(warning; self-harm)

☁︎

S t i l e s

It carried on. The pain. It wouldn't stop. So I carried on. Cutting and cutting. Small cuts on my other arm while I just kept tracing over her name.

Re-opening the wound that was desperately trying to heal. It took away the pain, or at least it stops the pain for a while. I've not spoken to anyone this past week.

I keep my head down low in class, the library at dinner, and full-on antisocial at weekends. In a total of 9 days I've eaten a few pieces of food, give or take on how hungry I am.

I just read, read and listen to music. My favorite band is 'The Smiths' the words are just inspiring and true. They speak the truth, plus their songs are really beautiful and have this deep meaning so I love listening to them while reading my book.

It's Sunday and I'm sat in the schools library, yes me. Stiles Stilinski sat in a library on a Sunday. But no one knows I'm here it's quiet and it's nice to get away for a while.

'I know it's over' rang through my headphones as I indulged in my book.

Even though the school is not open the library is which I find interesting. No one comes in on the weekend really, there's about 2 or 3 but mainly me.

It's raining outside and it's beautiful, the fresh air, damp trees. I finish reading the second book of the day and head back to one of the shelves to indulge in another.

The doors silently open to a strawberry blonde, she's wearing leggings and a hoodie her hair up in a messy bun. But what catches my attention is that's it's my hoodie.

She walks in, quickly smiling at the librarian and starts to walk up the stairs. I immediately hid and watched her as she searched for a book.

Once she had found a book she went to where I was sat and took a seat; putting on her glasses that always fell down her nose, she always looked so elegant.

Stop. Stiles. You need to get out of there now. I quietly made my way past her. I thought I had gotten away with it when she grabbed my arm making me wince because of my scar and I immediately snatch it away.

"Stiles? What's wrong with your arm?" She asked.

"Nothing, leave me alone." As I turned to walk away she shouted to me again.

"Stiles! Stiles, I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to say those things, I was just angry that you lied to me." She spoke truthfully.

"But that's the thing, Lydia." I stare at her with my black and red eyes. "You did mean it, and I wasn't lying, if you really ever loved me you would've believed me but it's okay, I don't care about your opinion anymore."

"Stiles, I do love you, but you can't keep lying." I was getting so angry and frustrated that she still didn't believe me.

"You know what Lydia, I'm tired. I really am, of everything."

I turn around to walk away while she started to shout my name again.

"You know what Lydia, I am better off dead." I stormed down the stairs and got to the door and what I said next there was no going back.

"You were right!"

And with that, I left.

☁︎

L y d i a

I don't know what to do anymore. He said he's not lying but I don't know if I can trust him, after everything.

All I do is cry, go to school, cry, cry myself to sleep, wake up, cry, go to school. He's put me through such pain and heartbreak.

All I wanted was peace but I guess I never really can escape him. Escape my thoughts; Escape my heart; Escape my feelings.

A single tear falls as I ran out and got into my car and screamed as loud as I could. I drove all the way home sobbing.

As soon as I got in a ran and slammed my door and cried and cried and cried and cried. The tears were endless, I could have filled a swimming pool with the amount of water my eyes were producing.

I screamed.

And I screamed.

And I screamed.

And I screamed.

I let it all go. All of it.

When I let it go I decided I couldn't do this anymore, I couldn't put myself through this pain. So I stood up, undressed got into the shower and washed away Stiles.

I got out refreshed, I cleaned my face from any ruined makeup and smiled. I went back into my room and gathered all of Stiles things, he had left, books, pictures, and his hoodie.

I smelt it one last time before putting it in a box and hiding it in the back of my closet. New Start. New Lydia.

I get out my outfit for school tomorrow, a short dress and some high heels. I then see the dress that Stiles got me I ripped it off the hanger and threw it in the box as well.

I grab my phone and text Aiden, the captain of the Lacrosse team.

L y d i a ;
Me and you, let's date.

A i d e n ;
Sure why not? See you, tomorrow babe ;)

L y d i a ;
Bye <3

And with that, I forgot the name that was Stiles Stilinski.

—————
V o t e &
C o m m e n t
- really excited for what's gonna happen in the next few chapters ;)
em☁︎