OUTERBANKS, FRESHMAN YEAR
( FALL BREAK )

            AS THE WEEKS PASSED, Kiara and June were inseparable. The countless sleepovers was like heaven as they laughed and sung their heart away. They were official. But, somehow it never got completely out.

Sarah Cameron didn't know why she was so crushed. She felt as if her best friend was with another girl. Literally. She was very aware of their relationship but, she felt like the only girl she ever cared truly about was being stolen away, as any girl would feel in her shoes.

Speaking of shoes, "Girl, those look like a pigeon shitted on your shoes." June degraded as she looked at Sarah's black base shoes with white smudges all over them. "Hey! They're cute."

"Yeah, look in the mirror some more." June teased, smiling at the girl infront of her who hit her with a pillow, "Not funny." June grabbed her with a laugh and gave her a hug, "Don't worry I love you. Just not the shoes, kay?"

"I love you too, I guess." She sarcastically mumbled. "How's you and Kie?"

"We're pretty good. She's just distant, if you get what I mean." Sarah gave her a confused look as she sighed,

"I dunno. She's different now. Almost mean. Like, she doesn't really act how she used too act in public anymore. She's almost, cautious." June explained. "You think she's scared of you guys getting out?"

"No, because a lot of people know about it already. It's just, something's not right." And just like that, Sarah felt the smartest she had ever been in a long time. "June, doesn't she have a new friend or something?"

"Yeah, Camilla. That's who she's with now actually." Sarah gave her a look that immediately brought chills too her body, "No way. You don't think..?"

"I think." Sarah nodded, sad too even think of Kiara that way. "She wouldn't, Sar'. She's my girlfriend." June awkwardly chuckled, "Your girlfriend who's been being weird and ignoring you all month. God, open your eyes just a little bit at the possibility." Sarah continued, "She may not be cheating on you but, I wouldn't trust it."

June sighed as she let her head fall into Sarah's lap. "This is so confusing."

"I know. But, don't worry about that. Your birthday is in literally three days. I'm throwing the biggest party at my house. It's gonna be fucking huge. The seniors are coming, Juniors, everybody. A chance for you too meet new people and stop stressing about Kiara fucking Carrera!"

"Okay. Thank you. For real. Wanna go shopping or something?" Sarah licked her lips, "Thought you'd never ask."

As June walked through the mall, she saw many things that reminded her of how she was with Kiara. They way she loved her. As two ladies walked down the mall hand in hand as she held her up from falling, it was laughter that echoed throughout the mall from the couple. She wished they could go back too being happy but, all they did was argue anymore.

Sarah rolled her eyes at the sight infront of her, "There's my brother and Camilla. Shit heads." June rolled her eyes as Rafe practically broke his neck too look at the two, only to get a middle finger from the brunette while the blonde next to her was clueless.

June smiled as she got home. A nicely cleaned room and it smelled like roses as she saw the pretty ones spread on her desk. "What the," She mumbled at the feeling of a pair of arms wrap around her waist. "Hi." Her voice. Like a one in a million. She could point it out in a group of all the girls in the world. It was her.

She felt a wave of excitement as she turned around, kissing her as her hands traveled too her hips. "I missed you." June laughed. "Me too." Kiara couldn't have smiled bigger as she rubbed her shoulder lightly.

Kiara sat on the bed whilst June changed into pajama pants, "How was your day?" She questioned. "It was fun, actually. What about you?"

"It was so fun. Me and Sarah went too the mall— oh and we saw Camilla but, we didn't say hi or anything." June shrugged. As she looked back at Kiara, she had a soften look at her face at the girls name. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just tired." Kiara laid her head down on the pillow as June climbed in bed with her. The feeling of Kiara's hand rubbing her softly was like a thousand hugs. Though, she couldn't help but wonder why she was so close too Camilla. They've only known each other for a few weeks, so the suspicion was scary.

"Kie?" June whispered, "Hm?"

"Um, is Camilla like, um, not straight?" She questioned, trying too find an excuse as to ask about her. "I don't think so. She's dated Rafe Cameron like 5 times on and off so, I dunno."

"Isn't Rafe older? Like way older?" June was curious for her best friends brother. "No. Just a two year age gap. It's not that bad." She nodded, "I guess."

"Why ask?" Kiara looked at her, stopped playing with her hair as she pulled her face forward, looking at her in confusion, "Just curious. I don't really know her."

"I'll introduce you sometime." June rolled her eyes, turning the other way. "Yeah. Goodnight."

Sadly, her dreams were interrupted by a loud vibration. And no Kiara. She turned her body, tapping for her lose body and disappointment filled her face.

"Hello?" June jumped at the loud voice, "June! Get over here now! You won't believe who is fucking here!" She sat up quickly, rushing too put on her shoes. "Okay! Okay! Sarah, I'm so confused," June shook her head, "Just get here!"

As June drived she thought of all the bad things that could've been going on in her best friends home. Was Rafe having a boys only party that June wouldn't enjoy in any aspect. Or was Topper Thornton finally coming too his senses and getting with Sarah?

The door opened too an unfamiliar face in a big T-shirt with short blonde hair. Her lips were practically bruised and the several hickies along her neck were very noticeable.

"Can I help you?" The girl said. "Um, I'm June. Is Sarah here?" Her eyes practically lit up at her name. "June! Oh my god. I thought i'd never meet you." June looked her up and down rudely, "I'm sorry? Who are you?"

Then it hit her. No. There's no way. "I'm Camilla." Her name made her want too shoot herself right then and there. She smiled fakely, "Oh, right. Hey!" She stuck her hand out for a handshake, only too be hugged tightly. There was no way this sweet girl would come in between her and Kiara. Her mind was at peace as she hugged her back. "Sorry! She's upstairs."

She's never ran into a house fast enough, bolting up the large stairs and into her room, "Okay, what the fuck!" June breathed heavily. "Sh!"

"Camilla is sleeping with Rafe! They're dating. Like committed. She's cheating on my brother with your girlfriend." Sarah was very uptight about it, pointing at the brunette infront of her, "Sarah, you're stretching the fucking situation. There's no way. Kiara wouldn't cheat on me. I know her!" Sarah laughed at her words,

"Open your fucking eyes! She's always with her, always near her, and Kiara won't shut up talking about her every time all three of us hang out. Your blind. And clearly an idiot because you're  to love struck to see what type of person your with." Sarah rambled, all these words coming out her mouth felt like a stab in the back as tears formed in her eyes,

"Are you fucking serious? Sarah, my whole life I'm been dating boys to deny the fact I like girls. And when I finally meet a girl I really like I'm love struck and a fucking idiot?" June had tears streaming down her face at this point. "You shouldn't even be with her." Sarah shook her head, "There's plenty of girls who would kill to be with you and only you." She got closer too her and June felt her heart racing.

"You don't get it." June shook her head, hiccuping as she turned around to face the wall. "Hey. Look at me," Sarah turned the girl around, "I love you." June was lost in her eyes she almost forgot why she was crying. Sarah sat two hands on her face as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

June felt her heart fluttering as she inched closer, as did Sarah. But, the scene became too familiar. They look at each other with light eyes as Sarah slid her hands down too her waist, and June's hand brushed her arm.

"I can't." June shook her head, scooting slightly back. "I know." Sarah sighed.

June fought every urge as she pulled away, walking out towards the door. She sprinted down the stairs, ignoring the looks of a cuddled up Camilla and Rafe.

Sarah sat on her bed, confusing filling her body as her actions didn't make sense. She wasn't into girls. Was she?

The girl cried all the way too the car, uncontrolled sobs and confusing thoughts traveled. Her mind was overwhelming and mind clenching. She felt as if her mind was slowly closing in on her. Everything she was afraid of was suddenly happening.

June walked too the chateau holding a bottle of tequila as she smiled at the boys on the hammock. "Wassup boys!"

"There's our favorite girl!" John B pointed, then cheering at the sight of the bottle. "Do you know how much we love you, June?" JJ ran towards her an arm over her shoulder with a smile. "Bullshit. You just love me cause i spoil you with shit you guys don't need."

"You look sad." Pope pointed out. "If I was sad I would've been blasting Taylor swift in my bedroom right now."

Except she was lying. This is her happy place. Where she went when she was sad. There was never anything fake over here. Just love and appreciation.

Plus, weed.

"JJ, roll up." She threw him a bag, as they sat down by the beach. "Yep."

She felt awkward as she sat there, laying on the blanket. Her birthday was tomorrow and she couldn't quite get her finger tip on her girlfriend. Why was she so distant? She hadn't heard from her all day, and now the situation with Sarah made it ten times worse.

What was going on? She felt hopeless. Like her whole teenage years were going shit and all because of a girl. Not a boy. A girl. And she was fine with that. But, she wished she was happy.

"Earth to June?" Pope said, the only sober one out of all of them. "Yep?" She spoke up finally, dragging the word. "You good?" He asked, laying down next to her. "Yep. Just pretty fuckin tired, y'know." Her voice cracked as she tried too fight the tears.

"Never mind that. Distract me. Tell me about your um, your studies for scholarship in progress." June tried too smile. "Yes. Finally. So," Pope began too ramble and she looked at the two boys fighting infront of her. Her eyes shut, as she found herself dreaming her life in the future.

June went home to the smell of her mothers famous tamales. "Hey, sweetheart." Her mother smiled, before seeing her daughters red bloodshot eyes. The smell of weed lingered around her as she immediately threw the plate on the table as she rushed too her,

"Que pasa, mami." Her mother wiped the tears from her shorter daughters eyes, pushing the hair off her shoulder. "I'm okay." She smiled, her eyes blank. You could tell she wasn't but her mother wasn't the type too press anything. "Okay, you don't have too tell me. But, I made you a plate. I'll get you some tea and a hot rag that I can use under your eyes, kay?" She nodded, leaning into a hug, as her mother breathed in sadness.

"Don't ever leave me, okay?" Her daughter was squeezing the life out of her as she nodded. "I promise, Hija."

"Now, sit. Sit. Your food is getting cold I can feel it." She chuckled, as she mumbled a small okay, and sat at the table.

"What about your birthday?"

"Sarah's throwing me a huge party at her house I guess." June sniffled, smiling as her mom handed her an ice roller and a hot rag. "Cool. Don't party too hard. Your dads gonna be at work and so will I. Open your presents tonight and wear them tomorrow, kay?"

"Okay, thanks, mom." She smiled. "Yeah, whatever. Clean your plate off please." She tried not too pay attention too the little amount of food her daughter put in her mouth in that moment.

"Junie, you know you can always talk to me right?" Her mom said, "Yeah. Goodnight."

God sleeping felt like a reward sent from above. The stuffed animal she hugged that belonged to Sarah and a hoodie that was her dads. She sighed as she picked up her phone. At 12:00 many, many phone calls and texts were sent but she felt no excitement. More so to get drunk.

A knock was placed on her window as she turned too see her favorite blonde girl.

Her clock read 10 Am. A smile. A smile of relief was what had fell on her face. She ran too her window as quick as she could too see her holding at least ten bags. "Why didn't you take the door?" She giggled.

"It seemed more cliche." She shrugged, handing her the bags. "You didn't have too."

"I did. And I'm sorry about yesterday," June shook her head, "What happened yesterday?" She smiled, raising her eyebrows. "Right, sorry."

"Forget about it. Its fine. I'm fine." June had never had such a strong lie come out her mouth until that moment.

"Okay. Let's have some fucking drinks. I also can make a killer cake so let's go downstairs."

"Come on!"

They felt like little kids in a candy shop as they danced. Throwing sugar and flour all over eachother. "My moms gonna kill me!"

"Shit!" Sarah laughed, "Let's make snowmen out of the flour!"

"You just want me too die, yeah?" June chuckled. But, somehow they ended up on the flour making "snowmen". "Girl we needa get dressed shit!"

Hours and hours, spent as they got ready with makeup. June had on a hot pink dress with her hair in a messy ponytail, her white birthday girl sash laying comfortably on her shoulder. "One more thing!" Sarah smiled, pulling out a crown.

"Isn't that a bit much?" June was very unsure about the girls fashion statements, "June. You better be joking. Your to beautiful to not be to much on your birthday." Her heart fluttered at the comment, watching the girl place it on her head.

"Thank you, Sar'. I love you. A lot." June smiled. "Don't make me cry I'm gonna mess up my makeup." June fanned her face, holding her best friends hand. "Stop. I love you, okay?"

"Let's go party until we literally can't move." June raised her eyebrows, "Okay, your pushing it."

Let's talk kook parties. Kook parties were basically drug deals and coke parties. But, this was a different party. A mixed one. You had your pogues on one, the kooks on the other.

June liked to be balanced and as soon as she walked in, the overwhelming sight of everybody cheering scared her. "Okay, what the fuck Sarah?" June gritted her teeth. "Shut up. You look hot."

At the corner of her eye she could see the pogues with Kiara, waving at them with a smile. "I'll be back."

She ran towards them with a smile, "There she is!" John B pointed, "Whoo!" JJ fanned himself, "It's getting hot in here isn't it guys," Kiara joked, wiping her sweat off with her wrist.

"Stop it, Stop." She flipped her ponytail. "I'm really glad you guys are here!" She smiled bringing them all into a group hug. "I hate how affectionate you are but we'll hug today, I guess." One of them mumbled as she let out a chuckle.

"I'm gonna steal birthday girl for a second." Kiara smiled, "Have at it." June nodded, waving too them as she guided her too the side of the house.

A kiss was pressed against her lips as her back was pressed against the wall. "You look so pretty." Kiara laughed. "You too." She smiled at her short shorts and long T. "Where's June?" She heard her best friend. "I'm being summoned."

As she began too walk away, she circled back for on last kiss, "Bye."

"There you fucking are. Come on!" Sarah dragged her, practically pushing the drink into her drink. "Chug both of these we're dancing." She handed her both, "What?"

"Hurry." Sarah said, taking her two cups as well. "God, what the fuck did you put in that?" June coughed. "Straight liquor, Hennessy and some lemons." She shrugged.

As they danced she found herself wondering where her girlfriend was. And when she stopped dancing for a second too catch her breath out of the corner of her eye she saw a curly haired girl walking up the steps. It was her Kiara.

"I'll be back. I gotta piss." She stated over the loud music. June stumbled out the dance floor, drinking anything in sight. Her vision was blurry and her mind was extremely foggy as she almost fell down the stairs twice.

The sound of kissing echoed the room, "I can't do this to her. This stops now." Her voice was sad too say that almost. "What?"

"I can't do this too my girlfriend. She actually likes me. I think I love her. And this, this isn't going anywhere." Kiara shook her head. "So what? I was just a helpless little hookup?"

"Yes. I love my girlfriend."

"You didn't say that before."

June let out a cry as she stumbled away from the door and into the bathroom. She kicked the door closed as grunts filled the room. She was sick. She couldn't believe it. Her girlfriend was a cheater. A hand picked her hair up, as she felt a familiar hand caress her back. "I got you."

June let out loud sobs as she fell back on the girl. "I know."

The rest of the night was shit. Fake smiles and fake friends. She was put into a reality check. Nothing was real. Nobody was there. And nobody really cared. She knew that now. She wished she could thank Kiara for being the girl who broke her heart.

And now, the pogues had be-friended her. She didn't hate them for it. She knew they didn't know. And even if they did, they were the only people she truly ever loved.

Besides her bestfriend. Sometimes all you need is a best friend. A somebody who you can debate on everyday. And that was okay.

It was enough for her.