I woke up to Milo sleeping on my chest so I checked the time, its 12:00 shit

I gently picked her up and set her down on the blanket next to me and got out of bed, I went to go brush my teeth and take a shower

I chose to wear an MCR 'Three cheers for sweet revenge' cropped tee, A Dark purple Plaid skirt, And 2 inch platform Boots with chains on them.

I grabbed Milos collar and leash, i woke her up and put down food and water before we left

Ding

I looked at the notification it was from johnnie it said                                  'Hey y/n would you like to Attend a Pool party Tara's Throwing?, she asked me to ask you idk why but Im assuming she doesn't have your number?' ....

I typed, 'I mean why not usually what I wear it looks like Im going somewhere like A party' wait that makes me sound bad 

'Sure if tara really wants me to go Im up for it!' that sounds like I dont wanna go..

 Fuck, 'Yeah of course what time?' Seems about right

Seen just now

Typing

.

...........

..........

............

'Cool, Its at like 2:30' I replied with a thumbs up and hearted his message

"guess im going somewhere", I had gone to my room to look for a swim suit I found a two piece all black swim suit nothing fancy or anything.

I folded it up and put it in my backpack with the rest of my stuff

-

I had just arrived at Tara and her roommates house, Milo was excited to be back and I just wanted to see tara as I haven't in a while

I didn't use my skateboard I just walked, Milo was excited because she recognized where were going so when we saw the house she decided to speed up so I also sped up 

Crazy to do that in platform boots but Im used to it by now

"Sup!" I shook my hair out of my face as tara squealed when I finally got there "I can't wait to See your swimsuit!" She smiled and let me in, "How ya doin' y/n?" Johnnie asked with a small smile

I Replied with, "Good, you?", he smiled and said good, then went upstairs I'm assuming to get something or change

Tara walked up to me and sandwiched my hand in hers, "Lets go change girl!" she brought me upstairs to her room so I sat on the floor  while she changed

"what do you think?" Tara asked while spinning so I could get a full look, I began to speak, "amazing!" I said with a smile

she wore a bright pink two piece with a slit on both sides of the top, "You should get changed!" She smiled softly, god I wish I had her confidence I could never show off my body confidently even if it was just a two piece 

(don't take that the wrong way we aren't strippers☺️)

 I prefer wearing shorts and a t-shirt if Im swimming but I guess that changes today

I took my two piece out of my backpack and went into the bathroom to change, I slid on the bottoms slightly picking apart every little bit of my lower half I didn't like, I put on the top and frowned at how my body looked in it

One part of me loved how I looked, But the other part you ask? I hate this I don't like the way its tight it doesn't hug my body perfectly like I hoped it would

My hips aren't small enough I should've starved myself to get the perfect waist, my hair doesn't look good I should cut it so its perfect, My boobs are to big Im gonna get called a fucking whore for wearing this two piece I hate my body, I hate everything about it Im not pretty nor am I hot Im just existing.. I don't want to but I am Living in this hell and have to endure it because if I die I'm gonna make someone have depression and I don't wish that on anyone not even my worst enemy...

"Y/n? You okay in there..?" Tara asked while I picked my body apart, "Just fine.." I replied and came out of the bathroom

Tara gasped, "You look so good in that!" I gave a small smile and twirled like she had done I put on an Over sized black t-shirt as a cover up so I felt a bit better "Lets go!" She held my hand as we went downstairs

"Oh by the way y/n my best friend wanted to meet you!" She pointed to the guy on the couch playing with Milo                                                                                                                                                                 "Hi Larray!" - "Hey girl! Is this the friend you were talking about?" He asked gestured to me "Yeppers" she smiled moving out of the way so he could see me better

"Nice to meet you y/n Im Larri or Larray" - "By the way she talks about you all the time just so you know" he whispered shortly after "Nice to meet you to Larray" I let out a breathy laugh "anyway girl, what's your number? if you don't mind me asking.." Larray asked so I told him and he so put it in his phone

Milo came up to us and sat down by Larray, "oh by the way, is this your dog?" he bent down to pet Milo while I Answered, "yup" - "well shes pretty" I said 'thank you'                                                  and he mouthed 'your welcome' before walking away

"cool, oh and were waiting on Jake to get back from...." - "wherever he is" Tara said as Jake had just pulled up to the house and walked in the front door                                                                                    "sup Bitches, And you y/n your not a bitch but a sweetheart!" he put on a southern accent while he came towards me and pat my shoulder then went upstairs

--

Jake soon came back, Johnnie following shortly behind, both in shorts except Johnnie wore a cover up while he waited

Tara smiled and walked over to the middle of the room, "are we going outsode or What?!" she yelled getting everyone's attention 

I waited till everyone was outside till I took the t-shirt off and put it in my backpack

Tara came back in for a moment to come get me but went back outside when I walked over to the backdoor, I saw Tara walking back outside talking with Larri while they heard over to the pool

I just dipped my feet in to get used to the water before completely  swimming

Tara sat next to me and did the same, Jake tip toed behind Tara and pushed her in                      "JAKE YOU ASS!" she yelled and Jake replied, "you didn't go in the water so I helped you!"  I giggled a bit before getting pushed into the water as well, I gasped as the cold water hit my waist, then I looked behind me to see Johnnie holding back a laugh so I got out and walked towards him

Tara did the same but with Jake, we both pushed them into the pool as well while they yelled, "YOU ASSES" Jake  and Johnnie yelled at the same time while splashing us both 

"what the hell!" I jumped in the pool splashing them back, "hey!, were supposed to do that" Johnnie smiled, he went under the water and under me then swam back to the surface carrying me on his shoulders "Lovebirds!" Larray splashed us with water and swam towards us before we could do anything back, "you may kiss the bride" Larray said looking at me then Johnnie before swimming away 

"put me down you witch!" I said in a old timey accent, "nuh uh" Johnnie replied while I squirmed around trying to get down "I give up you win" I sighed in a playful way while he just smiled

Tara went under the water as well and came back up behind Jake and tapped his shoulder then went back under and waited till he moved to do the same thing while he wasn't looking, this went on for a good 5 minutes before he found out it was tara

Johnnie finally let me go so I swam up to Tara and we just talked 

-

I walked inside my house and immediately got clothes to take a shower, I took one and went to bed with a smile on my face, I scrolled before getting a notification 

Johnnie: Gn Y/n 

Message hearted: Gn Y/n

Night Johnnie :You

I turned my phone off and fell asleep as Milo Layed down next to me.