𝐒𝐈𝐗. 𝖫𝖴𝖫𝖫

The sun was setting over the valley, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. The Miyagi-Do courtyard was quiet, the only sounds being the soft rustling of leaves and the occasional chirp of birds. Training had ended for the day, but Lilu lingered, sitting cross-legged on the grass as she took in the peaceful atmosphere.

Liam, on the other hand, was anything but peaceful. He paced back and forth a few feet away, his jaw clenched and his hands fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. Lilu watched him for a moment, her brow furrowed in concern.

“Liam,” she finally said, her voice calm but firm, “what’s going on? You’ve been acting off for days now.”

Liam stopped pacing and looked at her, his expression a mix of frustration and sadness. “Nothing. I’m fine,” he muttered, but his tone betrayed him.

Lilu stood up, brushing off her jeans as she approached him. “Don’t give me that. I know you better than that, Liam. Something’s eating at you, and you need to talk about it.”

He hesitated, his eyes darting around as if looking for an escape route. “I… I can’t,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

Lilu placed a hand on his shoulder, her grip steady. “Yes, you can. Whatever it is, you can tell me. You know I’m not going to judge you.”

Liam’s resolve wavered, and he let out a shaky breath. “It’s not that simple, Lilu. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she said softly, her eyes locking with his.

There was a long pause, the tension in the air thick enough to cut with a knife. Finally, Liam sat down on the edge of the koi pond, his hands buried in his hair. Lilu followed, sitting beside him but giving him enough space to speak at his own pace.

“I… I think I’m gay,” he said, his voice so quiet it was almost lost in the evening breeze. “No, I know I am.”

Lilu blinked, processing his words. Then, without hesitation, she reached out and placed a comforting hand on his back. “Liam, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

He turned to her, his eyes filled with anguish. “You say that, but… you don’t get it. I’ve been keeping this inside for so long, and it’s eating me alive. I can’t tell anyone—not here, not at the dojo, not anyone.”

“Why not?” she asked gently.

“Because,” he said, his voice rising with emotion, “what if they don’t accept me? What if they think I’m weak or… or weird? And Robby…” He trailed off, his face flushing with a mix of shame and fear.

“Robby?” Lilu prompted.

“I… I like him,” Liam admitted, his voice breaking. “But he doesn’t even know I exist in that way. And even if he did, it’s not like he’d feel the same.”

Lilu sighed, her heart aching for her friend. “Liam, I’m not going to pretend to have all the answers, but I do know this: you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here for you, okay? No matter what.”

He looked at her, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You mean that?”

“Of course I do,” she said firmly. “You’re my friend, Liam. And friends stick together, no matter what.”

Liam let out a shaky laugh, a small smile breaking through his troubled expression. “Thanks, Lilu. That… that means a lot.”

They sat in silence for a while, the weight of the conversation settling between them. But it wasn’t a heavy silence—it was one of understanding, of support.

“You know,” Lilu said after a moment, “it might help to talk to someone else about this. Someone who’s been through it.”

“Like who?” Liam asked, skepticism creeping into his voice.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, “but I’m sure there’s someone out there who can help you navigate this. And when you’re ready to tell the others—if you ever want to—I’ll be right there by your side.”

Liam nodded, a sense of relief washing over him. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel completely alone. And while he knew the road ahead wouldn’t be easy, he also knew he had someone in his corner.

“Thanks, Lilu,” he said again, his voice steadier this time.

“Anytime,” she replied, bumping his shoulder lightly with hers. “Now, come on. Let’s head back before Daniel starts wondering where we disappeared to.”

Liam chuckled, standing up and offering her a hand. As they walked back towards the dojo, the weight on his chest felt just a little bit lighter.

---

Later that evening, Liam found himself lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling of his small apartment. The conversation with Lilu replayed in his mind, each word both a comfort and a reminder of the secrets he still carried. Admitting the truth to her had been a relief, but it didn’t make the internal struggle any easier.

He thought about the way he felt around Robby—how his heart seemed to skip a beat whenever Robby flashed that easy smile or how his stomach turned into knots when they trained together. It wasn’t fair, Liam thought. Robby was kind, confident, and everything Liam admired. But Liam knew the feelings would never be returned. Robby didn’t even see him that way—or maybe didn’t see him at all.

His phone buzzed, pulling him from his thoughts. A text from Lilu lit up the screen:

Lilu: Hey. You okay?

Liam sighed, feeling a pang of gratitude. She’d always been like this—checking in, even when he insisted he was fine.

Liam: Yeah, just thinking. Thanks for earlier.

Lilu: Anytime. You’re not alone, you know that, right?

Liam: I know. Thanks.

Lilu’s support was the first step, but Liam knew there was more work to be done. He couldn’t keep burying his feelings, not when it made him lash out during training or retreat into himself around others.

The next day, at the dojo, Liam tried to focus on the drills Johnny was leading. The room was filled with the sounds of kiais and sneakers squeaking against the mat, but Liam’s mind kept drifting. He caught himself sneaking glances at Robby, who was sparring with Miguel across the room.

“Liam!” Johnny’s sharp voice snapped him back to reality.

“Huh? Sorry, Sensei,” Liam muttered, feeling his face flush.

Johnny frowned but didn’t press further. “Focus, Hayes. If your head’s not in the game, you’re just wasting everyone’s time.”

Liam nodded, his jaw tightening. He threw himself into the next set of drills, trying to drown out his thoughts with the rhythm of his punches and kicks. But as the session ended and the students began to disperse, he felt the familiar weight of his inner conflict pressing down on him again.

As Liam grabbed his bag and headed for the door, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Lilu, her expression soft but determined.

“Walk with me,” she said, not waiting for an answer.

They strolled in silence for a few minutes, the warm evening air wrapping around them. Finally, Lilu broke the quiet. “You’ve been quieter than usual. What’s going on?”

Liam hesitated, then shrugged. “Just… a lot on my mind.”

“About Robby?” she guessed, her tone gentle.

Liam’s steps faltered, but he nodded. “Yeah. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. It’s not fair to him, and it’s just… messy.”

“Liam, you can’t control how you feel,” Lilu said. “But bottling it up isn’t going to help. You’ve got to find a way to deal with it—whether that’s talking to someone else or just giving yourself time to figure things out.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s hard, Lilu. I don’t even know where to start.”

“Start with what you can control,” she said. “Focus on your training, your friendships, and take things one step at a time. And remember, you’ve got people who care about you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Liam glanced at her, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Thanks. I mean it.”

“Always,” Lilu replied, nudging him playfully. “Now, let’s grab some food before you overthink yourself into another spiral.”

As they walked toward the nearest diner, Liam felt a flicker of hope. The path ahead was still uncertain, but with Lilu by his side, he knew he had the strength to keep moving forward.

---

The next morning, the school was buzzing with the usual chaos. Students were laughing, gossiping, and trading notes while the teachers tried to keep everyone in check. Liam sat in his usual spot in the back of the classroom, his gaze drifting between his notebook and the students around him. Despite the chatter, his mind was still tangled in the conversation he had with Lilu the night before.

It was hard to focus. His mind kept wandering back to Robby—how he moved with effortless grace, how his laugh made Liam’s heart skip a beat, and how impossible it felt to keep his feelings buried any longer. But he didn’t know what to do with them. It wasn’t just the fear of rejection; it was the overwhelming sense of being trapped in his own emotions, not knowing where to go from here.

"Liam, you gonna answer that question, or just keep staring off into space?" Kyler’s voice broke through his thoughts, dripping with mockery.

Liam looked up to see Kyler grinning at him, his usual arrogant expression plastered on his face. Kyler had been a thorn in his side since he first arrived at the school. But this time, Liam wasn’t in the mood to play his usual games.

He shot back, “Maybe if you spent less time making fun of people and more time paying attention, you’d actually know the answer.”

The class fell silent for a moment, the tension palpable. Kyler's grin faltered for a second, but he quickly recovered, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms. "Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was talking to the new school genius."

Liam’s temper flared, but he forced himself to calm down. He couldn’t afford to lose control again, not in front of the entire class. The last thing he needed was to give Kyler the satisfaction of seeing him snap.

Before he could say anything else, the bell rang, signaling the end of the class. Students gathered their things and began filing out, but Liam stayed behind for a moment, staring at his desk.

As he gathered his bag, he noticed Robby walking toward the door, his eyes catching Liam’s. For a second, their gazes met, and something in Liam’s chest tightened. Robby smiled, and Liam quickly turned his head, feeling his face flush.

“Hey, man,” Robby called, stopping in front of him. “You good?”

Liam nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure? You’ve been kind of off lately,” Robby said, a touch of concern in his voice.

Liam hesitated, unsure whether he should open up or just brush it off. But the way Robby looked at him, that genuine care in his eyes, made him want to say something—anything—to stop this internal storm.

“I’m just…” Liam paused, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Just some stuff going on, I guess.”

Robby frowned. “Well, if you ever need to talk, I’m here, man. You’re not alone in this.”

For a moment, Liam could feel the weight of his feelings pressing down harder than before, but at the same time, Robby’s kindness kept him grounded. His heart pounded in his chest, the conflict between his hidden feelings and his need for support becoming unbearable.

“Thanks, Robby,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

“No problem, dude.” Robby gave him a small smile before walking out of the room.

As Liam packed up his bag and exited the classroom, he saw Lilu waiting for him outside. She leaned against the lockers, her eyes scanning the hallway as she spotted him approaching.

“You okay?” she asked quietly, her tone laced with concern.

Liam forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just… dealing with things.”

Lilu studied him for a moment, before nudging him with her elbow. “If you need to talk, I’m here. I know you don’t like to open up, but you don’t have to keep all this stuff inside.”

Liam looked at her, feeling the weight of everything he hadn’t said. He couldn’t keep pretending that everything was fine, not when his emotions were so close to the surface. But even with Lilu’s support, he didn’t know where to start.

Before he could respond, Kyler appeared in the hallway, flanked by his usual group of friends. He shot Liam a smug smile, as if daring him to say something.

“So, Liam,” Kyler sneered, “how’s it feel knowing you’re just a pawn in Robby’s little game?”

Liam’s blood boiled, but he didn’t let it show. “Shut up, Kyler.”

“Aw, what? Are you mad?” Kyler mocked, stepping closer, his friends chuckling behind him.

Lilu stepped forward, standing between Liam and Kyler, her expression hardening. “Knock it off, Kyler. You’re not welcome here.”

Kyler scoffed. “Whatever. But just so you know, nobody here cares about your little pity party, Liam. Keep dreaming.”

Liam clenched his fists, but before he could respond, Lilu turned to him. “Let’s just go.”

Liam nodded, the anger inside of him slowly starting to simmer down. He didn’t need to get into it with Kyler again. Not now, not when he had so many other things to figure out.

As they walked down the hallway, Liam’s thoughts returned to Robby. His heart ached, but a small part of him felt lighter. Maybe talking about it was the first step. Maybe opening up wasn’t as scary as he thought.

“Let’s get out of here,” Lilu said, giving him a gentle nudge. “I think we both need a break.”

Liam smiled, grateful for her support. “Yeah, you’re right.”

And as they walked out of the school together, the weight of his feelings didn’t seem quite so heavy. For the first time in a long while, Liam felt like maybe, just maybe, things would start to get better.