⚠ Trigger warning: mention of suicide, cancer diagnosis ⚠

Na Jaemin
Monday, January 25, 5:00 am ~reality

Jaemin looked out his bedroom window at the rising sun with longing. He was already ready for school, awake for no reason at 5 in the morning despite the fact that he didn't need to be up for another couple of hours.

He sighed and got off his bed, walking out of his room and quietly down the stairs.

He made himself breakfast and paused when his eyes landed on a photo that was on the counter.

It was a picture of his dad and his mother standing next to each other, their arms around their two sons.

Jaemin smiled faintly as he looked at the two kids. One of them was a grumpy, pouting young Jaemin.

The other broke Jaemin's heart.

His older brother laughing jokingly at him as he gave him a playful nudge.

Jaemin blinked away a tear and continued to make his breakfast.

Jaemin's brother took his own life the year before.

Jaemin was convinced that his family had bad luck because shortly after that his mother got cancer. It had gotten bad enough that his mother had been hospitalized.

He knew she wasn't doing well...

No matter how many people approached Jaemin, his best friends had always been his family and his online friend who went by Jen.

So when his brother died and his mother was hospitalized, the only person Jaemin was left with was his father. His father was kind and supportive but a person with as much stress as him can only be like that for so long.

Jaemin remembered the day his brother left them.

He remembered he didn't speak all day until that night.

He got into a discord call with Jen and laid on his bed, curled in a ball under the covers as he cried.

"What's wrong Nana?" Jen had asked, worry evident in his voice.

"Jen... He's gone...."

"What? Sorry, I can't hear you.."

"M-my brother is dead.."

"Oh my god..."

Jaemin had a minor crush on Jen.

No.

He was head over heels for the boy.

But after his brother passed away he had never been the same. Excluding himself from everyone more than he ever had before, only ever speaking with his parents and Jen, barely even talking to teachers.

He smiled faintly as he ate his cereal, letting the tears fall from his face as he knew his father was asleep.

He took out his phone and opened discord, typing a message to his favorite person.

Nana: Jen, I can't sleep.

He waited for a reply and ate some more of his cereal.

Jen: Well you're lucky I just woke up. I'm still tired though..

Jaemin smiled at the reply.

Nana: could we call for a bit before school?

Jen: now? Sure gimme a sec.

Jaemin dumped the rest of his cereal down the drain and went to the front door, opening it slowly and quietly so he didn't wake his dad.

He walked outside without shoes on, his school uniform on him and he sat on the steps to his porch until Jen called.

When he did, Jaemin immediately picked up.

"Is there something wrong Nana?"

Jaemin paused at the boy's low morning voice. He had heard it often but it always caught him off guard.

"No. I just don't want to be alone." Jaemin said with a smile.

"Oh okay... Did you sleep well?"

Jaemin chuckled.

"No, not really... Sometimes I wish I could just fall asleep and not wake up at random intervals.."

"I wish I could sleep forever. Fuck school.."

Jaemin laughed, a little too loud.

"Honestly same."

You know that phrase, be careful what you wish for?

No one ever told this to Jaemin

Everything was so normal that day.

None of them could've ever guessed what awaited them that night.

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