𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗱𝘂𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 . . . txt's :: sakura

TW!! panic attack (?)

WORD COUNT: 1.1k
THIRD PERSON
ANGST/COMFORT
FEBRUARY 10, 2023

sakura felt her muscles relax, finally laying down in the comfort of her bed after a long day of performing and practicing. she sighed, the aching in her muscles less present the longer she laid.

knowing she wouldn't be able to get some beauty rest for a little, she pulled out her phone to kill time. humming, she let her hands just click around on the screen, accidentally opening twitter.

her mouth went dry, and her heart suddenly started hammering in her chest. this could not be happening right now. she opened and closed her mouth multiple times, staring at the now viral thread. and of course, her name had to be trending as well.

she clicked on the thread, now actually reading it.

"oh my god," she mumbled, and it felt like her world was falling apart around her. she couldn't focus on anything but the words 'sakura was adopted.' how could she left this get out?

the name rang a bell, but she couldn't place her finger on it. "akari, akari, akari," she mumbled, unable to get it out of her head. it suddenly came to her, akari hatanaka.

who else would it be other than akari hatanaka? the girl who just wouldn't leave her alone in her time spent at the center? even when the girl thought about it in the present time, sakura never understood what she did to make akari genuinely despise her.

she stopped thinking about akari, when she got a text message from her manager. she read it from the notification box, choosing not to click on it. it was something about a meeting to discuss future actions. couldn't she just pretend it never happened?

her whole childhood, her biggest secret in life, had been revealed. the one thing she would kill for nobody to know, got leaked. why? why did it have to be her?

her thoughts began to spiral out of control, the walls started to close in on her, her eyes got blurry. she had no power over anything, her breathing got more ragged within seconds.

she didn't know when the tears started spilling, she only realized she was crying when hot tears fell onto her already shaking hands. she was powerless.

she heard someone mumble her name, and she convinced herself that she had officially gone crazy. she looked around the room, and saw nothing but a figure of a familiar man.

she saw his mouth move, but she didn't hear anything. the ringing in her ears overpowered everything else. her mouth felt like sand, and she tried coughing to get rid of the feeling. no matter what she did, she couldn't change it.

she heard the familiar man in front of her repeatedly mumble the same thing. she finally made it out, "can i touch you, kkura?" she still couldn't tell who he was, black and yellow spots dancing in her eyes.

"no," she croaked out, already feeling so enclosed. she realized she stopped crying after a while. her breathing was still labored and her bedroom now felt thirty times smaller.

she also didn't notice how the man had left, until she watched as he came back through the door, holding an ice cold cup of water. she reached for it, chugging it all down.

she still couldn't tell who this guy was, but he brought a sense of comfort to her. she stopped seeing spots, but her arms were still shaky and so was her breath.

"you're okay, you're okay," he repeated. she nodded, trying to breath in counts of four. she finally recognized who was helping her, it was beomgyu.

though it took a while to calm down, she did with the boy's assistance. "do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked after letting her rest for a little bit.

"everyone knows, gyu. everyone knows," sakura whispered, a familiar pit of panic forming in her stomach. "knows what?" he worriedly responded, his eyebrows furrowing.

"that i'm a-adopted," she stuttered, speaking about it just made it so much more real. he didn't know what to say. he knew how much she protected her privacy, especially her past. "kkura, i-i don't know what to say, i-" he tried comforting, but she cut himself off.

"it's fine. it's just, everyone hates me now for lying. what do i do? i want to deny it, but i also want to be honest. but maybe i just don't comment on it? but then it'd bring everyone else down. god, i'm so scared, gyu," the girl sighed, "there's no good option in this situation."

"no one hates you, kkura. i'm sure," he attempted. "oh yeah?" she challenged, and she shoved her phone in his face, twitter already opened.

he felt a sharp pain in his heart, purely upset for her. how could they say this to her? not a single nice comment? she didn't deserve this.

"they aren't real moas. real moas love you, and understand why you would hide something like this from them. us too, if you don't want to comment, then that's fine. it's not bringing us down if it makes you comfortable, kkura. we will always love you no matter what. real moas will stick around no matter how or if you respond to this. do what makes you feel the best, okay?"

she nodded, biting her lip. "can i hug you?" he asked, and she nodded. she buried her head in his chest, holding herself back from crying once more. he kissed the top of her head, noticing how she was struggling to keep it all in. "you can cry, kkura," he whispered.

that one sentence made the waterworks start. her whole body shook, and she repeatedly hiccuped and gasped for air. she didn't know what triggered such an intense crying session, but she let it be. at least she was getting it out.

beomgyu, however, had never seen the girl like this. she always tried her best to pretend like she was always okay, like she had never cried even once in her life. it was a shock to him, but he was glad she finally felt comfortable to let out his emotions, especially with him.

"i'm sorry, gyu. i'm so sorry. i fucked up everything," she mumbled. "you didn't fuck up anything, kkura. i already told you, no matter what you do, the group will stay the same. we'll still have moa, you'll still have us, and we'll still have you."

she pulled away from his embrace, and looked into his soft eyes. "i love you, and i always will. no matter what."

LANA HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!

그냥 불러 봐
Ay-yo 우리처럼 놀아
여기가 Valhalla 싫은 사람
Lay low 즐기는 놈인데
누가 내게 맞서 와
Ay-yo 나는 끝내 걸어가
그 발자국 뒤에 재조차 남지 않게
Ballin' big time and I say Ay-yo!