are so many different sides, and everybody is operating on a different agenda.

This book is where Charlie really starts growing up, and it's brutal. Things are a lot more real for her now- losing Peggy, her parents fighting, realizing the Avengers aren't some magical, untouchable force she so badly wants to be a part of. civil war is an emotional movie.

steve and tony obviously have very different views. y'all are definitely allowed to have your own opinions. i am and always have been team iron man. steve was arrogant and selfish through the whole movie- and it made me mad. they turned him into a convenient plot point and i feel like he was extremely out of character. he never would have acted the way he did. i love steve rogers, and that wasn't him.

the barnes aren't to blame, of course. they are perfect babies who can do no wrong. the russos need to leave them alone.

i hope i'm doing the character justice. while i like not just copy+pasting the script, and giving them original dialogue, it can be challenging.

drink some water, and take your anti-depressants. shit getting real