Hey, my cute little pumpkins. I'm here *nervous laugh* Okay, I am so sorry for the late update when I clearly told you I will update every week. It's been more than ten freaking days. I apologize for it 😔

Happy birthday to my cutest pumpkin, my adorable baby girl
_PSXGOTHVC
Congratulations on her 18th birthday 🎉yepiee...she turned eighteen ❤❤ and this is my birthday gift to her because I can't give her anything other than this and my love. So this chapter is dedicated to her.

And thanks to my eternal best for supporting me so much like freaking so much god! I really appreciate her existence. Thanks for helping me always Ms_starsky

let's get it 💜

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Jimin was sobbing his soul out in front of his Hyung as he repeated those agonizing accidents that happened what feels like some minutes ago. 

Gulping now and then, he delivered every single word like rain. As if they were just flowing out of his lips and never wanted to stop until every inch of pain would fade away itself. Until he's drained out of his emotions, anger, sadness, and finally becomes numb.

He dragged his body towards his hyung's embrace. Perhaps, for now, it's the only thing that will make him sane. Not being able to breathe in between his words he clutched his heart, trying to stop himself from talking but it didn't stop. 

His arms were shaking as he gripped the grey hoodie of his Hyung for some relief. The heavy hand of Hoseok practically was lying on his curled body to give some sense of relaxation since there's no strength left in it. 

His hobi Hyung was sobbing too in despair. The shadow of sadness was way too big than any solace, so they can't see anything other than suffering. 

The lonely blue water of their feelings is turning into sand. Into the desert. An un-foundable and barren desert. 

Those tiny particles of sand that are their souls were breathing into the high temperature of the dry desert and as always the wind is blowing them away from each other. 

"Stop God—d!" 

Hoseok's voice trembled, eyes twitched, a long thick tear rolled down itself on the ground when the horrible images of what happened back then formed in front of his eyes because of Jimin's narration. 

He sniffled and closed his eyes tightly to get rid of his imagination. He can see everything in front of him. The unbearable pain, the helpless state, his numb body, the drunken man, and his own voiceless lips. 

The past of his is repeating itself, but now in a different form. 

This is how everything began to occur. 

Locking him alone in the red hall for hours till his hand went numb and all left was a painful motionless body. A give-up mind with nothing left in it except the need to stop breathing and leave everything behind him. 

They submerged his whole body in that tank, trying to sow seeds of fear in his mind by scaring him with dangerous animals. 

Tears never stopped that day. They continued until he became unconscious, head down, lips red, body white, and covered with bite marks. 

After that, he never spoke to anyone there. That day, that was the first day of his terrible life when someone lays their hands on him. 

He touched him, Scar touched him. 

Raped him.  

And then there are no words exchanged by any of them. It was just the grunts and moans of the disgusting greedy wolf disguised in the skin of a human. 

Hobi suffered. 

He endured everything for them. 

Every scar that was left on his body was like a shield. A protective guard that was saving his two angels from this part of his life. He didn't want anything like this to happen to them.

As they told him, manipulate him by notifying him that his two precious lives for which he is still breathing, are in danger. 

Everything is in his hands. 

He just needs to submit himself to him.  

They beat the shit out of Jimin and Sun and showed the exact video to him on a great grand screen as they both screamed in pain and shivered at every punch that landed on them by Scar's well built bodyguards. 

Eyes of Hoseok never left the screen for a mere second where he saw for the first time Jimin seemed so frightened because Hyung wasn't there to help him. 

The way Jimin's crescent moon eyes panicked and spilled tears of pain as he looked around the room to find his hobi hyungie because they slept together and now he wasn't there. 

Jimin was shaking but there's something he understood, he had to protect himself and Sun. No one will help them. These heartless people will never listen to his anguish. 

Hoseok was begging them to stop this nonsense. 

And the moment Scar touched him with his filthy hands, they stopped beating them. Hobi was still disgusted by the thought of someone touching him, but then that happened. 

The tank, animals, pain, loneliness, and numbness. 

Hoseok never told his two angels about it. There's nothing to tell because when he came back they were sleeping together, hugging each other as if someone would tear them apart in sleep. 

And their beating scars were healing. 

Because he met them after one month. One month of undergoing endless raping, limitless words penetrated his heart and made him a doll. 

A living doll. 

A doll who does nothing, speaks nothing, feels nothing. 

He just takes it. Every push, every shove, and every stroke, which leads him to one more step towards the peaceful escape, death. 

His empty icy blue eyes opened when Jimin hugged him tightly in his embrace, incoherent words evacuated his and Jimin's lips as Hoseok began to feel dizzy. 

The memories of what he has been through are hard to remember. He tried everything to stop those nasty people from reaching both of his angels for this work. 

Pleasuring that wolf. 

But now it seems like all his suffering and pain was nothing. 

Because they touched his sister. His life, his tiny life that still hasn't bloomed yet to become a beautiful woman. 

She must have thought about how her first will be on a soft fluffy bed, her favorite flower petals scattered on the white sheet of fiber beautifying the mattress, as she and her lover, become together by body and soul.

But what happened. . . 

They snatched it!

But he fears that it's the start of something twisted. His mind was swirling in different directions and his body was slowly shutting down. 

I didn't want to sleep! You need me! Don't let me sleep, Jiminie. Wake me up! Please I don't. . . wanted to. . to s—sleep. . . . . 

He was screaming inside his mind, yelling to the outside world to listen to his wails that he wanted to stay awake for now. He doesn't want to sleep. A part of him was scared and was worried that maybe, this is the last time he was seeing both of them in front of his eyes. 

But a small part of him wanted to sleep. Sleep is the safest escape in this world. Yet the bigger part wanted to stay awake. 

He can feel Jimin hugging him tighter, so tighter but he can't see him. He saw how in front of his wild eyes the pages of his memories turned and he fell unconscious on the surface. 

But before falling asleep he just wanted to know when the three of them finally breathe. 

-

Meanwhile, when Jimin saw the steel gate unlocked. And for the very first time, he questioned the lad who always gave them injections at this time. 

"What's this doze?" 

He mumbled out, voice raspy because of crying hard but curiosity and worry still dripping all over his question. 

When he saw the boy with the pink long hair move forward towards his Hyung to give him the unknown drug, he wrapped his small hands tightly around his Hyung, hugging and protecting him from the boy like a baby chick saving his big Mumma. 

"None of your business!" 

The boy reprimanded him but it felt more fake as if the boy doesn't want to be rude. 

He has to be rude and harsh to them. 

Jimin already knows that he can not stop the boy from doing this. But he still wanted to know since he has only three injections not nine. 

"I—I'm just asking. Nothing m—more!" His voice trailed when he saw how the other boy glared at him. But from other days, he noticed the gaze has a little spark of softness in it. 

But it's impossible. 

Probably, Jimin is going crazy and imagining things, because no one is human here. 

To his relief, the boy answered, "There will be no side effects for now" he mumbled while injecting the fluids in Hoseok's body. To say Jimin was unsure and so perplexed by the answer of the boy who stands over the girl to give her injection is an understatement. 

The boy, who had somewhat exact plump lips as Jimin, licks his lips probably in uneasiness or because of tension. 

Jimin wasn't confident about what to say. After a few moments, he came forward and injected the doze into his body too, and left the room with heavy steps. 

For the very first time, the effect wasn't him feeling like flying in the sky or any euphoric reactions, it was just relaxation. As if he started to feel safe. His body was less painful than before. It was a favorable reaction so he was happy. 

His eyes were not spilling tears, they were gone. 

Leaving the puffiness on his apple cheeks. 

'Maybe finally they all realized that we three are not very helpful.' Jimin supposed in his mind and tried to sit properly on the floor. 

And he did it. 

His body was not numb, was not senseless, he could feel everything. Some scars started healing slowly, as he felt no pain in them. 

There were many questions in his mind, but he tried to stop him from thinking hard because he needs rest. Both of his people are sleeping peacefully now. 

When his eyes landed on Hoseok Hyung, he saw how placid he seemed despite the scars and wounds on his body. He was sleeping in a very comfortable position. 

Jimin chuckled after a very long time, he himself forgot how his laugh sounds in this hell. But seeing Hyung sleeping like this, so beautifully, he can't help but let his emotions out. 

He properly tucked the grey hoodie of his Hyung in his pants trying to make him feel less cold. 

Wait? Less cold? 

His eyes automatically wandered around all the room corners and now he felt something changed. The temperature. Yes, the temperature is warmer than normal days. 

Is it summer? Is it already summer? But they said the new year came some days ago. How can it be summer this fast? 

But. . .but they also said the trio can't feel or see anything from the outside world because this place, this room, every room is sealed. 

After heaving a sigh in defeat, he pouted. He isn't good at maths or counting days. Maybe they just changed the temperature themselves for some experiment. 

It can be anything. 

When his body turned in another direction, his smiley orbs landed on her, his angel. His princess, who is also napping quietly on the cold white floor after all the torture from which Jimin couldn't protect her. 

Bringing his hands together he rubs them in his face and inhales deeply, trying not to tear up in between. When he exhaled, his entire body felt relaxed than before, again. 

It was all maybe the effects of the drug they have given them. 

His intense emotional eyes sketched her body scars in his mind. Some marks are visible, but he is confident they will recover. 

But what about those wounds which were sitting deep inside her soul, how can he find a cure for them? 

Is there even a cure for it? 

Or they will never repair?

Jimin was frightened like Hyung for the same reason. 

He moved forward when he heard a slight sob from her pretty red chapped lips. Without giving rise to any type of noises, the tiny body of his slowly sat in front of her sleeping figure, his back sticking to the wall behind him.  

When the crescent moon eyes fluttered in need to learn what the reason behind her small sobs was, he saw everything that happened a while ago in a blink. Images of him and her in the red hall, struggling and battling for life and survival just because they promised somebody to not leave them behind. 

Sun didn't stop sniffling since how badly she was dreaming one of the worst dreams of her life. 

But Jimin was not aware of it. 

Despite not knowing the reason for her tears, he nonetheless made an effort harder than before. Words that can make her feel at ease, massage on the spots of her body that will relax her, and many more. 

He tried everything. 

The thing is, she wasn't behaving weird, it was just her lower body was in pain, by what Scar did to her. Jimin came to know this later when the beauty softly pressed her fingers on her lower stomach to find some relief. All she was trying with herself, rubbing it softly. 

But there's something Jimin noticed, whenever she gets slight solace from the pain, her body shuts down and she starts sleeping. But the pain didn't stop and it began to emerge again in her body, clearly disturbing her sleep here and then. 

Jimin doesn't know what to do. Should he rub her stomach for her so she can sleep peacefully?

Is it okay? No this is wrong!

Touching her without her permission is honestly wrong!

His eyes saw how in seconds her body curled on the floor. It was not hidden from Jimin that she was uncomfortable. After touching her forehead for a second he felt how much she was heating up in the fever. 

He too has a fever but now he has nothing. He feels completely fine. But her fever is not dropping at all. After seeing how many times she tossed and turned in her sleep, Jimin decided to make a move. 

His left hand reached out for her, he softly and steadily moved her head and put it on his thighs. She stirred for a second but since how much she was tired, she slept right away, making Jimin smile. 

"So brave" 

He softly whispered, eyeing her admiringly, his tiny chubby fingers stroked the delicate scalp of her jet ebony color hairs. 

When Jimin saw her for the first time, her hair reached her soft shoulders. But now, all these years because of not cutting her hair for once, they are touching her waist. She always makes a loose bun of it and her baby hair adores the side of her face giving her a pretty look. 

He gently parted his fingers and with the thumb, he dabbed the line of her tears. There were her cheeks, almost inviting him to caress them till they went a shade of red in embarrassment. 

Jimin was trying not to wake her up but he was almost thirsting to touch those beautiful cheeks. So he inhaled a long breath and ever so slowly entered the personal space of her and poked the left cheek. 

Immediately, he flinched back and closed his eyes tightly, guessing in his mind that he woke her up. 

But when he re-opened his eyes she was still sleeping but was also pouting and burying her face into his thighs more saying something, "want this. . .not this." 

She whispered almost as if she was cutely threatening someone in her dream. To which Jimin giggled out of nowhere at the action. He was totally amused, finding it so adorable. 

Suddenly when she shyly mumbled, emphasizing the word, "nooooo" while her eyebrows frowned, he couldn't control himself and again invaded her space to do something he will never regret. 

Not even for a second. 

His love overflows all his emotions when he moves down to kiss her temple lazily. But he didn't move from the place. Because of her. And for himself. He just stays there for seconds, submerging himself into her body. 

As if he feels like even that mere kiss will kill him from inside and make him submit to his only love, to his girl. 

Sun.

And he will happily do it for her. Jimin was so happy to survive this minute. 

He wants to harm himself to live this moment. Because it's precious. Being so close to her is precious. He closed his eyes, still his face near to her temples where he kissed. She nonetheless has the incense of crystal water-like beaches in her hair. 

When he opened his eyes after what felt like a moment and sat back, his eyes were spilling tears. Tears of unhappiness, grief, and misery. These distances between her and him, this destiny, this uncontrollable fate all were too much to handle.

Jimin looked away from her sleeping body. This time the drug didn't stop him from crying hard. His hands are still working on her scalp. 

She gave birth to the softness he has in his heart. And now he came to know how big it is.

How much she can affect him from inside. He will never get out of it if he doesn't stop now. But he doesn't want to. He can never even think about leaving her. 

It scares Jimin to feel how much power she has over him when she is doing nothing. 

How overwhelming it is, this love. 

This anguish love. 

But he didn't want to fight. Jimin can not fight. How can he battle when he already knows who will win?

Who will make him feel real weak just by looking at them.

Who is the real queen of his heart, he knows it.

'What is all this? Why am I thinking this badly?' 

His eyes cried pathetically, his body whimpered badly as he thought of the situation he is in today. 

His hands desperately wiped all his tears in anger. This outrage was something he couldn't control. Something inside him always warns him that there's no place for him in her heart. But he didn't want to think. 

He just wanted to live in this moment, with her. 

"God, my—my heart is a real problem."

He cracks into a broken grin as his intense stare touches her pretty face. 

Is it possible that she looks more beautiful than yesterday? 

God! 

She is insanely gorgeous for his weak heart. 

"You're. . . you're so courageous. Like a warrior." Words automatically whisper out from his parted red lips when he thinks about the accidents that happened in these few days. He can never forget the face of hers where she thought 'this was the last second of her life. 

But even when she thought about giving up, her body didn't. 

She truly is a fighter. 

'Why do you think you're weak, Sun-ah?' Automatically, words came out of his lips, and if he wanted to say this for a very long time. This time he mumbled to himself. 

Not wanting her to listen to what he's saying. 

'You are not weak. You are far from weak. The weak one here is me. Me! Who doesn't know what to do with this woeful heart?' Burying his face into his right hand, practically hiding from his own existence.  

'You don't know what your presence did to me and what it is still doing. You and Hyung are the reason I'm still breathing. You are like a lifeboat to me, who always makes me realize that no matter how strong the storms are, the boat will protect me! You will protect me.' 

He uttered to himself, after separating his face from his hands slowly, he glanced at the beauty who is still resting her head on his thighs. 

'Thanks for being here with me. You and Hyung are all I want for now.' Jimin's small fingers thread her hair softly, he didn't want to end this affection he is giving her. 

'I think my father must have forgotten my existence already. He never appreciated me when I was with him. How can he now?' A weak scoff fled his plum lips when he tried to remember what his father did to him. 

'Mother? Oh! My mother was probably still waiting for her son to come back to her. . .  How can I tell her that I don't even remember her face? The mere thing I remember is that she exists somewhere in my memories.' 

He talked to himself, trying to remember his past. Trying to remember her mother's face, imagining that she is wiping his tears and telling him that 'you are my strong son'.

Jimin tells himself that he needs to be strong for his Hyung and his angel. 

But there's something else in his mind too. The voice in his head tells him otherwise, which he definitely doesn't want to hear. Something which is still on the tip of his tongue, he desperately wanted to express his feelings in words.

But all he was doing is whisper to himself.

'Sun-ah I will always be there for you, I promise with my life.' Determination flashed in his weak low voice as he brushes the few frickles she has on her right cheek. Apparently, that's that side of her face was only visible to Jimin.

'I promise I'm never gonna be away from you. Not for a second in true circumstances.' His intense stare wasn't leaving her for a mere second.

Clearly, he can feel the confidence building inside him when he thinks about loving the strongest girl in his eyes.

She wasn't any girl he ever spends time with, she was his inspiration, his insight, his motivation to keep living.

The girl never said two words of love to him. But the way she stared at him with brown doe eyes like she truly has no faith in anyone other than him is what makes Jimin keep loving her.

Without thinking twice about the intimacy, he reached out for her, with his left palm, he gently grabs the back of her head. Her body unconsciously moves forward towards his stomach to make herself comfortable in sleep. Her face facing Jimin. 

As he saw how close she was again with his body, he speaks out, caressing the back of her head where his palm was already loving her hair and burning warmth,

'If any dangers were aiming at you, they have to pass through me first before it finally hits you.'

He shortened the longest distance between him and her heart and gave a small, lovely, wet peck on her nose, 'And I'm never gonna let them hurt you. I swear to God Sun.'

And now, for a very sheer second, his mind makes him think that it doesn't matter to him if she loves him or not. He still gonna do everything.

And he doesn't wanna say it out loud but it hurts.

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Me after this chapter :