𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 . . . txt's :: sakura

ONE?!

beomgyu was a sympathetic person. he was attentive and cared for others even when not necessary, it was a side of himself he rarely showed publicly as the mood-maker or the group. deep down, he was yet another old soul.

this constant care was like a weight on his shoulders. even when he thought he couldn't deal with his own thoughts anymore, he couldn't stop the 'tell me what's wrong, i'm here for you' from leaving his lips.

sometimes he needed a break, and he should've known that was okay. that it was okay to say that he wasn't in the right mental state at the moment. but he didn't. god, he wished he did, but he never did.

beomgyu had this urge to help others, even when he needed help himself. he was grown up on the rule of 'put others before yourself' and he took that literally. he would always be second when taking care of people's health. other people needed help more than he did.

he began feeling tired. when he wasn't worrying about himself, he was worrying about others. there were days that would go by in which he just wished all that was on his mind was what he would be having for dinner, not 'how can i help yunhee from breaking down again?'

he was lost. if he gave up on everyone suddenly, wouldn't that hurt them much more? but then again, he just couldn't anymore. he needed to be alone with his problems and only his problems for a week. no one else's.

he went to sakura's room for help. though she wasn't the best at giving advice, she was quite good at comforting him. the second she opened her bedroom door for him, she could tell something was off. he began speaking right after she asked him "what's wrong?"

she took a deep breath in and spoke right after he finished. "beomgyu, you- your heart is rare. i want you to know that you give people motivation to keep going and that you make people feel appreciated and loved. but i also want you to know that you are not invincible. you need a break sometimes, and that's okay. you don't need to be there for everybody all the time, you deserve to take all the energy you invest in others and invest it in yourself every once in awhile. beomgyu, you don't always have to be the 'therapist friend' or 'fixer.' let yourself ask for help. let yourself be human."

TWO?!

sakura nervously looked at beomgyu, trying to remember why she agreed to sneak out with him. sneaking out was one thing, but going swimming in the company building's swimming pool was another. if they got caught, they would be in deep shit.

beomgyu ignored her attempts at reasoning, dragging her along. he had somehow gotten into the building without alerting the nighttime guards. she honestly felt like she was in a spy movie, the way the boy was making her duck and dodge around everything.

they had finally made it to the swimming pool, but not without a close encounter with a security guard. sakura slightly tripped on her own feet, and beomgyu laughed at her as quietly as he could. not quiet enough, though, as a guard immediately shouted, "who's there?" they then decided to just book it up the stairs.

she was genuinely surprised when the doors to the pool just opened, not needing a key card or something of the sort. she slowly trailed behind the boy, still terrified of being caught. he confidently took a towel from the rack, set it on a chair, and jumped in, even with his pajamas on.

she didn't want to go in and laid back on the chair next to his. at first he didn't mind, but he was starting to get really bored. he tried to convince her, but she wouldn't budge. until he started to do some bad form of aegyo, claiming he wouldn't stop unless she got in. to that, she jumped in instantly.

she mindlessly swam around for a while, her fear still not wavering even in the slightest bit. she looked for the boy, and made eye contact with him. he smiled, and she could tell he was about to do something she wouldn't enjoy. she was right.

after being met with a large splash of water to the face, she didn't hesitate to reciprocate the action. she gathered much more water than beomgyu did, and tried her best to splash it onto him. they both knew exactly what this meant: water fight.

they messed around for a while, and by the end they were soaked. sakura no longer cared about getting caught. the duo had been super loud just then, and they didn't hear a single thing from a security guard. but that anxious feeling quickly returned as she heard the loud jangling of keys.

THREE?!

beomgyu watched with an amused smile as sakura emerged from the storage room with a large bottle of liquid soap. sakura had approached him earlier bored out of her mind. he agreed to hang out with her, as it seemed she was getting quite desperate.

the group of six were originally at this rental house to film content, but stayed there for a few more days after they were finished. sakura enjoyed the break, of course, but she wanted to actually do something instead of lazing around all day.

hence why she forced beomgyu to hang out with her, and was no dragging him outside. she stopped in front of the trampoline, slowly unzipping the entrance and making her way in. beomgyu stayed outside, a little confused on what she was planning on doing.

"are you ready for this?" she asked with an excited smile, already anticipating what she was about to do. he nodded, happy she was happy. his smile was quickly wiped off his face as he watched the japanese dump some of the soap onto the trampoline. he was shocked.

sakura watched as the soap spread throughout the trampoline, but it wasn't enough. she added more until she could see the suds even while standing. she threw the soap out of the entrance, and zipped it up. she doubted beomgyu would want to join her.

he absolutely did. she was doing something very dangerous and he was already longing to join her since she first got in. she planned on jumping first, but decided to do a belly flop. instead, she just slid to the other side of the trampoline, the net catching her.

beomgyu laughed at her and she joined in almost instantly. he then did the same thing, bumping into her. this only caused more laughter to erupt between the duo. after a minute or-so of laying around she decided to jump around. her feet slip and she landed right back on her butt. she laughed.

the two jumped and slid around on the trampoline until it got dark out. they hasn't even realized they had been on the trampoline for longer than thirty minutes. who knew time could pass so quickly when you're doing something so stupid?

FOUR?!

sakura was not okay. no matter how many times she lied to her members and even herself that she was okay, she was the opposite. she was breaking down and everyday made her want to give up just a little bit more. she felt empty.

it wasn't like her to show emotion, but she has given up on concealing her emptiness too. it was obvious to everyone, for once, that she needed help. but she just didn't know how to get it.

it was unfamiliar and uncomfortable for her to tell someone she was struggling. she grew up that way. if you were upset, keep it to yourself. no need to ruin other people's day with your emotions. that's why she rarely ever confessed her problems to even her members.

she hoped eventually she would learn to accept that it was okay to ask for help. hell, she had told people that exact sentence millions of times, yet she refused to herself. how hypocritical of her, but she just couldn't help it.

after a long day of recording, she felt absolutely drained. like life had torn all her joyful feelings out and replaced them with dreadful ones. she got home and looked at herself in the mirror. she whispered to herself, "it's okay to ask for help."

she hadn't realized anyone had heard her, let alone be in her room until beomgyu replied, "yes, it is." she stepped back in shock for a moment as his presence was originally unknown to her. her heart urged her to tell him what was wrong, but her head told her not to.

he was about to leave her room, but she took in a sharp breath. that stopped him in his tracks. she stared at the floor, unable to meet his worried eyes. "can i, i don't know, uh, vent to you? or something like that? i-i just need comfort." she awkwardly explained. he didn't think he'd ever been so happy someone was upset. he was so proud of her that he asked.

she finished explaining, and he held her hand. "it doesn't make sense for me to tell you that everything will turn out fine, because i know you won't believe me. i'll tell you something else, instead. you can make it through the rest of today. you can take a breath and a step, and you can make it through today. and-and you should lay in bed today, proud that you have pushed yourself through another day and are able to mentally prepare yourself to do it once more tomorrow. if you try to do this everyday, it won't feel so bad. i can promise you that, sakura. eventually, you won't wake up in the morning dreading the day to come. someday, your heart will feel again. you won't feel so empty- you'll feel whole."

LANA HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!

sorry this is so shitty i lowkey forced myself to write cause i felt bad for not updating in a while also expect slower updates since school is staring back up [cry]