ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɴɪɴᴇ | ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇs

|||

Yelena had told you, again and again not to act foolishly, recklessly, and yet here you are, trying to befriend those you deemed as 'devils', even going as far as feeling sorry for some asshole you'd only known for a few months.

If she though that this was ridiculous already, she'd be shocked at the fact of you writing anonymous letters to some of the captives to rally them, to make them stand up for themselves and fight back.

How stupid it was, and how naive you were for thinking you'd never get caught.

For thinking you'd somehow make it back home.

"He's against Zeke's has plan, this is bad." Yelena told you before sighing in frustration.

"Can't say i'm surprised."

"He said that Zeke can shove his plan 'elsewhere'. Seems like he isn't ready to sacrifice his friends which makes everything way more difficult than it actually could be."

"I've told you, that he wouldn't go along with the plan, Zeke is putting way too much faith in him.. and so are you." You said, crossing your arms in displeasure. Being part of this wasn't at your interest, whether it was selfish or not, you just wanted to go home.

Yelena gave you a weak smile, it was almost evident that her expression came from no real place of human emotion, that it was false. "He will eventually realise what's best for everyone and make the right decisions."

You let out a snort, "Seriously? If he doesn't even agree to the queen passing down the beast titan, I really want to see his face when you tell him about the euthanization plan."

"He will." She said without the slightest bit of hesitation. "He doesn't have much of a choice, does he?"

"He does, he had the founder after all. I don't trust that guy." Standing up from the bench, you stretched your limbs. "That.. devil."

Yelena took a slow breath before she heaved herself from the concrete wall of the building, there was a cruelness in her eyes. "Yet we all know that it takes Zeke to make full use of it."

"Or the queen."

Your words provoked her, giving her the feeling of uncertainty the more you found holes in Zeke's plan. "Look, as much as i enjoy talking to you, I really have to leave."

"Going to see your little eldian prince?"

The words hit a nerve, you had no idea what she meant by that and it was evident that she was mocking you, trying to get under your skin. Biting your lower lip quite harshly, you pondered on why she'd refer to him in such a way in the first place before replying, "I have absolutely no clue on what you're talking about."

You sounded bitter, confused. The situation wasn't nearly what she imagined it to be. You had no interest in him like that, so why did she have to go ahead and plant the seeds of your supposedly romantic feelings for him into your mind?

The only thing you wanted, was to understand him better, understand everything you'd believed to be evil about the people on this island. You had no feelings for him, you couldn't.

You wanted peace with the ones you slowly started seeing as your 'friends', before you'd eventually rally the captives with the letters and escape.

That's why it was so important that you wouldn't get caught writing them.

Too lost in your own thoughts, you didn't even notice Yelena walking away from you, thinking of your behavior as pathetic and ridiculous.

You knew she had no right to judge you, turning around, you make your way to the headquarters, knowing that Floch would be there, even though he had told you to wait for him to come to you to talk about everything, you were way too impatient. Not to mention that he seemed to have disappeared into thin air.

"HEY!!!"

You visibly flinched before making eye-contact with one of the soldiers. "What are you doing here all alone?"

"I.." You paused for a second before continuing, "Was looking for one of the veterans."

The dark haired soldier raised an eyebrow, his emerald eyes conceitedly looking down at your form. "Which one?" He asked.

"Floch.."

"He's sick." The soldier replied and you immediately felt a pang of guilt.

As expected, the soldier refused to tell you about his whereabouts, so you had no choice but to ask Sasha, your little talk with her helping you to find out that he lives alone in a small house nearby. You'd decided to pay him a visit with Sasha guarding you, you had already asked Niccolo to make a soup for Floch beforehand, first he was hesitant to do so, but later he complied.

Once you arrived at his house, you knocked on the door, looking over at Sasha who was hiding behind the building. She gave you a thumbs-up, a cheeky grin on her face that caused your eyebrows to furrow in annoyance before your eyes shifted back at the wooden door.

Suddenly the door opened, revealing the red-head you had been looking for. Puffy, tired eyes, pale skin and a reddish nose tip, there was no doubt that he was sick. Floch's hazel eyes widened a little as they landed on you, his chapped lips slightly parting; "Well, that's a surprise."

A smile graced your lips as you held out the little pot of soup in front of you. "I heard you were sick, so i've decided to-"

"Who told you where I live?" There was no denying the fact that he sounded displeased. There was a brief and awkward silence before Sasha's name slipped from your lips.

He leaned back against the door, crossing his arms in annoyance, "Let's get real, (Y/N). I hope you know that you're not allowed to be here."

"I know.." You sighed in frustration, your (e/c) orbs looking down at the pot in your hands, "But I feel like it's my fault that you got sick in the first place, so let me at least take care of you."

A snort rang through your ears, causing you to look up at him again. "You think I'm incapable of taking care of myself?" Something strange laced in his voice, you couldn't tell if it was sarcasm or mockery.

Rolling your eyes you heaved a sigh, "Listen, I'm not here for some petty bickering, either you take the soup and let me inside, and I can assure you the soup tastes delicious." You smiled, "Or you don't."

"Fine." He replied, and once again there was an oddness to his tone you couldn't quite grasp.
He heaved himself off the door and opened it wide enough for you to step inside. You stared at him for a second before his face once again twisted into a look of pure annoyance; "Does your highness need a formal invitation, or is simply holding the door open for you enough?"

Floch really had the ability to strike every single nerve in your body. He caused an emotion, an anger within you that you couldn't come back from.

Yet you were stronger than the anger you felt in that moment, so without even seeming affected by his word, you walked in and to your surprise, his house was a mess. It was only logical for him to be unable to clean while he's sick.

He took the pot from your hands and walked towards the kitchen before setting it aside on the countertop, you followed suit and watched him. "Are you hungry?" He asked, reaching for the top-shelf to pull out a small bowl, but you shook your head.

"More for me." You watched him as he filled the bowl with the liquid, your eyes gazing up and down at his form, he wore a white, loose long-sleeved shirt and black pyjama pants, his hair was a mess. "Do you want anything to drink?" He spoke again.

"Water would be nice."

Floch filled you a glass of water and handed it to you before walking towards his bedroom with a spoon and the bowl of soup in his hands, gesturing you to follow him.

"What?" You asked boldly, "You want me to go inside your bedroom with you? Aren't we moving a little too fast?"

A derisive sigh escaped his lips, "You," He momentarily paused, "God-damn idiot."

"You're the one to talk, stupid Floch."

Ignoring you, he walked into his bedroom, and shortly after you followed him. He sat on his bed as you put the glass of water in your hand on the nightstand next to his bed, before taking a seat on the small couch next to it. You were watching Floch with eager eyes, irritated by your gaze he cocked an eyebrow. "Go on, eat it." You said as realization hit him, staring at the bowl in his hands then back at you.

"Are you by any chance trying to poison me?"

At that you blurted out laughing. "I think poisoning people is rather something that you would do. I on the other hand have no reason to do something like that."

"Hilarious." He said sarcastically, taking a sip of the soup, "Hmm, tastes like; Nothing."

"What do you mean?" You asked in disbelief. "Niccolo made that!"

"I meant what I said, don't make me repeat myself."

You immediately stood up and yanked the spoon from his hand, "Give me that, dumbass!"

Dipping it into the bowl of soup, you brought it back to your lips to see for yourself. Floch watched you intently, the way you ate from the same spoon as him, and he couldn't shake the odd sensation he felt in that moment.

Why were you even here to begin with? He simply couldn't understand, was it out of kindness, guilt maybe, or was it something else? Were you here because you were developing feelings for him? He wondered, but he would never let you know.

"It tastes amazing! Delicious! Succulent! Spectacular! Appetizing! Exquisite! Digestible! Yumm-"

"Enough." He interrupted you, abhorred by your idiocy, by the way you exaggerated the taste although for him it tasted like nothing at all.

"Floch, you simply can't taste anything because you're sick, but I suggest you still finish what's in the bowl, it'll help you get better."

Why did you care so much? Just before you were about to return to the couch, a strand of your hair brushed his hand. His heart skipped a beat, he could deny it all he wanted, until his heart was content, but he had feelings for you, and he already started hating it. Those feelings of his, he would never admit it, he would kill them, he won't let them overpower him.

But who knew that one day you were going to betray each other? The more you spent time together, the more you sealed each other's fate.

Who knew that one day you would hate him so much that you'd find yourself unable to look him in the eyes?

"Have you lost your mind?!" You screeched, "How can you agree to Yelena's plan?"

Floch was pacing back and forth in the room, the tension rising, "It's a partial rumbling." He lied, looking you dead in the eyes.

"Quit lying already!" You shouted, pulling the roots of your hair in frustration and disbelief, "Why did Eren show up here that night?"

"I'm not lying, believe whatever you want, but this is the truth."

It infuriated you that he could lie so auspiciously
to your face, but he always knew what you were
thinking and knew the right damn thing to say.
You were so desperate for his love that you
foolishly fell for it over and over again.

Your glare intensified, "Tell me the truth. NOW!"

Giving you an intense look, he seethed; "I already told you the truth, you can't be that obnoxious, can you?"

Irritated by his response, you scoffed, "To what? Your arrogance?"

"The truth."

There was an awkward silence before he spoke again, loud and clear, "I'll do anything for Eldia and its people, play the devil if I have to-"

"PISS OFF ALREADY!"

You had hoped that a civil conversation would've turned things around, but the situation escalated almost immediately. What you could only describe as anger flashed his features, before he grimaced at your words and stormed out of the room. It was a mistake to even talk to each other in the first place after everything that had happened.

You found yourself unable to repress your spiteful thoughts. Nothing helped to appease the anger coursing through your veins, to quieten this constant conflict, this never ending battle, this incessant need to outspite the other. You would not succumb to it, nor would you ever trust him again.

Before the raid in Marley, Floch had broken up with you, he'd told you that the passionate nights and the memories you both shared were all only guided by lust, and that it was over.

Yet you didn't know that he craved your love, your affection so much that it was his own downfall. The way you once looked at him lovingly was gone, and the way you'd look at him now made his voice catch in his throat.

Now more than ever, did he need you to understand, but you couldn't. He had left you, ripped your heart out of your chest and now he expected you to understand him, to love him like you used to.

"I'll make you eat your words." You muttered to yourself, and before you could even blink, he barged back into the room. "What did you just say?!"

"Nothing." You replied, feeling your heart thrash against your chest as you tried to turn away from him.

"That didn't sound like nothing." His jaw twitched, displeased by your nerve to threaten him, his features twisted into a look that scared you senseless. "'I'll make you eat your words.'" He mocked, speaking in a higher octave to imitate you, before seizing both your upper arms painfully, his face close enough that your noses were touching, "Do you know something that I don't?"

The woman he held right now was someone he wanted to treasure, keep close to himself for as long as possible if not forever. He wanted to protect you, he'd promised to, and he desperately wanted to stay true to his words, but now you found yourselves at the opposite ends of the coin, unable to trust a word the other was saying.

"Let go off me!" You panicked, trying to get out of his grip as his breath fanned your cheek, "Spit. It. Out."

Something was off. Floch never acted this way even when he was furious, especially not towards you. He'd usually mock you or leave you speechless, but never go through the lengths of hurting, or cornering you like this.

You managed to push him aside and sprinted out of the room, yet found yourself unable to leave the house, captivated by the fear of being seen together. No one was supposed to know about the two of you.

Floch still relentlessly insisted on continuing this nonsense, making him back down from an argument was impossible. "TELL ME!" He snapped as he followed you around the house, your footsteps were quick, trying to get away from him. You went into the bathroom to lock yourself in, but before you could even think about closing the door, his hand shot out and roughly grabbed your wrist, causing you to hiss in pain.

"Leave me alone already!" You yelled as he forcefully dragged you out of the bathroom, a bitter laugh invading your eardrums. "Don't worry I will, now back to what you said earli-" Before he could finish his sentence, you quickly freed your wrist out of his grasp before your hands thrusted against his chest, hardly shoving him backwards. You both were soldiers yet he was so much stronger that it infuriated you.

"I didn't say anything." You walked towards the kitchen and he was still following you, he just wouldn't stop. "What the hell is wrong with you, Floch?" You cried out as tears brimmed at the corners of your eyes, before desperately reaching out to the vase on top of the windowsill and throwing it at his feet, but this only made everything worse.

The vase shattered into thousand smithereens, causing his hazel eyes to darken at your audacity to do something so unbelievably stupid.

"Now..!" You brought your hands together as the smile on your face extended. "You better tell me about that day, you promised, remember?"

"I don't remember promising anything."

You huffed, crossing your arms in annoyance. "Just tell me already! Please?"

He pondered for a second whether he should start telling you everything or not, but that look on your face caused him to give in. "... Alright."

Setting the bowl on the nightstand, his eyes now fixated on you, for a moment you felt captivated, there was something in the way he looked at you, that caused you to feel some type of way you couldn't quite understand.

"It was two years ago, at that time we tried to take back wall Maria." He started, "I used to be a garrison, and there was a shortage of soldiers in the scouts."

You hummed, slightly leaning forward and signaling him to continue. "One day a recruiter came and asked us 'which of you has the courage' and I really thought I could do it." A shaky laugh escaped his lips, "You know, be some kind of hero. It was obvious that someone had to bite the bullet and fight, but I never imagined it to be..."

Floch felt sick, he felt the urge to weep at the memories that played before his eyes once again. "Floch, are you.." He cut you off before you could finish, "Our former commander came up with a plan, we were to charge at the beast titan at the expense of our lives.. I saw how my comrades were smashed to bits, and out of everyone-" His face darkened, unable to comprehend the words to express how he felt. "I was the only one who survived."

You bit your lower lip, ashamed at the pain that the warchief had caused upon the people of paradise island. "My close friends, Sandra.. Gordon, everyone was dead." His hand slightly shook, "And when I saw that the commander was still alive, I went to finish him off myself."

"W-why?" Your voice was barely audible, despite the silence that now lingered.

Giving you a serious look that you just couldn't apprehend, his knuckles turned white as his hand clenched into a fist. "I thought he ought to pay for what he did."

The expression on his face was terrifying, you regretted asking and still, you understood him better than anyone else.

"But then I thought to myself that killing him would be too merciful and that he had to taste more of this hell."

"So.. what did you do?"

"Then I realised that the only way to win, was to become a devil... Commander Erwin was the devil that we needed, so why-" He paused mid-sentence, his expression one of pure frustration. "Why wasn't he chosen." It was more of a statement than a question.

Remembering what Sasha had told you, you knew about the choice between Armin and the commander, and you'd wondered the same as well, why wasn't the commander chosen over a regular soldier?

"Sasha told me about it." You admitted, heaving a sigh. "And honestly, I was asking myself the same question as you. Wouldn't it have been more logical to save the commander of the scouts instead?"

At that he let out a bitter chuckle, "Everyone got their emotions involved, even the captain."

"I know it won't change what happened, but I'm so sorry, Floch. No one deserves to go through all of this."

Just before he was able to reply to you, a knock was heard from the front door. Floch grabbed his temple in annoyance before heaving himself off the bed and walking out of the room, you followed him into the living room, yet before you could reach the door, he shoved you aside, "Hey?!"

"Shh, keep it down. I don't want anyone seeing you here and getting the wrong idea. You're not even supposed to be here."

You nodded as he hid you behind the door, before opening it. He felt relieved when he was greeted with the mahogany haired female soldier. "Is (Y/N) here?" Sasha asked nervously, "I went back to the headquarters and that tall woman was looking for her!"

You immediately popped from behind the door, causing Floch to step aside. "Yelena?" You asked, "What the hell does she want from me now?"

"I don't know, but she told commander Hange that you were missing."

Your jaw dropped in shock, "But doesn't she - already know -" That bitch you thought.

"Hurry we have to leave!"

Your eyes shifted at Floch, but he was just looking ahead at the mahogany-haired girl.

"I'll take my leave." You said as you waved at him and stepped outside, "See you later."

The red-head simply nodded before closing the door. You smiled to yourself while you and Sasha started walking away, but you stopped and stared at the house one last time, and to your surprise, you could see Floch's silhouette behind one of the windows.

He was staring at the way the faint rays of the sunset illuminated your face, making you look even more beautiful than you already were.

His eyebrows slightly scrunched.

Had you just blown him a kiss?

He looked back at you, only for you to lift your hand, press it against your lips and extend it up to the window. You were. You were blowing him a kiss, and he'd never been more ashamed that his heartbeat accelerated and his breath got caught in his chest. What were you doing to him?

He saw you wave one last time as you stuck out your tongue, before turning around and walking off. A smirk found its way to your lips, your gesture was simply just to mock him a little, nothing too serious.

Oh but how oblivious you were to what those harmless acts of teasing would lead the both of you to.

|||

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top