He didn't sleep when he got back to the suite, his mind felt so fuzzy as he paced back and forth. He let out a shaky breath as he thought of how to win the games. He wouldn't work with someone, by the end they'd likely kill him the second he let his guard down.

It wasn't smart to even travel with multiple people, he needed to focus on keeping Johanna safe. The only thing he cared about was making sure she won, even if he had to kill himself along the way just for her sake. He turned when the door opened, Johanna walked inside as she held onto an envelope.

It was clear she had woken up, due to the distress of her hair and the way her skin looks oily and dry. She rubbed at her eyes as she yawned "you should be sleeping Raven, we need energy for tomorrow".

He smiled "it's a little late for mail isn't it? What's with the envelope?" she handed it to him "look for yourself, looks like we might finally have a chance to beat snow once and for all".

He pulled open the envelope and frowned "why did Haymitch from twelve give us this? He's not even in the games for twelve". He looked at the words with confusion then he looked at Johanna.

"You can't be serious... They want us to keep Katniss alive in the arena? All so she can maybe start a rebellion against the capitol. What if it doesn't even work? Snow could easily kill us all".

Johanna sighed "it's not about if it works or not, we can at least say we tried. Don't you want to do this? To finally put a stop to all this capitol bullshit? To watch everything Snow made fall apart?".

Raven sat down at the end of his bed as he looked at the letter "I don't know, part of me wants to do this but what if it backfires? We will be dead". Johanna sat down beside him "would you rather die inside of that arena or die fighting for a chance of a normal life? We could finally be free from Snow. All we have to do is make sure Katniss survives, and when the time is right, we'll be safe and no more hunger games".

He nodded as he ripped the letter "okay, I'll do it but it's not gonna be easier to keep Katniss alive when we don't even know what the games are. What if we can't find her or worse, she kills us".

Johanna grabbed onto Raven's hand "I won't let anything happen to you inside that arena, we'll do this together and make sure everything goes to plan".

He smiled "I guess it's more comforting when you say it that way, but I can't promise I'll be even good in the arena, I could black out again, ruin things for everyone, so just promise me. If anything happens, you'll leave without me, protect yourself and if I manage to survive, I'll find you. I promise".

—

Raven was alone, he didn't have anyone to give him comfort or reassurance as he stepped into the tube. He had never held onto Johanna so tightly before, when they were forced to part ways he wanted to cry.

He kept himself relaxed for the most part but he was terrified of what awaited him when he reached the top of that arena. People would be watching and they would enjoy the second he is killed.

He didn't care about weapons or anything else, he would find Johanna that was his first priority. He let out one more heavy breath as he pushed his hair away from his face. He let himself stay alert the second the tube rose upwards into the arena.

"Let the seventy fifth hunger games begin, may the odds be ever in your favor" he didn't flinch when the speakers went off. He looked around trying to find Johanna, instead all he saw was water and people he didn't care about. She would be smart and run for the jungle, he could tell this place wouldn't be easy to navigate so he hoped by some miracle, he found her before she's hurt or attacked.

As the countdown went downwards and closer to one he felt his body grow tense. His hands shook with nerves as he bit into his lip harshly, and when the timer hit zero he didn't hesitate to jump into the water.

His entire body shivered as he swam forward as quickly as possible, he groaned as he pulled himself upwards. He coughed as he tried to focus on his surroundings, he smirked to himself when he caught sight of the ax a few feet away from him.

He ran forward fast and then he screamed when the knife stabbed through his hand. He didn't know the man's name but he recognized him from ten.

It was like his body had started to shut down, he could feel the blood on his flesh and he could hear cannons and screaming. Then his mind clicked awake and he grabbed the handle of the ax with his free hand.

He ignored the pain on his palm as the man tore the knife out of it and tried to stab his throat. He let out an angry breath as he swung his ax into the man's throat.

He felt the blood hit his face as he ripped it off of the man's flesh and swung it again. The cannon was loud and it made him flinch as he pressed his hand against his chest. He let out a heavy breath as he looked at the man's body below him, he would've thought he'd feel guilty, instead he just felt pissed off.

He kicked the man's body into the water before he ran towards the jungle. He winced as he tried to ignore the pain on his hand. He could hear the cannons going off like crazy as he trailed along the jungle.

"Johanna?" he whispered, afraid that someone else would hear and try to kill him. He kept walking as he wiped the blood off his face with his sleeve, he was already annoyed by the warmth of the air.

Sweat coated his body almost immediately as he turned down a narrow pathway in search of Johanna. He grew tense when he heard grunting and screams of protest, he normally would've walked away, stayed hidden until he heard cannons go off.

But he was paranoid it was Johanna, what if she was already being killed by someone? He ran so fast he nearly slipped on the wet floor as he turned the corner. The cannon went off and he couldn't breath as he ran towards the two people he could see.

A body rested on the ground, it couldn't have been Johanna. He didn't wanna see her like that, he just couldn't, he ignored his worries as he slammed his ax into the back of the man's skull.

The blood mended into his fingers and hair as he cringed at the way the man's bones shifted underneath the blade. The cannon screamed at him as he let the man's body fall towards the ground.

He let out a breath of relief when he saw the body on the ground wasn't Johanna. Just some woman from district eight, who was bleeding from her throat.

He let out a huff as he tugged the ax out of the man's head being careful not to be loud as he kept going forward. He knew one thing about these games, always stay moving and definitely don't stop moving unless you know for sure it's safe.

This time was different, it wasn't innocent kids chasing him around, it was adults who had experienced this before just like him. They would kill him so fast he wouldn't even have time to think.

He managed to rip the cloth off of the man's sleeve, he wrapped it around his hand and groaned as he tied it tightly being sure it wouldn't until he used his teeth to give it one final tug before he turned towards a small tree. He leaned against it as he let out a soft breath, finding Johanna wasn't going to be easy.

He kept walking, his body already on the verge of collapsing as he searched for water. Every single place he walked all he could see were trees, never ending rows of trees and thick vines that hurt when he hit them with his ax.

He turned around at the sound of footsteps behind him, he would've said Johanna's name but instead he kept quiet. "raven" he grew tense at the soft whispers of his name, it grew intense with volume as he moved back slowly with freight.

He let out shaky breaths as he heard soft whistles and the distant voice of the people he killed inside of that arena, they were mocking him. He screamed when a loud growl entered the atmosphere and it turned into six more as he began to flee the scene.

He let out heavy pants of breaths as he ran, he didn't look behind him once but he could hear the growls getting closer. He could feel the breaths these creatures took almost as if it was a simple breeze.

He groaned when he tripped over a tree branch, his entire body collapsing down a small hill and colliding straight into a tree. His vision was blurry right away, the exhaustion hitting him almost immediately.

He pushed himself back slightly as he heard the soft whispers of his name. It sounded so corrupted and terrifying making him feel uneasy as he wiped the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve.

He groaned as he forced himself upwards, the sun was slowly going down and he was lost in the middle of a jungle. With creatures lurking all around him, they could kill him the second he closes his eyes.

He kept walking ignoring the pain in his hand and head as he tried to find any source of water. He turned around quickly at the sound of a soft beeping.

His gaze found the parachute as it slowly made its way towards him. He chuckled to himself as he walked towards it and pulled the container open.

for your hand, stay alive- Blight

He pulled the ointment out and let out a shaky breath as he untied the cloth around his hand, he winced when he wiped the ointment all over the wound. It burned like crazy making him clench his teeth as he leaned into the tree for support.

At the sound of the cannon going off again he flinched, pressing his hand against his chest he looked upwards at the sky. Watching as the loud music began to play and he saw each fallen tribute.

He couldn't help but smile when he didn't see Johanna, at least she was still alive. He kept walking stopping at a ledge of a cliff, he looked down seeing it wouldn't be a pleasant fall and then stepped back.

He gasped when he was pushed, his body flying forward and colliding violently downward with the cliff. He winced at the pain of it as he kept tumbling downward, he could feel the rocks jabbing into his hands as he tried to stop himself.

He grabbed a hold of a tree branch groaning as he swung to a stop and hit the ground roughly. He let out heavy breaths as he looked upwards, Enobaria was smirking down at him, her sharp teeth flashing proudly as she hissed down at him.

He grew tense when he watched Enobaria start to slowly make her way down towards him. He wasn't surprised she wanted him dead so badly, he was alone and that meant she had the opportunity.

He let out a sharp exhale as he let the tree branch go and slid down towards a pile of vines. He ignored the sting of the stems poking his arms as he stood up.

He could hear her behind him, he limped forward latching tightly onto his ax as he tried to get away from her. He was exhausted, he could feel his body start to shut down as he turned past a few trees.

"You think you can run away from me!" her voice sounded so loud and it bounced off the trees making it hard to pinpoint where she was.

He yelled when he was tackled towards the ground, a hand covered his mouth almost immediately. "Shh, she won't find us in here" he relaxed into the touch.

Johanna let out a heavy breath as she lowered her hand to her side and looked around. "I think she ran off, but she'll come back and try finding you, we need to get out of here before that happens".

Raven pushed himself upwards as he gripped Johanna's face with desperation "you're not hurt are you?". He let out a breath as he looked at her with worry. His gaze slowly took in every single detail on her face as he made sure she was still her.

He had hoped this wasn't inside of his head, that this moment was real and Johanna was actually in front of him. He moved his thumb under her cheek feeling the cut beneath it, she winced slightly "it's just a scratch".

He should've kept his guard up, paid attention to every single detail of the jungle around them. He had forgotten how distracting Johanna was, how the feeling isn't he felt for her, made his head lose focus.

He noticed the woman from a district eleven moments after she ran for Johanna. The knife in her hand was held high, and she looked feral as she lowered it.

Raven had never known love before, yet he imagined if it was real, they'd die for each other in a heartbeat. He let the knife slice through his shoulder as he tackled the woman towards the ground.

His body burned as he used his free hand to push Johanna away, she stumbled slightly but he knew he didn't hurt her. The woman beneath him let out a loud shout as she pulled the knife out of his shoulder.

He gritted his teeth in pain as he grabbed her arm with as much strength as he could muster. It wasn't much due to the dehydration and pain that ran along his veins. She overpowered him so quickly it made his eyes widen as he felt the knife stab his shoulder again.

He felt the fire spread along his arm as he wrapped his hands around her throat. He let out shaky breaths as he pressed his fingers so deep into her flesh, he could feel the veins beneath pop.

He pulled the knife out of his shoulder when he felt her hand loosen around it. He watched the light leave her eyes slowly as his hold tightened in rage.

He could hear the laughter, feel the warmth of blood coating his skin as he tried to escape the darkness inside of his own head. He flinched when the cannon went off, his body shaking as he moved away from the woman, she was dead.

So many people died, and it was all because of him, had he truly gone back to his haunted past? To his demons he had locked away so deep within himself. He didn't even recognize himself as he felt the soft touch of Johanna, he felt his body mend itself back together as she pressed her hand against his shoulder.

He ignored the sting of it "We need to clean this wound or else you'll die from infection". Raven let out a heavy breath as he shook his head "no time, we need to get out of this place, there's something out here. Something that's not human".

Johanna went completely still, as she looked at Raven with a blank expression. Her eyes twitched slightly as they began to droop downwards, her hand that held onto his shoulder shook like crazy.

His eyes widened in horror as he watched her entire body start to melt away into a pile of blood and wax. Whatever this thing was, it wasn't Johanna, it's jaw ripped itself open, rows of teeth pushed themselves outwards as Raven gasped loudly.

He screamed as this beast's claws sunk into his shoulder, its eyes looked just like Johanna's. They held no emotion, only hunger. Its face leaned towards Raven as its claws sunk more into his shoulder.

It tilted its head as its lips clashed together into a familiar tune. Raven covered his ears as he tried to shut out the noise of the screams and laughter.

The beast pushed Raven against the tree by his throat making him gasp for air. He clawed at the arms with desperation as the voices got louder.

"Raven, it's time to go home" he pinched his eyes shut as the beast mimicked Johanna's voice. "Raven, I love you so much, stop fighting. Let's die together".

Raven screamed out angrily as he slammed his ax into the beast's side. It growled loudly as it let Raven go, the man fell towards the ground. He coughed violently as he rubbed the sore flesh.

The beast growled once more as it pushed itself upwards, limbs ripped out of the wound Raven made. He gagged as he watched piles of blood and wax coat the ground and turn into all sorts of limbs.

They crawled towards him, making him quickly pick the ax off the ground. He let out a wheezy breath as he looked at the beast with disgust and confusion.

He raised the ax slowly "Raven, please" he ignored the voice of Johanna as he held back his tears. This wasn't Johanna, whatever this thing was, it wasn't his Johanna, it was a monster.

Snow was punishing him, and for once Raven deserved it. "You're not real, you're not real!" Raven smacked the ax into the beast's head.

He gasped when multiple arms ripped out of the beast's head, they latched around the ax with such strength it snapped in half.

"Raven, that's not very nice. Don't you love me?" It laughed at him as he watched it rip the ax out of its head. It didn't even flinch when Raven threw a pile of dirt at its face.

Raven screamed as his body was lifted upward "you told me you'd never hurt me Raven, are you really going to kill me? It's me Raven, it's Johanna".

He let out heavy breaths as he watched the beast form back into Johanna. He knew it wasn't her due to the cracks that formed all over its face.

It smiled at him and he watched as piles of teeth fell out of its mouth, it was clearly hurt. Raven looked at it with fear "you're nothing without me Raven, just let me help you feel better. I promise you'll finally be happy, you'll be normal again".

Raven wasn't sure how he had the strength to kill the beast, but he kicked with all his might and watched as its face shattered into a pile of rubble and wax.

It twitches like crazy as it dropped him, he groaned as he held onto himself. He looked down at the beast as he watched it twitch a few more times before it stopped. It's body formed back into the beast slowly as Raven limped away in fear.

He couldn't catch his breath as he kept moving forward, he ignored every single sound he could hear. He was lucky enough to get out of there before he was killed by that beast. He was far more paranoid now, he couldn't trust anyone, what if it was the beast?

He kept limping forward and felt drops of water hit down on him harshly. He smiled in relief, it was raining, which meant he finally had water.

The smile left his lips when he saw the blood coat his skin, it burned as he gasped in horror. It rained down on him so harshly he lost his sight of vision.

He gagged as it coated his throat, he fell towards the ground as he clung onto himself harshly. All he saw was red as he crawled forward, he didn't care if he ran into trees, he needed to get out of this place.

His body felt weaker as his vision began to blur, he could hear soft whispers "tick tock... tick tock...". Air entered his lungs so fast as he was dragged, he felt the panic slip into his bones so fast, the beast was back.

—
authors notes:
... a lots happened... my dog passed away.... safe to say I'm depressed asf but I'm doing my best to get back to old routines. I'm distracting myself by multitasking a lot, safe to say I'm not good when it comes to grieving... like at all. I made this chapter pretty long, since I was away for a few days. Sorry about that btw, it's been a rough last three days and I was sick as well which made it worst. But I'm back! And I can't wait to continue writing for this story, I'm also changing the plot a tad, just a little bit for this act, I'm tired of seeing fics of Oc's who are with Katniss the whole time... boring!!!!! Hence why I made raven be alone for the games so far. Anyways I'm okay, I promise just a little sad, but I'm getting better. Hopefully this long chapter makes up for my absence. I'm also working on a Katniss fic!!!!!