In which Tubbo questions himself and other people.

      Or, the beginning of a timid boy's character development.

"Is he alright?"

"No, stupid. Would you be alright if you betrayed your best friend?"

"Well, he only did that because Schlatt's scary. I don't like Schlatt."

" SHHH, he might hear you!"

"But Schlatt makes us feel good! Schlatt said we were smart."

"I miss Tommy. Why can't we have Tommy back?"

Tubbo let the voices in his head run rampant, letting the imaginary voices keep him company and distract him from what he was doing.

He flinched as another block of the wall crumbled under his pickaxe. He started on another block. He knew Schlatt would come along soon and reprimand him for not going faster, but every block he broke brought him physical pain.

"Why aren't you working?"

Tubbo tensed when he heard Schlatt's voice on his far right. In the corner of his eye, he saw Niki stand up angrily, her pickaxe lying uselessly on the grass. She barely came up to Schlatt's chest, but she glared at him with steel in her eyes.

"This isn't right, Schlatt. Men worked for hours on these walls to keep L'Manburg safe. You're tearing down history-"

"I'm going to stop you right there, Niki." Jschlatt's big hand covered her mouth. She glared at him with disgust, pushing it away.

"That's Ms. Nihachu to you." She clenched her fists, standing up straighter.

"Well, Ms. Nihachu." Schlatt put his hands on his knees, leaning down like he was talking to a child. "Your boyfriend is no longer the president of this country, so you have no say in what I do or what I don't do. So be a good little girl and listen to the rules."

Niki's eyes flared as she refused to move. Schlatt tilted his head in amusement. "Maybe I can offer a little present to persuade you. Perhaps a new fox? A little Fungi?"

"I'm not a pretty little princess." Tubbo had never heard Niki raise her voice before. She pushed Schlatt away forcefully. "And the only present I want is for this tyranny to end and Wilbur Soot and Tommyinnit be returned to their rightful place in L'Manburg."

Schlatt sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. "Or perhaps you would be persuaded if I rose the taxes on your bakery, hmm? It would truly be a shame if the little place was suddenly...... gone."

He imitated a poof with his hand, grinning. Niki was nearly trembling with rage, opening her mouth to yell at him again. Suddenly, HBomb grabbed her wrist, fear in his eyes.

"Niki, it's not worth it." H whispered softly, tugging her wrist. Even his little dog, Link, stared up at her with pleading eyes. She stared at him in shock.

"H, you don't understand how important these walls are-"

"Niki, it's just not worth it, ok? Let's-let's just go."

Schlatt grinned cruelly as Niki lowered her head, letting H pull her away. Link growled at Schlatt quietly before following after them.

"That's not right. He shouldn't be talking to Niki like that."

"If Wilbur was here, he would've ripped Schlatt to shreds."

"Yet another thing we can add to the court case, lads."

"TUBBO!"

Tubbo jumped in fright, his pickaxe flying out of his hand. He straightened his back, pulling his arm into a ramrod salute.

"Y-yes, sir!"

"Remind me to raise Ms. Nihachu's taxes by tenfold. This type of behavior must be punished."

"Y-yes, sir..." Tubbo looked down in shame, keeping silent as the voices erupted again.

"That's not right! Niki didn't do anything!"

"Why is your voice shaking? You need to be more confident. You need to stand up for us!"

"I don't like Schlatt...."

"Maybe if we listen to him, he will be nice again! We've just disappointed him, that's why he's being mean-"

"And Tubbo-"

Tubbo's head whipped up quickly. "Y-yes, Mr. President?"

"Come with me for a second. I have a job for you."

Tubbo nodded quickly, dread settling into his stomach. He grabbed his pickaxe from the soft grass, cradling it in his arms as he shuffled after Schlatt.

They passed through a tear in the wall, emerging on the outside. Eret and Quackity stood on the other side, arguing. Eret turned to Schlatt, clearly angry.

"Schlatt, this is unacceptable! Do you know how long these walls took to build!"

"Eret- we're going to rebuild them, we're doing the right thing-"

"You don't get to talk." Eret glared at Quackity, making him shrink away in shame. Schlatt did nothing to defend him.

"Oh-" Schlatt paused, squinting at Eret. "What was your name again?"

"Name's Eret." He adjusted his dark sunglasses, crossing his arms. " King of the Dream SMP."

"Ohhhh, the traitor! The one that betrayed L'Manburg to become the ruler of a nation that has fallen from power. The one who keeps trying to crawl over here like a lost puppy to beg for forgiveness." Jschlatt grinned at the flush of embarrassment on Eret's face. "That king."

Eret looked down, not denying Schlatt's accusations. He knew they were true.

"He deserves it. He betrayed us!"

"I feel sorry for him...."

"At least he hates Schlatt. He has some morals."

"We are not feeling sorry for him! We swore to never forgive him."

"But he can help us!"

"Well, King, we are no longer going to be restrained by walls and boundaries. We are starting a new era, whether you like it or not."

"Schlatt, if you do this, you're lining up for a second war." Eret clenched his fists at his sides.

Schlatt simply laughed, a cruel cackle. "Maybe I am, Eret."

"Maybe I am."

"He's gone nuts!"

"He's gone absolute bonkers!"

"Do something Tubbo, do something!"

"Tubbo, you would do anything for me, right?"

Tubbo head whipped up to look at Schlatt, who was standing in front of a row of signs dotted along the remains of the wall. A memory of Tommy scrawling on those same signs flashed through his mind.

"Schlatt those signs have been there ever since the war was threatened-" Eret took a step towards them, but was held back by Quackity.

"'If you break these walls, you don't care about Patches.'" JSchlatt read the signs in amusement, bursting into laughter. "Did you guys really think these would keep the enemy out?"

Tubbo remembered Tommy scrawling out quick letters on the signs, his letters spiraling messily. He turned back to Tubbo, grinning.

"Our walls are safe, my friend!"

Tubbo had laughed at him but went along with it anyway. Every day they would pass by that sign, dragging their fingers on it for "luck."

Tubbo could use some luck right now.

"Tubbo, come here."

Tubbo stepped timidly towards JSchlatt, keeping his head down. He could feel Schlatt's looming presence, almost a darkness, step over to him. He placed a cold hand on his shoulder.

"Tubbo, you know you're my right-hand man, right?"

"Yes, Schlatt." Tubbo could feel a sick feeling settle into his stomach.

"Only Tommy can call us that-"

"I don't like it when he calls us that- it's not like Tommy-"

"But this is his way to be nice! It's an honor!"

"And you would do anything I request, right?"

"Y-yes, Schlatt." Tubbo clenched and unclenched his fists nervously. He knew what was coming.

"Tubbo."

"Yes, Schlatt."

Tubbo's voice had turned into a defeated monotone, his brown hair falling into his eyes. He felt like he was about to cry.

"See to it that these signs are removed."

"DON'T DO IT TUBBO!" Eret struggled under Quackity's grip.

Voices erupted in the background as Tubbo's hands shook as he held his pickaxe, looking down at Tommy's messy handwriting on the rough wooden signs.

"Don't do it!"

"If you won't find Wilbur Soot and Tommyinnit, you might as well make yourself useful."

"TUBBO NO!"

"You need to stand up for us!"

I'm scared....

"You're my right-hand man, right?"

"Maybe- maybe he'll like us if we do it. Maybe he won't shout at us as much-"

"If we do this, we're betraying L'Manburg. We're betraying Tommy!"

"DON'T DO IT TUBBO!"

"Why can't you speak? Why can't you just say no?"

I'M SCARED!

CRACK

Tubbo breathed heavily, splinters of the wooden sign askew on the grass. His pickaxe lay in the middle of the broken sign, warping Tommy's letters he had written so long ago.

"Tubbo-" Eret's voice was filled with disbelief and disappointment. Even the voices were silent, ashamed of what he had done. Tubbo could feel hot, stinging tears come to his eyes. He dropped the pickaxe and marched away.

Eret stared at his retreating figure, frozen in disbelief. Schlatt clapped his hands, a smirk coming to his lips.

"Hey, let's keep tearing down these walls, people! C'mon, we don't have all day!"

---

Tubbo stumbled into the caravan, swinging the broken door shut behind him loudly.

And then he burst into tears.

He held on to the mismatched wall, feeling the cold dirt crumble beneath his fingertips as he sobbed. The 3 figures stood in the corner, silent, offering no comfort. He was all by himself as he coughed and hiccuped, his heart feeling like it was leaking black ink.

"The w-walls are gone...."

His voice cracked sadly, filled with devastation. He lifted his head up, looking around at the old hot dog van with blurry eyes. It had changed so much, the walls knocked out during the war and now replaced with mismatched dirt and cobblestone blocks. It was barely held up by the original floor, the only thing really left.

For a second, Tubbo could see the faces of his friends, smiling around the central table. Wilbur's arm was slung around Fundy's shoulder, laughing as Tommy tried to chug down as many strength potions as he could handle.

"Look, this is-" Tubbo smiled sadly, tears leaking out of his eyes. "This is the table we stood around in the revolution when things looked the most dire."

He could almost see Wilbur's figure slouched against the side of the wall. He remembered Tommy shaking his arm.

"And then- and then Wilbur asked us for any supplies we had-"

Tubbo remembered Wilbur's black beanie flopping on his head as he stared at them with tired eyes. Fundy held on to his arm sadly.

"And- and I said I had nothing, and Fundy said he had nothing, we- we all had nothing."

Tubbo let out a choked half-sob, remembering Tommy's desperate attempts to lighten up the mood. He could feel his skinny arms hugging his chest.

"And then- and then we all walked outside to meet them.."

"Independence or death."

"Where they detonated TNT, right at the gate-"

"Stand back, guys, don't let this hurt you."

Wilbur's arms pushed him back, and then the explosives burst, making his ears ring.

"And we-we ran back to the lake-"

Tommy pulled him into the water, holding on to him, making sure that he wasn't hurt.

"And then we went down Tommy's contraption and went into the final room."

He remembered Tommy's rough hand nearly pulling his arm out of it's socket as he pulled him down the dark tunnel. He rested his head on Tommy's shoulder, trying to soak up as much warmth as he could.

And then Wilbur started singing, and he joined in, so full of hope. He remembered holding Tommy's hand in the darkness, a hopeful chorus filling the room.

Tears dropped from his face in the present, falling onto the palms of his hands.

"I-I miss them."

He missed Tommy, he missed Wilbur, he missed his friends. He missed friendly voices, and kind words, and hugs. Oh gosh, he missed hugs.

I'm talking to myself again, aren't I?

"Tubbo!"

Tubbo jumped up again, feeling himself tense. Schlatt's cruel voice sneaked its way into the van.

"What are you doing in there?"

"N-nothing, sir." Schlatt stood in the doorway, looking around at the dirt walls with a faint distaste. Tubbo stared intently at the ground, trying to desperately wipe away the tears running down his face.

"This is no time for being sentimental, Tubbo. Why aren't you working?"

"I-I just-"

"You've been so useless to us so far. Refusing to find Tommyinnit, not tearing down the walls..." JSchlatt tutted, wrinkling his nose in disgust as he inspected a worn-down brewing stand on a table.

"We really need to tear down this- what even is this? A meth lab?" He laughed at his own joke, flicking another potion bottle. "It's an eyesore."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

Tubbo looked up at him, fire in his dark brown eyes. He clenched his fists tightly.

"I SAID NO!"

Suddenly, a blaring pain erupted on his cheek, caused by Schlatt's hand. He held his stinging cheek, biting back tears. Schlatt glared at him angrily.

"You little brat ."

Schlatt's eyes were almost red with rage, giving him a crazed look. Tubbo thought Dream had looked like a crazy person, but Schlatt looked like a maniac.

"You whiney little-"

Schlatt closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as if to calm himself. He sighed, his voice filling with cold danger, causing chills to run down Tubbo's spine.

"We'll leave the meth lab. But if you don't help with what we're doing here, and if I hear another peep from you- and that little annoying voice of yours isn't singing praises, we're going to have a conversation." Schlatt towered over him, eyes flashing red again. "Do you understand?"

"Y-yes Schlatt."

"And change your clothes. That old uniform stinks."

Tubbo tried to suppress his smile as JSchlatt marched out of the small van angrily. His cheek still stung from Schlatt's hard hand, but he grinned nonetheless.

I did it. I said no. I saved the van. I am not weak.

He quieted the imaginary voices in his head, shoving them aside like old dolls. They were doing him more harm than good, talking to himself. Tubbo breathed in, forming his hand into a fist as he looked at it.

Maybe I am strong.

And even if I'm not,

I can pretend to be.

Make-believe.