It's time for Jalen's era to come to an end. 

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15 MAY

It was almost our one-year anniversary, yet he had no communication. I didn't really understand why he did what he did.

Things weren't so good, for Tom and Mattheo either. Loads of petty arguments had arisen. The emotions being displayed with one another were chaotic and a disaster. 

I didn't want to be a burden on any of them, I could understand Mattheo's point of view. He was struggling, and desperately in need of help. Then again, I could heavily sympathize with Tom as well.

He was being treated wrongly. 

                                                                      - - - - - - - - 

"I know, I know, Emerlyn." Mattheo declared with a small sigh escaping his lips. "I really do want to be the best person I can be."

"But lately, I feel as though, I'm slowly losing my senses, and sometimes it feels as though it isn't worth- living any longer.." Mattheo shared his grief. 

His sorrow touched my heart. This year wasn't a good year at all.

"Mattheo, don't say that. You have a lot to live for."

"This world is temporary, Emerlyn." 

                                                                           - -- - - - - -

"By the way, Jalen wanted me to tell you, he's incredibly sorry for what he's done and wanted to talk to you but didn't have the guts," Mattheo confessed grabbing my tangled attention. "He said that he didn't want to take his anger out on you, so that's why he avoided you."

    He didn't have the guts to face me because he knew what he had done was sinister. 

Treating me like shit. 

"Oh..."

Oh. 

He didn't even trust me enough to share his grief. 

"Right intention but wrong execution." Mattheo continued. "I know I've been terrible in helping you with your relationship problems, but trust me." He paused.

"You don't want to be with a guy like that, and I'm saying it as a guy." He advised.

It felt like a cycle, I would be violated with every sort of emotion, then treated with silence, and then an apology- picked up from the trash can, would be thrown at me. Was I forever going to be treated like this?

                                                                         - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

"Emerlyn, these have been the worst few weeks of my life and I didn't want to take any of my anger on you nor did I want to burden you with anything." He apologized once again, as his eyes grew watery. 

"But I would've loved to help you.."

Jalen had changed.

We went from being those lovebirds who lettered each other even in the shining twilight, to being two strangers who only knew each other's backstory.

I missed, missed, missed that Jalen that would ponder over even the slightest attention from me.

"I know, but I want to do it on my own," his voice was low and agitated. "I love you."

My heart fluttered. Those were the words my ears had died to hear. 

"I love you too." We fell into a silent embrace, he planted a small kiss on my head.

We could work it out. I just had to try. 

"I thought I would be celebrating our anniversary alone on Tuesday!" which would also be May 17. I felt warm tears droplet crash onto the ground beneath my feet.

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JUNE 2ND.

I watched and I watched as my eyes glued to the mother swinging her daughter, as I swang alone.

A desire to have a mother do all sorts of various things desperately flooded my heart.

There was no way to fulfill this desire.

I loathed the people who had murdered my parents horrifically, just for once I imagined a childhood with two parents. I would've never been placed in the orphanage.

I wouldn't have met Tom and Mattheo either. There was an emotion in me, it was vengeance.

 I wanted to murder each and every one of them just likes how they had killed my parents. That's why I had always carried a dagger with me. To train, to learn.

I learned alone and fought alone and today stood alone as well. This battle of fighting my own emotions was alone and I had been defeated and would stay defeated till the moment each of them was dead.

I had very blurry visions of being taught by my father about daggers, the training had started with him but would finish without him. 

I knew I was ultimately destined to figure out the identities of the culprits.

I wasn't going to murder though, it wasn't in my blood.

 I wanted to.

But it was wrong. 

                                                                     - - - - - - - 

My words choked through my throat as tears spurred on my clothes and I cried.

Cried, cried, and cried horrifically to Jalen.

He watched, watched, and watched in utter silence. 

"I just wish I could have even a minute with my parents..." my throat ached and I wonder how many tears it would take to run out of them.

The lined thick eyelashes picked up my warm tears turning my vision blurry. 

"Emerlyn, enough...you've cried enough..."

For a second, it felt as though, Jalen was almost tired of my blabbering. 

But he was trying to help me.

But I continued, I was in a state of grief I had never been in. My heart softened as all the hard emotions battled their way out of me. 

"Emerlyn!" He lost his patience dramatically. "Can you just stop crying!"

"You should be grateful you don't have a mum, my mum calls me a pig!" He yelled and I quickly wiped the fallen tears.

"I'm sorry for your mum... I really am... I just.."

"Just get out!"

  He would treat me with silence again, wouldn't he?

                                                                                    - - - - - - - 

JUNE 28.

"I can't deal with this anymore." Mattheo began packing as Serena watched from a corner. "I'm leaving!"

"Go on, you've been shitty enough already!" Tom yelled, his voice flooded with rage at the action his eldest brother had taken.

And Mattheo left.

Forever.

Our little trio had fallen apart and it would just be Tom and me from now on.

Serena had burst into tears, Tom was quick to comfort her. 

"Tom, is he going to return?" Serena's voice was as cracked as shattered glass. 

"Serena, listen to me, he left eating your money and that fucker is going return for your money as well." 

This was the first time I had witnessed Tom's eyes fill with the most violent tears ever. 

I knew Mattheo had really struggled. He had struggled with mental health and alcoholism. 

Each of those bottles had been bought with the money saved for Serena, which was evil. This act of Mattheo wasn't worth forgiveness. 

I didn't know wheater it was right to snivel over the loss of my best friend or comfort the duo that had lost their brother.

                                                                              - - - - -

The last day couldn't get any worse as I studied Jalen's mate slowly approaching me. I wasn't prepared.

I was numb.

To my surprise, I hadn't actually seen Jalen anywhere ever since he had told me to vanish from his dorm.

"He left England because he couldn't tolerate his abusive mother any longer." The friend began. "He lettered and informed me."

Oh. He lettered him but not me.

"I see--"

"He is also sorry too, and would like to talk to you again."

At this moment, I didn't know what it was but my emotions had switched. 

I was infuriated.

"What the fuck does he think I am, a toy he can use?"

"Scratch that...he was just sorry, he doesn't want to talk to you." He continued, I didn't see the point of this conversation-now turning into an argument. "He was just pissed."

"I don't understand, why was he pissed?"

"Because apparently, you were so fucking inconsiderate, you know about how he gets mentally abused by his mother and sometimes even physically. Yet, you still kept talking about your trauma and he simply drew the line there."

"I don't get how I was being inconsiderate?" 

"I never mentioned anything about his mother being mentally or physically abusive? I never mentioned anything about him, it.was.never.about.him." I continued.

"Infact, I think he's being inconsiderate by not having the guts to talk to me himself." I finished and turned my back to him and climbed onto the train.

I was so done.

From now on, he wouldn't be Jalen for me. 

He would be Axel.

And this is when I realized Axel was never going to return back.

A/N:  I apologize for the lengthy chapter, but this chapter is the only chapter that emotionally connects with me. 

Emerlyn and Axel's story has now finished, and the next chapter will be slightly different.