"If you could live on any of the planets you've visited, which one would it be?"

It was Anakin's turn to ask the latest question in their endless back and forth game that they played to pass the time. The cells beneath the steel earth were still cold and damp, still panic-inducing and morbid, but his hand lay on top of hers and there was never a moment of quiet amid their chatter, as though the constant sound would keep the darkness at bay.

Val thought for a moment, "Saying Alderaan feels like cheating because I have lived there, so probably Corellia. I did a job there once, stealing ships to sell for Rolfe. Wasn't that hard actually, I should send them an anonymous holotape saying to tighten their security."

Anakin shook his head with a laugh, "That sounds like something you would do. Your turn, intergalactic thief extraordinaire."

Val hummed thoughtfully whilst she thought of another question. They had asked each other all manner of things in the hours they had been playing this game — everything from their favourite foods to their most daring escapes. At one point, the conversation had turned in the direction of their first life taken. Anakin's had been a nasty smuggler who rightly deserved it, but Val then had to tell the story of the terrified civilian guarding war relief supplies.

Anakin had listened quietly while she spoke, never speaking and only softly squeezing her hand once she had no more to say — no more truths to bleed. Strangely, she felt none of the familiar shame and anger that arose when she recalled the memory, the sensation of blood coating her hands; she felt only a mournful sorrow for the child she had been, the young girl no one had protected.

"Okay," She began, "If you weren't a Jedi, what would you be doing? Assuming you have every option available to you."

"Oh, that's a good one," Anakin said, placing his hand that wasn't grasping hers behind his neck. He hummed a nonsense tune while he thought, tapping her wrist with his index finger to the phantom beat. "I think I would have liked to be a professional pod racer, it was the only fun I really had growing up. If not, I would have gone into politics. Pushed to finally get slavery not only outlawed but actively prosecuted."

"Why not both? Politician by day, street racer by night. 'Senator Skywalker, voice of Tatooine and king of the track' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Val replied, only half-joking.

Anakin laughed fully, as though this game of what-if could never be more than just that — a game. Like his life had been all but decided for him long before he was born, like he would never have a say in it. Val's heart sank at how little choice he'd had in his life, how little control either of them had over their destiny and where that destiny left them.

"What about you?" Anakin asked, drawing Val out of her thoughts. "What if you weren't a pirate or a Jedi?"

The answer came immediately, and her face flushed pink at the thought. "You cannot laugh at me."

"You know I can't promise you that, what if it's really funny?"

She squeezed his hand tightly, "Anakin!"

"Fine, fine." He laughed, adjusting his hand to thread their fingers together. "Jedi's honour, I promise I won't make fun of you."

Val rolled her eyes but sighed, reaching up with her free hand to fidget with her padawan braid. "When I was a youngling, my friend and I would sometimes sneak out of the Créche to attend performances down on the street. There were always these elaborate puppets and magic tricks, fireworks and such, but the ones I loved most were the dancers."

She spun Anakin tales of a lovely theatre troupe, a company of elegant Twi'lek women clothed in flowing gowns and sashes, adorned with jewels and gems. Despite their finery, they were always barefooted, dancing against the cold earth like they were part of it — as though they were spirits of nature, coming to the desolate metal world to show them what they were missing, to show Valerie what lay beyond the lifeless golden walls of the temple.

She would watch them dance for hours, never blinking and barely breathing. She had felt a calling like no other when she beheld them, utterly entranced, moving and spinning, linking arms and laughing as their lekku whirled around them. They reminded her of water sprites, the denizens of her homeworld — the small ethereal creatures could always be found near the ocean, splashing and chittered with voices like chiming bells, squealing with delight when their young human friend came to play with them again.

Seeing those dancers, free like water... it was the only time she had felt that the path of a Jedi was not for her.

Once, she had planned to run away with that troupe. It was late in her youngling years, almost twelve cycles to the day; barely a week later, she was to be initiated as Master Alden's padawan. The choice that lay before her had to be made quickly, urgently, for her time with them was at an end. The council turned a blind eye to her youngling antics, but a padawan would be afforded no such leniencies — besides, Master Alden was constantly off-world, traversing the galaxy to fulfill his Jedi Shadow duties, and as his learner, she would accompany him.

She had gone down to the streets of Coruscant without her friend, her heart set on joining the jovial ranks of the dancers, intent on blending into their lights and colours and leaving Coruscant's smoked haze far behind. She wanted so desperately to be like them, to be freedom and promise and life. But when she had been making her way onto their transport, one of the dancer's had caught her.

She was devastatingly beautiful, her skin a deep purple and her eyes an azure blue. She approached Valerie with a kind demeanour, first seeing her rucksack filled with her belongings, and then seeing her newly constructed lightsaber attached at her hip — despite how obvious the weapon was, the young Jedi couldn't bring herself to leave it behind. The Twi'lek woman's eyes lit up instantly, a wide smile on her face as she pushed up the sleeves of her sheer gown and showed Valerie her wrists. Faint scarring lined her wrists in two circumferences, remnants of the chains that had once been locked around them.

Kor jedi fere'd jun zen'ka. Kor jedi fere'd jun zen'ka. Kor jedi fere'd jun zen'ka.

She had repeated it over and over again, excitement in her eyes. Valerie's heart had shattered when the woman realised they couldn't understand each other. The Twi'lek woman sighed sadly, but continued to smile gratefully as she tapped Valerie's chest three times.

"Thank you, eyan bou." She said in broken Basic, her voice thick with a Rylothian accent, before returning to the festivities with a wink.

Val's young mind had been consumed by the woman's words, to the point where her mission to escape with the troupe was forgotten as she rushed back to the Temple and made straight for the library. Despite it being well after hours, Madame Jocasta Nu allowed her in with little more than an exasperated sigh. Knowledge does not wait for dawn, she would often say as she directed Valerie towards the aisles that held the answers to her latest queries.

Amid the language section, Valerie found the passages she was seeking. Phonetically, she imputed the Twi'lek woman's words into a galactic translator as best she could, tweaking them slightly to fit the scaffolding of the language.

The Jedi freed my family. Thank you, young one.

Valerie had been overcome with emotion once she'd understood the words, sobbing in the quiet corners of the ancient library for what felt like hours. She knew it had been the Force that guided her to those dancers, the Force that blessed her with such a love for their light and life, their movements like water and music — so that when the day came that her resolve with the Jedi was tested, she would know what it was all for.

The Jedi freed my family. Thank you, young one.

Valerie had stayed up in the library for the entirety of the night with Madame Jocasta at her side, beginning to teach herself Twi'leki in the hopes that she and that woman would one day meet again — and then Valerie, older and wiser and fluent in her tongue, could recount more tales of honour and sacrifices, of the lives she had saved because the dancer had convinced her to stay. A week later, she was formally recognised as the padawan of Master Alden. And Valerie never wanted to leave again.

She hadn't thought of that troupe in years, but the love of dancing had stayed with her always.

Val sat quietly, staring blankly ahead with her padawan braid clutched in her hand. The braiding had become loose and frayed, but she hadn't brought herself to redo it yet — during her time with Rolfe, whenever the braid unravelled she would remake it in the dark with her eyes closed, like she had done during her initiation ceremony. That way, she could pretend it was her Master's original braid, preserved after all these years.

Anakin's head turned towards her, watching as her fingers pressed into the strands of hair and separated them more. He glanced down with uncertainty, his heart flitting like a restless bird in his chest, before speaking quietly.

"Would you like me to rebraid that for you?"

Val was silent for a long moment, her knuckles white as she clamped the braid firmly. Eventually, she nodded. They each turned inward towards each other, their faces separated only by the bars of the cell. Val reluctantly relinquished her grip on the braid, her hand falling to her lap as Anakin's gentle fingers parted the hair.

Val's eyes fluttered closed, continuing the silent tradition she had with herself. Anakin made slow work of combing through the few knots and remaking the braid, as though his hands savoured being so close to her heart. Val could feel his breath on her face as he leant forward to reach her, the heat from his body that radiated towards her like sunbeams, the feather-soft touch of his fingertips as they brushed her collarbone.

"You would have been a wonderful dancer."

She could stay in this moment forever.

Val opened her eyes, meeting his own blue irises that were right before her. There was a gentle silence enveloping them, a quiet intimacy that existed only for them, only within them. His hand flattened against her sternum as he tied off the braid, his fingers splaying across the side of her neck and his thumb resting in the hollow of her throat.

She could drown in him forever.

"You would have been an amazing racer." She smiled softly, watching as his eyes caught on the movement, holding there for a long moment before he met her gaze again — light reflected off his sky-bright eyes, giving the illusion that they were glowing. "We could go see a race together?"

"I'd like that. I'd like that very much." His lips parted as he spoke and Val's eyes flickered down to them before hurriedly moving back up, her ears tinting pink from embarrassment.

His mouth tilted in a lopsided smile, about to mercilessly tease her, before falling slightly open again as they both realised the situation they were in.

"Val," Anakin breathed, moving forward. No logic or reason entered her thoughts, no sensibility had a hold on her mind, as Val found herself blinding leaning forward to meet him.

A throat cleared and the two flinched backward.

Cai stood beyond the cell bars, his hands tucked into his pockets and an almost remorseful expression on his face at having interrupted their moment — as though he knew the message he carried would mar this memory forever.

"The boss has requested your presence." Cai said, likely switching out 'demanded' with 'requested' so his words appeared less threatening. The attempt didn't reassure Val as much as he hoped.

Val and Anakin exchanged a worried glance, both equally apprehensive about what the smuggler could want — though Anakin's apprehension was tinged more in fear for her safety, for whatever torment lay beyond these barred walls. The last time she'd left him, she came back bleeding and broken. He didn't want to think about what might happen to her if he wasn't there.

As Val rose to follow Cai, Anakin quickly caught her hand — he didn't care what the blonde boy thought or saw, he only cared for her. Val looked back to him with a sad smile, instantly knowing where his mind had gone.

She squeezed his hand tightly before letting it fall, "I'll be fine."

He didn't believe her, and she didn't believe herself.

Val disappeared with Cai around the corner, back into the semi-familiar walls of the compound. She noted that, strangely, he made no move to restrain her as they hurried through the halls. Suddenly, he grabbed her arm and made a sharp turn down a corridor she didn't remember, stopping before a closed door.

"We're here."

Val looked around the deserted halls, then to the door before her. "Where is here?"

Cai clicked his tongue, a barely suppressed irritant on his face — but when his eyes met hers again, she knew the annoyance wasn't directed at her. It was directed at whatever lay beyond the steel door.

"The Boss is having dinner and he's ordered you to join him. Your attire is in there." Cai explained, indicating the room with a distasteful nod.

"Why?" Val looked at him confusedly, "I don't understand what he's trying to do."

"Neither do I," He replied, his eyes skirting down the halls suspiciously. "But I know you need to be careful."

"Cai, what you said before, outside the cells," Val said, grasping the sleeve of his jacket. His eyes turned to her, softening as he recalled their conversation. "I wanted to tell you then, you're not a monster. And you're not limited to what you were forced to become."

Val repeated her Jedi's words, desperately hoping that she could save someone else the way Anakin had been saving her. Cai stared at her, his mouth agape in barely concealed shock, before he cleared his throat and quickly turned his back to her. Val heard him sniff, before he breathed deeply and stepped away.

Val turned and placed a hand to the doorknob, dread turning in her stomach at whatever she would find inside.

"I don't think he ever really thought he'd catch you." Cai said quietly, and Val angled her head to face his back. "So now that he has, I don't know what he's going to do. Or what he's capable of doing."

Cai's head turned slightly, and Val caught a glimpse of his eyes. "Please, be careful."

Val nodded after a moment, and stepped into the room.

Soft yellow light flickered into the room from the overhead fixtures, the artificial sun warming Val's broken skin. The space was bare, unfurnished except for a single chair with a covered box on it and a mirror leaned against the far wall. Draped along the back of the chair was a slate grey bag, a hanger protruding from the top that denoted what lay inside.

Val grasped the hanger and lifted it high, unzipping the covering and letting it fall to the ground. Inside lay a floor-length dress the colour of a restless ocean, the same shade as the coat around her shoulders — almost. The bodice and upper skirt resembled the sea she held so dear, but the shade was starkly contrasted with the deep red that stretched up from the hem. The fade was poorly done and jarring, giving the illusion that the blue had been stained red with blood — she wondered if that had been the intent.

Val sighed, running her hand down the soft fabric and taking a moment to pretend she wasn't a prisoner in a smuggler's compound and this dress wasn't a death sentence. To pretend that she was just a normal girl, getting dressed for a dance with the boy she...

What was she going to do in that cell?

Val wasn't sure herself; she hadn't been thinking, breathing, caring. All she knew was that he was leaning towards her and she was leaning in too. She knew what it would have led to, and she couldn't lie and say that she wasn't slightly peeved they had been interrupted.

She'd had a goal, a purpose to keep her focused and away from him — but each touch of his skin against hers slowly wore her down like a cliff against the endless assault of waves. She wasn't sure she could keep away from him any longer.

Val shook her head, laying the dress back down and taking the cover off the box. Inside, she found hygiene products and Val found herself sighing in relief. She quickly stripped her sodden clothes off, folding them neatly onto the arm of the chair before reaching for the wash cloths and other supplies. Even as a pirate, Val had never gone this long without a shower and, despite the fact that she didn't know what game this smuggler was playing, she was ridiculously overjoyed at seeing a bar of soap.

Val disinfected herself as best she could, scrubbing the dirt and grime and blood off until she felt like herself again — until she felt like a person again. She raked a brush through her hair, wincing when it caught in the knots but continuing on until she could comb through easily. Val gazed back into the box, finding various cosmetic products within and sneered distastefully — she didn't object to the practice itself, but she'd be damned if she altered how she looked for the likes of him.

And yet, she found herself slipping into the silk gown — if only because she'd like to wear something clean for a change; but she had to admit, the dress was stunning. She just wished it didn't feel like a trap.

Looking at herself in the mirror, Val felt like a stranger in her own body — like the mirror showed another world, one where she had grown up with her family on Alderaan instead of living through all the other atrocities that had befallen her, and only her scarred skin proved this reality was real.

Val forewent the silver stilettos by the foot of the chair, choosing to keep her firm-footed boots on beneath her gown. The passing thought to use the heels as makeshift knives crossed her mind, but she shook the notion away — she would have nowhere to conceal them, and in a fight, they were unlikely to fatally wound anything.

A sharp knock on the other side of the door sounded before it was inched open.

"Are you ready?" Cai said through the crack.

Val breathed deeply, her eyes roaming the empty space as she steeled the fear in her veins. She nodded to herself, before answering him. Cai pushed the door fully open, his expression blanking as he beheld her. A long moment passed before he cleared his throat, a smirk plastered on his face. "Your Jedi will be jealous he doesn't get to see you like this."

Val found herself mindlessly grinning as Anakin came to mind, as she imagined the startled smile that would consume his features when he saw her. She imagined he would try to tease her to cover up his shock, but that would slowly fade to unabashed affection — he would take her hand like he had a thousand times before and would do a thousand times again, placing it on his shoulder whilst his arm went to her waist.

He would hold her gently, reverently. His head in the crook of her neck while her hands threaded into his soft hair, wound together so intrinsically that it was unclear where he ended and she began. There was mercury in her veins, killing her softly with starlight so bright she had to shield her eyes — the light was him, it was always him. In her dreams, there was Anakin and there was her, and they would always be together.

In her dreams, he never let her go.

"Val?"

Cai startled her out of her thoughts, bringing her back to the cold reality that was all she knew. She met his eyes, and he smiled at her sadly. "Best not to keep him waiting."

Val nodded, following Cai beyond the room and back down the corridor. The path they took changed again, and now Val couldn't remember the way back to the cells for the life of her. Cai was quiet beside her as they continued on, his silence felt almost like reverence for the dead — or the soon to be deceased, at least.

Val had never quite acquainted herself with the reality of her own death, even though she had been faced with the prospect many times over the years. But this time was different, this time might prove fatal. She always had contingencies, always had a failsafe, a way out, but now she was alone — isolated and unarmed.

Cai was the dutiful soldier yet again as they came upon sealed double doors, his previous concern for her safety disappearing beneath layers of deception and destruction. He spared her one last glance, a silent lament for the damned, as he pushed the doors open and stepped away. Val had barely ventured beyond the threshold before they were sealed behind her once more.

The room before her was large and spacious, isolated except for another set of doors that lay to the far left and opened onto a well-lit hallway. That seemed to be the only other way out. The lights embedded in the ceiling were a soft yellow, reminiscent of the sun's light rather than the jarring white of the hallway fixtures. Val's eyes roamed the room, purposely directing her attention anywhere but the dining table situated in the centre.

"I see the dress was to your liking." He spoke, and Val could avoid it no longer.

Her gaze swept back to the middle of the room, to the lone dining table and the two chairs — one empty, and one occupied by the smuggling kingpin Val had left for dead. The Zygerrian man, Val didn't even know his name, sat looking at her with a cold contemplation — neither smug nor impatient, he merely watched as she gathered her bearings; like he knew she was searching for a way out and could find none.

"It's lovely. I only wish it could have been my choice." Val snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Ah, but we so rarely get what we want." He replied cryptically, watched her from behind hooded eyes as he took a long drink from his glass.

A long moment of silence passed as their eyes remained locked, before he indicated the seat across from him and she was forced to comply. Val slid wordlessly into the chair, surveying the assortment of dishes before her. Many she didn't recognise, likely delicacies of his homeworld, and others she recognised but knew from experience to steer clear of.

The man watched her, the corners of his mouth upturned. "None of it is poisoned."

Val blinked — the thought hadn't even crossed her mind. As if to prove his point, he pulled one of the plates of colo claw fish towards him and took a bite. She had been distracted by the sudden realisation that she hadn't eaten in three days, and the fatigue she felt in her bones was a by-product. Which meant Anakin was likely starving as well, she would have to find a way to get some food back to him.

Val glanced around, before settling for the safe choice of meiloorun fruit. She took a tentative bite, then a larger one once the first had settled. Val was used to this searing hunger, and knew to give the food time to sit before she tried to quell that ache — she had learnt the hard way that days without food had consequences.

He watched her eat with a slight satisfaction, his eyes following the fruit pieces as they snagged on her lips. An unease, different to the discomfort of before, hung over her shoulders as she gazed down at the table cloth and swallowed the last lump; she felt it fall into her stomach like cement, weighing her down.

A hand entered her field of vision and she pushed back abruptly, her chair skidding slightly away from the table due to the sudden movement. "What are you doing?"

He retracted his mechanical hand, giving her an amused smile. "There is juice on your cheek."

Val huffed, scrubbed at the side of her mouth with the back of her hand. Her hands came away sticky, like she had dipped them in blood. "I can get it myself, thank you very much."

She moved her chair forward again after a moment, cautiously taking a bite of a dish she didn't recognise. She was biding time to come up with a method of approach; despite the dregs of her past resurfacing like corpses in the water, they still had a mission to complete.

"You want to ask me something." Val looked up sharply, meeting his eyes with a veiled panic. He stared levelly at her, never revealing anything. "I can see it in your eyes."

Val stared sceptically, but cleared her throat regardless. "The child from Lothal. Why did you want her?"

The Zygerrian shrugged, "Fulfilling an order for a client."

"So she wasn't..." Val paused, the words burning in her throat like acid. "For your business?"

"Does my profession make you uncomfortable, Seaflyer?" He asked with a sabred smirk.

Val squared her shoulders, ire in her eyes. "You make me uncomfortable. You and every being like you. If I could, I'd find a way to put every trafficker and every slaver in the galaxy in the ground."

"Like you failed to do to me?"

Val narrowed her eyes. "I didn't try to kill you that day. Trust me, if I had, you would be dead. What I tried to do was give you a second chance, and you squandered it. I won't make that mistake again."

"You speak so hatefully of me and my kind, yet I see no judgement of your own dark past. Does the Jedi below know what you've done, the horror you've wrought, the lives you've destroyed?"

"I am nothing like you. And yes, he knows. He knows it all. But unlike you, I tried to be better. I tried to make amends, to show mercy. You're still the same monster you were three years ago." Val seethed, anger burning beneath her ribs as she stood with her hands flat on the tabletop. It was the truth, Anakin knew what she was — somehow, he stayed, and had forgiven it all.

He swirled the goblet around before him, barely glancing her way. "Mercy comes in many forms. You assume this is the worst I could be."

"I've seen your worst. I've seen it in the faces of the innocents I saved from your ships, and I saw the ghost of it in the ones I couldn't save. You are a monster, and there will be no mercy this time."

"You speak so callously for someone who has never experienced it." He interrupted her, standing to his full height and towering over her — Val suddenly wished she'd worn the stilettos, a makeshift blade was better than none at all. "Perhaps you would like to."

Val's blood froze in her veins as he spoke the last words so quietly, almost tenderly. He stepped around the table, walking towards her with silent, surefooted steps. Val inched backwards, fear creeping into her blood, but there was nowhere to go. He traced a blade-edged nail against her bruised cheek, a thin line of blood blooming beneath the invisible line.

"I could make you a slave, sell you on the black market. I have many friends on my home world of Zygerria who would pay handsomely for a specimen of your visage." He said softly, gently — a disarming dichotomy between the words he spoke and the way in which he said them. She wondered how many had been tricked by this faux kindness.

In an abject moment of courage, or perhaps all-encompassing stupidity, the fear evaporated — leaving only a cold vengeance in its place.

"When I gut you this time," Val replied, equally soft. "I'll make sure you stay dead."

The humour left his eyes in an instant, and he stepped away from her coldly. He clasped his hands behind his back, sparing a glance to the open-doored corridor behind them before turning back to face her. "Come. I have something to show you."

He started down the hall without so much as a backwards glance at her, assuming she would follow. Val glanced around unsuredly, realising she had no choice but to go after him. The corridor was chilled compared to the dining compartment, and Val hugged her arms as they made a short trek to another set of doors — Val could hear rampant cheering beyond the steel frame, and her anxiety only heightened.

The man pushed them open with a powerful motion, and inside she found scores of intoxicated smugglers crowded around an incredibly large roped-off circle that was situated in the centre of the room. The area was actually a pit that spanned several meters downward, and inside Val found two bipedal creatures viscously battling each other — she realised with a start, that it was like the arena on the Reaper. It was a sport.

Val found herself unconsciously moving forward to the front of the crowd, her hand grasping the chain that was all that prevented her from falling into the chasm. One of the creatures emerged victorious and the crowd suddenly went up in cheers. Val watched as the victor was led off, probably to receive some edible reward for winning, whilst the loser was dragged away carelessly.

A tense hush fell over the crowd as the walls of the arena rotated to open onto two new sets of doors, ruckus applause breaking out as those doors were heaved open and two raging horned creatures thundered out. Val watched, transfixed, as the two creatures circled but didn't attack one another — almost as though they were aware the other was not their target.

"Do you know what those are?" The smuggler asked from behind her, his hands settling onto her shoulders.

Val nodded absently, enraptured by the creatures in the pit. "Mudhorns."

"And do you know which planet they're native to?"

Val paused, racking her brain for the answer but none came. "No."

"Their homeworld is Arvala-7." The man leaned forward and Val felt a cold dread settle over her — she felt as though she should know the significance of that world, but there was a strange heaviness to her thoughts that she couldn't shake. The man gestured down to the restless creatures. "These particular creatures were my first acquisition as a smuggler, but I've held onto them for a long while now. Waiting for this day."

"Why?" Val whispered, watching as the larger of the two stomped on the ground and the earth splintered.

He leant in closer, his breath hot on her cheek. "Because these two tried to kill me after you and your Captain left me for dead on Arvala."

Hands collided roughly with her back and Val went tumbling forward over the railing. She fell, entirely weightless for a moment, before her back hit the ground — her mechanical spine shrieked from the collision. She groaned painfully, her eyes meeting the Zygerrian who was far above her now.

"I survived them," He called down with a sadistic smirk. "Let's see if you do."

author's note:

real quick, this opening is my favourite valakin scene thus far so i hope you liked it !! think of it as an apology for that cliffhanger :)

ANYWAY this is my pre-emptive celebreation of 11k so thank you sm guys, i love you to the ends of the earth 🥺🥺

the next chapter is a LOT so have fun with that when i finally publish it lmao, until then tell me your thoughts please!! i really like this chapter, i think its a really good look into val's view of herself and her growing feelings for anakin

until next time my loves!