The next day, we drove to court to support John B on his trial. Sarah wouldn't stop crying about the whole thing, but the rest of us were solemn, and quiet.

Kiara told me she and Pope were over, and when I asked why, she just said that they'd agreed to be "just friends". When I asked why "just friends", she explained when they had sex, it wasn't very good, and agreed that their relationship was better or firmly platonic.

"But I don't understand," I said to her when we stood to the side of the funeral, having a private conversation. "Was sex with Pope that bad that you're breaking up?"

"First of all, we were never a thing. Second of all, of course not! The sex isn't the only reason why we agreed to be, you know, only platonic." Kiara said.

"Well ... how come then?"

"Okay. You know sex—"

"Duh." I knew the logistics.

"But you've never had it, right?"

"Yeah," I said. I was still a virgin.

"Sex is like, it's not like the movies or books."

"I know that," I said, starting to get annoyed. I wasn't some idiot.

"No, you don't really get what I'm saying. I'm saying, it's more than physically being together, it's like, you have to communicate."

"Like asking if this is okay and stuff?" I asked curiously. I'd seen the Tea Video at school, and everything about consent.

"You have to trust the person. Especially if it's for the first time, it's about exploring, being careful, open, you gotta speak up if something's uncomfortable." Kiara said wisely.

"So did you lose your virginity to Pope?"

"Actually," she laughed, "I lost my virginity at the start of the summer to a Touron. It was pretty awful."

"Did you ... you know," I looked around. "Um, come?"

"God no," she scoffed. "No comes when they first have sex. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and I never spoke to him again."

"So how does this relate to Pope exactly?"

"Well, he's you know ... well he was a virgin." Kiara explained.

"You took his virginity?!" I gasped.

"Not so loud!" Kiara hushed. "But yeah. That's why I was talking about communication, talking to each other. I pretty much took lead, which is fine," she assured me. "But he was awkward about it. He was Pope. Um, it's like, I thought since we knew each other for a long time, and that we were friends, it'd be okay. Like not having these amazing sky-rocketing orgasms or anything, but more like, we could laugh if we messed up, talk about it later."

"Did you?"

"No. That's the point. After like, a couple minutes of it, I just got off him and we didn't even talk. He didn't even like, say anything during it! I was doing all the work, which I get it, for the first time it's scary, but he didn't say a thing. Wouldn't tell me if what I was doing was feeling good or anything." Kiara said.

"So ... basically he was being Pope the whole time."

"Yeah. That's why when I suggested we were better as friends, he was okay. I think he sort of understands that too." Kiara said hopefully. "That's why I really like Pope. He gets things, you know?"

"I guess ..." I trailed off.

Actually, when I looked at poor Pope, he looked like someone had killed his puppy or something. Everyone, and I mean everyone, knew that he'd always been head over heels for Kiara. I guess when she said that they'd bothagreed on this "just friends" business, Kiara had been the one who suggested the idea.

But whatever, it wasn't my business. Besides, I had bigger things to focus on.

Like the fact that John B was in fucking jail.

↬——✾——↫

We went to his trial, but they didn't do anything. John B had a public defender who was shit, did absolutely nothing, and the judge ruled that John B would be sentenced to a life long sentence.

We couldn't do anything, even though Sarah was screaming the whole time and we had to drag her away from John B.

We drove back to John B's place, and it'd started to rain, an ugly downpour which did not help with my mood. We sat on the porch, having an official Pogue meeting.

"Okay, fam, what's the plan," JJ stood up and started pacing around.

"Did you just say 'fam'?" I raised a brow at him.

"We've got to free John B," he ignored me.

"What, so you're just going to go to Shoupe, guns a blazin' and shoot everyone till John B's let out?" Kiara demanded.

"I mean, that's our only plan yet!" JJ protested.

"And it's just brilliant," Pope muttered.

"You got any ideas, genius?" JJ rounded on him.

"I've got one," I stood up. "Sit the fuck down, JJ. We're not going to break John B out of jail, that's ridiculous."

"Whatever," he put his hands in his pockets, looking away from me. Normal JJ would've spat an insult right back, but I guess he "wasn't feeling it" or whatever.

"I'll go talk to them. I'll talk to my father, they have to listen." I said bravely.

"I'll ask my parents to get a good lawyer for John B," Kiara added.

"Yeah, well, good luck with that," JJ muttered.

"JJ, come on," Pope pinched his nose.

"I'm going to go break John B out, and you'll see that my plan will actually work. Unlike some people," he spat at me.

"Seriously?!" I stood up, as he stormed out of the house.

"He'll be fine," Pope said, in a worried voice.

"When has JJ's ideas ever been fine?" Sarah sighed.

↬——✾——↫

Before I'd left the house and our Pogue meeting, to go talk to the police, Kiara had pulled me aside to talk to me. (Sarah was feeling pretty down about the whole John B situation, and was "sleeping" on the couch. JJ and Pope had already left to god knew where)

"Be careful," she warned. She also had pretty strict parents, like helicopter-parent-strict.

"I will," I reassured her.

She gave me a hug, which I was surprised at first, but then I hugged her back. I was starting to really like Kiara, and I was glad that we were starting to become close.

"Kie?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"You should talk to Pope. About how you feel."

She started to get defensive, "I did!"

"No, I mean, really talk to him. 'Cause even though he agreed with you ... well, he'll do anything for you. I think you sort of hurt his feelings a little bit."

"Mercedes, thanks, but I'm fine. Pope and I sorted everything out, and I appreciate you trying to help, but just ... don't butt in. We're fine," Kiara promised.

"I'm just trying to give advice—"

"And I'm glad." She smiled, and gave my arm a squeeze. "But don't worry, Pope and I are fine. And I know you think you're helping, but we sorted everything out."

"Kiara," I pinched my nose. "You're not really listening to me."

"And you're not really listening to me," she pointed out.

I sighed, letting it go. "Whatever."

"Good luck! And be careful!" She called after me.

"I will."

↬——✾——↫

I was nervous, going back to Kildare Deputy's Department. Going back to my father and to the cops meant I had surrendered, that this was my last resort. And it was, this was my last option. My father was my last option. John B was pretty much sentenced to life in jail, for a crime he didn't commit. And I was desperate enough—we all were desperate enough—to go to him, to apologize, to beg for his forgiveness and help.

I would do whatever it took to get John B out of jail.

I guess that's what it meant to be a Pogue. Being there for each other, being loyal. Committed. Even at our lowest moments, we could rely on each other.

I wasn't sure if that qualified for JJ and I. I was mad at him on the outside, but also I missed him. I was angry at him because he wouldn't be himself around me, and I missed the old JJ. Straight from the 'go JJ. I hated the new JJ, the bad mood JJ.

I arrived at the building, and contemplated ditching and going back home. But I couldn't, John B was relying on me. I took a deep breath, opened the front door, and stepped inside.

Immediately, the receptionist, Peggy, took a second take at me. I had grown up here of course, toddling around the moment I could walk, so nearly all the staff and workers knew me.

"Mercedes—dear god, sweetie, is that you?" She took off her glasses and stood up behind the desk.

"Is my father here?" I said cautiously.

"He's—he's at the back, I'll just go get a Deputy," she ran down the hall while I waited.

I must've looked a lot different then when my father had last seen me. I'd been borrowing a lot of Kie's clothes, which were very Pogue–ish. Converses. Jean shorts and tops. And I'd let my hair grow out a bit, stopped heat styling it like I had when I was a Kook. I was more Pogue, more myself, and more relaxed.

Plumb, a fellow Deputy, Sheriff, and someone who was close to my father came to greet me. "He's in this room." She led me down the hall. We walked in silence, and I was grateful for that. I was glad she wasn't asking questions, she wasn't trying to pry at me for why I'd run away.

She opened the door to a questioning room. It was the room where JJ had been held while they discussed Restitution for him. Metal walls, metal desk, and a single chair, chained to the floor.

"What—?" I stepped inside the door frame, a rookie mistake. I spun around, but it was too late. Plumb had already slammed the door behind me, and I heard the unmistakable click of the lock being swung in place.

I was trapped.

"Plumb—Peggy—someone let me out!" I shouted, banging on the door with my fists.

"I'm sorry, Mercedes," I heard Plumb say from the other side. "Your father will be here soon enough to pick you up. You'll just have to wait a bit."

"What does that mean?! This is definitely against the rules! Plumb—please," I pounded against the door, but she didn't respond.

Eventually, I slid against the heavy metal door with my back against it, and sat on the floor, arms around my knees.

I'd been put here, because my father'd requested it? Plumb had said he was out. The moment I walked through the doors, Peggy must've gone to call my dad in, and I bet, no I knew he would've given instructions for me to be held put.

But why?

I mean, he could've gone and thrown me into Juvi if he wanted to, he was Sheriff Shoupe! So why now, was he forcing me to come home and to ground me and to be a real father? It was ridiculous, it had taken me running away for a month for him to finally step up as a real father and act.

And then another thought dawned on me: Should I wait for him? I mean, my whole plan right along had been to talk to my father about John B, to tell everyone here that John B was innocent.

I decided that was stupid. It was naive to think that. Innocent. I'd walked through those doors, willingly, and no one had thought to actually talk to me. Instead, they'd shoved me into a holding cell until my father would come to pick me up and take me home. They wouldn't listen to me. I was just Mercedes Shoupe, the sixteen year old who'd gone crazy, turned all Pogue, gotten shot, and ran away from home. He was Victor Shoupe, long time successor and Sheriff, dedicated to serving the Outer Banks Kook population, of course they would listen to him.

He was my father. He had power over me. I was just his stupid, brain–washed daughter.

And I hated that. I would never be able to change the fact that it always came down to him and I.

↬——✾——↫

Suddenly, I heard voices outside the door. I pressed my ear against the heavy metal door, desperately trying to hear who was walking past.

"...Cupcake, don't you?" A boy snickered.

There was no mistaking it, that was JJ. Who else would be going around calling the Sheriff's "Cupcake" and who else would be stupid enough to come into jail to break John B out?

JJ, that's who.

"JJ!" I started yelling like crazy, kicking the heavy metal door, punching it (which hurt a little), and generally soundy psycho to make a ton of noise to catch his attention. "JJ! Let me out—JJ, it's me, Mercedes—!" I shouted, shoving myself against the door to make it budge.

Suddenly the door pulled open, and I fell forwards. "Whoah—!" I landed right in JJ's arms, as he caught me in surprise.

"Mercedes—?"

"Hey!" Plumb was dashing down the hall towards us.

"Come on!" I grabbed his hand, and we both sprinted out of the place.

After we escaped (narrowly diving into a truck JJ had managed to hot wire), and were out on the road, driving back, we could finally breathe a bit.

It was weird that my father didn't send cars after us, but I didn't comment. We had made it out alive, and that's all that mattered.

"JJ, how the hell did you unlock the door?" I asked him as we drove back.

"Snagged a key from the front desk. With all the noise you were making, it wasn't hard to figure out who it was." He shrugged.

"Um, thanks."

"S'okay," he said.

"Why'd you do it?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you save me? I thought you ... well, I thought we weren't good."

"You're a Pogue," he said, like it was that obvious.

"No, not like that. I mean, why did you save me even though you've been avoiding me lately?" I asked.

"Mercedes," he rubbed his forehead.

"Fuck this, JJ." I reached over, grabbed the wheel and turned it drastically so we swerved off the road and screeched to a stop on the side.

"What the fuck?! We almost died—are you fucking insane?!" JJ screamed at me as our tires smoldered.

"Look at me!" I shouted. He fell silent. "I don't know what I've done. You ignore me, you don't talk to me, and when I bring it up, you deny everything! So what have I fucking done to you, huh?"

"I ..." JJ looked away. "I mess up when people get close. I—I choke up, okay? I was scared, I guess, that you were ... I don't know. After you got shot ... I thought, I don't know what I thought. But I've never been so scared. Ever. And—."

"So you only "choke up" around me?!" I demanded. "Okay, I guess you "don't like it when people get close"," I air quoted. "Then how about around the others, huh? You seem just cozy around Kiara. So why her and not me?"

"I didn't mean it like that—"

"You're JJ around them, but around me?" My voice cracked. "Around me, it's this cold JJ. This distant JJ. It isn't you."

"I'm sorry." He said. "But it's never going to happen."

"What? What do mean, it's never going to happen—"

"Mercedes, this, whatever this is that you want, I won't offer it to you." JJ said. "It'll always be like this."

"What? What're you even saying?! So you'll always be—be—happy with the Pogues, but around me you won't accept me for who I am? Even after all this time, you still think I'm his daughter."

"You are." I saw the immediate regret after he said those words, but I didn't care.

"Fuck you, JJ." I spat, opened the side door, and left him alone in the car.

He said it would never happen. He would never truly accept me as a Pogue—even though he said I was a Pogue, he wouldn't act like I was one. He wouldn't trust me enough to be himself. He pushed me, just me away, while the rest of the time he cozied it up with Kiara and the others.

I had had enough. Enough of him.

Enough of JJ.

a/n: included lyrics from Kanye West (guys don't kill me, I like the music not the artist). also isn't Mercedes name genius?? Like a rich ass car?? Re reading it, not that bad. surprisingly enjoyable, but veryyyy cliche (gross).