sixteen, sorry

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

...

"Y/n..." He starts, his voice... like a distant dream, light and airy... and barely comprehendible. "Why? ... Why'd you do it?"

You couldn't respond, your voice was trapped inside your head... but he still understood. "Why'd you do it?"

Tears streamed down your face, and you tried—you tried to reach out for him, but you didn't have to. In a split second, he was inches from your face. Eyes you used to gaze into and tease for seeming so innocent were now angry and glaring. One side was unrecognizable, and the other, you couldn't bear the weight of looking at it directly.

"WHY'D YOU DO IT?? TELL ME!"

"I'm sorry..." You whimpered. There's a strong piercing in your ear and you can hear a faint buzzing, like... like static or something. It was getting louder... or closer.

And the closer it got the more high-pitched it sounded. It hurt so bad... you just wanted to get away from it but you weren't moving. All of a sudden, a bright light pierced through your lids and burned your eyes.

Your vision was blurred and your lids were open maybe a little over a centimeter and it was still too bright. You could hear... voices. Faint, muffled voices but worst of all was the smell. Antiseptic.

You hated it.

"Why, Y/n, why'd you do it?"

That voice. You know it.

You peeled your eyes open... and white light burned through them and reached your skull... a familiar pain in your head blooming. You couldn't make out much except... fuzzy... outlines of... things.

You tried to will your body to move but it didn't help much.

"Y/n! Hey, hey... don't try to sit, just rest.." Hazel eyes peered down at you. "I'll get a doctor, hold on." And in that same second that he appeared, he left.

"Wait..." You croaked softly... but you don't think he heard. Fuck, you could hardly hear yourself.

You squeezed your eyes shut for a second, blinked a few times, and then tried to sit up anyway. "Ah..." you huff, holding your breath like it'll help the pain. You grunt as you shift your weight, relying on your arms to lift yourself up.

You blinked a couple of times but it hardly helped. You looked down and noticed your attire. A white robe with small blue polka dots littering the fabric. And then your barely visibly capable eyes trailed down to the wires attached to your arm.

Wait, ... did he say doctor?

Right as you realize you're in a damn hospital, the light brown door opens, and in comes a man in scrubs and glasses. Jean walks in after him and you notice he looks... nervous. And terrible. Stubble more of a beard now... dark circles under his eyes and his mullet... in desperate need of a trim.

How did you not notice his hazel eyes were so... dull. How long have you been out? More importantly... what was he going through while you were lying here sleeping?

Your gaze only leaves him when the doctor speaks up. "Hello, there,.. gave us all quite the scare, Ms. L/n. I'm Dr. Jaeger. How are you feeling?" He adjusts his glasses and takes a look at the clipboard in his hands.

There are bruises and faded little scars scattered across your arms but there isn't too much pain anywhere else. Your head's killing you more than anything. So, you nod.

"Fine," you mutter, but your voice is so depleted and your throat dry.

Jean finally makes a move and finds himself right next to you in the blink of an eye. He grabs the glass that rests beside you and hands it to you. "Water," he says gently, looking at you with soft eyes.

Those eyes seemed to be the gateway to his heart and everything he must've been going through and you can see it. It hurt. So you took the glass but looked away. You'll talk later. When you're alone.

You intend to take a sip, but it feels so good and refreshing that you end up taking gulp after gulp until there are only a few drops left. You sigh once you finish it. "Thank you," you murmur and it's directed at Jean, of course, but you don't make any move to look at him.

You look toward the doctor instead. "How lo-" You pause, freezing up.

He gives you a wry smile and raises his brows slightly. "Is everything all right, Ms. L/n?"

You look at him, ... look at his eyes and his hair... but you drop it. Honestly, what could you say that wouldn't make you sound mental? You look down and shake your head. "Sorry, ... I... you remind me of someone." You squeeze your eyes for a second before looking back up. "How long was I out?"

"A little over a week," Jean's jaded voice speaks up and you look at him in surprise.

"A week?" You look at your arms again.

"You were in a coma," Dr. Jaeger says. "We didn't know if you'd be out for days, weeks, or even months, but we're glad you're awake. Mr. Kirstein, you may step out now if that's alright." He turns to Jean but gestures to you. "I have a few questions regarding your chart and medical history..." He starts.

You look at him, fidgeting with your fingers. "No, I...I want him to stay."

The doctor sighs softly, but after a second he gives in. "Alright. Says here, you were in an accident before," he says, peering over his glasses as he reads the information on his clipboard. "A year ago? You're in therapy, is that correct?"

You take a breath, shaking slightly.

"She's been through a lot, she probably doesn't want to—"

"No, it's okay, I'm okay, ... yes. To everything."

Dr. Jaeger nods. "Well, Dr. Ackermann came down and answered a couple of my questions, ... albeit reluctantly." He pauses. "He said he didn't know why you drove; it was never a requirement of you. He even said that he's surprised you wanted to."

He didn't ask a direct question, but he was looking at you expectantly. He must be hoping you'll fill in whatever blanks Levi left out.

You look at Jean and he's giving you that same look. Like he just wants to know what made you do it.

"I..." But can you say it here? You furrow your brows. You think you remember your thought process but you're not completely sure what's going on—

You know you were... trying to get away from Kruger. You glance at Dr. Jaeger. Or... really trying to get to Jean.

Jean doesn't seem to think you shouldn't tell him with the way he's looking at you. So, you will yourself to speak. "I was trying to..." Your eyes widen slightly as more and more memories flood you. "Find Jean." You look up at your best friend.

His eyes soften even further and you recognize the look. He glances away, his lips pursing and twisting slightly. Yeah, that's a look you're far too familiar with.

Guilt.

He blames himself.

"Find him?" Dr. Jaeger asks. "You couldn't call? Or—"

"I didn't have my phone with me." As more memories flood, the more questions you have for Jean. "It's with the police..." You tilt your head to the side. Jean's still not looking at you.

"We found a phone. It was destroyed in the wreck... but you had it with you."

Your eyes widen again, remembering everything now thanks to Dr. Jaeger's words. Kruger. He... called you... and you wrecked. You also remember your plan.

This was your plan... more or less. And it worked. This was the alternative. You're with Jean now, ... not Kruger. And you're in a hospital... you could tell them your story... and they could make the police help you. Right?

It was either this or letting Kruger have his way... but now... there's a way out. Sure, you're never getting in a car again... you'll probably walk for the rest of your life to places but... if you can get Jean out of this mess... then it's a win.

So, you take a shot.

"That phone was given to me. Or... really, it was left for me. I could only receive calls. I... brought it with me because I wanted to give it to the police once I found Jean." You say.

"Left for you? Left by who? A friend?" He asks. You glance at Jean, still not entirely sure if this is the right decision. You already are in contact with the police,... can the doctors convince them to work faster?

Guess you can't lie now.

"Kruger," You mutter, looking down. The doctor doesn't respond. "The guy who left me the phone... his name is Kruger. He's been... stalking me. Tormenting me. I... I've told the police this, of course. It's just that they're taking their time with it. I can't even remember how long it's been since I've last talked to the police..."

"...I see," Dr. Jaeger mutters, looking up and glancing away as if in deep thought.

"What is it?" You and Jean ask in unison.

"I'm just... very sorry," Dr. Jaeger peers at you from behind his worn-out glasses with an apologetic look. "I'll do whatever I can to help. Thank you for your time and for answering my questions. I'll have to examine crucial parts of your body like your back, neck, and shoulders and run a few tests just to make sure everything's alright, but afterward, if things are clear... we'll discuss hospital discharge."

You nod silently, straightening up and sighing inwardly. Nothing you're unfamiliar with. You stare down at your hands.

Honestly, ... home sounds nice.

But when you think about going, leaving the safety of the hospital,... it doesn't sound all that nice. And you hate the hospital. You've been out for a week... and while you have a headache, you think the time you've spent here is the most peaceful you've been in a while.

Dr. Jaeger shuffles around a bit, preparing whatever he needs. Meanwhile, you look at Jean and you think as long as he's around you'll feel at home no matter where you are.

-

Turns out, you will have to stay another day. Dr. Jaeger says he needs to monitor vital signs or whatever, you kind of drowned out the noise after a while, unintentionally.

But that was 5, maybe 10 minutes ago... now it's just you and Jean... in a silent, terribly bright, hospital room.

You glance at Jean but he's looking down, staring at whatever must be entertaining him on the floor. Your eyes soften, because you know his mind is somewhere else.

"Jean?" You whisper into the room, but it's louder than you expected.

"Mm?" He grunts softly and when you don't respond right away, he finally peers up at you. He straightens. "What do you need?"

"Nothing, Jean," You say, voice filled with worry. "Just to know you're okay. I need... answers. What happened? I have questions. Where were you?"

His face softens and he looks away. He's silent for a moment, then, "I'm so sorry, Y/n, ... leaving you alone. I-"

"Jean, please," You say, moving to sit up again. He tenses and looks at you when he hears the hospital bed creaking.

"Don't move," He says. "Rest."

"Talk to me. Jean, ... I don't blame you for the accident. It was my decision."

He stands and then sits at the edge of the bed. He swallows, running a hand down his face. "I promised myself, Y/n, ... that after Marco,... I'd protect you. It's what he'd want. And it's the least I could do for the both of you."

At the mention of Marco, you look down, throat constricting.

"So if anything were to happen...I..." He starts, taking a breath and composing himself, looking into your eyes when you look back up. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

EREN'S POV

At the sound of my phone ringing somewhere out of reach, I sigh and slide open the shower glass doors, yanking the towel off the rack and wrapping it around my waist.

"Can't even shower properly," I mutter, glaring as I grab a smaller towel and start drying my hair with it. I walk out and head to the bedroom where I find my phone on the bed where I tossed it.

"Coming, coming, ...fucking sheesh,..." I groan and grab it, looking at the caller ID.

My brows furrow but I answer, pressing the phone to my ear. Before I can mutter a word, I'm being yelled at.

"Eren, what the hell is going on? And you better tell me, clearly, this time, son," He says curtly into the phone.

"What happened?" I ask.

"The girl you told me about, ... that you made sure I looked over, the one you said was important. What's going on with her?? She's terrified, Eren. Says a guy named Kruger is stalking her?? The real Kruger I knew is dead... and you're one of the only people I told about him. What did you do, Eren?"

"Is she... how is she? Injuries?"

My dad sighed exasperatedly on the other line before saying, "She'll be fine. Physically, that is. This girl's been through a lot. And as a doctor, I told her I'll help however much I can. And it's true, Eren. It's clear something's going on,... the way she looked at me,... she said I reminded her of someone." He pauses, waiting for me to say something.

Relief floods through me and my shoulders drop. I sigh, "Listen, Dad, ... she's... I care for her. Just trust me, alright? I'm fixing all of this."

After a moment, he says, "You better, Eren. I'm serious."

"...How's mom?"

His voice softens. "Don't you worry about her, that's my job. ...You can always come to see her. She misses you."

"I will."

With that, the call ends and I run a hand through my hair. I get out of my Dad's contact and scroll to find Armin's.

I call and when he picks up, I don't give him a chance to say anything.

"The plan's changed."

LilReaper_

Published: 11.15.24

Total words; 2,374

Ermmm... so it's been like.. what a month??? Sorry about that... writer's block's a bitch.