Something seems to snap inside of me as I straighten to look my superior dead in the eye, a tingling feeling weighing down my gut. "Burris, you know you shouldn't be doing this... they could fire you for Godsakes-" I shake my head and quickly wipe the tears from my eyes, attempting to stand on my shaky feet.

"No, I can't let you or the others get punished because of me if you're caught, I should deal with this on my own." I take a step forward, but end up losing my balance and swaying to the side.

"Harper, please sit down," Burris urges, leaning forward to steady me and gently pull me back to sitting on my bed. "Letting other people help you doesn't mean you're weak, you know that right?"

It's at that moment that I notice the dark circles under my superior's eyes, and the way his hair is sloppily done. "Paul," I say softly, leaning forward to look into his tired eyes. "Have you not been... sleeping?"

Burris' eyes narrow slightly, before he sighs and runs a hand through his gelled hair, messing it up even more. "Is it that easy to tell?" he says with a sad smile, though when he sees I don't smile back he sighs and quickly lets it fall.

"Yes, I haven't been sleeping well either... you're not the only one who has nightmares about him."

"Why didn't you say something?" I ask, my fingers tightening on the bed sheets beneath me. "You've helped me through his death, I should be doing the same for you!"

"But you already have, Harper," Burris says earnestly, his blue eyes glowing with emotion. "Helping you actually helps me as well, when you talk to me about how you feel, how you miss him, it helps me feel understood and not alone."

"But that's one-sided! You can't get better by merely hearing the other party speak about the incident, you must as well!" I exclaim, as Burris nods with a small smile.

"I know Harper, I know. That's why I had wanted you to start having therapy sessions with the Raven Sector's medic Rene, did you know she's a psychologist as well?"

"What? Therapy?" I croak, as Burris sets a hand on my knee and nods.

"Yes, I think it would really benefit you. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, I was also considering taking a few sessions myself, that way we can get better together."

I pause, a little taken off guard by his hopeful tone and the way his eyes brighten slightly. It's odd that this is what Burris had wanted to talk about, he never would've thought of taking therapy on his own, not when he's a workaholic for a reason.

"And who gave you this idea?" I ask suspiciously, as Burris lifts his hand from my knee.

"Superior Harks, actually. He was telling me about how important it is to treat your agents' physical and mental needs, and recommended that every agent should have a therapy session at least once in their career."

I frown at the idea of Harks telling my superior that we should take therapy, as it seems a bit out of character for him. "Did he give any other reason as to why he'd want us to take 'therapy?'" I ask suspiciously, as Burris levels me with a hard stare.

"No Harper, only that it would benefit us, and I agree." Burris' blue eyes burn into mine as he says his next words. "I think it's time that we both sought professional help for this, and I do believe that we'll be better off for it."

I press my lips together as I scrutinize my superior's expression, before nodding. "Alright, I trust you," I always have.

Burris smiles and gets to his feet. "Very good, and it looks like you've finally stopped shaking."

My eyes dart down to my hands to find that they have stilled, even though scarlet blood still remains on them. The tingling feeling in my stomach has also seemed to calm as I look back up to Burris with a feigned glare.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I accuse, as Burris laughs and holds his hand out to help me to my feet.

"Again, you underestimate me. Now, I suggest you clean up while I go assess the status of our... predicament."

Burris turns to leave but I quickly stride around him and stand in front of the door. "Can you wait a few minutes while I shower? I'd like to come with you."

My superior hesitates, before shaking his head. "I don't think that's a good idea Harper,"

I frown, and move around him to pull open the top drawer of my dresser and grab a grey blouse and black jeans, ignoring his words. "I need to speak to Lucía, there are some things I need to tell her."

Burris crosses his arms and frowns, but relents. "Alright, but I'm leaving in five minutes, whether you're done or not."

"Thank you," I call as I stride over to my bathroom, while Burris walks out into the hall and begins to close the door to my room.

"I'll be waiting in the hall."

I quickly showered, cringing when I had to scrub Lucía's blood from my hands. The act felt, tainting, different from any other time I've had to wash blood from my skin. I was determined to make my mistakes right though, or get as close as I possibly could.

As I change into my new set of clothes, I quickly run my brush through my wet hair and throw open the door of my bathroom, then the door to my room to find Burris leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"You ready?" he asks, his short blond hair tilting to the side as he pushes off the wall.

I give him a clipped nod, and we both stride down the hall. Burris pulls out his phone to check a message, before glancing over at me. "Mr. Allard has texted that Agent Parks is in the medical facility on the fourth floor."

"Very good," I reply, quietly letting out a breath of relief. Thank god she never got to Harks, though that doesn't mean she won't get to him eventually.

"Also, about you and Mr. Allard earlier-"

"I don't want to talk about it," I quickly interrupt, causing my superior to frown. Just the thought of Beau carrying me down this very hall and holding me in my bed sends a shiver down my spine, though I couldn't determine whether it was an uncomfortable or thrilled shiver-

No Harper, we're not doing this right now. I scold myself, pushing back the images of Beau's fingers on my cheeks, or my head resting against his chest. We must focus on the task at hand...

Burris and I come to a stop in front of the silver elevator before us, before I quickly jam my finger into the button. The doors slide open and we both quickly step in, Burris pressing the button for the fourth floor.

We stand in silence as the elevator begins to move up, the feeling of Burris' eyes on me causes me to twist to look over at him. "What? What's that look for?" I ask, even though his face is neutral. I've found that the only way to get him to share what he's thinking is by bluffing about his facial expression.

He sighs and shakes his head, "I still don't know how you do that, but if you must know, I'm thinking about the very thing you told me you didn't want to talk about."

I scowl and quickly turn around, "Of course you are."

I hear Burris open his mouth to say something behind me, before he snaps it shut as the elevator doors before us open to reveal the medical floor of the sector. I suck in a breath when I remember waking up in one of these medical rooms, and Beau revealing himself as my mission partner.

I had assumed he was merely an annoying and cocky bastard, and I wasn't entirely from the truth... though he's grown on me ever so slightly.

Burris and I step out of the elevator to see Amber pacing back and forth in front of a medical room, anxiously chewing her lip. When she sees us, she runs up to me and throws her arms around me in a tight squeeze.

"Oh Harper, I heard what happened... are you okay?"

"You're asking if I'm okay?" I snort, as Amber pulls back to give me an annoyed glare.

"I know you can be reckless sometimes, but it's not like you to lash out unprovoked." she states, turning to Burris who stands next to me.

"Good morning, Sir," she says, as Burris gives her a nod in return.

"Agent Talle, thank you for assisting us. Your presence is no longer required, so you may head back to your apartment to rest."

Amber beings to open her mouth to reply, when I interrupt her. "Wait, you were leaving to your apartment when Beau and I were walking to the third floor, how are you here right now?" I then turn to Burris with my brows furrowed. "And how did you know what happened so quickly?"

My superior clears his throat, which tells me he's going to reveal his cunning observations and whatnot. "Yesterday, Harks had been telling me about Mr. Allard and Ms. Parks' history. Then today while I was waiting for you on the third floor, I ran into Ms. Parks just as she was stepping into the elevator. I predicted how she would most likely react to you given your and Mr. Allards'... complicated relationship, and that you two would probably cross paths when you were making your way up to me,"

Burris then waves his hands, "I knew she would probably say something to Mr. Allard, or you, so I called for Amber to check on you before she left. She saw the altercation, ran to come get me, and here we are."

I glance over to Amber for confirmation, who gives me a single nod with the hint of a smirk. I then sigh and run a hand through my hair, looking back over to Burris.

"You really have to teach me how you do that sometime."

My superior chuckles as I cross my arms and look over Amber's shoulder towards the small window in the door she had been pacing in front of before. "Now, what is going on in there?"

Amber turns to glance back at the closed medical door with a slight frown. "Agent Allard has been in there talking to Agent Parks, I guess to convince her not to snitch to Harks."

I scowl and walk towards the door, "That idiot, what is he thinking? Now she's going to rat him out too, and he'll get in trouble!" I grit my teeth and begin to twist the handle, when Amber grabs my wrist and tugs it away.

"Wait Harper, let him help you!"

My scowl deepens as I attempt to yank my wrist out of my best friend's grip. "Let go Amber, I have to-"

"What?" Amber snaps, throwing down my wrist. "How are you going to help? He's already in there, and he's putting his career on the line for you, so let him help you,"

"He shouldn't have to do that, you both shouldn't have to do that. I can handle my own problems," I grit out, saying the same words that I've been repeating in my head these past eight months, though this time they don't sound very convincing.

I sigh, a wave of fatigue hitting me as I turn back to the door just as Beau pushes the door open and steps out. His eyes narrow when they flick to me while he crosses his arms. "You should be in bed resting."

"Yeah?" I snap, crossing my own arms and stepping forward so they brush against his firm chest. "You shouldn't be fighting my battles for me."

"Hmm," Beau grins, leaning down slightly as his jade eyes bore into mine. "You didn't seem to feel that way earlier,"

My cheeks immediately flush as someone clears their throat behind us. I quickly step away from Beau, but don't uncross my arms. "What did you tell her?"

Beau's eyes flick up to look at someone over my shoulder, his eyes darkening for a second. I turn to look over my shoulder to see which of the two behind me he's staring at, when he quickly answers. "That is none of your concern. Now, I will escort you back to your room."

"No, you won't," I say, pushing Beau and reaching for the handle to the room.

"Harper, don't," Beau says, but I'm already pulling the door open and shutting it behind me.

A/N-

Hey guys! It's been a little while since I've checked in!

I just wanted to give you some updates about how the first draft of this story has been going, and a bit of news! Firstly, I wanted to thank all of you who have made it this far! Although this is a story that I've put a lot of work into, first drafts are still... a dumpster fire no matter how hard you try 😂 We're getting closer to the end, and the word count of this novel is already 87,000 words! THAT'S A LOT OF WORDS!!

So, as you can tell I'm very excited to finish this dumpster fire so I can print it out and mark the heck out of it to make it soooooooo much better! But I have to say, this first draft and the time it took to write it will always have a special place in my heart. I love all of these characters, and they've been through so much. I've loved writing the raw emotion and trauma that they each experience, and I hope that you've enjoyed it as well!

Now, onto the other news...

I will be going to a church camp in California next week, and as far as I remember (the last time I went was two years ago before Covid), the WiFi there is absolute trash. So I will not be able to do any more writing, but I do already have chapters set to go so I'll see if I can get them to you on the update days.

I will also try to upload Chapter 39 on Sunday before I leave for camp, but things might get crazy so who knows? If worst comes to worst, I'll just start updates back up the week of the 16....

Though once I get back from camp I'm literally leaving at three am the next day to fly to Chicago... yay. I'll be there for two weeks as well, so we'll see if I get any writing done. My plan is to finish the first draft of R.I.P before the end of June so I can do all of the editing and revising in July before school starts, but we'll see what happens.

LONG STORY SHORT I will try to continue regular updates for the rest of this month, but I will be bouncing around on different trips so that might not happen, and this might be the last you hear of me for at most a month!

I will be back though!! 

Shout out to any of you who actually read the entirety of this message, you're the real ones! 😂

See you all hopefully soon,

~Syd