☁︎

S t i l e s

I was really bored, Scott and Allison had gone back to school, as well as Lydia. I just kinda sat there messing with my fingers. Lydia left me some books to read, I aimlessly pick one up and start reading.

'The perks of being a wall flower.' I pull an awkward face at the name and think it's a book about flowers or plants or something like that. I hesitate but open the book.

A couple hours later and I'm half way through the book and I'm in love, it's so good. I put the book on the night stand next to my bed and sit up. I stretch and walk to the bathroom to take a shower.

I take off the hospital gown and sweatpants and turn on the water. I stepped into the tepid water wiping my face and drenching my whole body in water. I use a small amount of soap for my hair and body, once I've done I get out and wrap a towel around my waist.

Putting on the clothes I was wearing before I head back to the hospital bed and sit down. I kept wondering where Lydia was, she should be here by now.

Stiles picked up his book continuing reading, soon enough he is interrupted by Scott and Allison. "Hey guys." I smiled.

"Hey." They respond and sit down.

"Where's Lydia?" Scott asks.

"That's what I was thinking shouldn't she be here by now." I say and look at Allison who is sitting quietly.

"She's um... she's in isolation." Allison spoke quietly.

"What! Why?" I ask.

"For you. Stiles. For you attempted suicide." Allison admitted. My heart broke, my suicide was because of her, I was in here because of her, she was only coming in because she did this.

"Wait. She made me do this." I ask softly. Allison nodded. "So I'm in this hospital bed because of her." I was getting angrier. Allison nodded again.

"She and some of her friends bullied you constantly, they drove you to kill yourself." Allison truthfully said.

"Allison stop! I thought you were Lydia's friend and now your talking shit about her and telling Stiles in the worst possible way!" Scott was angry at her attitude.

"No Scott! I want to know why I'm lying in this hospital bed and why I can't remember most of my life, so thank you Allison for putting my mind at ease!" I shouted angry. I was so upset and betrayed at Lydia. I then looked to my arm to see her name, I showed it to them.

"I did this. I asked why her name was there and she said I hurt her and she hurt me. She never. Never! said I almost killed myself because of her." Scott and Allison sat there quietly.

I had never felt more rage ever in my life, she's a liar. "Stiles, she's sorry though, when she found out about you she tore herself apart. She didn't leave you bedside once." Scott said.

I looked at him "Are you seriously defending her!"

"Come on Stiles. The old you would've forgiven, the old you wouldn't act like this." Scott says.

"THE OLD ME SCOTT! ...is dead! Because of her." I spat at him. Our shouting calmed when a she entered the room. Lydia.

"Is everything okay in here?" Lydia asked as she walked in making all of us turn to her.

"Get out." I say.

"What?" Lydia asks confused.

"Get out!" I repeated.

"Stiles, What do you mean?" Lydia asks walking towards me.

"What do you mean! Well let's start with the fact that the reason I'm in here is because of you!" I spat; making Lydia grabbed my hand.

"Stiles please let me explain!" Lydia pleaded and I snatched my hand away from hers.

"How can you stand there knowing your the reason I'm in here, Your the reason I almost killed myself!" Stiles shouted causing Melissa to come into the room. "I can't believe you!" I spat. Lydia's eyes started tearing up, she let a few tears fall.

"Stiles you need to calm down." Melissa said approaching me and trying to restrain me gently.

"You know what Lydia. I wish you were dead! I admitted and there's was no going back. Lydia looked at me tears falling down her face.

"That's enough Stiles!" Melissa shouted causing everyone except Lydia to look at her. "I'm sorry Lydia, but I think you should go." Lydia nodded and started to walk out. She turned around and looked at me "You were right." She spoke softly and walked out.

Those words reminded me of something...

"You know what Lydia, I am better off dead." I stormed down the stairs and got to the door and what I said next there was no going back.

"You were right!"

☁︎

L y d i a

'I wish you were dead'

'I wish you were dead'

'I wish you were dead'

My subconscious kept repeating it to me. Remind you of anything Lydia. I think back to the night of the dance and what I had said to him. I ran out of the hospital and ran to my car. Once I got in I just stared out of the window, I felt numb.

I'm burning in hell, the hell of myself. I feel empty yet so full of emotion. What do you do when there's nothing but pain left inside of you. What do you do when there's no tears left to cry that you feel emotionally and physically drained.

I drove home not shedding anymore tears because there's isn't any tears left. Once I arrived home, I've totally forgotten my mom was back, I head inside only to be stopped by her.

"Lydia Camille Grace Martin!" My mother shouted causing me to stop and turn around. "What's this about isolation! And about you bullying another student and him almost killing himself!" My mother yelled.

"Mom, please not today." I said quietly.

"Lydia you have let me down before but this, this is despicable, how can you look at yourself everyday. And it's Stiles as well. Stiles Stilinski your best friend since the 3rd grade. You disgust me Lydia!" She spat and I didn't even care, I'd been hurt so much that nothing effected me anymore.

"Can I go now?" I asked.

"Lydia, you are unbelievable. You can go and live with your father!" This makes me look at her, tears filing up my eyes.

"no..." I barely crook out.

"Yes Lydia, you are moving with your father and his family down in San Francisco." She said firmly "You've got till the end of the week, and this is final Lydia!" I don't even react, this could be a new start for me, so I'm going to take it.

I head upstairs to my room to see some of my stuff in boxes, I crawl onto my bed and under the sheets still fully dressed. I looked to my night stand and see a picture of me and Stiles I pick it up, tracing my finger over him letting a few tears fall. "I'm so sorry Stiles. I love you, always."

I put the picture down and turn off my lamp, I lay down wiping away my tear. I pull the covers up to my neck and close my eyes, soon all my thoughts are being consumed by the tiredness and soon I'm asleep.

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V o t e  &
C o m m e n t
- my heart breaks more and more writing this book
em☁︎