you sat in front of ushijima's mom nervously with your hands around a hot cup of (tea/coffee) to keep you awake. you willed your knees to stop shaking but it didn't do much good. finally, after minutes of awkward silence, you spoke up.

"you wanted to say something?" you asked her.

"i, uh, yes. sorry." she cleared her throat. "this will make me sound like a horrible person." she admitted. "and maybe i am. for not spending time with wakatoshi when i should have. for not being at home as often as i should have. for leaving him to raise himself while i was busy with work. but i still love my child, and i can't sit still knowing that the girl he's dating is the daughter of a psychopath who put him in critical condition in a hospital."

she was crying now, trying not to let her voice shake but tears were streaming down her cheeks.

you stood up to go put your arms around her and pulled her into a hug. "i'm probably the last person you want to touch right now, but this is all i can do to comfort you right now." you whispered softly and rubbed her back until you heard her breathing even out and until she stopped sniffling.

you pulled away and offered her a weak smile. "i figured you'd say something like that. but even if you bit your tongue, it would've been okay. i'm leaving miyagi anyway."

she looked surprised and a little confused. "but- why?"

"i can't stand being here either. it's the place my father tormented me and my brother. i don't have good memories associated with this place. and after my father did to wakatoshi, i couldn't possibly look him in the eyes and not feel guilt. my father did the stabbing but if i had been a little more careful this could've been stopped." you rambled. "i was going to stay until wakatoshi woke up, but it's probably better for me to leave now. because knowing him, he'll try to change my mind about it. and i'm weak when it comes to wakatoshi. but, at least let me say good bye to him."

ushijima's mother barely knew how to respond to you other than nod a little. you weren't surprised, if you were in her position, you wouldn't know how to react either. still, you flashed her a grateful smile and returned to ushijima's room where the nurse let you in one more time.

you mouthed a thank you to the nurse and slipped inside the room once more, and sat on his bedside, taking his hand in yours.

the fact that he was reliant on iv fluids at the moment made your heart ache.

this is my fault. if i had just called the cops instead of going there to try finish my father myself, wakatoshi would be okay right now.

the other side of your brain disagreed though.

when have those cops ever done anything right? they'd probably have let my father get away again.

still, it wasn't worth letting ushijima get hurt over. you squeezed his hand gently and wiped a tear away from your face. "wakatoshi, there isn't an easy way to say this." you began and sucked in a deep breath before continuing.

"first of all, thank you. thank you for being the only person who repeatedly stuck by me despite me pushing you away. thank you for always protecting me, for taking care of me and my safety over your own even though i wish you didn't. no one has ever cared for me this much apart from satori, satori's mom and my mom."

"thank you for loving me the way you did. for treating me so kindly. thank you for standing by me even after finding out my father was a psychopath. you really are an idiot who cares too much, but i think that's what i love about you the most."

"i love you, wakatoshi. i've never felt this strongly towards anyone in my whole life. you're the first person i've ever dared to have feelings for, the first person i kissed, the first person i dated. i wish i could have so many more firsts with you, but i can't. after all that's happened, i can't face you right now. i'm the reason you're here with needles stuck into you to keep you stable. i couldn't possibly face you when you wake up. so i'm sorry wakatoshi, but i'm taking the easy way out."

"i'm doing what i always do, im running away, i'm leaving miyagi, i'm leaving this hellhole and moving somewhere that's nothing like here. i've hates the majority of the time i spend here, youre the only one worth staying for but wakatoshi, when i look at you right now i feel nothing but guilt."

"i'm sorry that you're not awake when i say goodbye, but if you were, you'd try to stop me and knowing you, you might succeed. but wake up soon my love, your mother needs you. i need you. even if i won't see you again, i need to know that you're alive and well. so you better wake up and live well wakatoshi. i shouldn't ask for any favours of you, i don't have any right. but all i wnat is for you to be happy my love, so hang in there." you stood up and pressed your lips against his forehead before stepping away.

you felt a tug at your arm and you looked back to see ushijima's face contorted in pain, but he was moving slightly. you called in a nurse and she informed the doctor, and soon, ushijima was on three different types of painkillers to help him relax. he managed to peel his eyes open shortly, but all he saw was you mouthing an 'i'm sorry' before exiting his room.

that was the last thing he remembered before the drowsiness of the painkillers took over and his eyes shut once again.

~•~

several days passed like this, with ushijima waking up groaning in pain and having to take a few painkillers to cope but eventually he was able to bear with the pain without the help of painkillers. that's when ushijima started being awake for longer.

everytime the door opened, he'd pray to see you or tendo one more time, but neither of you ever showed up, instead it was a doctor or nurse doing checkups on him. he knew it wasn't possible, despite being unconscious he still heard every word you said. you had left miyagi, and his best friend had left the earth.

ushijima had never felt more alone in his life, and when he was finally left alone after the nightly rounds of doctors and nurses bustling in and out of his room, ushijima broke down sobbing.

not the silent tear rolling down the cheek, ushijima was facing the biggest loss of his life when he was only 18 years old. ushijima couldn't control his cries, his whole body shook violently and he clutched at his chest and gasped for air. it was the type of crying that made him ache all over, the type where his throat was dry but the tears didn't stop. the type where his whole body was overflowing with sadness and couldn't stop trembling.

ushijima hadn't ever feared losing before. he'd always had confidence that he would win. but more importantly, he knew he had people to turn to it he ever lost. those people being; you and tendo.

but ushijima never expected to lose both of them in the span of a few days. for ushijima, it was like having everything he'd ever known be ripped out of his life and having to restart. what was he to do when the two most important people in his life left him behind?

ushijima could barely accept tendo's death, now he had to deal with your disappearance while he was recovering from a stab wound and a head injury.

his turmoil and excessive crying led to utter exhaustion and ushijima lay back down, having calmed down from his breakdown even if only a little.

but even before he fell asleep, his last thoughts drifted to you.

'(f/n).'

'i thought you said i could stay next to you.'

ushijima knew not all stories had fairytale happy endings. he was aware that sad stories existed and were common.
he simply never expected to have his story end in a tragedy.

The End

~•~

~•~

LMFAO SIKE it's not the end,,

...i really am just digging my own grave huh?

SAYONARASH i did the 'the end' thing are you proud 🌚🌚

n e ways this is the end of angst for a while i think
next chapter is gonna have a major timeskip lmaoooo y eet

are y'all ready for cop ushijima? (acab but to me ushi doesn't count bc he's a farmboi at heart)

ok b ye ❤️

***not edited as usual bc i'm sleepy as heck***