A/N- Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update, things have been crazy with work and school. This weeks chapter is continuing from last weeks so if you haven't read that one go ahead and check it out. 

Warnings: Some talk of  childhood PTSD (More hinted at but still for some its a sensitive topic)

Word count: 3690

Songs for this chapter:

Not allowed- Tv girl

She knows- J. Cole

Alien blues- Vundabar

Are we still friends- Tyler the creator 

"From what I know your friend has a thing for killing Russians too."

"Jessie stop!" 

"Your a pathetic girl. Hear that? Pathetic!"

"Killer." 

"Killer-"

Jess pushed a box of gauze into her basket, knocking the reverberating sounds from her mind and pulling herself from her thoughts that where circling her head like vultures over a carcass. 

She trudged through each of the isles, grabbing everything that was written down on the wet note sheet she had in her hand. Claire had sent her out on an excursion for more medical supplies after Matt went through almost all of them, making Jess's room a trash can for bloody gauze and bandage wrappers. 

When she made her way to the front counter, her eyes peered up at the clock. Jess's knees where weak as she trotted throughout the store, and her arms clung to her jacket like a moth to a flame.

1:39 am

Great, another night of no sleep. 

She placed all of her items on the counter as the woman in front of her rang everything up. Jess looked...busted to say the least. Her shirt was covered in blood that wasn't hers, her hair was a tangled mane of brunette fluff, and her eyes where accessorized with black and purple bags that rested low below them. 

"Late night?" The woman asked, bagging the last of her items as she calculated the price on the screen next to her. "27.42"

"I guess that's what you could call it." She said, pulling her wallet out as she handed the woman her credit card. She looked behind the counter, seeing a line of booze up against the wall. "Can you also add the cheapest whiskey you have on there?" She asked, pointing to the screen.

The woman nodded, grabbing a tall bottle of whiskey and placing it in the bag along with the rest of the medical supplies. "31.17" she said, ringing up Jess's card, handing it back to her soon after along with her bag. 

"Have a good night." The woman said, offering a slight smile to Jess as she walked off without an other word. It was too late to wish for a good night.

Jess had never walked faster in her entire life. Rain poured down like teardrops onto her hood, making the fabric become wet as it soaked through to her hair. She walked swiftly, trying to make it back to her apartment in a timely manner in case Matt had somehow managed to bleed more then he had already.

"How is he?" Jess asked, lowering her drenched hood as she made her way inside her room from her window. Jess had avoided the front door, not wanting to awaken Lily and start a fight at 1 in the morning about how she was a terrible friend for ditching her once again.

Claire turned around and looked at Jess, "He's doing good. Had some pretty serious laceration's but I was able to get them fixed up." Claire walked over to Jess, placing her hand on her forehead where a cut was, going from her hairline down. 

Jess pulled away at the touch, "Claire, I told you I'm okay." 

"I know you say your okay but from the way you look I would say otherwise." Claire smarted, watching Jess walk over to the chair in the corner of her room. "How long has it been since you slept? You could really use some sleep."

"I'm fine." Jess said, looking up at her. Jess's eyes where red and bloodshot from the combination of the smoke from the fire on her clothes and from the cold wind outside. 

"You and I have very different ideas of the word fine." Claire said, still focusing on Jess as she crossed her arms.

Jess just watched Matt from the corner of her room. She would watch as his chest would rise and fall, counting how many breaths he took in a minute in her mind. Although the explosion wasn't her fault, she somehow felt responsible for what had happened to him. 

Claire looked at Jess sorrowful, "I'm sorry this is how you had to find out about him." Jess looked up at Claire who had her arms crossed as she spoke. Her scrubs where stained dark red along random patches. "If it makes you feel any better I found out about him after he was bleeding out in a trash bin outside my apartment." 

Jess lightly chuckled, leaning back into the chair as she reached in the plastic bag next to her. She pulled out a bottle of whiskey, popping the top off. "I don't get it." She said, shaking her head. 

"I know the way I explained things was confusing but once he wakes up he can probably explain it better."

"Not that, I understand that I just-" She shook her head, "I don't understand why this shit happens to me." Jess scoffed, "I mean really, I find a guy who I really like, I work hard and start feeling like maybe life isn't all that bad and then bam, it all goes to shit." 

Claire sat on the footrest in front of Jess, listening. 

Jess's body was hunched over in the chair as she took a sip from her drink. She used her hand to point towards Matt as she spoke, Water pooled the lines under Jess's eyes. "Now, that guy who I really like come to find out is a guy who I swore to myself I would hate for the rest of my life, my roommate hates me for ditching her again, and I'm probably going to have to-"

"Hey," Claire said, placing a hand on Jess's knee. "I know this isn't how you expected things to go but maybe that's a good thing."

Jess peaked her head up from looking down at her lap. "What do you mean?" She questioned softly.

"Think of it like this, now you don't have to hide anything from Matt, you don't have to worry about keeping this life of yours a secret if things get serious between you both." Claire shook her head slightly, "and if he can't accept that this is what you do, then he doesn't deserve you."

Jess smiled lightly, reaching up and pulling Claire into a hug. It was rare Jess would show affection, and that's how you knew it was true. She wasn't a hugger, but when she did, she would hold the other person like they where the only person in the world. 

"Thank you." Jess said, hugging Claire tightly. "You don't understand how nice it feels to be able to tell someone, really." She spoke muffled into her scrubs, her chin resting on her shoulder.

Claire hugged Jess back, pulling back slowly as she looked at Jess. Her black shirt had wet patches of blood from Claire's scrubs. Right as she was about to tell her, Claire's phone began to ring in her pocket. 

"Shit." She mumbled ,"It's the hospital I have to take this." Claire walked into the bathroom connected to Jess's room as she took the call, leaving Jess alone in the darkened room.

Jess faced forward again, watching Matt as he breathed. She counted his breaths in her head, calculating how many breaths he had per minute. 

Maybe Claire was right. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, the idea of him knowing who she was. It was something she would have to get used to, not lying about where she was going each night and using the constant excuse that she was tired from work, but instead telling the truth when he asked. 

Claire walked back into the room, placing her phone in her pocket and looking at Jess with a look of concern. 

"I just got a call from the hospital, they said they needed some extra nurses because of the whole explosion-" 

"Go." Jess nodded.

"I can stay if you want, really it's not that big of a deal." Claire said.

"Don't worry about it, I'll be fine." Jess said, getting a look from Claire that wasn't so reassuring. "Claire really I'll be fine. If anything changes I'll call you." 

Claire nodded, grabbing her coat and walking towards the window where she slipped out, closing it behind her. 

Jess watched the man for a while longer, waiting for him to awaken. She would occasionally walk over and check his pulse, and like she did before, she counted his breaths. 

She was seated in the corner as rain poured down on her windows outside. Loud thunder boomed outside as her eyes began to close slowly, finally falling asleep for the first time in days.

˜"*°•.˜"*°• The Devils Angel •°*"˜.•°*"˜

7|| A sprinkle of water to a blazing fire

Jess was asleep, but not asleep.

It was one of those rests where you felt like you where tired enough to sleep, but every noise around you awakens your mind in a panic. It was a type of sleep that you knew exactly what was going on around you, but your mind was also playing a vivid dream.

Every time the heater kicked on, or thunder boomed over her building, she would wake up thinking someone was in her room. But they weren't, it was just a figure of her imagination. A demon living in her mind, paralyzing all her thoughts and turning them into terror.

This time though when she woke up, it wasn't from thunder or the sound of rain trickling down her window. It was Matt.

Her bed creaked as Matt started to move around. He clenched his hands around the sheets, realizing they weren't his. Immediately Jess could see panic arise on his face. 

This wasn't his bed.

This wasn't his room.

This wasn't his apartment.

Jess instantly shot from her chair the second she saw him move. Matt was trying to sit up as he let out a large groan, clutching his stomach in pain. 

"Stay down." She said, placing a hand on his shoulders as she pushed him back down softly. Her eyes where still adjusting from standing up so fast as she stood in front of him. 

Matt looked over in the direction of Jess as he heard her voice. Despite the sleep he had gotten, he looked exhausted, but also relieved by the sound of her warm voice. 

"Jess?" He asked groggily. 

"Yeah it's me." She said distracted, seeing his shoulder had left a trail of blood on her hand. 

She walked over to the plastic bag in the corner, grabbing a package of gauze and bandages as she brought them over to the bed, emptying them out on her sheets. She opened a package of gauze, pressing it down on his shoulder. 

"Did you?" He felt around on his stomach, stopping at a patch of bandage. "Did you bandage me up?"

"If I did all this you would have already bled out." She said, reaching over for a bandage as she wrapped his shoulder. "I called Claire, she did it for me. I was just on stocking duty while she did all the work." 

Jess walked over to her bathroom as Matt spoke to her. "Claire? How do you know Claire?" He questioned anxiously.

Jess washed her hands, drying them off on a towel that had been stained red from last night. She walked into her bedroom as she dried her hands, cocking her head and furrowing her brows.

"You still haven't figured it out yet?" She questioned. 

"Figured what out? Jess what the hell is going on?" He questioned more tense this time. 

"Think of the last person you where with last night Matt, who was it?" She questioned, wiping her hands as she threw the washcloth onto the floor next to her.

She didn't know why she was being so nonchalant about all of this. Matt was probably confused as fuck. Not only was he in someone else's bed, or apartment for that matter, but he was just told the name of someone he was close to. 

Matt's face changed instantly as he thought. Jess could almost see the hamster on the wheel in his mind. "No." He mumbled under his breath, "No your not-"

"Yeah I am." She shrugged like everything was normal. His breath hitched dramatically as his chest rose faster then it did before. 

 "What your feeling right now, shock and fear, yeah for me it lasted about three hours so depending on how well you handle stress it could-"

"This doesn't make any sense." He interrupted, shaking his head. "I can't be you, she can't be you." He began to panic, trying to stand up from the bed. 

"Matt you need to calm down." Jess said, walking over as she placed her hand on him and pushed him down slightly. "I'll explain everything but you just need to sit down or else you'll bleed everywhere."

"No no no, I hate her. I hate you!" He said, making you have a taken back look. "No no- I don't hate you I hate her, I hate that other person you are." 

"Yeah well I'm not necessarily so fond of The Devil Of Hells Kitchen either." Jess sassed, walking over to her chair as she plopped down. The air was silent between them both for a moment before Jess spoke, "Listen this can go one of two ways," she said calmly, "We can either sit here for the next 8 hours not saying a single word, or we can talk about-" Jess shook her head, "Whatever the hell this is." 

"Your saying all of this like this is normal." Matt said, sitting across the room with his hand clutched tight around his stomach. 

" I've drank an entire bottle of whiskey, and I found some old joints in my closet from when I was in college." She shrugged, "I'll freak out in a few hours."

Matt took a deep sigh as silence wavered over them. The morning sun was shining onto Jess's face as he mirrored his face towards her direction.

"So let me guess you wanna know If I'm really blind?"

"At first I did." Jess said leaning back into her chair, "But Claire explained the whole thing to me, you seeing fire and shit." She motioned with her hand, taking a sip from the whiskey bottle in her left hand. 

Matt scoffed lightly, "Okay well that makes this a bit easier for me then. What else do you know?" He questioned.

Jess started numbering things off with her fingers. "Lets see uh, you see using your other senses, you can listen to heartbeats, and you can fight." She dropped her hands, "Thats really it." She didn't speak for a minute, trying to process everything in her mind. "Does Foggy know?" She probed, "About all this."

"Yeah." He said simply, "He found out a couple months ago, didn't really take it so well." He sat up a bit, his face scrunching from the pain he felt in his stomach. "Didn't talk to me for a couple weeks before he realized I wasn't stopping anytime soon." He pointed towards her bedroom door, "Does she know?"

"Kind of but not really," She shrugged, "It's complicated." 

"And you don't think what Claire told you was?" He asked.

Jess took a deep breath, "That night on the roof when we got that kid, I told you that I killed innocent people before this." She paused, "My dad was the reason I did it. He trained me from age 11 to 18, teaching me how to be his 'hitman' so to say." She paused, "I took care of the messes he made and hid them from everyone else."

Matt felt her heartbeat increase as she spoke. This was the first time she had ever told anyone the truth besides Lily. Even then she never told her, Lily just happened to see what was happening in Jess's life. 

"When I was 18 I told my dad I didn't want to do it anymore. As you can probably guess he didn't react well." She shrugged, "Told me that I was a killer, nothing more. Said that nobody would ever want me after what I did."

She sat up a bit, "Lily was the reason I left. Me and her bought a shitty one bedroom apartment in Hells Kitchen and ever since then she hasn't left my side." She continued, "I made a promise to Lily that I would never go back to vigilante life no matter what and well, it seems I've broken that promise."

Jess sat back into her seat as she lifted her feet onto the foot rest. "She doesn't know that I started doing this again. Every time I come home I just say the same one liner of I'm tired and come in here before leaving through the fire escape." 

Matt continued concentrating on what Jess was saying.

"I don't know if it was guilt or the idea of being a hero but one night I found an old shirt and cargo pants, threw on a bandana over my face and well-" she shrugged, "you know what I did. I found that little girl inside that old building." Jess spaced out, "I took her into the police station, and she thanked me. She told me that God had sent me as her guardian angel to protect her." Jess faintly smiled, "She was the first person that had ever made me feel like I wasn't some worthless killer. It was nice."

Matt listened as Jess spoke of fond memories. He wasn't listening to her heartbeat anymore or the sound of her breathing, he was just listening to her voice. 

He wanted to hug her and tell her it would be alright, but he knew that wouldn't take the pain away from what she went through. It wouldn't take away what she was told, or how she was treated, it wouldn't do anything besides add a sprinkle of water to a blazing fire.

"From there things kept progressing. I took on bigger issues and then one night I found you." She somewhat smiled, "You where a real asshole at first. You did things just to get under my skin, and you always where there telling me to be careful and take it easy and I hated you for that." 

Matt lightly chuckled, "Yeah I remember that." He nodded, "In my defense you where being a bitch."

"I was not being a bitch." Jess argued as the smile kept growing on her lips. 

"Yes you where." Matt let out a small chortle, "You kept telling me you could handle it yourself and got mad the second I got close to you. I still have that scar from whenever you stabbed me." He said, moving up a bit and pointing to his lower back. 

Jess laughed, "I completely forgot I stabbed you." She placed her hand on her neck, "Sorry about that."

Matt waved the comment off using the hand that wasn't wrapped around his stomach, "I threw you off a building, now we're even."

The pair both let out small laughs that filled the room. Jess looked down at her lap, feeling a sense of relief. That relief quickly being cut off by the burning image in her head of her father standing over her mother with a knife in his hand.

"I know things may be different between us now because of all this but..." Jess stopped, "I want you to know that I'm not gonna stop trying to find Fisk. I'll do whatever it takes to find him and make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else." 

"Jess." Matt argued. 

"You can't expect me to stop chasing after him, Matt." She questioned sitting up. "We saw what he has done to people. Think about John Healey for Gods sake, he killed himself because he knew Fisk would find him." She placed her arms out exasperatedly, "He stabbed himself in the head, I feel like that should be a sign this guy is dangerous." 

"And I can't risk that danger getting to you." 

"Matt I'm not asking for permission." Jess said, keeping her gaze on Matt.

"Then why did you tell me?" He questioned. 

"Because I'm gonna have a hell of a time doing it by myself." She announced, "And I could really use some help."

"Didn't we already agree to helping each other before?" Matt asked. 

"Then I was asking as a vigilante who you could easily leave in the dust. Now I'm asking as Jess, someone who I know you don't have the heart to break a promise too." She said, standing up as she walked over to where Matt was, crossing her arms as she stood in front of him.

"Promise me Matt Murdock that no matter how hard it gets, we'll stop Fisk." Jess's voice became soft as she pleaded desperately. "Promise me that we'll stop him." 

Matt didn't move for a minute as he trailed into his own thoughts. She was right, before he could easily break a promise, but now he felt obligated to keep it. Not for himself, not for the people of Hells Kitchen, but for Jess. 

Matt reached his hand up for Jess's, holding it in his as he brought her hand to his heart.

"I Cross my heart Jessie Grace-Phillips, no matter what we'll stop Fisk." He crossed his heart with her hand intertwined with his as he looked up at her with a small smile of hope. "Just do me a favor and don't use the Russian accent ever again." He smiled.

"What you don't like it?" She questioned doing her accent spite of him. The pair broke out in an equal laugh that rushed through the room.

Jess sat down on the bed, seated next to his thighs. Matt's hand was still intertwined with hers as she did so. 

"I'm really glad your okay." She confessed. 

"And I'm glad your okay too." He said, bringing her hand up to his mouth as he placed a light kiss on it. 

No matter what they said or did, things would never be the same between them and they both knew it.

But who says that's a bad thing?