Hello beautiful people, welcome here. How are you, I hope that you are well. Thanks for choosing this book 💕

And don't forget to give your love to Ms_starsky . She is REALLY a good friend.

So let's get it.

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I was walking towards my classroom trying not to make any eye contact. Everyone hates seeing nerds every day. They don't even know I exist. Why do they call this a school, it's particularly a type of hell. Nobody comes to study here. They just want to bully someone, like me. They make the person's life a living hell.

This school is a hell hole. I feel like throwing myself from a bridge. I can do everything in respect to not come to this place.

Minutes feel like hours of walking, I saw my class is near me. I was about to enter my class, a girl pushed me. I fell on the ground, hard. I groan as my head makes contact with the wall.

"Oh my gosh! Just see her, groaning because of a simple thing, so weak. Pathetic!!" She made a disgusting face at me.

Avoid it.

As much as you can.

I felt some liquid wetting my uniform. In my view, black boy shoes were there. I look up at him and he smirks at me as he opens another bottle and throws some water on my face. I close my eyelids. The effect is too much that my eyes are stinging. My eyes blur with tears.

"Die bitch. No one wants you!!" He yells at my face and walks away. A small sob left my lips, as I clean myself.

Everyone hates me. Nobody wants me...

Why are they doing this? What have I done to them?

I don't even know this boy....or anyone.

I walked through the hallway, trying to run as soon as possible, not wanting any more drama. I enter the washroom, after cleaning myself properly.

My watch beeps telling me that it's time for lunch. My stomach growls loudly. I sigh and pat my stomach lightly 'shushing' it. I can't eat. My cravings are increasing day by day.

"My body is hungry. But I am not" I don't want to eat. I am getting fat. I see my reflection in the mirror, scars are visible on my hands, but that's doesn't matter right now. My cheeks are getting chubbier than usual. But I skip breakfast...I didn't eat last night too.
I am not eating anything..but my weight...it's not reflecting a bit.

I skip my lunch. I went to the terrace as I feel fresh air kissing my cheeks. I smile.

Nobody wants to be my friend.

Am I that bad?

Maybe.

Well, I disappoint everybody, why will they like a person like me?

I look up the scene, this height is beautiful... All those people who are troubling me are lower than me right now, roaming here and there in the playground.

Am I the only one who feels sad when I come to school?

I saw everyone is enjoying their life. I envied them, they are just so perfect. The smile on their faces tells that they are free from all the dark things. They celebrate everything, every moment. I don't have anything in my life which can be celebrated. Not even my own family love me, except fathe-.

"Hey, little friend." Someone says from behind.
I move my head as I see 'my only friend' standing there. She slowly came and sit beside me.

"Hiiii." I let out a small meaningful 'hii'. I am genuinely so happy, definitely on the terrace with a little friend. She always calls my scar beautiful. She always cares for me. Such a beautiful girl. Spending time with her is something I will ask more and more for. She always helps me with those bullies. It's not like they are harsh or something just I am not ready for them to give me scars.

Scars.

"Oh..... I forget something" I shyly bring my hand forward, so she can see my beautiful hands. I am a little embarrassed, they are not fresh. I didn't cut yesterday. I was tired. I sleep on the floor after my parents beating.

She slowly makes her hands towards me. "Gorgeous." She said as she touches my scars. "They are gorgeous." She repeats amusingly.

Gorgeous.

Am I gorgeous?

I giggled, she smiles at me. She is the only one who cuts me whenever I forget to. She makes me believe that she is there for me when I feel pain. Whenever I cut myself no one was there. She is the first person. All of a sudden she press my wrists hard, making me cry.

"I-I....." I feel myself jolt suddenly from the pain. I don't know what she was doing but I don't have that power to stop her, she never listens. She told me that she knows what she is doing and it will make me feel good and that's what I want. This pain to go away.

"It's kay, love. Just some minutes more." I was sobbing my eyes out. My other hand is on my mouth to suppress my disgusting sounds. She tells me how to be a good girl when someone is loving you.

"You're doing good, girl." She says. I saw the scars bleed out. The way the red liquid is dripping from my hands to the floor makes it beautiful. She laughs at me, signaling me to look down. My other hands were now free, as I release them from my mouth, mesmerized by seeing the color. I look up at her expectantly and yes, she is smiling.

I made it.

She is happy...I am happy too...

I make someone happy today. I will...I will tell my father. He will be happy too. They never make me bleed. They just make scars. But this is new. I smile as I think of them. My thoughts get cut off when she says something.

"I feel like giving you more scars." She says. I didn't waste a little bit of time and take out the cutter from my pocket and give that to her. She takes the cutter so beautifully, I am... I just can't get over it.

"Such a good girl for me. Huh?? Do you want scars that bad?" She smirks at me, caressing my back of the hand.

I nod my head shyly. "If it makes you happy." I bit my lips as I look at her. "You are happy.....I am happy. I tilted my head to the right side, pointing at her then at me.

"You always make me happy." She smiles and opens the cutter cap. I bring both of my hands forward so she can cut as much as she wants. I excitedly jump when she put the blade on my skin.

"Ready to feel no pain." I nod my head like crazy.

"Promises me only I can do this. Nobody can touch you as I do. This is mine. The pleasure I am giving you is mine. Everything is mine. I will make you feel numb, just baby concentrate on this feeling, don't think about anything. Focus on me and these glorious scars. That will make you realize that this pain is more painful than those words. It will make you feel good, there's nothing beautiful than this." She caresses my skin lovingly.

"That's a beautiful feeling, right? No pain...feeling of numbness...nothing. It will be euphoric. And listen, when you feel light-headed tell me. I will stop." She smiles at me. A beautiful one but sad, my face changed quickly.

"Y-You are sad. Did I make a mistake? I am sorry I didn't make the promise." I bring my pinky out as she links our pinkies together. Then she shakes her head, telling me not to worry about me. She is not mad, just thinking something.

"You make me happy, so happy." She smiles and presses the sharp blade in my skin.

The blade stabs in my skin, making me hiss out badly. I whimpered as tears blur my eyes completely. I can't see anything besides the big blurry circle of color 'red'. My breathing picks up the pace. White dots are visible in my sight. My throat becomes dry as I gulp vigorously.

I can take it.

I......will take it.

Just a little more.

I feel light-headed, but this makes me happy. I can do this. But I lose my balance as I fall. She immediately catches me in her arms. She never disappoints me as I do. In her embrace, I feel free. Beautiful yet dangerous feelings start developing in my mind.

"You did it, girl. Just feel this." I nod my head slowly, my eyes closed tightly, headrest on her chest.

"Y-You are just like my p-parents." I smile and confessed for the first time, hugging her tightly embracing her warmth. I can see she is confused like a little lost puppy.

She is cute.

"They give me treatment regularly. They are very happy with my performance. You are too, right just like they are?" She doesn't have that smile anymore. She just hugs me.

Father says when someone hugs you, they protect you.

She is protecting me, with everything.

Only she can give me scars. She promised me.

Nobody can touch me.

I am hers.

She gives me whatever I want. I feel something dripping on my face. I look up and saw she is crying. I was confused.

Is she not happy?

But, father says if someone is crying, the tears can be of happiness and can be of sadness.

Wait.

Is she so Happy? Or Is she so sad?

I tap her shoulder lightly with my index finger, gaining her attention. "Why are you crying? Are you feeling so much happiness ?" I ask her, a pout visible on my face.

"No, hell. What am I even doing? I am not happy anymore." She sobs out.

"Oh wait, where's the cutter, we can do it again if you are feeling sad. I will make you happy in some seconds." I give her the most beautiful smile of mine.

But...

She cries more and more...

"N-No buns. This is not right? You don't understand this? We are just doing bullshits. This hurts... I know... You are hurting. I am sorry." she sobbed heavily apologizing repeatedly. I hug her tightly not knowing what to do.

"It's only making my inner demon happy. I was just using you. When I see you, I will throw all my anger on you. Look at those scars. I am a monster. I am just a fucking monster."

"No! no! no! You are not a monster. You are my friend. Are you using me like my father, he always releases his stress on me. He told me that I am her favorite punching bag. He told me that I am her cutest girl. He will never leave me. If you are also like this then please don't leave me too." I tell her enthusiastically.

"Just stop....please stop don't say anything. I will take you to the infirmary. I will do my best to protect you baby from everything." I nod my head. I will do as she says. She helps me to stand up.

"I have to protect you from myself too." She says something but that's barely audible. I ask her but she told me it's nothing. Maybe she is better now, but.

I am not feeling better now.

The feeling was gone.

The numbness is gone...only pain is there.

After a while, we arrived infirmary and she leads me to one of the beds, I lie down and close my eyes. She covers me with the sheets as she pats my head.
"Sleep well, baby." She whispered.

"My cutest doll."

Doll??

What!!!!?????

Where am I?

Darkness...my eyes.

They are heavy...I can't open them.

The same feeling.

"Wake up doll. It's time for your dose." I can feel the smirk lying on his face. I froze at this voice. My blood ran cold. Shivers ran down my spine.

The white coat boy...

No! No!....... This can't be happening.

How can I be here... No!!

I want my friend, I want her...

She is my home.

She protects me.

This place is not mine.

This smell.

This f-foul smell....blood...and blood.

I am afraid.

But...why I am afraid... I love seeing bloo--.

"Open your eyes doll. You can do it today."

NO! I don't want to open my eyes. They are bad people....they always inject something into me. I can't be here.

The syringes...

Everything is happening here.

I feel something in my head...what is this?

They make me wear something.

"You are not listening, right? You want it in a hard way. I will grant your wish, darling." As he says that, I frown my eyes before screaming my heart out. My eyes shot open due to the high electric shocks. My throat hurts badly. I feel myself getting numb per second as they give me more power of shocks. I feel my breathing stopped. After a while, they stopped.

I saw stars in my vision. Thousands of images cover my head. Memories of my past are being slideshow in front of me. My head hurts like hell.

Stay away from me...

Don't fucking touch me with your filthy hands!!

I want to shout this so hard but nothing comes out. He holds my jaw tightly.

Those ceiling...the feeling of being chained...the sound of water dripping. Machines...everything is there.

"Welcome to the hell hole, doll."

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