SELF HELP

We were in the bus, driving to DC. The radio was on. Music could be heard. Rosita was messing with Abraham's hair as he drove

"It's getting a little messy for you" Rosita said

"Getting ready for retirement. Relaxing the grooming standards. Thinking about becoming a plumber. A shepherder, or something" Abraham said

"You ain't herding sheep now, Abraham. Eyes on the prize" Rosita said

"Damn right. That's my girl. Maybe I'll let you shave me down all over, dolphin-smooth" Abraham said. Rosita smacked his shoulder as she laughed

"I'll cut it for you tonight" Rosita said

"Yes, ma'am" Abraham said

"Hey, maybe Rosita can give you a trim while she's at it" Tara said to Eugene. I laughed

"I could always do it, but you might end up bald" I said laughing

"Party's getting a little long in the back. Or perhaps, it's your source of power?" Tara asked Eugene

"I ain't slaying a lion anytime soon. I wouldn't be placing any wagers on seeing me dispatch a thousand Philistines with the jawbone of an ass" Eugene said

"So you'll just settle on saving the world, right?" Tara asked

"Yeah" Eugene said

"What's up? Last night?" Tara asked Eugene, concerned for him

"Nope. Yes. That and tomorrow. And I'm thinking about that preacher, what he did" Eugene said as I stared at him. Maggie looked out the window with a smile

"Maybe they're just behind us. Maybe Daryl and Carol came back. Maybe they took the map, found some cars, and they're just down the road" Maggie said

"That would be awesome" I said

"They'll catch up. We're clearing the way for 'em" Glenn said

"How long will it be? After you get on that terminal and do what you have to do?" Maggie asked Eugene

"Depends on a number of factors, including density of the infected around target sites worldwide" Eugene said

"Wait, target sites? Are you talking about missiles?" Glenn asked. Eugene began to sweat

"That's classified" Eugene said

"The government doesn't even exist anymore. There is no classified" I said

"Y/n's right, I thought we were over that" Glenn said

"What if we all live?" Eugene asked

"The secrets will matter then?" Glenn asked

"They might. Anyway, the speed with which things normalize depend on a number of factors, including worldwide weather patterns, which were modeled without the assumption that cars, planes, boats, and trains wouldn't be pouring hydrocarbons into the atmosphere this long. Changed the game quite a bit when it comes to air-transmissible pathogens" Eugene said. Glenn and Maggie looked lost

"Hydrocarbons is what gave us power and gas before the world collapsed" I explained. They nodded

"Why the hair?" Glenn asked

"Because I like it. And no one is taking a scissor or clipper to it anytime soon. Do you hear me, Miss Espinosa?" Eugene asked looking at her. She laughed

"Yes, loud and clear" She said. We all chuckled

"Y'all can laugh all you want" Eugene said

"No one was makin' fun" Maggie said

"The smartest man I ever met happened to love my hair. My old boss, T. Brooks Ellis, the director of the Human Genome Project. He said my hair made me look like, and I quote, 'a fun guy,' which I am. I just ain't Samson" Eugene said. Suddenly there was a loud bang and the bus curved. The tires screeched as we all grabbed onto the seats. Then there was another bang. The bus was in the air. We were all tossed around as the bus landed on it's side. My entire body hurt as I laid there, disoriented. We could never catch a break because the world enjoyed fucking us in the ass

"Eugene! Eugene!" Someone yelled as somebody had grabbed my hand. It was Tara. I looked to see walkers on the outside of the bus. Desperate to get in

"Eugene, are you okay?" Rosita asked as Tara helped me up. My head was on fire. I put my hand up to my head as it pounded. Like this shit was getting annoying

"The preacher.. didn't see another way out" Eugene said

"You hold on, okay? Everyone else, you all right?" Abraham asked

"Yeah" Glenn said

"I guess" I said

"Yes" Tara said

"The engine's on fire. We gotta get out of here" Rosita said

"I know" Abraham said as Rosita went to help Eugene. Glenn looked at Abraham

"All right, you, Y/n and I go first, knock 'em back. Clear the way for Maggie and Rosita to get out, then we all start hitting them, okay?" Glenn asked. I nodded

"Yeah, all right. We'll do it live" Abraham said. I grabbed my knife

"Tara?" Abraham asked

"Yeah?" She responded

"You cover Eugene. You come out when it's clear" Abraham said

"Okay" She breathed out

"On my go!" Abraham said as me, and Glenn were at the exit. Abraham walked over and grabbed a metal bar. He pulled himself up

"Go!" Abraham yelled as he began kicking the door. It opened, causing the walkers to be pushed back. Me, Glenn and Abraham got out of the bus and began killing walkers. Rosita and Maggie behind us. I walked towards one of them and quickly stabbed the walker. It's blood staining my hands and knife. Another one came from behind. I pivoted, and quickly stabbed it. The others took down walkers as well. Two walkers had come for me. I had killed one of them. The other grabbed my arm. I struggled to get away as it attempted to bite me. Maggie had run over and quickly killed it

"Are you okay?" She asked. I nodded

"Yeah" I said. Soon enough they were all dead. All of us were panting. Rosita had fallen to her knees as she took deep breaths

"Whew. Check Eugene. See if he's hurt" Abraham said

"I'm fine. Just cuts and dings is all" Eugene said

"Check him!" Abraham said. Rosita walked over to Eugene

"Is that your blood?" Eugene asked Abraham. I looked at his hand to see it covered with blood

"Yeah. Damn thing opened again. I swear, the cuts are finer than frog's hair. They're just big bleeders" Abraham said

"First aid kit's in the bus" Rosita said

"I'll see what we have" Maggie said as she turned to the bus. She stopped once she saw the flames get bigger. The entire bus was on fire

"We're not stopping. We're rolling on. We'll find another vehicle down the road. The mission hasn't changed" Abraham said picking up a duffel bag

"Devil's advocate, nothing more. We smashed to a stop hard. We spent a lot of time rolling things out of the road. The church is just 15 miles back that way-" Eugene was cut off

"No. We don't stop. We don't go back. We're at war, and retreat means we lose. The road fights back, the plan gets jacked. You all know that. Now, we will get through this because we have to. Every direction is a question. We don't go back!" Abraham said angrily. Glenn went up to him and put his hand on Abraham's chest

"Hey, hey, hey. You okay?" Glenn asked concerned

"I am fit as a damn fiddle" Abraham said

"We are going with you. You are calling this thing. I just need to know you're good" Glenn said, wanting reassurance. Abraham nodded

"This is how things stop. I can't afford that right now. The world can't afford it. Listen, I took a pretty harsh shot to the sack with that crash. I am stressed and depressed to see that ride die, but if you say we're rolling on, I'm good" Abraham said. Glenn nodded

"We're rolling on" Glenn said

"I'm gonna rub some dirt on it and walk it off" Abraham said

"We'll find what we need like we always have- on the way" Rosita said

"Okay. I'm not rubbing dirt on anything" Maggie said with a smile

"Maybe we can find some bikes. Bikes don't burn" Tara said. Abraham nodded

"Good idea" I said

"All right" Abraham said as we continued on

—————

Night had fallen. We found a store. Abraham had just walked in with his gun raised

"Let's go" Abraham said. We all followed in after with our guns ready. It was a book store. I looked around but didn't see anything interesting

"This place is clear Abraham said. I walked backed over and helped the others move the shelves. We all got situated in. Tara had made a fire. I pulled out a book and tossed it in the fire

"Fuck the school!" I yelled

"You're literally basically 30, you're too old to do this shit" Maggie said

"Stop! Don't remind me you ass!" I said as I covered my face

"You're old" Glenn said. I pulled out another book and threw it at his face

"Ow" Glenn said

"Call me old again, and see what gets thrown at your face next" I said. Eugene stiffened at such a threat despite it not being directed towards him. Glenn rolled his eyes

"Maggie, Y/n is bullying me" Glenn complained. Maggie looked at him

"You did call her old" Maggie sai

"You're supposed to agree with me!" Glenn whined. Maggie smiled

"Sisters before misters" She said before she stuck out her tongue playfully

—————

I was sitting down on the couch as I continued reading some picture book. Rosita was wrapping Abraham's hand

"I think we should stay here today" Rosita said

"No. You got some reading you need to catch up on?" Abraham asked

"We got lucky yesterday. But we're all banged up, you especially" Rosita said

"We've been through worse. We keep moving" Abraham said

"Maybe we always wind up stopping because we never start at 100%" Rosita said

"Every minute we waste getting him to Washington, people are dying" Abraham said

"You think I don't understand that? After everything? You see, I actually want us to get there" Rosita said

"No, you want us to sit around. You want us to stop" Abraham said as Eugene and Maggie walked in. Rosita scoffed as Tara walked in

"This town isn't in bad shape. This store wasn't even touched. We could make a good base here. We could spend one last day doing a sweep for supplies" Maggie said

"We'll sweep as we go. We've done it since Houston. We're not stopping now" Rosita said

"You heard the lady. We're taking it north" Abraham said

"We tapped out the toilet. Broad River is five miles west. At the very least, we stock up there before we find wheels" Tara said

"We got a vehicle. And it just so happens.. it's got 500 gallons of water on it" Abraham said

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I asked as I closed the book. I tossed the book and then grabbed my rifle. We all then walked outside and towards the fire truck. We checked the fire truck for walkers and then we all got in it. Abraham started the engine. The truck began moving until the engine suddenly stopped. We all got out of the vehicle

"We'll find another ride" Glenn said

"If there was a ride worth a shit in this town, we'd have seen it. This thing's done some crowd clearing. Right up into the intake. Which means we've got an air filter filled with damn human remains. There is no damned corner on this damned earth that has not been dicked hard beyond all damned recognition" Abraham said angrily

"Abraham?" Rosita asked

"What?" Abraham asked as he put a plastic bag on some car part

"That feeds the radiator. The intake for the engine is actually on the roof" Rosita said. Abraham stopped and looked at her. He then nodded. I heard something make a thump noise. We turned to see a tire

"I always wanted to get in one of those and roll around in it" I said smiling, but my happiness was short lived as a bunch of tires fell out onto the ground. Walkers coming out of the open door. Snarling as the approached us

"Can y'all just piss off for like two seconds?" I asked

"Tara! Maggie!" Glenn yelled. Abraham grabbed his rifle and ran over

"One damn town!" Abraham yelled as he swung the rifle at a walker and killed it. Me and Glenn did the same

"One damn town!" Abraham yelled as he bashed a walker's head in. I pulled out my knife and killed another walker

"Abraham, just wait!" Rosita yelled as I turned and stabbed another walker

"There's more from the back!" Glenn yelled

"Just keep killing, just keep killing, what do we do? We kill" I sang as I had changed Dory's song. A walker approached me. I grabbed its shoulder and then stabbed it in the head. Suddenly water began shooting out. Completely soaking me in water. The water was killing the walkers. I stared as they went down. Soon enough all the walkers were either dead or on the ground. I looked up to see Eugene. He was the one who did it

"I been to eight county fairs and one goat rodeo. I never see anything like that" Abraham said. Eugene looked proud of himself as he got down

"There was a Goodwill over there by the bookstore. It's pretty blown up, but there might be some supplies, some dry clothes, maybe?" Glenn asked

"We should check it out" I said

"Not necessary. I can clear that intake in two shakes. Then the engine will get some wind and so will we. You'll air-dry. We roll on" Abraham said as he climbed to the top of the fire truck. He looked down at us as he began laughing. I stared confused. He put his hands on his knees as he laughed. We all turned to see writing

Sick inside. Let them die

I turned my head back to Abraham with a shocked look

"What? This shit is screwed up!" Abraham said laughing

"I know but like.. damn. Actually you know what? Fuck it. Let them die, let them die, let them shrivel up and die!" I sang that last part as Abraham clapped. Though, once I finished, he turned and kneeled down. Throwing walker chunks in the air

—————

We had gotten a little farther, using the fire truck as transportation but it had broke down. We were on watch as Abraham tried to fix it. Clanking could be heard

"Come on" Abraham said. Eugene was reading a book. I decided to sit down next to him

"I know why you have the haircut" Maggie said as she walked over. I closed my book and put it back in my bag

"I told you, it's 'cause I like it" Eugene said as he continued reading his book

"I believe that. I like it, too. I think you like it for a reason. You're not the person people think you are. You want 'em to know who you are" Maggie said. Eugene looked at her. I watched intently

"Not following you" Eugene said

"If you didn't have that mullet, you'd probably be like everybody else in the labs. But you're not like everybody else. I think a lot of people in your position probably would've given up, but you didn't" Maggie said

"There were people- a lot of them along the way- they made sure I didn't give up. It wasn't me remotely" Eugene said

"It was. You started this thing. And you're not like Samson. He was kind of a mess" Maggie said. I got up and walked away as they continued talking

"Whoa, what the hell is that?" Glenn asked

"What the hell is what- oh my God" I said as a foul smell entered my nostrils

"Wind's picking up. You're about to smell it" Glenn said

"What is that?" Maggie asked

"Whatever's making that stench, it ain't nothing nice. We're not stopping" Abraham said as he got out of the truck with his rifle

"Uh, we're stopped" Tara said. I laughed as Abraham continued up the road

"Damn" I said as the rest of us followed. The wind was rustling as we walked. We then stopped as we saw a bunch of them. A bunch is an understatement. There was like a nation of walkers. Tara coughed as the smell got worse and stronger

"Holy shit" I said. Glenn turned around and began walking back

"Let's go. We're gonna go" Glenn said

"I will not lie down" Abraham said

"Abraham" Rosita said

"I will not leave" Abraham said as he stayed put. The rest of us were ready to leave

"Abraham, let's get out of here" Rosita said

"I will not give up the ship. Hold up" Abraham said

"We gotta go" Maggie said

"No. No, we don't. They can't hear us and they can't see us. Not from here. We're fine" Abraham said

"For now" I said

"Yeah, this is the definition of fine" Tara said

"We need the map. There's gotta be a detour" Glenn said

"Not doing it. We detoured and detoured and detoured from Houston to Georgia. I'm not playing that game anymore" Abraham said. Glenn walked over to him

"We are not going through this, okay? It isn't gonna happen" Glenn said

"You got a shitstorm behind door A and a storm of shit behind door B. If you're lucky, it's walkers or a shot-up truck. But sooner or later you get cornered. You wind up staying and you wind up killing. We don't go back. We can't go back" Abraham said

"I'm not talking about going back. Just south a few miles" Glenn said

"No" Abraham said

"Ain't no way I'm following you into that fucking hell zone" I said

"We already hit a full stop 'cause of an air filter compromised by innards. That will happen again" Eugene said

"Then we'll hit 'em with the hose" Abraham said. I think he was more stubborn than Daryl, and that was saying something

"The tank is empty, Abraham" Rosita said

"If we floor it-" Glenn cut Abraham off

"We still hit them, they still slow us down, and then they stop us" Glenn said

"I'm not saying we just go straight" Abraham said

"That's the way the road goes" Maggie said

"Bam" I said

"Abraham" Rosita said

"We can get through!" Abraham yelled

"Hey, uh dumbass.. I don't know what you're fucking on right now, but that's bullshit and you know it. You were a sergeant in the army and you're telling me we can make it past them? We can't get Eugene to DC if we're all fucking dead" I said

"We're not gonna die! We'll get through! I know it! And that means we are not going south, going around, or going back!" Abraham yelled

"No. They're right" Rosita said. Abraham finally gave in and turned around. He then began to walk back. He grabbed Eugene by the arm harshly as he walked towards the truck

"Abraham" Rosita said

"Hey! Hey!" Glenn said

"What are you doing? Stop" Rosita said rushing over

"Let go of him" Glenn said

"I'm not gonna let you do this" Rosita said as we all walked

"Yes, you are" Abraham said

"Hey, hey, stop" Tara said as she put her hand on Abraham's chest. Abraham pushed her off

"Hey, you are done! You're done!" Glenn yelled as he ran over and pushed Glenn. Abraham moved his arms away

"Do not! Do not!" Abraham yelled

"Stop!" Rosita yelled as the two were pushing each other

"I told you, you do not touch me! You do not touch me!" Abraham yelled as everyone began shouting

"There is no cure!" Eugene yelled. We all stopped and turned with wide eyes

"The hell are you talking about?!" Abraham asked angrily

"I'm not a scientist! I lied. I'm not a scientist. I don't know how to stop it. I'm not a scientist" Eugene said. We all stared at him

"You are a scientist. I've seen the things you can do" Rosita said

"I just know things" Eugene said

"You just.. know things?" Rosita asked

"I know I'm smarter than most people, I know I'm a very good liar, and I know I needed to get to DC" Eugene said

"Why?" Rosita asked

"Because I do believe that locale holds the strongest possibility for survival, and I wanted to survive. If I could cheat some people into taking me there, well, I just reasoned that I'd be doing them a solid, too, considering the perilous state of the city if Houston, the state of everything" Eugene said. Abraham crouched to the ground

"People died trying to get you here" Rosita said as her voice became shaky

"I'm aware of that- Stephanie, Warren, Pam, Rex, Roger, Josiah, Dirk, and Josephine, and Bob" Eugene said. I shook my head

"You see, I lost my nerve as we grew closer, for I am a coward.. and the reality of getting to our destination and disclosing the truth of the matter became some truly frightening shit. I took it upon myself to slow our roll.." Eugene said

"Wait, what?" I asked confused

"Find time to finesse things, so then when we got there.. but at this moment, I fully realize there are no longer any agreeable options. I was screwed either way. I also lied about T. Brooks Ellis liking my hair. I do not know T. Brooks Ellis. But I did read one of his books, and he seemed to like the type of guy that wouldn't blink twice at a Tennessee Top Hat. Again.. I am smarter than you. Now you may want to leave me here-" Eugene was cut off as Abraham dropped his gun and stood up. He ran over and punched Eugene. My mouth opened in surprise

"Hey! Hey!" Tara yelled as her and Glenn rushed over

"Hey, come on!" Glenn yelled as they both tried to restrain Abraham

"Get off of him!" Tara yelled. Abraham roared as he punched Eugene again. Eugene was out cold as he hit the ground face first. Yikes

"Oh, my God" Maggie muttered

"No" Glenn said as Abraham went back for round two. Rosita got in front of Abraham to stop him

"Eugene?" Maggie asked. Abraham's hand was covered in blood. Abraham turned around and walked away

"Get up. Look at me" Maggie said to Eugene. Glenn looked at me and then walked over

"I can't believe he was lying" Glenn said

"Neither can I" I said

"We could've stayed with the others!" Glenn yelled annoyed at the world

"I was forced here against my will. I deserve justice damn it! I've been duped!" I said. Glenn looked at me

"We've both been duped" He said

(3804 words)
12/15/21

Edited: 08/09/22